Transmigrating into the Genius Cannon Fodder’s Aunt

Chapter 96.3 – How to Handle Annoying Relatives (III)

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Xia Mian also realized belatedly that she was drenched in cold sweat.

Once sure there was no danger, Xia Hai’s face darkened. He went back into the courtyard, came out with a stick as thick as a child’s arm, and stomped off eastward.

Xia Mian quickly followed to pick up her own kid, while the others went home to wait.

When they reached the place, Xia Mian couldn’t help marveling—Well, these kids sure know how to play!

The fields there had indeed been irrigated, and the old water pits had turned into mud pits. Next to one was a narrow, somewhat steep slope. The kids, six or seven of them, had dug water and mud from the pit and smeared it over the slope, making it slick. They were using it as a slide, shooting down into the mud below.

As Xia Hai and Xia Mian watched, one child slid from the top, but near the bottom, something slowed him, and momentum sent him tumbling forward into the mud pit.

The sight reminded Xia Mian of battered fried chicken legs. The way the chicken would roll into the coating was similar to this. Except this kid was better; no outside help needed—he rolled himself a full turn in the mud, evenly coating himself from head to toe, hair included.

And in the pit, two other mud-covered kids were already waiting.

No wonder some passersby had gone to inform the parents—this was wild even by children’s standards.

Xia Hai and Xia Mian tried to figure out which one was Qiangqiang, but every “chicken leg”—no, every kid—was plastered head to toe in mud, hair and face alike, so there was no telling who was who.

Then Qiangqiang’s voice rang out: “Hahaha, Dagang, you fell in too! Watch this!”

“Cannonball, fire!”

The voice came from up on the muddy slope. Xia Hai and Xia Mian looked over and saw a mud-covered figure sitting at the top, holding a woven grass basket, pouring more mud and water onto the slope to keep it slick. He was the same color as the slope, perfectly blending in. If he hadn’t spoken, you wouldn’t have spotted him at first glance.

Xia Mian watched as the figure slid down the slope and launched himself into the mud pit with a dramatic dive, splattering mud everywhere, laughing wildly and without restraint.

Clearly, it was deliberate.

Xia Mian could feel Xia Hai beside her taking deep breaths, but he was still like an over-inflated balloon, ready to explode at any moment.

She quickly waved to Xiao Feng—she’d spotted him right away.

Xiao Feng wasn’t as wild as the others. He just sat at the edge of the mud pit watching them slide down. When Qiangqiang rolled himself in mud, Xiao Feng only pressed his lips together in a quiet smile. His legs were coated in a thick layer of mud too, and judging by what the earlier boy had said, Qiangqiang must have fallen in first, and Xiao Feng had gone in to pull him out.

Only for Qiangqiang to decide to go completely feral, making Xiao Feng’s rescue effort pointless.

“Xia Zhiqiang!!!” Xia Hai finally roared, loud enough to shake the ground.

Qiangqiang looked up from the mud pit, startled at the sight of his father, and scrambled toward Xiao Feng.

Xia Mian couldn’t help laughing at the sight. She quickly called out, “Xiao Feng, come here!”

The moment Xiao Feng had seen her, he’d already started running. Hearing her call, his little legs moved even faster. “Auntie!”

Looking at this rare mischievous side of him, Xia Mian regretted that she didn’t have a camera ready on hand. It would’ve been such a precious memory.

Xiao Feng had been a little worried at first, since it was his first time playing so wildly, but seeing Xia Mian’s expression, he relaxed instantly. While running, he explained, “Just now, Brother Qiangqiang fell into the mud pit.”

Xia Mian patted his head with a smile. “I saw. Did Xiao Feng help Brother Qiangqiang?”

Xiao Feng nodded. Xia Mian took his muddy little hand. “Come on, let’s go wash up.”

Over by the pit, Qiangqiang froze when his “protective charm” ran off.

Xia Hai planted his stick on the ground and bellowed, voice like thunder, “Get over here!”

Qiangqiang shrank his neck, knowing he couldn’t escape, and trudged forward. To delay the inevitable beating, he moved in tiny half-steps, which only made Xia Hai’s temper flare hotter.

Striding over with his stick, Xia Hai growled, “Are you coming on your own, or do I have to beat you over?”

And so, Qiangqiang was herded home like a duck, his father driving him forward with the stick.

Everyone they passed laughed out loud at the sight. In the mud pit, when everyone was covered, it hadn’t seemed so strange, but now, among normal-looking pedestrians, Qiangqiang’s appearance was hilarious.

Xiao Feng, holding Xia Mian’s hand, kept sneaking glances at his cousin, giggling from time to time.

Seeing how hard he was trying not to laugh, Xia Mian said, “Go ahead—one more laugh won’t make a difference.”

So Xiao Feng held her hand and laughed until he was stumbling.

Xia Mian couldn’t help chuckling too. Looking down at his legs, she asked, “Doesn’t it feel uncomfortable?”

Xiao Feng lifted one leg to show the cracked mud. “It’s tight.”

“Then let’s run home and wash up faster,” Xia Mian said, breaking into a jog with him.

When Qiangqiang burst into the yard, even though everyone had been warned, they were still shocked by the sight. Even mild-tempered Li Fang couldn’t hold back. “Xia Zhiqiang! Don’t you dare move! If you dirty the yard, I’ll beat you to death!”

Xia Hai waited for Xia Mian and Xiao Feng to come in, then shut the gate. Xia Chuan had already hooked up the hose, and as soon as Qiangqiang was in range, he started spraying. To add pressure, he covered the opening with his thumb, turning the water into a strong jet.

“Ahhh!” Qiangqiang shuddered all over from the blast of water and tried to turn and run, but his ruthless father stood behind him with the stick. “Where do you think you’re going?!”

The boy froze instantly, shrinking his neck and letting Xia Chuan spray the mud off him.

“Take all your clothes off!” Li Fang snapped.

So Qiangqiang stood pitifully on the stone slab in the courtyard, stripping himself bare, letting Xia Chuan wash him like he was scrubbing a statue.

Xia Mian was nearly dying of laughter. She held Xiao Feng and pulled off his shorts, leaving only a pair of underwear, then brought him over to stand beside Xia Chuan.

“Stand still, don’t move!” Xia Chuan warned Qiangqiang before turning to Xiao Feng, his tone suddenly much gentler. He loosened his grip on the snakeskin hose and first sprayed Xiao Feng’s calves to test the temperature. Xiao Feng shivered, then couldn’t help bursting into giggles.

Seeing he wasn’t afraid, Xia Chuan began rinsing him down in earnest.

After roughly washing off the muddy water, Xia Mian put the child into a large basin of water that had been left in the sun all day. Seeing Qiangqiang, it was easy to understand why Eldest Uncle’s household always set out two big basins of water in summer.

Xiao Feng sat in the warm basin, bathing while watching Qiangqiang jump and yelp under the strong spray of water. He held the edge of the basin, laughing so hard he nearly toppled over.

The adults were both exasperated and amused.

Once Xiao Feng was clean, Xia Hai grabbed Qiangqiang and dumped him into the basin for a quick rinse, then put clean clothes on him.

But that wasn’t the end of it.

Xia Hai lifted the naughty boy and wedged him into a big water vat, his face expressionless. “If you don’t scream, I won’t gag you. If you scream, I will. Your choice.”

Flat on his back, staring up at his father’s dark face, Qiangqiang shook his head frantically. “I won’t scream, no need to gag me.”

Xia Hai said nothing more, and Qiangqiang stayed stuck in the vat, looking dead inside as he watched everyone bustle about.

From time to time, Xiao Feng would run over to take a look at him, curiously touching the hand that hung down.

By dinnertime, Xia Mian suspected Qiangqiang would rather have taken a beating from his father.

Xia Chuan and Xia He set up the tables and stools in the yard, while Li Fang and Hong Juan brought out the dishes one after another. Qiangqiang immediately perked up, eyes burning at the sight of the plates. When Xia Hai came out carrying a big platter, Qiangqiang sniffed eagerly. “Fried cicada!”

Xiao Feng had liked them on his last visit, so last night Xia Chuan had gone out to catch a lot, and they were also one of Qiangqiang’s favorites.

Xia Hai set the plate down and picked up a towel. “Do I need to gag you?”

Qiangqiang quickly shook his head.

Xia Hai sat back down, and the family ate as if he weren’t there. Stuck in the jar, Qiangqiang stared longingly, gulping down saliva.

Xiao Feng took a bite, then turned to look at his cousin. After hesitating for a while, he scooped a few cicadas into his little wooden bowl, stood up, and cautiously took a few steps toward Qiangqiang.

Seeing that the adults weren’t stopping him, he stood beside Qiangqiang and ate.

Then, when the adults weren’t paying attention, he quickly grabbed one with his hand, tiptoed, and popped it into his cousin’s mouth.

Qiangqiang was so moved, he nearly cried.

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