The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix's Novels Also Desires Happiness

The setting sun rippled across the river’s surface, scattering gold like falling leaves, shimmering and alive.

A crisp early autumn breeze rustled through the trees, the rustling leaves whispering the season’s first chill after a searing summer.

That chill carried a certain... cruelty.

“Hah! Be a good girl and hand over the valuables, won’t you?”

On a dirt road beside the riverbank, several burly men in beast-hide skirts had surrounded a frail young girl. Their expressions were vicious—wolves cornering a fawn.

At the head stood a man with a massive scar slashed across his face. He eyed the cute girl before him, lips curling into a twisted smile.

“If you behave,” he said, “we might just let you off easy. But if you don’t... heh heh... don’t blame us for getting rough.”

“I’m an adventurer.”

The girl gripped her magic staff tightly. Not a flicker of submission in her gaze.

“If you’re going to rob me, you better be ready to face the consequences.”

“Ha! Of course I can tell you’re an adventurer.”

Scarface burst into laughter, completely unfazed by her defiance.

“But you’re a mage, aren’t you? And from what I can tell, there’s not a trace of Battle Aura coming off you—so you’re a pure mage.”

“...”

The girl’s silence only made Scarface’s grin widen.

“If you had a companion, even one who could stall us for just a moment, we’d have already run as far as we could. But you’re alone.

A lone mage... That’s prime meat, wherever you go.”

His eyes scanned her staff, unable to hide his greedy glint. “That staff alone could fetch a pretty coin.”

“...Bastards.”

The girl instinctively shifted the staff behind her, backing away a few steps, trying to pull a fierce expression.

“You’re robbing someone in broad daylight. Aren’t you afraid a passing hero might step in and deliver some justice?”

“Hero? Ahahahahahaha—”

Scarface exchanged a glance with his men. They doubled over laughing.

“She’s actually this naïve?”

“Wh-What? Was I wrong?” the girl asked, uncertain now.

“Hmph. You couldn’t be more wrong.”

Scarface hefted the massive saber over his shoulder with a laugh both wild and condescending.

“Pretty girl, haven’t you realized it yet? We’re professional bandits.

Professional! You know what professional means?”

“Meticulous planning!” yelled Bandit A.

“Defined operational route!” said Bandit B.

“Target confirmed with precision!” laughed Bandit C.

“Absolute success guaranteed!” Bandit D chimed in, arms crossed.

“That’s right! That’s what professionalism looks like!”

Scarface spread his arms grandly.

“We scoped this entire area in advance. No one’s coming through here. That so-called ’righteous hero’ of yours? Not gonna happen.”

“...”

The girl’s cheek twitched.

It’s just a robbery—why are they making it sound like some high-IQ heist?

“But... but what if?” she said, still clinging to hope. “What if you missed someone? What if someone does show up?”

“What if?” Scarface raised his brow mockingly. “Well, the only place we didn’t thoroughly scout is that river right there.”

He made a show of rolling his eyes.

“Don’t tell me your ‘righteous hero’ is gonna swim up from the river? Don’t make me laugh. Is your justice warrior actually a mermaid or something—”

SPLASH!

Scarface’s words were cut short by the explosive crash of water.

Beneath the rippling gold of the sun-drenched river, a golden-haired man suddenly broke through the surface, half his body rising from the water.

Short, wet blonde hair slicked back, revealing a face strikingly handsome in a way that felt... unreal. Beads of water rolled down his sculpted chest, glistening against firm pectorals, catching the light like crystal pearls.

“Me... mermaid?!”

Bandit A’s eyes bulged.

“The hell?!”

Scarface smacked Bandit A across the head. “Look closer, dumbass! That’s a man!”

“Oh. Right.”

“I’m finally... free!!”

Still in the river, the golden-haired man threw his arms wide and tilted his head back toward the sky, as if embracing heaven itself.

“I’m finally freeeeee!”

His voice rang out, wild and unrestrained—like a soul long imprisoned now reborn into the sun. Even from a distance, Scarface and the others could feel the euphoria radiating from him.

“What the fuck is this?”

The man’s eyes suddenly locked onto the group on shore. That fixed gaze, intense and unblinking, was enough to make even Scarface—the man who claimed he wouldn’t flinch before a collapsing mountain—start to sweat.

The stranger began swimming toward them.

As the water shallowed and more of him emerged...

It became clear—

He was completely, ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) utterly naked.

“B-Boss...” Bandit B’s voice trembled.

“D-Don’t tell me we just ran into some kind of pervert.”

“Very possible,” Scarface muttered darkly.

If they really had stumbled across a pervert today—especially one this damn handsome—then their plans were going to need some adjusting.

He turned to the girl.

She was covering her beet-red face, shaking her head furiously.

Good. Not the ‘hero of justice’ she’d been hoping for.

“Hello!”

“Hello.”

“Hey there!”

The golden-haired man strode out of the water, not even slightly self-conscious about being stark naked, and proceeded to greet each bandit with a handshake, smiling brightly.

“Beautiful day today, huh?”

“Had lunch yet?”

“Bro, that outfit’s killer.”

“Say, do you know where we are?”

“Uh... this is...” Bandit C swallowed. “The wilderness west of Beirlande.”

“West side, huh? That means I drifted far enough... Anne shouldn’t be able to catch up now.”

“Just to be safe, I drifted for a full day and night...”

The golden-haired man—Muen—muttered under his breath.

After temporarily blinding Anne with the Illumination Spell, he’d leapt into the river and let the current carry him far away.

He had no idea how insane her “Young Master Sensor” might be, so he didn’t risk surfacing. He hid in the water for a full twenty-four hours, letting the river scrub all traces of his presence.

Thankfully, with Tier 2-level Aura protecting his body, he hadn’t frozen to death despite the early autumn chill, and floating downstream required very little effort.

Only when he was certain Anne couldn’t catch up did he surface at a calm stretch of river.

Right here.

He just hadn’t expected... to run into people the moment he came up.

And judging by the situation—it looked like a robbery?

Muen only needed a few seconds to realize that the friendly faces he’d been shaking hands with... were all bandits?

What kind of dogshit luck is this?

—Time to dip.

No weapon. Outnumbered. Trying to play the hero now would be the dumbest move possible.

“Haha, thank you all for the warm welcome. I’ll just be going now.”

Muen smiled politely, turned, and made a smooth attempt at escape.

“Hold it.”

He’d barely taken two steps when Scarface’s voice cut in.

“Hm? Something wrong, big guy?”

Muen turned back with an awkward smile.

“Heh... Kid, you’ve figured out who we are, haven’t you? And you think you can just walk away?” Scarface sneered.

Shit.

Muen’s smile twitched. “Don’t worry, I’ll act like I saw nothing.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I mean... we’re bandits. And when bandits see someone...”

Scarface’s eyes locked onto him, his words slow and deliberate.

“...they rob them.”

“Rob me?”

Muen’s expression went stiff.

He looked down at his utterly naked body, then looked back at Scarface.

“...You serious?”

“Heh heh... Who said I was after your money?”

Scarface dragged his tongue along the edge of his gleaming saber. His eyes burned as he stared at Muen.

“I’m robbing you of your virtue, sweetheart.”