Limitless Evolution As a Snake

I chew on that a second, because free IP is free IP and I’m not exactly swimming in it.

Okay, real question, and I need you to actually answer it this time instead of being cute. If I flip tails around Cherry, or Lyra, what happens? Specifically, not ”don’t do that,” give me the actual specifics.

[System: It stalls for a moment.]

Old mate, I need specifics.

[System: Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a twist. Real answer, straight up, no dodging.]

I wait for it, bracing for something horrible, something that’s gonna keep me up at night on top of everything else keeping me up at night.

[System: It’ll be a fuckfest.]

That’s it? That’s the whole answer.

[System: Yep.]

That’s not an answer, that’s a genre.

[System: Oi, I gave you the technical breakdown already: zero pain response, zero empathy, aggression maxed out. You add a Charm Aura into that mix, and a couple of bonded women standing nearby who already can’t help themselves around you on a good day, do the math. It’s not gonna be a murder thing. It’s gonna be a completely different kind of bad time, but still a bad time. Actually fuck it, send it.]

I stand there letting that sink in, and honestly it’s almost worse than the butcher version. At least the butcher version I could apologise for eventually. This one’s got no clean way out either side.

Great. So best case I turn into a sex pest with superhuman stamina, worst case I turn into a slasher villain, and there’s no way to know which one I’m getting until the coin’s already in the air. I look down at the little floating box again, red and gold, spinning slowly like it’s mocking me.

Fine. I’ll take it.

[System: Knew you would. You’re predictable as hell, mate, you know that?]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Don’t remind me.

The box stops spinning, and something warm settles into my chest like I just swallowed a coal that isn’t burning me for once.

Alright, old mate, I’m beat. Cherry’s finally asleep, actually asleep, not the twitchy kind. I need to shut my brain off for a bit.

[System: Aw, come on, one little peek. I never get to see anything good.]

No, piss off.

[System: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, wanker.]

The system goes quiet, which is the closest thing to privacy I get these days, and I settle my coils in around Cherry, careful not to crush her, careful not to think too hard about how right this feels. Five hours later, or however long it’s actually been because time down here does whatever it wants, Cherry stirs against me.

She stretches out with this tiny squeak, back arching, and when her eyes crack open, I’m already staring at her, no shame, none at all. Her pupils are doing something weird, half like little flames flickering, half just soft and lazy, and I have no idea what that means, but it looks good on her.

”Good morning,” she mumbles, voice all thick with sleep, and she burrows straight into my coils like she owns the place. ”Ow, I feel so sore. You’ll have to carry me.”

She says it like it’s already decided, not a request, just a fact of the universe now.

Guess the bond did something to her confidence too, because pre-bite Cherry would’ve apologised eight times before asking for a glass of water. She pushes herself up just enough to plant a kiss on my cheek, slow and warm, even licks me a little, and grins right into it. ”Good morning. All that baby batter really filled me up, but I could go for some pancakes.”

I have zero idea what to do with that sentence so early in whatever counts as morning down here, so I just nod like a man agreeing to terms he hasn’t read.

”Yeah, alright, I’ll sort you some food. Then we get changed and head to my place. You know how I’m sort of, I dunno, connected to the mafia thing down here.”

”I noticed,” she says, way too casually for someone talking about organised crime. ”When all those big men were following your orders like their lives depended on it.”

”Yeah, well, that’s sort of my dad, I think. He seems to think so, anyway.”

Cherry goes still against my scales, actually still, which for her is basically a full system shutdown.

”...Hello?” I poke her with my tail.

Then her eyes go full heart-mode, little pink shapes swimming where pupils should be, and she practically vibrates. ”So I’m dating, well, bonded, to a mafia prince?”

Great, wonderful. My ego just found a gym membership it didn’t know it needed.

”Uh, yeah, I guess. I’m still figuring out what any of that even means, though.”

She leans in closer, tracing little circles on my scales with one finger, slow and warm, and I have to fight not to shiver like some kind of touch-starved idiot.

”It’s okay,” she purrs, actually purrs, no exaggeration. ”I like it. And for some reason I feel closer to you now, like really closer.”

Yeah, about that.

”So here’s the thing. I keep evolving, forever probably, so I’m not always gonna look like this. And when we bond, you kind of... take one of my skills. Turns out you got one of my best ones.”

Cherry freezes again, then her whole face lights up like I just proposed marriage with a ring made of gold bricks. ”Oh my god, you love me so much you gave me your favourite skill?”

”Sure, yeah, whatever you say, just, heads up, careful with it. If you bite someone while it’s active, it turns their blood to air. One-day cooldown, though.”

Her jaw drops slightly, and her whole body goes taut like she’s about to combust from sheer devotion. ”I will do anything, and everything, to protect you, Matt.”

”No, you will not. I’m protecting you, that’s the whole point—”

She’s not listening at all. Just staring at me with those heart-shaped pupils like I hung the moon and also murdered someone for her honour.