The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 39: Chapter 39 - Ethan

Roxie moved beside Ethan with the Fairmont hoodie turned inside out, the hood pulled low, and the cheap silver mask covering most of her face.

She felt ridiculous.

Ethan was enjoying it way too much.

”Stop smiling,” she said.

”I’m enjoying this.”

”That makes one of us.”

They passed the ring toss booth, where a boy from Briarwick missed five throws in a row and acted like the bottles had personally betrayed him. A few girls near the cotton candy stand turned when Ethan passed, then paused on Roxie’s hoodie and mask like they were trying to place her.

Roxie lowered her head.

Ethan caught it. ”You really don’t want anyone knowing it’s you.”

”That was the entire agreement.”

”It’s kind of intense.”

”You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” she said, watching one girl stare at Ethan like waiting for him to notice her counted as flirting.

Ethan followed her gaze. ”Jealous?”

Roxie faced him. ”Of a girl who thinks making eye contact with an Eagles quarterback is a personality? Please.”

He laughed. ”You say Eagles like it’s a disease.”

”It is tonight.”

They headed toward the rides, where people crowded around the spinning swings and ticket booth. Ethan scanned the fairgrounds like he was still figuring out the town, the carnival, and the way Briarwick students managed to take up space even outside school.

”So,” Roxie said, because silence with him felt weird, ”why Fairmont?”

”My parents divorced.”

She turned her head slightly.

He shrugged like he had practiced making it sound casual. ”Dad stayed in Ohio. Mom moved here for work, and senior year became my surprise punishment.”

”Fun.”

”Very. New school, new team, everybody expecting me to save the season because I transferred in.”

”Unfortunately for you, Briarwick exists.”

He grinned. ”Unfortunately for Briarwick, so do I.”

”Bold, considering you lost.”

”That was one game.”

”That was the game.”

He shook his head, still amused. ”You really are Briarwick now.”

Roxie faced forward. ”I go there.”

”No, I mean you seem like you belong there.”

She snorted. ”That’s the goal.”

”You always wanted that?”

”To belong somewhere decent? Shocking.”

His grin faded. ”That’s not what I meant.”

”I know what you meant.”

They passed a booth selling cheap bracelets, plastic crowns, and light-up glasses. Ethan stopped, bought a neon pink bracelet, and handed it to her.

Roxie stared at it. ”Why?”

”For the disguise.”

”This is making the disguise worse.”

”It distracts from the Fairmont hoodie.”

”It distracts from taste.”

”You’re the one hiding from an entire school.”

Roxie took the bracelet and slipped it on because arguing beside a booth full of plastic tiaras felt like a low point.

Ethan studied it on her wrist. ”Cute.”

”Don’t.”

”Okay.”

He let the noise of the carnival fill the space for a few seconds before saying, ”Do you ever think about the past?”

Roxie’s answer came fast. ”No.”

”I do.”

”That sounds upsetting.”

”Sometimes it was funny.”

”For you.”

He turned to her. ”You had me.”

Roxie gave him a look.

He winced. ”Okay. Bad answer.”

She kept moving.

”I remember Brandon Pike throwing bottle caps at your backpack,” he said.

Her jaw tightened.

”And I remember walking home with you after.”

Roxie turned away because, unfortunately, she remembered that too. Ethan beside her on the sidewalk, kicking rocks into the gutter, talking about some stupid video game like he had not just seen her get humiliated outside the cafeteria.

At the time, she had acted annoyed.

She had also walked slower so he would stay beside her.

He cleared his throat. ”You gave me a donut once too.”

Roxie glanced at him. ”What?”

”At school. Before you disappeared. I gave you that little birthday invitation, and you had a donut from the cafeteria. You split it and gave me half.”

Roxie stopped for half a second.

She remembered the donut.

”It was stale,” she said.

Maybe she had wanted him to have one decent thing from her before she left.

”It was still a donut.”

”You were being irritating about your birthday.”

”I invited you.”

”I know.”

”You didn’t come.”

Roxie watched a kid at the balloon dart booth pop one balloon and scream like he had won a car.

”I moved here,” she said.

Ethan’s face shifted. ”That weekend?”

”Something like that.”

”With your mom?”

Roxie’s shoulders went stiff under the hoodie. ”Yeah.”

”I thought you just ditched me.”

She gave him a flat look. ”You thought I skipped your birthday party because I hated you?”

”You acted like you hated everyone.”

”I was eleven. Everyone deserved it.”

He laughed, but it came out softer this time. ”I waited for you.”

Roxie’s chest tightened in a way she did not appreciate.

He focused on the ticket booth instead of her. ”Mom bought too much pizza. I kept saying one more person might come.”

They moved past the Ferris wheel, where couples kept stopping to take pictures under the lights.

”So Briarwick was after that?” he asked.

”Yeah.”

”And you just became this?”

Roxie faced him fully. ”I worked for this.”

”I didn’t mean it like that.”

”You did a little.”

He paused, then nodded. ”Maybe.”

”At least you admit it.”

”You were quiet back then.”

”I was ignored.”

”That’s different?”

”Very.”

Ethan slowed near the fence.

Roxie hated the way the conversation had turned serious. She hated being treated like a before-and-after photo, like someone could compare the weird girl from fifth grade to the cheer captain from Briarwick and decide which one counted more.

”I changed,” she said. ”And I’m proud of it.”

His expression sobered.

She stepped closer and lowered her voice. ”You remember fifth grade like it was cute. I remember being the weird girl.”

”I didn’t think of you like that.”

”Other people did.”

”I know.”

”No, you don’t. You got to leave and come back as the new quarterback. I had to rebuild myself from nothing.”

Ethan held that for a second, then nodded. ”Okay.”

Roxie had expected a joke.

The fact that he didn’t make one left the moment sitting there between them, awkward and serious and way too honest for a carnival where someone behind them was yelling about funnel cake.

Then he said, ”You do belong here, though.”

She narrowed her eyes. ”I grew boobs. It helped.”

Ethan choked on a laugh. ”Roxxane.”

”What? It’s true.”

”You can’t just say that.”

”I can. I’m disguised.”

He laughed harder, and Roxie almost smiled.

For a second, he looked like the boy from fifth grade who used to trade chips and pretend not to notice when she had nothing for lunch.

His voice softened. ”I missed you.”

Roxie glanced at the bracelet on her wrist. ”I wonder why.”

”I mean it.”

”That’s your first mistake.”

”I want to be your friend again.”

Roxie should have shut that down immediately.

She really should have.

”You can text me,” she said.

Ethan brightened. ”Yeah?”

”But you can’t talk to me in public.”

”That’s harsh.”

”That’s the deal.”

”So I’m your secret friend?”

”You’re barely a friend.”

”I’ll take it.”

Roxie turned away before he could catch her smiling.

Then she saw the football team near the basketball toss.

Her stomach tightened.

Mason was laughing at Kyle, who had missed a shot and looked furious at the rim. Dylan leaned on one crutch, talking to two girls like his ankle injury had upgraded his social life. Zac stood a little behind them with his hands in his pockets.

His attention shifted toward Ethan.

Then toward her.

Roxie pulled the hood lower. ”Move.”

Ethan glanced over. ”Relax.”

”I am relaxed, and we really need to move.”

The football players started toward them before she could escape.

Mason noticed Ethan first. ”Well, damn. Fairmont came to enemy territory.”

Kyle sized him up. ”Aren’t you the Eagles’ quarterback?”

Ethan smiled. ”Yeah.”

Mason grinned. ”Hell of a game.”

Dylan laughed. ”For you.” He pointed at his ankle.

Ethan glanced at Roxie, then back at them. ”You guys played well.”

Roxie angled her face away and pretended to care about a rack of keychains. Hearts, glitter letters, fake license plates, and one ugly taco keychain suddenly became the most important objects in America because staring at them kept her from facing Zac.

Then Zac spoke.

”Who’s your friend?”

Roxie’s fingers tightened around the donut bag.

Ethan answered easily. ”Someone I know.”

Kyle leaned closer, trying to see under her hood. ”She from Fairmont?”

Roxie stared harder at the keychains.

Ethan shifted beside her. ”Yeah.”

Zac said nothing.

That was worse.

The silence stretched just long enough to make Roxie’s pulse jump.

Ethan stepped back first. ”We’re heading out.”

He caught her sleeve and gave her an escape before anyone else could speak.

Roxie moved fast beside him, past the ring toss, past the lemonade stand, past two kids fighting over a glow stick. When they reached the edge of the carnival near the parked cars, she yanked her wrist free.

”What was that?” she demanded.

Ethan started laughing. ”Your face.”

”I almost got caught.”

”You were wearing a mask.”

”He knows me.”

Ethan’s laugh faded a little. ”Yeah. I noticed.”

Roxie pulled off the mask and shoved the hood back. ”This was stupid.”

”It was a little funny.”

She tried to glare at him, but the image of Kyle asking if she was from Fairmont while she stared at a taco keychain hit her again.

Roxie laughed.

She did not mean to. It just came out, quick and breathless, and Ethan laughed with her until they were both standing near the fence like idiots.

Then a voice came from behind her.

”Roxie.”

Her laughter stopped.

Ethan’s smile dropped.

Roxie turned slowly.

Zac stood a few feet away, facing her.

”Take the mask off,” he said.