Gun of Ashes

Nikola was not an Alchemist, but after spending so much time with Merlin, although he always maintained a frightening rationality, when the temptation of Truth appeared, he would still waver slightly, just like that greed for knowledge, falling into a somewhat mad obsession.

But if things went according to Merlin’s expectations, he might never be able to glimpse that Truth he sought.

Old memories arose for some reason at this moment, and Merlin murmured.

”I don’t know why, but I suddenly thought of my teacher.”

Nikola remained silent on the side, unsure of how to respond, perhaps it was also that sense of awe stirring within him. He had been exceptionally included in the Perpetual Motion Pump, and for a long time, Merlin was like his teacher. Although not formally acknowledged, this was how Nikola felt.

Merlin began to talk to himself.

”Actually, when people live too long, those past events become blurry. Sometimes when you suddenly recall them, it feels strange, suddenly feeling like so much time has passed…”

He spoke, and tears bizarrely flowed from those hollow eyes.

”Merlin…”

Nikola was a bit at a loss, he had never seen Merlin cry, maybe he never even thought that someone like Merlin possessed the capability of crying. Sometimes, the true leaders of the Purification Mechanism are just like that, cold as if they were soulless stone statues, seemingly unaffected by the most brutal decisions that come their way like a feather.

Most of the time, it’s hard to even call these people human; Nikola thought they were a group of monsters wearing human skin… only monsters can counter monsters.

”Those were truly unforgettable memories, perhaps everyone’s fond memories originate from their school days.”

Merlin spoke softly, for most people, those fond memories might all concentrate in that period of schooling, sitting in classrooms attending lectures, making friends, having joyful companionship, and even experiencing that naive kind of love.

”I suppose it’s the same for you, isn’t it, Nikola? The life in the campus forever alluring, I was no exception, even though I am an Alchemist.”

He said, suddenly laughing, not waiting for Nikola to respond, perhaps not even expecting any response.

”If people are molded from clay, then that time should be when we are the softest, twisted into different shapes by the things we encounter; actually, my current form is greatly influenced by then.”

”My teacher influenced me a lot, the first thing he taught me was to wield a sword, taking me to kill various Alchemists… Of course, the cooperative Alchemists we let go. Do you think we are madmen?”

Merlin said, suddenly looked at him, tears streamed from hollow eyes, so bizarre, but Nikola felt an indescribable sadness.

”Actually, the concept that Alchemy is dead was proposed by my teacher, but initially, he also endeavored with the idea of saving Alchemy. He was not only an excellent Alchemist but a powerful Swordsman too. He believed the Alchemists had been fighting their own battles for too long, each being so greedy, unwilling to share knowledge with others, which would only lead to the further decline of Alchemists.

So I followed him across lands, using swords to persuade those stubborn old guys, trying to unite all Alchemists, piecing together everyone’s knowledge to restore the visage of Truth…”

Merlin’s words suddenly halted, seemingly swallowed by the tides of recollection, after a long while he slowly continued.

”But humans are just like that, laughable and pitiable, all we did was in vain, the once infinitely passionate teacher also fell into despair. Alchemy is dead; it is doomed to die, or it was meant to be like this, seducing humans forward, but leaving us with irreparable defects, only able to kneel before the gates of Truth, begging bitterly.”

Nikola was spellbound for a moment, looking at Merlin, feeling that kind of unknown for the first time.

Many knew Merlin harbored too many secrets in his mind, yet few ever thought about the secrets of Merlin himself, listening to all this, Nikola felt a certain melancholy. A fellow who didn’t shrink from using swords and blood to save Alchemy, only to propose the idea that Alchemy was dead in the end…

”Pursuit of Truth? It’s a fine ideal, but ideals are always replaced by better ideals.”

Merlin responded, his gaze hollow, expressionless, reverting to his usual self, he had always been like this, leaving all emotional expressions for others to guess.

”I agree with that saying, we are travelers walking on fragile ice, heading in the cold wind to a place we shall eventually reach, but this ice cannot bear our weight, along the way we must abandon something… This is just like our rationality, Nikola.”

Merlin looked at this young child, bearing a sickly face, with dark circles from long nights of work.

”We need to maintain our rationality, but humans are pitiable creatures, possessing seven emotions and six desires, so within me… at least within my heart, there is such a cliff.”

”Cliff?”

”The cliff of rationality, lazy Merlin, angry Merlin, laughable Merlin… one by one they walk to the cliff, pushed down by the rational Merlin, plunging into the abyss…”

The Alchemist spoke expressionlessly the most fearsome words.

One after another, Merlins lined up in progress, their silhouettes extended several kilometers long, walking blankly towards that cliff of rationality, leaping into the air.

”Cowardly Merlin, greedy Merlin, cowardly Merlin, they all died, perished in the valley beneath the cliff, their corpses piled into a hill, but that is still not enough, it’s still too far from our destination. For all of this, we still need to maintain rationality to walk further.

Thus to strangle more emotions.”

The voice was so calm, calm with a biting cold. This is a person’s self-destruction, and within this underground world, it seems everyone is like this, Nikola even forgot to breathe for a moment.

Countless people leapt from that peak of rationality, smashed into bloody pieces only to be buried by more corpses, wave after wave, continually accumulating, continually dying.

”Of course, sometimes the other Merlins don’t want this either, the complacent Merlin wants to give up, he wants to escape, the suffering Merlin cannot endure this, he howled and left… but they still died, killed by the rational Merlin, he is a cold, murderous demon, chasing everything but rationality.”

Merlin spoke, laughing, sometimes the line between rationality and madness is thin, even the most knowledgeable physician cannot sometimes distinguish it.

”For that noble ideal, by any means necessary, rationally killing all that might interfere with us, those excess emotions, thus stubborn Merlin, yearning Merlin, selfish Merlin, even the Merlin pursuing Truth, they were all pushed into the abyss.”

The rational Merlin stood atop that cliff, the howling wind blowing, his face icy holding a blood-stained sword, he believes he is doing something noble, but the sword in his hand commits the most barbaric massacre, like a frenzied lunatic.

The rational Merlin murmured repeatedly.

”Maintain rationality, maintain rationality…”

Only through maintaining rationality can he make the right decisions, only through maintaining rationality can he not be tainted by Demons, only through maintaining rationality can this terrifying long night see dawn.

Maintain rationality.

A light drizzle fell from the dome above, washing the blood-stained iron walls, neutralizing the pollution left by erosion, drizzling on Nikola’s body, and on Merlin’s body, the two did not speak anymore, just waiting quietly for all this to end.