I'm Pretending to Cultivate in Kindergarten

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Transmigration Failed, Pretending to Cultivate

Lin Chengzhen, Sunshine Hope Kindergarten.

A ray of morning sun pierced through the window, shining on a little boy’s utterly speechless face. He listened to the nursery rhyme playing in the classroom and watched the beautiful teacher in a floral dress clapping the beat on the podium.

She coaxed them in a gentle, child-friendly tone, ”Children, listen to the teacher two more times, and then we’ll sing it together! *Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are...*”

The little boy sitting in the back row by the window was named Lin Zhengran. He was five years old this year and currently in Senior Class Three.

Originally a twenty-eight-year-old man whose family had just received a massive demolition compensation payout, he had been forcibly bound by a dog-crap system and transmigrated into this world. According to the system, this was a Xianxia World. Demons, ghosts, and bizarre phenomena were everywhere, and the living conditions for ordinary people were incredibly brutal. As for him, he was to start as an ordinary Loose Cultivator, gradually improving his Cultivation and expanding his influence until he could establish his own sect and become the strongest in the world!

He thought, ”But... this broken system! Setting aside whether I even wanted to transmigrate, is this damn thing pirated? Can you open your eyes and look at where you dropped me? Is this even the same country? Why are there cars, high-rises, and hotpot restaurants on the streets of a Cultivation World? Why am I in a kindergarten? And why the hell am I only five years old?! I can’t even swear properly anymore!”

[System activation complete. Congratulations to the host for a successful transmigration. Detecting that your current world is the Spiritual Energy Continent. The Cultivation levels in the Spiritual Energy Continent range from one to one hundred, and one can only become a god after reaching level one hundred. Furthermore, you will acquire an exclusive skill for every ten levels you increase, which will significantly enhance the host’s combat power.]

Hearing the pirated system’s voice echo in his mind, Lin Zhengran thought, ”With a setting like this... calling you a pirated version really isn’t doing you an injustice.”

[Your current Cultivation level is one, and your aptitude is ordinary. Having just entered this world, you are utterly lost. After transmigrating for a month, your Cultivation hasn’t improved at all. With a blank stare, you are currently agonizing over how to proceed on the path ahead.]

[Today, you have finally encountered a fortuitous opportunity! On the road, you met He Fairy from the Righteous Sects, and her Cultivation doesn’t seem high. Through eavesdropping, you learned that she is carrying a Pure Yang Treasure Pill. It is said that consuming it can fiercely boost your Cultivation! When paired with another Elixir, the Red Blood Pill, it can even remold your bones and sinews!]

[You must find a way to obtain the Treasure Pill to fix your mediocre aptitude. If you truly cannot get it, you can only blame your shallow luck and seek another fortuitous encounter.]

He thought, ”No, seriously, bro... How has it been a month and this transmigration bug still hasn’t been fixed? System bro, I beg you to open your eyes and take a look. I’m in modern society right now! Where is there a He Fairy holding a Treasure Pill?! What kind of fortuitous opportunity am I supposed to snatch?!”

”Lin Zhengran? Lin Zhengran... you’re pressing on my hair...” His deskmate’s whiny, mosquito-like hum interrupted his thoughts.

An adorable little girl in a pink dress with her hair tied in a ponytail was staring at Lin Zhengran with an innocent, clueless expression. The girl was named He Qing. She was Lin Zhengran’s deskmate, childhood friend, and next-door neighbor.

”Lin Zhengran... my hair...” Her voice was quiet, as if she were very afraid of him.

Lin Zhengran turned to look. His fierce gaze indeed spotted that her hair had somehow gotten pinned under his arm. However, he didn’t lift it. Instead, he asked curiously, ”Who told you to put your hair under my arm?”

Xiao Heqing looked aggrieved but didn’t dare talk back. ”I’m sorry... it’s my fault. Could you please lift your arm? Otherwise, I can’t move, and I need to go to the bathroom.”

Afraid that Lin Zhengran would refuse, she even fished a milk candy out of her pocket. ”I’ll give you this candy. My mom gave it to me this morning. I only have this one.”

Too lazy to bicker with a child, Lin Zhengran lifted his arm.

Xiao Heqing quickly pulled her hair free and smoothed it out before nervously placing the milk candy in front of him. ”You can eat it...”

After setting it down, she looked up at the teacher on the podium, hesitantly clutching her bulging little tummy with a conflicted expression.

”I don’t eat this stuff.” Lin Zhengran didn’t really like sweets. He originally wanted to return it to her, but just as he picked it up, the system’s voice popped out again.

[To think that using only sweet words, without drawing a single blade or firing a shot, you managed to fool a fairy from the Renowned and Righteous Sects into handing over the Pure Yang Treasure Pill on a silver platter! Amazing, truly amazing! You must consume it immediately! Otherwise, if the other party goes back on her word, you will lose this fortuitous opportunity. Furthermore, seeing how gullible this fairy is, you might as well ask her what other treasures she has on her and take them all. Alternatively, you can quit while you’re ahead and bid her farewell right here.]

Lin Zhengran stared in silence. Looking at the milk candy in his hand, he suddenly realized something. He thought, ”Could this system be blind? Wait... don’t tell me!”

Staring at the milk candy, Lin Zhengran absentmindedly unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth. Unexpectedly, after swallowing it, he actually felt refreshed, a sweet fragrance filling his mouth! A milky flavor spread from the tip of his tongue... Oh, wait, no! A surge of strength burst from his fist!

At this moment, Lin Zhengran felt like he could swat a giant mosquito to death with his bare hands!

[The Treasure Pill has enhanced your Cultivation. Your Cultivation level has increased to level three. Qi Power +1, Physical Strength +1.]

Although the world was completely different from the system’s description, Lin Zhengran actually felt his strength increase! Beside him, when Xiao Heqing had heard him say he didn’t want it, she thought he was going to give it back. Yet, seeing him change his mind and eat it, she asked in a milky voice, ”Didn’t you say you wouldn’t eat it?”

Lin Zhengran stared blankly for a moment before coming to his senses. He thought, ”So even though the system failed its transmigration, it can still be used? Now that’s interesting.”

He looked at He Qing with profound meaning.

Thinking her words had made him unhappy, He Qing lowered her head and clutched her tummy, terrified.

”I didn’t say anything,” Lin Zhengran smiled and asked. ”He Qing, do you have anything else to eat?”

He Qing shook her little head, the ponytail at the back of her head bouncing twice. ”No.”

Lin Zhengran offered a terrifying smile. ”Are you sure? Didn’t your mom give you a lot of snacks this morning?”

Still clutching her stomach, He Qing felt around in her pocket and pulled out a large jujube. ”I only have this left... Everything else is... is all eaten.”

[The Red Blood Pill! This is the perfect match for the Pure Yang Treasure Pill. To think your luck today would be this incredibly good! If these two Elixirs are taken together, your unremarkable aptitude will be improved! From then on, the gates to the Cultivation World will swing wide open for you!]

He thought, ”I knew it! Even though the world is different, as long as I do something similar, I can still exploit the system’s bug to get rewards.”

Lin Zhengran took the jujube from her hand. Seeing her suddenly get teary-eyed as if she were about to cry, he said helplessly, ”I won’t take your stuff for nothing. You’re clutching your stomach because you want to go to the bathroom but don’t dare call the teacher, right? I’ll call the teacher for you, but this jujube belongs to me now, okay?”

Upon hearing this, He Qing looked at him in disbelief. In her memory, the older brother next door, Lin Zhengran, had always been super mean. How could he say something like this?

”Are we good or not? Say something,” Lin Zhengran pressed.

Frightened, Xiao Heqing nodded repeatedly.

Lin Zhengran raised his hand without hesitation. ”Teacher! He Qing wants to go to the bathroom!”

He Qing hadn’t expected him to yell it out loud. Blushing deeply, she felt the entire class turn to look at her.

However, the kindergarten teacher was used to this. ”Go ahead. Hurry back.”

Amidst her panic, He Qing’s face lit up with pleasant surprise. She quickly stood up and replied timidly, ”Thank you, Teacher. I’ll be right back.” Throwing a grateful glance at Lin Zhengran, who was busy studying the jujube, she hurriedly left the classroom for the bathroom. She couldn’t hold it in much longer.

Lin Zhengran, on the other hand, ate the jujube. He could clearly feel something within him improving.

Suddenly, the kindergarten teacher coughed and sternly criticized a certain someone. ”Lin Zhengran! No sneaking snacks during class, you hear me?! It affects the other children! Save it for when class is over!”

[Terrifying! After you took the fairy’s treasure, someone actually threatened you using a telepathic voice transmission! It must be the fairy’s master protecting her from a thousand miles away. Fortunately, you did not attack the fairy just now, otherwise, you would have definitely suffered her master’s retaliation! This terrifies you, and you secretly resolve to tread carefully in this world from now on, lest you lose your life!]

[You have successfully absorbed the Red Blood Pill. Your aptitude has gone from perfectly unremarkable to somewhat remarkable. Level increased to four. Energy +1.]

Lin Zhengran was speechless. He replied, ”Got it, Teacher.”

He thought, ”It seems this is some kind of narrator system. But it’s true that fortune and misfortune are intertwined. At least in this world, I have almost zero risk of losing my life. I can fiercely develop myself from now on!

”Speaking of which, how am I supposed to cultivate in this world? I can’t just rely on eating Elixirs to progress, can I? ...Wait, don’t tell me I have to read books and study.”

Lin Zhengran tried flipping open the kindergarten children’s book.

[Cultivating - This is a beginner-level cultivation scroll. Once fully memorized, you will break through to level five.]

Lin Zhengran muttered, ”You freaking gotta be kidding me! It really is! The difficulty of late-stage Cultivation is going to be way too insane, isn’t it?!”