The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

But what can we say? The universe, vast and unruly, paid no mind to love-struck students and their whispered confessions beneath shared blankets.

Because while two young souls were locked in the throes of blooming affection—fingers tangled, hearts echoing in sync—somewhere in another galaxy, a very different kind of storm was brewing.

King Garick Zulgara was preparing for war.

...Or, more accurately, for retrieval.

Of his daughter.

While a newly minted couple basked in the honeymoon haze of cuddles and stolen kisses, he was busy scowling at reports, his temporary throne room vibrating with the kind of restrained fury only a doting father could muster.

”Your Majesty,” a nervous aide began, holding a trembling datapad, ”we’ve renovated the Princess’s chambers. Even the bath has been retrofitted to accommodate human proportions. We also added extra pillows—softer ones.”

Garick’s massive leg bounced once. Then again. A foreboding rhythm.

”And?” he rumbled, voice low and clipped.

”...And, ah, we’ve made arrangements for her favorite things. Imported new clubs. Reinforced weapons. And even a personalized training dummy—”

”What I care about,” King Garick cut in, eyes narrowing like a predator sighting prey, ”are updates about her. Where is she?”

The aide flinched. ”A-at the Royal Military Academy, Your Majesty. She’s reportedly...still attending classes.”

”And?”

”And...and we’re scheduled to appear before the Emperor in three days. We should be able to visit Planet Nova the day after.”

Garick let out a sigh. A long, rumbling, disapproving sigh.

”Anymore mining-related movements?”

”There’s still ongoing consolidation, as per her last directive. The warehouse stockpile has nearly doubled—”

”So she is building something,” he muttered under his breath.

That girl.

Garick waved the aide away and leaned back, his massive frame creaking the reinforced throne. ”Hmph.”

Every day she stayed away, she made more noise. More ripples. More waves.

And what’s worse?

She was doing it with humans.

”Surrounded by midgets,” he grumbled, rubbing his temple. ”What about her wedding?” Because any longer and I might bite through my tusks.

He sighed again—more dramatic this time, for effect—before dragging a hand down his face.

Kira had always been a little wild. A little too clever. A little too bright.

But he hadn’t expected her to shine this brightly out there, not in a world of thin-blooded, noodle-armed creatures and half-baked bureaucrats who probably couldn’t even lift a proper greataxe.

She was meant to command armies.

Not enroll in a place far away from home.

And yet...there she was.

Garick could already feel the incoming headache. Deep and full-bodied. Like a migraine brewed from disappointment and paternal devotion.

Fine. So be it.

He would sort it out in person.

With a proper father-daughter talk. Anyway, they were coming home soon.

So it’ll have to be whichever came first.

Meanwhile, the alleged ”midgets” were waking up to a brand-new day of hard labor, which, surprisingly, was still leagues better than going to school.

For one, a certain blonde midget who had passed out after being kissed senseless and spoiled rotten had woken up with a suspicious spring in his step.

He was radiant. He was refreshed. And he was snickering every five seconds despite having to shovel what could only be described as beast poop.

Yes. Poop.

Technically, it was soil—dark, nutrient-rich, and filled with spiritual energy from the digestion of Cindermoss Burrowers.

But even when Luca rejoiced at the sight of it, the burrowers would definitely identify it as their poop.

See, today had started with inspections. Luca had a full schedule lined up, and to everyone’s surprise, Ollie had not only woken up early but also volunteered to tag along.

People stared.

The sun was still rising, and here was Ollie. Awake. Dressed. Not grumpy.

Something was clearly wrong.

But Ollie had a reason.

See, he had a boyfriend now. A real one. One that responds and has an entire schedule filled with things that Ollie couldn’t really understand. And clearly, his boyfriend was an upstanding citizen of the Empire. And so, as someone in a committed relationship, he felt it was time to turn over a new leaf.

He was going to be responsible.

He was going to work.

So he was going to shovel beast poop like a man.

Because what better example to follow than his perfect brother, Luca?

Well, technically, it was largely because he didn’t know that it would be part of the agenda since their first task of the day had actually been inspecting the livestock and checking in with Jax.

When they arrived, things were...surprisingly orderly. The animals were calm. The barns were clean. Jax was taking notes with such fervor that he looked like he was about to uncover the secrets of the universe.

The only problem?

Jax looked like he hadn’t slept.

”Why do you look like that?” Luca asked, squinting at his friend.

Jax blinked blearily. ”It’s the bull.”

”...The bull?” Ollie echoed.

Jax nodded solemnly. ”He’s...popular.”

It took a second for the meaning to settle. When it did, Luca sputtered. Ollie choked.

But Jax wasn’t done.

”I didn’t know animals could flirt that aggressively. And I didn’t know milk cows could fight. But now I know. And I wish I didn’t.”

Luca didn’t know whether to laugh or apologize.

But the surprises didn’t end there.

Because it wasn’t just barn drama waiting for them that morning, the dungeon-linked beasts—those powerful, mysterious, temperamental creatures—had news of their own.

Some of them were expecting.

”Already?!” Luca and Ollie said in unison.

How come love was everywhere?!

”Yes,” one of the Beast Experts said with a serene nod. ”You have to understand, Young Lord. For most of these beasts, it has been centuries since they’ve had a space this...habitable.”

”You mean luxurious?” Ollie mumbled, still thinking about the daycare and those beasts that had water beds.

And just as the realization settled in, so did the sight of the piles

Because what followed were the offerings.

Mountains of them.

Apparently, the beasts were very comfortable. Comfortable enough to overproduce.

And that was how Luca—bright-eyed and ready to see the ”miracle soil” created by the cindermoss burrowers—ended up turning over steaming heaps of beast-made soil with his little brother at his side.

”Is...this good?” Ollie asked, poking a mound with his shovel like it might explode.

Luca beamed. ”Definitely. With this, we can prep raised beds for things like corn, and other root crops...”

”Root crops,” Ollie nodded, trying to imagine a greater future and not butts.

Then he paused.

”Brother, just how much of this are we supposed to check?”

”Oh, just this pile.” Luca gestured towards what looked like a field.

”Wait. This field?! All of it is poop?!”

Luca tilted his head. ”Yes, brother! How cool, right?!”

Ollie looked down at his hands.

Then screamed internally.

Responsibility was hard.

But he had a boyfriend now. And that meant no turning back.

At least, they were going to see each other later.

And they really did, for a good three minutes before the grieving blonde had to be taken back into the newly built domes to witness Duke Leander’s surviving plant.

The little mechanic was devastated, because three minutes wasn’t even enough to ask about his day! Was he supposed to survive on thoughts now?

But more importantly, how did he survive before?!