Shut Up, Malevolent Dragon! I Don’t Want to Have Any More Children With You

Vol 9. Chapter 20: That’s Not How You’re Supposed to Use Your Ability, You Bastard!”

“Damn it—your ability isn’t meant to be used like this!”

The entire couple challenge would take place inside the shop.

Which meant there wouldn’t be any major events, or adventure-type project content.

And Leon guessed it would just be things like puzzle minigames.

Like that series of minigames he’d done with Isha back in Sky City.

He’d lost to Big Sister by a narrow margin that time, but this time was different.

This time, husband and wife were going into battle together!

As for those Brothers Dream—those two were even less of a couple, whether they were a real couple or not.

Whether it was tacit understanding, coordination, or anything else, they couldn’t even compare to him and Rosvisser—this original, genuine, authentic married couple.

So whether General Leon could snatch back the dignity he’d lost at Big Sister’s hands.

All depended on this battle!

Just looking at Old Con and Orion alone, Leon was afraid that if they kept playing brain games, even as an old veteran, Constantine still wouldn’t be his match.

And as for Orion...

That was hard to say.

All she could do was take it one step at a time.

After analyzing all the opponents, Leon held Rosvisser’s hand and walked into the shop.

“Welcome to our shop~”

The staff inside greeted them enthusiastically.

“Our shop offers all kinds of minigames, board games, and escape rooms, and we also have this month’s newest couples’ grand challenge. What would you like to play?”

“The couple challenge,” Leon said.

“OK~ This way, please~ First, register your names.”

After they finished registering, the staff led them through a long corridor and into the exclusive area for the couple challenge.

The first room didn’t have any special props—only a table, and on the table were three timers.

Just as Leon had thought, they were all puzzle-style minigames.

“This is right, this is right~

Daily life should stay a little farther away from all that killing and fighting~

The rules for the first stage of our couple challenge are very simple: in each pair, one person lies on the floor, and the other sits on their waist. Within the time limit, the couple with the most push-ups gets three points, second place gets two points, and last place gets only one point.”

The minigame rules really were simple.

They couldn’t even be called “puzzles”—it was pure physical strength.

And most importantly...

“There isn’t even a step to test whether you’re a real couple...” Rosvisser said softly.

It seemed not everyone was as distrustful of other people as Principal Wilson was.

Though if there really were such a test next, like holding hands or kissing or something, it would be a bit unfair to Isha and Old Con.

Rosvisser shook her head, pulled her thoughts back, then looked at Leon and said with a smile:

“Come on, husband. Show your manly might—it’s time for that fierce waist strength.”

Leon gave a low chuckle and dropped his voice.

“Whether my waist is good or not... shouldn’t you know best...”

Rosvisser’s face reddened, and she shot him a glare.

“Kaizer, have you ever tested how many push-ups you can do at most?”

On the other side, Isha asked.

Kaizer recalled a little, then said:

“I tried once when I was in my teens.”

Isha raised a brow and pressed with a grin. “Oh? How many?”

Kaizer shook his head with a serious expression.

“I forgot. I only remember I kept doing them from morning until evening, and in the end my sister was so hungry we only went home to eat.”

“...”

“Very good. This teammate is strong. Extremely strong,” Isha said, very satisfied.

And compared to the real married couple team and the sibling team, Constantine and Orion’s side looked much more normal.

Even though Constantine was a bit slow when it came to feelings, he still understood basic etiquette very well.

“Orion, in a moment, you can just sit on my back.”

Orion nodded. “Then I’ll be imposing on you, Mr. Constantine.”

“Alright, everyone~ If there are no problems, please go to the center of the room and get ready.

We’ll begin right away~” the staff member said.

Constantine, Leon, and Kaizer walked to the middle of the room in sequence, bent down, planted their hands on the floor, and assumed the push-up position.

The three women also got ready, standing beside their partners.

Rosvisser lightly lifted one side of her skirt—she didn’t stand on ceremony with Leon at all—and sat down directly.

Leon’s arms sank, his body pressed lower.

“Wife... are you P...”

“Shut up.”

Before the fat penguin syllable could even make a sound, Leon was cut off mid-cast by Rosvisser.

General Leon knew what was good for him—if he kept running his mouth, the mother dragon would probably sit down harder on purpose later.

Kaizer also prepared himself. Isha walked to his side. Kaizer stared at the floor, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw her high heels.

Her delicate instep was bare, and as Isha slowly lifted her skirt, her cute ankle gradually came into view as well.

Kaizer hurriedly pulled his gaze back, refusing to let his mind run wild, while silently chanting to himself:

“Do not look at what is improper.”

And just when Kaizer thought nothing would happen, a faint fragrance suddenly drifted in from beside him.

It was the pleasant perfume on Isha.

He turned his head—and a pair of beautiful red eyes was looking at him.

Isha had leaned forward, very close.

“What’s going on, Kaizer? It’s just push-ups—why do you look so nervous?”

Kaizer swallowed with a bit of panic, looked away, and in his fluster, found an excuse at random.

“Because... because this couple challenge might not be part of the work content...”

“Oh?~~ You’re worried the Tower Master will scold you?”

Isha smiled, reached out, and pinched Kaizer’s ear, which had turned red and was a little hot.

“It’s fine. Afterward, I’ll go explain it to the Tower Master. It won’t count as you abandoning your post without authorization. Since we’re already here, let’s do it, okay~”

Her tone and movements were very gentle, like she was teasing a child.

Kaizer pressed his dry lips together.

“Okay...”

Isha narrowed her eyes with a smile, then stood up straight, held up her skirt, and slowly sat down on Kaizer’s waist.

A soft sensation struck him, and Kaizer’s mind went blank for a moment.

But the lesson wasn’t over yet.

Isha lightly placed her warm palm on his back, then said softly:

“Take it slow, Kaizer. Understand?”

“Understood... Miss Isha.”

“Mmm~ Good boy~”

Old Con and Orion’s side was also ready.

Before the official start, Orion asked politely:

“I shouldn’t be very heavy, right, Mr. Constantine?”

Constantine thought for a moment, then said in an extremely serious tone:

“Your weight should be between fifty and fifty-five kilograms, and your body fat percentage is very low, so objectively speaking, you are not heavy, Orion.”

“......”

Orion forced a smile. “Th-That’s good...”

“Pfft—”

Leon couldn’t take it anymore listening from the side. He turned his head to look at Constantine and shot him frantic looks.

Constantine blinked awkwardly.

“What’s wrong, Leon? Was my analysis just now incorrect?”

“...Correct. Too correct, brother.”

Seeing Leon’s reaction, Old Con immediately realized he might have said the wrong thing again.

This time, his response was quick—he changed his tune at once and added to Orion,

“I think... you’re not heavy at all, Orion. You keep yourself in very good shape.”

That kind of not-so-datafied, generally accepted compliment—she only wanted to hear him praise her out loud.

Orion smiled, because Constantine had just praised her.

General Leon smiled too, because Old Con had finally said something human.

“Alright~ Everyone ready~”

The staff member picked up the timers on the table. “Start!”

At the order, the three men immediately began doing push-ups.

The women bobbed once on their backs, but they were sitting quite steadily.

“Game time is three minutes. Forty seconds have passed so far.

As of the fortieth second—” the staff member said from the side.

“Mr. Kaizer and Miss Isha are currently in first place, with a total of ninety-two.

Mr. Constantine and Miss Orion are second, with eighty-eight.

Mr. Leon and Miss Rosvisser are third, with seventy-five.”

No one could have expected that the real married couple team would be in last place.

Rosvisser lay down on Leon’s back in shame.

“What’s going on, husband? Where did your manly might revive to—why are we in last place?”

Leon replied while doing push-ups:

“Didn’t you notice our opponents’ conditions are stronger than ours?”

Rosvisser raised a brow. “Stronger how?”

“Orion... Her bone density and muscle density are very low, so her weight is also very low. Constantine won’t struggle at all carrying her for push-ups,” Leon explained.

“As for Kaizer, it goes without saying. He’s going hard right now—and in a bit he’ll only get harder and harder.”

“Damn it! Don’t use such a strong ability for carrying a woman while doing push-ups, you bastard!”

Rosvisser laughed helplessly.

“Then do you have any way to surpass them, husband?”

“Of course! I absolutely, absolutely will beat Isha!”

As the words fell, arcs of electricity began to coil around Leon’s body.

——

Nine Hells · Fourth Gate · Godspeed!

“Hey! You literally just said not to use such a strong ability for carrying a woman while doing push-ups!”