I'm Pretending to Cultivate in Kindergarten

Chapter 41: Chapter 41: Han Wenwen’s Plan

Han Wenwen blinked her fox-like eyes as if it were obvious. ”I found it in a novel. Why are you reacting so strongly? It’s not like there’s anything strictly for adults in there.”

Xiao Heqing let out an ”AH,” completely confused. ”This doesn’t count as strictly for adults?”

”Let me see.” Han Wenwen took the book back and glanced at it. ”No, there isn’t, because I wrote it all myself. In my eyes, the contents of this entire book can be summarized in two words: completely innocent.”

Xiao Heqing couldn’t agree. Hugging her pillow tightly, she carefully peeked at the contents of the book again, only to feel more and more embarrassed the longer she read.

Han Wenwen set her potato chips aside and licked the flavoring powder off her fingers. Then, she pulled out a wet wipe to clean her hands. ”In my opinion, the reason your relationship with Lin Zhengran has hit a bottleneck is because you two are just too familiar with each other as childhood friends. Have you ever seen that saying online? ’The more familiar you are with someone, the harder it is to make a move on them.’”

”But Jiang Xueli has also known Lin Zhengran for many years. She’s in the exact same boat as me.”

Han Wenwen leaned against the wall, her imaginary fox ears twitching as she schemed for her best friend. ”Although I don’t know exactly what happened between Jiang Xueli and Lin Zhengran recently, I can boldly deduce that Jiang Xueli must have done something out of character. Whatever she did, it changed her dynamic with Lin Zhengran and gave him a sense of novelty.”

Xiao Heqing blinked blankly. She didn’t understand.

Han Wenwen stared at her. ”Otherwise, when does a tsundere ever gain the upper hand? I can only admit that I underestimated Jiang Xueli a bit. Just like you, she has an absolute obsession with Lin Zhengran. It has to be him, and no one else.”

Xiao Heqing continued to blink blankly. At the same time, she realized those words applied just as much to her as they did to Jiang Xueli, and a blush crept onto her cheeks.

Han Wenwen continued to explain, ”So, if you want your relationship to progress, there has to be a change. That’s why I made this secret manual for you. Let me read you a few tips...” She flipped to a random page. ”For example, on this page, I wrote: the next time you go to his house, don’t just stand or sit to the side like a dummy. Instead, after you sit down, you need to use body language to show yourself off. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Like, after sitting, you can tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and sneak a peek at him.”

After she finished, she even demonstrated it. Brushing aside some loose hair by her ear, she cast a charming look at He Qing with her fox-like eyes and said gently, ”Just like this. Doesn’t it set the mood perfectly?”

Xiao Heqing felt that Han Wenwen doing it didn’t seem too over the top. However, the thought of doing it in front of him made her want to crawl into a sewer out of sheer embarrassment.

Han Wenwen added, ”Or, for instance, when you’re eating. If you don’t mind food that Lin Zhengran has already taken a bite of, you can take what he was eating and take tiny little bites of it yourself. This kind of intimate action has an unexpectedly strong appeal to boys, and you can reuse it as a tactic.”

Xiao Heqing buried her face completely in the pillow. Her brain was already overloading and smoking from embarrassment, on the verge of exploding like a boiler. Wouldn’t... wouldn’t that count as an indirect kiss?

”And another one! Since you’re so set on him, you can do some slightly bold things too. For example, when the mood feels right, you can pretend to accidentally sit on his lap and gently, stealthily bite his ear?”

Xiao Heqing really couldn’t take it anymore. She flopped onto the bed and pulled the blanket over herself. ”Wenwen, stop, stop! These things aren’t something people our age can do! It’s too shameful!”

”Then how about blowing on his ear instead?”

Her muffled voice came from under the covers. ”Isn’t that the same thing?! I can’t possibly do that! Even if I threw away all my shame and did it, he would definitely get mad! He’s really fierce, and he’ll smack my head!”

Seeing Qingqing hiding under the blanket, wrapped up like a giant silkworm chrysalis, Han Wenwen imagined the scenario she had just described. ”It wouldn’t be that bad, right? These things don’t even count as kissing or hugging! I only wrote them down because I thought they weren’t going too far. If I had a boy I liked, I think doing this would be totally normal. I’d definitely be dying to seduce him eight hundred times a day.”

Qingqing peeked her head out from the blanket, her pure and clean eyes full of speechlessness. ”Wenwen, you’ve been corrupted by novels. You’re not pure anymore.”

Han Wenwen let out a PFFT and burst into laughter, patting Qingqing’s head. ”Qingqing, you’re just too cute. I really don’t know how Lin Zhengran manages to hold himself back. But... if you don’t make any changes, you’re going to lose. Besides, what’s wrong with doing some intimate things with the boy you like?”

Seeing Xiao Heqing hesitate, she enunciated every word with a bewitching allure, ”Why not give it a try? It might just move your relationship forward.”

Xiao Heqing bit her lip. After pondering for a long time, she buried her face in the bed again. Suddenly, she remembered something. ”By the way, Wenwen, let’s put these things aside for now. There’s something else I need to discuss with you.”

”Just say it. Do we need to be polite with each other?”

The giant silkworm chrysalis sat up and spread its wings. Understanding perfectly, Han Wenwen got under the blanket with Xiao Heqing. The two adorable heads poked out.

”Even though I’m not in the same class as Lin Zhengran, I know that besides Jiang Xueli, there must be other girls who like him, right? After all, he’s handsome, gets good grades, and excels in every aspect. He’s been popular since elementary school.”

Han Wenwen acknowledged this. ”That’s true. I’ve also noticed that a lot of girls in our class secretly like him. There are even girls from other classes who come over to talk to him.”

”Could... could you secretly keep an eye on him for me? I mean... you understand what I’m trying to say, right?”

Han Wenwen thought about it. ”Qingqing means you want him to talk to other girls less, right? That’s simple enough. However, I need to warn you first—since he and I are desk mates now, if I keep an eye on him, there might be some gossip about us spreading around the class. You’re not allowed to get mad.”

Xiao Heqing smiled and agreed, ”Of course. After all, I’m the one asking you to do this. As a reward, I’ll treat you to dinner tonight.”

”It’s a deal!”

The two best friends linked their pinky fingers.

Han Wenwen then deliberately asked with a wicked grin, ”So, what about those things I mentioned earlier?”

Too ashamed to show her face, Xiao Heqing cried, ”Let me think about it! Give me some time to think!”

Ultimately, Xiao Heqing caved in. However, things clearly didn’t pan out the way Han Wenwen had envisioned. Some tactics worked wonders for her, but when Xiao Heqing tried them, they were utterly useless.

As a result, ever since the two best friends formulated this series of plans today, the only person who suffered during the final half-month before winter break was Lin Zhengran.

For instance, a few days later, Lin Zhengran noticed that the usually well-behaved Xiao Heqing began acting completely crazy in front of him for no reason. While sitting perfectly fine beside him, she suddenly started scratching at her sideburns non-stop, over and over again.

Lin Zhengran asked, ”Is your head itchy? How long has it been since you last washed your hair?”

Xiao Heqing let out an awkward ”AH” and immediately dropped her hand. ”My head isn’t itchy... I just...” She let out a soft WHIMPER.

Failure. She crossed that one out of the little notebook.

Another example was during a weekend when Xiao Heqing came over to his house to play. Lin Zhengran had just opened a box of cookies. He took a bite, and Xiao Heqing snatched it from him, holding it in her hand with a heavily conflicted expression. Because she knew this counted as an indirect kiss... she was simply too embarrassed to bring herself to eat it.

Lin Zhengran had no idea what this silly girl was trying to do, so he grabbed another cookie and took a bite. Xiao Heqing snatched that half-eaten piece from him and placed it in her hand as well.

After this happened several times in a row, Lin Zhengran was annoyed to the extreme seeing her holding a handful of half-eaten cookies. ”Are you a hamster? Are you hoarding rations over there? There are so many in the box, why do you keep stealing mine? Give them back!”

With that, he flicked her forehead.

Xiao Heqing clutched her head in pain. Wanting to cry but lacking tears, she returned all the cookies to Lin Zhengran. ”I’m sorry...”

Failure. Cross this one out too.

As for blowing on his ear, Xiao Heqing didn’t have the guts for such a thing. She settled for the next best thing: blowing on his hair.

Thus, one day while Lin Zhengran was sitting on the school steps deep in thought, he suddenly felt He Qing standing behind him and going WHOOSH, blowing his hairstyle into a mess. He fixed it with his hand, but He Qing blew it into a mess again. He fixed it, and she blew it apart once more.

Veins bulged on Lin Zhengran’s forehead. His fist was clenched. It was clenched hard!

”He Qing! Are you acting crazy lately?! Stand in front of me at attention and take your beating!” Seeing her jump in fright but still obediently step forward, he rewarded her with a hard flick to the head.

Xiao Heqing squatted on the ground, clutching her head pitifully. She thought that these tricks were completely useless—not a single one of them worked. Instead, they just made him angry every single day.

And lately, the one acting crazy wasn’t just He Qing, but also a certain Han... Neither of the two best friends was going to make his life easy.