Shut Up, Malevolent Dragon! I Don’t Want to Have Any More Children With You

Vol 7. Chapter 2: You Used Time Magic for That?

Leon’s birthday had always been celebrated on the day when Sister Caroline first found him as a baby.

And later, from Hera’s memories, he saw it for himself—that moonlit night when she exhausted her magic to activate the transmutation spell, turning the Thunder Spirit Core into a Thunder Spirit form... the one that would become Leon.

So it made sense that this day had become his birthday.

For over thirty years, Leon had kept his birthdays low-key.

Back in school, he would always return to his master and mistress’s home. He’d only invite close friends like Rebecca, Sister Sharon, and Teacher Caroline—no one else. His master and mistress wouldn’t throw banquets either—just neighbors gathering for a warm, casual celebration.

It was Leon’s own request. He had firmly believed since childhood that birthdays were important, sacred even—and should only be shared with important people.

This “nostalgic birthday party” tradition had continued all the way until now.

No lavish banquet, no dancing guests.

Just the six members of their family.

That evening, Rosvisser and Noa were in the kitchen preparing dinner, while Leon and Moon sat on the carpet, opening letters and gifts.

“This one’s from Isha.”

“And this one’s from Aunt Isha.”

Moon opened a red envelope, holding the letter with both hands and reading aloud, word by word:

“Dear brother-in-law, I received your birthday invitation, but I’m terribly sorry—work has me too busy to make the trip. I’ve already sent a gift via courier. Wishing you a very happy birthday.”

She paused, then her eyes caught a tiny line at the bottom.

“Oh right, it’s already been two or three years since you last had a new child. You’d better get moving~”

Moon set the letter down and looked up with her wide, pretty eyes.

“Hey, Daddy. When are you and Mommy gonna make a new little sister?”

...

Leon’s eye twitched slightly. He reached out and patted Moon’s cowlick.

“Moon, making babies isn’t as easy as you think...”

“Making babies is hard? But our bio teacher said Mommy could make them all by herself!”

“...”

“So can Daddy make them all by himself too?”

“...”

“So if Daddy and Mommy work together, couldn’t they make two at once?”

Little Moon was getting more and more excited.

Leon finally gave up and changed the subject.

“Moon, let’s just keep opening letters and gifts, okay?”

“Okaaay!”

Next up was a letter from Constantine.

Honestly, Leon was a little surprised to get a response from the old veteran.

He’d thought that flamethrower of a dragon wouldn’t care one bit about birthdays.

Curious, he slowly opened the envelope.

What surprised him even more: the handwriting was surprisingly neat.

“To my friend Leon, may this letter find you well. Happy Birthday.”

Simple, clean. Not even thirty words with punctuation included.

But that “my friend”...

“Tch~~”

Leon smirked.

“Typical Dragon King.”

He carefully tucked the letter away.

Not because it was important—but because it would make an excellent weapon to mock Constantine in the future.

“My friend Constantine~”

Just thinking about it made his scales itch with joy.

Next, Moon opened another letter.

“Oh, this one’s from Grandpa and Grandma. They sent photos too!”

Not long after the Void invasion ended, Vida and Cecilia had left the Silver Dragon Sanctuary.

They said they’d spent the last few years searching for divine relics and weren’t used to staying in one place for too long. They wanted to go out and see the sights they’d missed.

The photos showed scenery from the southern region of the Samael Continent—land of eternal spring, gorgeous landscapes... a perfect travel destination.

Father and daughter kept opening gifts.

Soon, Leon found one from his master and mistress, sent from the Sea Dragon clan.

The gift was a miniature figurine of Aju—only palm-sized, but lifelike and exquisitely detailed.

The letter explained it was made by Mistress, using Aju’s shed fur, stuck together one strand at a time.

Her words: “So when you miss him, you can ‘see the dog in the object’ and ease your longing.”

Honestly, Leon realized three parts of his absurdity were innate... But the other seven were absolutely the result of his master and mistress’s influence.

His master handled the surface-level nonsense.

His mistress? She handled the emotional nonsense.

Not everyone could casually coin phrases like “see the dog in the object” and make it sound poetic.

By the time all the gifts were opened, dinner was ready and served.

The six of them gathered around the dining table. In the center of all the delicious dishes was the birthday cake Moon and Muse had made for Leon.

The cake featured a little figure—judging from the hairstyle and hair color, it was probably meant to be Leon.

Next to it were four big characters:

“Happy Birthday.”

And stuck in the cake were thirty-one candles, marking Leon’s thirty-first birthday.

“Daddy! This is the cake Muse and I made for you! Do you like it?”

Moon’s eyes sparkled like stars.

“I love it. Of course I love it. You two did amazing, making such a big cake.”

“We’re so glad you like it~”

Before the meal began, it was time for the family to give their gifts.

“Uncle Leon, I made you a flower crown.”

Xiaoxue walked over sweetly and placed the delicate crown around his neck.

Then she offered her birthday wish:

“Happy birthday, Uncle Leon~”

“Thank you, Xiaoxue. The flower crown {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} is beautiful.”

Next came Noa.

She walked over carrying a small gift box, her cheeks lightly flushed.

Clearly, the Overachiever Princess wasn’t very good at gift-giving.

“Dad... this is a... wrist guard. I made it for you.”

“A wrist guard, huh...”

Hearing that, Noa froze.

“Wait—Dad, you don’t like it?”

“No, no—it’s not that. I just thought you’d give me something a bit more... explosive, like you did in past years.”

Leon thought back to previous birthdays.

Noa’s past gifts had included thunder magic bombs, body parts from S-class monsters—claws, horns, scales—you name it.

Very explosive. Very wild.

So a wrist guard? This was... unexpectedly tame.

But maybe that was a good sign—his daughter was growing up. Her emotional maturity showed even in the type of gift she gave.

He opened the box. Inside was a pair of finely handcrafted wrist guards.

“Thank you, Noa. I love it.”

Noa exhaled in relief. “I’m glad you like it.”

Next was Aurora.

The Dragon of Chaos temporarily handed the camcorder to Muse, then pulled out a slightly worn gift box from under the table.

“What’s this, Aurora?” Leon raised an eyebrow. The box didn’t make a sound.

“Open it and see~” Aurora said mysteriously.

Rosvisser leaned in too, curious about Aurora’s gift.

In the soft sunlight, Leon slowly opened the box.

Inside... was a book.

Rosvisser chuckled the moment she saw the title.

Leon’s nostrils flared slightly. He looked at Aurora.

“The Stay-at-Home Man’s Guide to a Happy Middle Age”

“First of all: your dad is not middle-aged yet.

Second: your dad is not that domesticated.

Third: your dad doesn’t need a guidebook for life.”

Aurora just laughed and turned away. “You’ll need it eventually, Dad. ...If you don’t like that one, I have a backup gift.”

She pulled out another book, this one not even gift-wrapped.

Leon took it and read the title:

“How an Unemployed Married Man Can Start the Second Half of His Life”

“Kid genius, where are you getting these books?!”

Aurora winked. “Auntie gave me suggestions~”

“Auntie? What auntie? What do you mean you have an auntie?”

“It was Aunt Rebecca,” Noa said calmly.

“REBECCA!!!!!!”

Leon dropped his head onto both books with a long sigh, drowning in the despair of domestic life.

“Okay, okay, blow out the candles,” Rosvisser said.

Leon set the books aside.

He leaned toward the cake, closed his eyes, made a wish, then gently blew.

The flames flickered... nearly out... but then reignited.

Leon blinked. Blew again.

Same result—snuffed, then fwoosh, alive again.

“Wow, honey. Are you really hitting middle age? Can’t even blow out some candles?”

Rosvisser smirked teasingly.

Leon gave her a look.

“You try it, then.”

“Oh, I will. It’s just candles.”

Rosvisser cupped her cheek with one hand and blew gently.

Same thing: candles snuffed, then relit.

She frowned. “These candles... this good?”

“Your Majesty, maybe you are really entering middle age and can’t blow them out either,” Leon shot back with a smirk.

She glared. “No more sarcasm. We blow together. If we don’t blow them out, the birthday wish won’t come true.”

“Ugh, superstitions.”

Despite his complaint, Leon leaned in.

Even with both of them blowing together, the flames refused to die.

Leon pinched his lips thoughtfully.

“...Should I go dragon form and breathe once?”

“Get out.”

“Mom, Dad, we’ll help too!”

And so the siblings joined in—nervous but excited.

Leon, Rosvisser, Moon, and Muse all blew together toward the thirty-one candles.

Noa refused. “Too embarrassing.”

Aurora filmed the whole thing with one hand, but the candles still wouldn’t go out, even as the four of them got lightheaded from lack of oxygen.

Moon blinked, dazed, and slumped into Noa’s arms.

“Daddy... Mommy... these candles won’t go out...”

Leon, Rosvisser, and Muse flopped into chairs, exhausted.

Leon started to wonder... were these candles tougher than Atos?

Noa calmly observed. Then she looked at Aurora.

Aurora held the camcorder in one hand. The other... was hidden under the table.

Noa raised an eyebrow and grabbed Aurora’s wrist.

Too late.

A faint shimmer of golden light glowed at Aurora’s fingertips.

“...You used time magic... to keep the candles lit?”

Aurora scratched her head, grinning sheepishly.

“Well, Big Sis, resurrecting the dead is something only Teacher Safina can do. My time magic’s still weak—I can only manage reigniting candles.”

Noa let go of her hand and relit the candles for Rosvisser, who was dizzy from all the blowing.

After a short rest, the family finally began to eat.

But midway through the meal, Leon suddenly looked at Rosvisser.

“Wait—Your Majesty. Your gift. You didn’t actually forget, did you?”

Rosvisser raised a graceful brow and glanced sidelong at him.

With one hand supporting her cheek, she murmured,

“How could I forget your gift, huuusband?”

That “husband” sent shivers down his spine.

Leon leaned back and took a sip of water.

“Whatever you’ve got planned, it’s probably something really weird, isn’t it...”

“Oh no, not weird at all.”

Rosvisser smiled at him.

“It just takes a bit of effort... to unwrap.”

Leon swallowed his cake.

For some reason... he had a feeling... this was going to be the most unforgettable birthday of his thirty-one years.