The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix's Novels Also Desires Happiness

“Hehe, and here I thought you’d forgotten me. That really makes big sister happy.”

Phyllis lightly waved her small folding fan, her slender waist swaying gracefully. Every smile and glance carried the ripe allure of a mature woman.

But compared to that allure, the abyss-deep aura hidden beneath it was far more terrifying.

“The dignified Commander of the Royal Mage Corps, a Truth-Rank Grand Sorcerer... I don’t think I could forget you even if I wanted to.”

What the hell was with the “big sister” thing?

Wasn’t this woman from the same generation as his old man? He’d even heard they’d been classmates.

The situation was stronger than the man. Muen forcibly swallowed the word “auntie” before it could leave his throat and squeezed out a handsome smile instead.

“Since it’s Commander Phyllis... no, Sister Phyllis, then this should be easy to settle. Could you explain things to these people for me? I’m absolutely not the kind of person who’d commit crimes. They’ve clearly made a mistake.”

“No.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they haven’t made a mistake.”

Phyllis covered her mouth with a smile.

“The one they’re here to arrest really is Muen Campbell. And the reason I came personally this time was to ensure the arrest of Muen Campbell succeeds with one hundred percent certainty... which means you. So, little brother Muen... there’s nothing we can do. You’ll just have to suffer a little.”

“You’re... serious?”

Muen was completely dumbfounded.

“You made this much of a scene just to arrest me?”

“That’s right. We’re here to arrest you.”

A cold sensation touched his skin. Muen lowered his head and discovered that silver-white shackles had somehow already locked around his wrists.

So many Royal Knights. So many Royal Mages. And on top of that, a fully prepared Truth-Rank Grand Sorcerer...

Even for him, escaping under these circumstances with no warning had been nearly impossible.

If he truly fought desperately, maybe he could do it, but—

“This makes no sense. What exactly did I do that warrants this much effort?”

Muen still could not believe the reality before his eyes.

Had Belrand somehow fallen under the control of some horrifying existence during the few months he’d been away?

Like those horror novels where everyone still looked like the people you knew, except beneath those familiar skins was—

“Don’t misunderstand. Belrand is still Belrand, and we are still ourselves.”

Seeing through Muen’s suspicion, Phyllis let out a soft laugh.

“As for why we’re doing this, you’ll understand soon enough. For now, just behave.”

“No! I refuse! I didn’t commit any crimes, so what right do you have to arrest me?!”

How could Muen possibly behave obediently here?

He was a fine upstanding young man, a proud law-abiding citizen! He’d even helped old ladies cross the street plenty of times!

Heaven bear witness, if they accused him of being a scoundrel or a degenerate, he’d admit it. But calling him a criminal who did evil things—

“Arms trafficking.”

“...”

Muen’s expression froze.

“Collusion with criminal gangs.”

“...”

“Bribing state officials. For example, Ariel Bugaard, who was once appointed as a special investigation commissioner.”

“...”

“And also... distributing pornographic magazines.”

“Wait, that one was Pink Bear—”

“And now...”

Phyllis stared meaningfully at Muen.

“Do you still dare claim you’re innocent?”

“...”

Muen’s cheek twitched violently.

He was speechless.

Because if they were really going to count things this way, then technically speaking... he truly wasn’t innocent.

Aside from the pornographic magazine incident—which had merely been revenge against Pink Bear for publishing scandal stories about him—the rest were undeniably actual crimes.

“T-Those all had reasons behind them.”

After standing there blankly for a long while, Muen finally spoke with a bitter face.

“Can’t special circumstances be handled with special measures?”

“That isn’t something we can sort out right now.”

Phyllis turned toward the surrounding personnel and ordered coldly:

“Take him away.”

Two Royal Knights as fierce as wolves immediately rushed forward and seized Muen by the arms.

“Wait!”

Muen struggled furiously.

“You can’t do this! I want to see Thea! Let me see Thea! Thea will definitely understand me! I’ve bled for Thea! I’ve cried for Thea! I’ve even spilled for Thea—anyway, you can’t treat me like this!”

“Stop shouting. This is Her Majesty’s will. No matter how much you yell, it’s meaningless.”

Phyllis lightly patted Muen’s cheek, inwardly marveling at how much more handsome this face was compared to that damned man’s when he’d been young. No wonder it had Her Majesty so hopelessly captivated.

“Thea’s will?”

Muen froze.

“So all of this was...”

He turned back.

The griffin that had carried him here was leisurely gazing into the distance. It even seemed to be whistling from sheer boredom...

Damn it. You’ve got a rock-hard bird beak. How the hell are you whistling?

Look at me! Look me in the eye!

You bastard!

“So this whole thing was a conspiracy to lure me back and arrest me?”

Muen finally understood.

The problem was not that this scene before him was the beginning of some conspiracy.

The conspiracy had started the moment they tricked him into returning to the Empire.

The entire chain had been planned from the beginning!

“Who knows?”

Phyllis leaned close to Muen’s ear and whispered mysteriously:

“You should actually feel lucky it was me who came instead of that stinking bear. With his personality, he probably would’ve just knocked you unconscious immediately to save himself the trouble.”

“You people...”

Muen still wanted to say something, but Phyllis clearly had no intention of giving him the chance.

With a flick of her fingers, powerful magic was casually released.

Countless questions remained stuck at Muen’s lips, but before he could utter even a single word, the spell forcibly dragged him into sleep.

His consciousness sank heavily into darkness.

“All right. Proceed according to plan.”

After confirming that Muen was fully unconscious, Phyllis straightened up and clapped her hands lightly as she swept her gaze across the area.

“Take our young master of House Campbell... no, I suppose we won’t be calling him that much longer. Take him and properly proceed with the next step.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

...

...

“Sinner!”

“I’m not!”

“Sinner!”

“I’m not.”

“Sinner!”

“I’m not...”

“You are a sinner!”

Flames suddenly roared skyward, illuminating several figures that looked like demons.

Muen struggled desperately, only to discover he had been bound atop a towering pyre of stacked firewood. Not far away, expressionless girls carrying torches slowly approached him.

In unison, they recited Muen’s sins.

“You toyed with our feelings, yet refused to take responsibility for them. If you aren’t a sinner, then what are you?”

“I-I didn’t!”

Clang!

Something hard slammed violently into his back. The pain jolted Muen awake.

The horrifying scene vanished, replaced by pitch-black darkness where he could not even see his own hand. His consciousness remained hazy, leaving him momentarily unable to distinguish dream from reality.

Only after taking several deep breaths did he finally calm down slightly.

So that had been a dream.

Then where was he now?

Click.

The instant that thought surfaced, a blinding light suddenly illuminated the opposite side of the long table before him, forcing Muen to squint.

“Muen Campbell.”

After his eyes adjusted, Muen discovered a stern-looking man seated across from him. The man held a glowing magic stone in one hand and a pen in the other, writing something down while staring at Muen with a solemn expression.

“I have several questions for you.”

“...You can’t be serious. You’re actually doing the whole interrogation routine?”

Muen stared blankly, instantly sobering up.

He looked around and discovered he truly was inside what looked like a tiny black interrogation room. Terrifying restraints sealed him tightly into an interrogation chair, leaving him unable to move.

Muen shook the shackles on his wrists.

Solid.

And clearly enchanted with anti-magic properties.

Which meant that, at least right now, he truly looked exactly like a complete criminal.

“Sir! Brother! Honorable gentleman! I’m innocent! You’ve got the wrong person!”

Muen immediately shouted.

No matter what happened, crying injustice first was always the correct move.

“Whether you are guilty or not can be discussed later. Right now, there are several important questions that must be asked.”

The stern man remained completely unmoved.

“...Fine. Ask away.”

The situation was stronger than the man. Muen could only compromise for now.

“These questions are extremely important.”

The stern man emphasized the point again.

“I hope you answer seriously.”

“Gulp...”

Muen nervously swallowed.

Important?

Of course they were important.

The outcome of this interrogation clearly determined whether he would end up guilty or innocent afterward.

So he had to answer carefully. Carefully...

“I’m beginning.”

“Please do.”

“First question.”

The stern man paused.

“What is your height?”

“I have never done anything involving height-related—wait. Height?”

Muen froze.

“The important question you mentioned... was this?”

“That’s right. Answer quickly. Time is tight.”

The man tapped his little notebook impatiently.

“One... one eighty-five, I think? I’m not sure. I’ve never measured precisely.”

“And your weight?”

“Not sure about that either. I haven’t checked precisely. But after training these past two years, I’ve gained a lot of muscle, so it should’ve increased quite a bit.”

“Chest circumference? Arm circumference? Waist? Hips? Thighs? And your shoe size?”

“H-How would I know that?”

Muen grew increasingly bewildered.

“Do you seriously think I memorize those things?”

“Fair enough...”

The man nodded.

“That’s true. Those aren’t things a young master like you would personally remember.”

“Exactly! I even have dedicated tailors making my clothes. Why would I memorize measurements like that? Besides, my build’s gotten a lot sturdier lately, so memorizing old numbers would be pointless anyway!”

While replying, Muen’s brain rapidly overheated as he desperately analyzed the situation.

Body measurements...

These were the “important questions”?

What did that have to do with an interrogation?

Unless...

Muen suddenly shuddered.

Could it be that some real criminal who had committed a major crime had escaped after leaving behind evidence like footprints, handprints, or body data, and those traces had somehow matched him closely enough to make them suspect him?

The more Muen thought about it, the more terrified he became.

To actually imprison the son of a duke like this, regardless of the crime, there absolutely had to be deep hidden circumstances involved!

“Comrade! Sir! Your Excellency!”

Muen suddenly grabbed the man’s hand with teary eyes and spoke with passionate sincerity:

“You absolutely must verify those measurements carefully! You cannot afford even the slightest mistake! A tiny discrepancy could lead to enormous consequences! There absolutely cannot be any errors!”

“Rest assured.”

The man answered with equal gravity.

“We prepared thoroughly in advance. There will be absolutely no mistakes regarding the measurements.”

The moment he finished speaking, an entire group of people flooded into the room, making the already cramped chamber feel even more suffocating.

Without a word, they immediately began measuring every part of Muen’s body. They even temporarily loosened the restraints so he could stand up.

Being touched all over by a crowd of strangers felt absolutely awful, but Muen could only grit his teeth and endure it. In fact, he cooperated extremely seriously.

Because he now understood.

These measurements were directly tied to his innocence... and possibly even his life!

Very quickly, all the measurements were completed. The group promptly left again, leaving only the stern man and an elderly man with a gloomy face whispering quietly together.

“S-So? What’s the result?”

Muen asked nervously.

“...”

The old man glanced at Muen, whispered something into the stern man’s ear, and then silently departed.

“Sigh!”

The stern man pushed up his gold-rimmed glasses and suddenly let out a heavy sigh in response to Muen’s question.

“The situation... is rather severe.”