The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL]

It was another one-way beatdown.

On one corder was a pitiful cat, while on the other was a victorious tortoise who was demanding a bath.

Yes, that tortoise.

The one who had just mere moments ago laid the mighty Phasetail Lynx flat with expertly aimed tentacle slaps.

Tortie was adamant about cleanliness after the shadow of being contaminated by corruption, and while the cat hadn’t been contaminated, it sure missed about a month’s worth of baths.

And the guardian beast was not having any of that.

The lynx could only flinch.

It may have been the size of a hovercraft, but after that slap, it knew better than to resist.

And so, with the grace of a deposed monarch, the beast slunk after Tortie like a prisoner of war.

Now, one can just imagine the kind of battle they faced for this.

Not only did it take an industrial-grade cleaning station, but with the size of this beast, they needed about half a dozen brave groomers and what could only be described as divine intervention to get through the matting.

Yes, for Tortie had to literally lounge across the table while snacking on this new thing called Dandelions.

While cats are known to groom themselves, this one seemed to have gone through hell to end up looking like this.

The grime? Legendary.

The smell? Historic.

But when the last clump of fur was freed and the final spritz of fragrant mist settled—behold!

”Huh?”

”Wait a minute,” Ollie squinted, the familiarity nagging at his soul.

This cat, this one looks really familiar.

Well, that is, if you don’t consider its current size.

”What’s wrong, brother?” Luca asked, suddenly nervous because of his expression.

”I don’t know if you remember Owen? But my little brother once got addicted to this show. And it was largely about a cat called, Mr. Mittens.”

”And they seriously look alike,” said Ollie, whose head kept tilting at this.

”That’s because he’s really Mr. Mittens.” Said Xavier, who had just gotten the tag results for this beast.

”What?! But how could that be?!”

This one was registered as a house cat, but the Prince was not surprised. From what he knew of these particular beasts, they required a certain amount of spiritual energy to maintain this form.

And with the overall scarcity that had been going on for nearly a century now, no wonder this beast never got to show its true appearance.

”But didn’t Mr. Mittens go missing a few months ago?” Kyle reminded them.

”Kidnapping, right?” How could he not know when his owner, Earl Charles Nolan, nearly stormed his big brother’s office to ask for support in looking for the missing cat?

Now, because they really received a request for ransom that seemed to involve space pirates, the military was asked to help.

And they did launch a rescue, only to find out that the kidnappers actually lost the cat.

No wonder.

Because this one could literally disappear from thin air.

That was how Mr. Mittens managed to free himself from captivity; the only problem was that it used up its last energy reserve.

And he realized the inevitable. Without a way to get more spiritual energy, he was going to die.

And that was how the beast kept wandering through different ships by camouflaging itself.

While he couldn’t phase, he was still able to camouflage, which allowed him to roam in search of home or spiritual energy.

It was just that the cat, however majestic it was, was still a cat and couldn’t read and remember how to go home using hovercrafts, and eventually, it managed to land on Planet Kyros.

And that was likely the best coincidence that could ever happen to him.

For the bewildered lynx did not expect how wonderful the lives of these other beasts were.

But his joy in experiencing the Dungeon-Linked Space’s energy was short-lived, for his owner arrived in absolutely no time.

__

Earl Charles was actually in the middle of his third box of tissues as he lamented on his still missing cat when the distressed man received a terminal notification.

Now, the dejected Earl used to bounce up every time he got a prompt, especially during the first week of disappearance, but after a month of false reports and scams for the rewards, the Earl had grown weary.

And hopeless.

So, when the Earl got this call, he initially answered with this interest, until the person on the other end mentioned the House of Kyros.

The Earl was jolted awake.

He was apparently talking to the Butler of the House of Kyros, who sent a holographic invitation to come over, as they thought they had his cat.

The man who used to be a beacon of elegance with his impeccable hair was a mess and practically in tears when he asked, ”You found him?!”

”My precious Mr. Mittens!”

”We believe so, as the tag reflected your information, ” said Butler Gary, who remained composed but avoided mentioning the fact that the cat was now this big.

”I’ll be right there! Thank you so much!” Earl Charles declared, practically sprinting out the moment he realized that this call was the most legitimate one he’d ever gotten.

That was how Mr. Mittens, who had just started enjoying his stay in the Sanctuary, was pulled out to see his servant, who was brimming with tears.

Ah, it is this one. Thought the beast, who was miffed but interested in meeting the human who had served him for a long time.

Out of everyone, he was the most diligent.

The Earl could not believe his eyes, as his hands shook as he beheld the once-missing Mr. Mittens, who now resembled a feline deity if one even existed.

”Mr. Mittens...” Charles croaked in reverence.

The Phasetail Lynx, who was still thought of as a cat, blinked in acknowledgement. And then, with the arrogance only a cat of its caliber could muster, it gave the Earl a long, judgemental once-over.

”You’re so big,” the Earl gasped, his voice trembling.

”But it is definitely you, my darling Mr. Mittens.”

Now, nobody questioned just how a creature the size of a sports hovercraft could still be referred to as ”darling.”

After all, their Young Lord’s pet was that small tortoise who had a landslide win against the hovercraft.

The Earl attempted to throw his arms wide, only to immediately second-guess that decision when Mr. Mittens gave a playful but still terrifying flick of his tail.

__

As it turned out, the Earl had no idea that his cat was not just a house cat but an actual Phasetail Lynx.

He was surprised to learn about the few things to remember against a possible escape.

Especially now that his pet was clearly super-charged.

But the Earl could only celebrate and was at least glad that his baby was kidnapping-proof!

His attention was fully on his cat, now back to preening as if the last few months of hardship had been nothing but a minor inconvenience.

”I can’t thank you all enough!” Exclaimed the Earl, who thought of the most suitable thing!

”A reward! Of course, you must all be rewarded!”

But before anyone could protest, Mr. Mittens let out a low growl of disapproval.

That was surprising, but at the same time, one tortoise was sure this was going to happen.

Hmph!

Another one.

Kyle had a feeling something like this was probably going to take place and so before the Earl came, they discussed what to do about beasts that were energy dependent.

Letting them all go like that was tantamount to letting them die, but at the same time, they could not keep all these beasts who clearly had responsible owners.

”Oh, I know how!” said Ollie, who had a smile fit for one young Mylor.

And right now, was the chance to open up this discussion they had planned earlier.

”You’re...not leaving?” The Earl blinked in disbelief as his beloved feline sauntered to Luca’s side, curling its massive tail around the young heir like a fuzzy barricade.

Luca could only smile awkwardly. Well, they did expect resistance, but not like this.

Not to the extent where they’d destroy a pet owner’s heart.

”Why would I leave?! Shouldn’t we just move here instead?!” The cat seemed to purr, its body language trying to convey this obvious thought.

This place has everything; who would want to go back to drinking pet nutrient solution when even the tree bark from here was better!

”But—but I’m your owner?!”

The Earl’s mouth opened and closed like a malfunctioning fish.

Yeah, clearly it was time to discuss it with the Earl before he perished earlier than expected.