The Yellow-Haired Villain in Soaring Phoenix's Novels Also Desires Happiness

Flick!

The lights suddenly snapped on, illuminating Muen.

They were harsh—so bright it was impossible to keep his eyes open. Not that Muen had a hand free to shield himself anyway. Both of his wrists were tightly bound to the chair.

A low din echoed around him. Countless shadowy figures sat in ascending rows like an amphitheater, whispering to one another, pointing at him, murmuring behind their hands.

Bang!

At the source of the light, a solemn judge struck the sacred gavel.

”Silence!”

”The trial for Muen Campbell’s disrespect toward Her Highness, Princess Celicia, is now formally in session!”

”The prosecution, representing Her Highness Princess Celicia, may proceed with the charges!”

Flick!

A new spotlight beamed down onto the plaintiff’s bench—where a nameplate reading Prosecution Representative sat. From behind it, Ariel Bugalde rose to her feet, pushing up her oversized black-rimmed glasses with a sharp glint in her eye, and began to deliver a merciless indictment of the defendant, Muen Campbell.

”Your Honor, allow me to formally read aloud the crimes committed by Muen Campbell on behalf of the plaintiff.”

”Proceed.”

”First and foremost, Muen Campbell is a complete and utter beast. Using the status of his engagement, he dared to invite Her Highness Celicia to dance with him—and even had the audacity to freely touch her delicate, pale hands! Disgraceful! Enviable! A desecration of Her Highness’s honor!”

”Secondly, Muen Campbell is a complete and utter beast! He dared to invite Her Highness Celicia to a closed room alone with him—utterly appalling... utterly dangerous!”

”And finally, Muen Campbell is a complete and utter beast! While alone with Her Highness, he dared breathe the same air as her—and as if that weren’t enough, he even slipped drugs into her tea and committed that act! Heinous! Enviable! Absolutely detestable!”

”In conclusion, Muen Campbell is a complete and utter beast! On behalf of the prosecution, I sincerely urge Your Honor to sentence Muen Campbell to death!”

”I see.”

The judge nodded with a completely impassive expression.

”The prosecution’s demands have been heard. Now then, what does the defense have to say?”

”I object!”

Muen struggled violently against his restraints.

”The prosecution is clearly emotionally compromised! This is personal! She’s abusing the courtroom to settle her own grudges!”

Bang!

The judge slammed the gavel down hard.

”Muen Campbell, it is not your turn to speak. I’m addressing your defense attorney.”

Flick!

Another spotlight fell.

Onto a frog.

”Ribbit!”

Mr. Frog, Muen’s defense attorney, stared ahead with wide bulging eyes and delivered his argument with solemn professionalism.

”Ribbit ribbit ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!”

”Hmm. Mm-hmm. Mmhmm mmhmm.”

The judge nodded thoughtfully. ”I see. So even the defense believes Muen Campbell is a beast?”

”I object! Why is my lawyer a frog?! And Your Honor, you clearly didn’t understand a single thing it said!”

Bang!

”Muen Campbell, if you disrupt this sacred courtroom again, I will pronounce your verdict here and now!”

Muen clamped his mouth shut with a grimace as his “attorney” finished croaking nonsense and then hopped off like it had fulfilled its duty.

Great. Now he didn’t even have a lawyer.

”We will now hear from the witnesses.”

Witness One: Anne, Muen Campbell’s personal maid.

”Yes, Young Master Muen is absolutely a beast. He stares at my body every day with those filthy eyes. Just seeing me in my maid uniform gets him all worked up. He even steals the stockings I’ve worn and hides them! As his personal maid, I must say—this is an egregious case of workplace harassment!”

Witness Two: Lorne Campbell, Muen Campbell’s biological father and the Duke of Campbell.

”Ah... To think a beast like that is my son. As a father, I’ve clearly failed. But rest assured, everyone—I no longer acknowledge him as family. From now on, my wife and I will focus on creating a new child!”

”As for Muen... Hmph. Do with him as you please. I won’t spare a thought for a beast like that.”

Witness Three: A fellow student of Muen Campbell.

”Muen Campbell is a beast! Muen Campbell is a beast! °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° Muen Campbell is a beast! Say it three times—it’s that important! Celicia is mine!”

”I see.”

After hearing the witness testimonies, the judge nodded in understanding.

”Muen Campbell, do you have anything else to say?”

”I object! The witnesses are clearly lying! And one of them I swear I just saw at the prosecutor’s bench! She’s clearly venting her personal frustrations and twisted desires!”

”Hmm. So you admit that you’re a beast?”

”I absolutely do not, you bastard! And aren’t we supposed to be judging me for a specific crime?! Is ‘being a beast’ even a real criminal charge in this world?!”

Bang!

The judge struck the gavel again, voice solemn and final:

”I hereby declare Muen Campbell guilty of Beastly Conduct! Sentence: Death. To be carried out immediately!”

”So that is a real crime?!”

Before Muen could protest again, the shadowy crowd in the gallery rose to their feet in unison, surging toward him like a tidal wave.

They hoisted him up, carrying him toward the execution site as they chanted in unison:

”Beast! Beast! Muen Campbell is a beast!”

Flick!

A spotlight blazed.

On a cold execution platform, the noose had long been prepared.

The scene shifted—Muen Campbell was already standing on the platform.

”No! I don’t wanna die! I’m still young! I haven’t even had a girlfriend yet! I haven’t finished watching Magical Girl Ko☆! I only just got to the second-to-last episode! Someone at least tell me if Kyupi dies or not!”

As the icy noose crept closer, Muen thrashed wildly.

”Muen Campbell. Do you truly believe... you’re not a beast?”

Suddenly, a cold voice echoed out.

Muen looked up.

Celicia stood nearby.

Everyone else—the judge, the lawyers, the witnesses, the crowd—had vanished without a trace. Only Celicia remained, standing under the light, her expression freezing cold as she questioned him:

”Muen Campbell. Do you truly believe you’re not a beast?”

”I...”

Not a beast?

No.

To her, of all people, he couldn’t say that.

Because he had done what he did to her.

”I am...”

Tears of regret welled in the corners of Muen’s eyes. He stepped forward and voluntarily slipped his head into the noose.

”That’s right. I am a beast.”

”I, Muen Campbell... am a complete and utter beast!”

...

”I am a beast!”

Muen shouted, bolting upright in bed.

And locked eyes with Anne, who was holding a medicine bowl.

”...”

”...”

Anne silently stared at him for a moment, then set the bowl down.

”I see. So the young master suffered some brain damage as well. Please wait a moment—I’ll go summon the doctor to examine you again.”

”I did not!!”