Who Let Him Play Yugioh? (Re-Upload)

A true duelist should possess the composure of a mountain collapsing before them without batting an eye. No matter what the situation, they must remain unflustered and never let impulse override rational judgment.

Currently, Sato Koji had his eyes closed, taking deep breaths, repeatedly drilling this into himself—

—It is against the rules to hit people.

Because it was really hard to remember this rule when facing the brat in front of him.

With only two cards left in his hand and nothing he could do, Sato Koji could only grit his teeth and declare the end of his turn. Then it was Kira’s turn again, and the fun times resumed.

”Draw.” Kira drew a card from his deck.

At this point, Sato Koji’s field, both front and back, was empty—like a little cute girl in the night tempting someone to commit a crime. In this era of Duel Monsters, before the widespread menace of hand traps, an empty field meant streaking; the kind of situation where you could be taken down without a care in the world.

So Kira didn’t waste words, directly playing the monster card he’d just drawn.

”Attack position summon: Don Zaloog!”

A world-weary, one-eyed warrior appeared on Kira’s field, one eye covered by an eyepatch.

[Don Zaloog, ATK 1400]

Kira commanded, ”Don Zaloog, attack the player directly.”

The warrior obeyed, drawing two revolvers and firing away like a gunslinger. A stream of projected bullets passed right through Koji, the virtual impact making him stagger a half step back.

In Kaiba Corp’s latest Duel System, summoned monsters weren’t just 3D projections—they also had feedback devices to simulate physical impact. It wouldn’t truly harm duelists but provided realistic shock and a bit of pain to enhance immersion.

[Koji, LP 4000 → LP 2600]

Taking the direct hit, he took a deep breath.

Thankfully, it was just a measly 1400-attack monster—he could still handle it.

But then Kira smiled: ”Don Zaloog’s effect activates. When this card inflicts battle damage, I can choose one of two effects.

First, your opponent discards a random card from their hand.

Second, send the top two cards of your opponent’s deck to the graveyard.”

Koji’s eyelid twitched violently.

”Wait, don’t tell me you’re... you’re going to...”

His face twisted, panic creeping in, his body instinctively backing away.

”Correct, I choose the first effect,” Kira said. ”Erase another card from your hand.”

As he spoke, Don Zaloog raised his revolver.

Bang!

One of Koji’s last two cards in hand now had a projected hole in it.

Gritting his teeth, Koji sent another card to the graveyard, his eyes nearly bulging out.

Now he only had one card left...

It wasn’t the only duel he’d ever lost in his life, nor was his opponent the strongest he’d ever faced.

But it was the duel where he most wanted to hit someone.

He hadn’t been able to play a single card—could you believe it?

”Set two cards face-down. Turn end.”

Kira set two more cards in his back row.

This time, when Koji saw those two abyssal face-down cards, his attitude changed completely from earlier contempt—he could barely breathe.

Again? Please, no!

I’m begging you, just let me play a card...

Even the spectators were surprised by how things were unfolding. The students on both sides looked at each other, all with faces of utter confusion.

What kind of duel was this?

It just felt weird. Really weird.

Looking for fast-paced offense and defense, a clash of power? Nope, only a guy out to mess with his opponent’s head.

Hoping for flashy summons and big monsters? Nope—just the satisfaction of totally tilting the opponent.

Up to now, one side hadn’t managed to play a single card, so there was no strategy to analyze.

This bastard hadn’t summoned a single monster at first, and wasn’t even attacking for damage—his every move seemed to silently declare: I don’t have to win, but you’re not playing Duel Monsters today.

”Kouhai, this isn’t how you duel.”

Koji tried to maintain the image of a gentle upperclassman, but his twitching facial muscles and trembling voice betrayed him.

Kira just smiled politely, gesturing, ”Please, it’s your turn to play Duel Monsters.”

But as everyone knows, Yu-Gi-Oh! is a cruel game—so long as one side can play, that’s enough.

Reluctantly, Koji raised his Duel Disk again.

”Then, it’s my turn...”

He clenched his teeth.

Only one card left in hand—and it was an equip spell. He couldn’t even summon a monster. Useless.

This was the draw that would decide his fate.

But a true duelist would never back down. As the legendary Duel King Yugi Muto once said: Believe in your deck, and your deck will respond.

He believed in his bond with his deck!

Sato Koji placed his finger atop his deck, breathing deeply and silently praying.

Please! A Level 4 monster!

He drew with a flourish, full of soul and style.

The moment he saw the card, Koji’s eyes widened in disbelief, nearly bursting out laughing.

He’d done it!

Not only had he drawn a summonable monster, but it was Gagagigo—ATK 1850, Level 4. Just enough to surpass the popular 1800 ATK beaters on the market, by a mocking 50 points. The strongest low-level monster in his deck.

His deck had truly responded to his heart!

But just as a grin tugged at his lips, ready to mount a comeback—

—he looked up and saw that Kira had flipped yet another face-down card in his back row.

[Trap Card—Dragged Down into the Grave, Number Two.]

[Activates during opponent’s draw phase: the drawn card is sent straight to the graveyard.]

Sato Koji: ”...”

”According to Dragged Down’s effect,” Kira said politely, ”please discard that card.”

Koji almost bit through his lip. With a twisted expression, he tossed his crucial Maji-Gire Panda into the grave, looking down to see he was left with just that lonely equip spell.

”Turn... turn end,” he declared in frustration.

”My turn, draw.”

Kira glanced at his drawn card—another trap.

His hand was overflowing with traps, but the opponent had nothing left to set off. So he added it to his hand and casually gestured: ”Don Zaloog, direct attack.”

[Koji, LP 2600 → LP 1200]

”Don Zaloog’s effect activates again. Of course, still the first effect.”

Kira pointed at Koji’s last card.

”Discard that one, too.”

Watching his last card go to the graveyard, Koji suddenly wished he’d set it earlier. It wouldn’t have mattered much, but at least he’d have kept it.

His mental state crumbled; he’d completely forgotten about that.

Though, honestly, it didn’t affect the situation.

”Turn end.”

”My turn, draw.”

This time, Koji drew, but didn’t even look at the card—he just stared straight at Kira’s back row.

As if asking: No more traps, right?

I’m drawing, okay? I really drew?

Kira smiled and waved him through.

Finally, after barely surviving the draw phase, Koji nearly cried with relief.

He’d never imagined, not even in his dreams, that drawing a card could be such a luxury.

When he finally looked at the card he drew, his spirits lifted.

[Malice Doll of Demise—Level 4, ATK 1600.]

Usually just an average monster, but right now, 1600 ATK could save his life. Don Zaloog had an annoying effect, but only 1400 ATK.

Finally, he could take down the bastard that had been making him discard every turn!

Koji couldn’t wait: ”I summon ’Malice Doll of Demise’ in attack position, and attack ’Don Zaloog’! Hit him, kill him, die die die—!”

”Don’t get so worked up, buddy, relax—dueling is supposed to be fun,” Kira reminded him cheerfully.

”And don’t rush, it’s not the battle phase yet. Because just now, I activated a trap card.”

He gestured to a face-down card in his back row.

”Trap Card—Compulsory Evacuation Device. Return a monster on the field to its owner’s hand.

I’m returning ’Malice Doll of Demise’ to your hand.”

The trap activated, and the axe-wielding doll barely got its footing before turning into a card and flying back into Koji’s hand.

Koji: ”...”

That was his only card.

And he’d already used his normal summon for this turn.

So, he was out of play again.

What would happen next was obvious. He could do nothing but end his turn, then that damned Don Zaloog would shoot at him again, making him discard his last card.

Wait—actually, he wouldn’t even get that far. His LP was only 1200; one more hit and he’d be done.

But in the end, Kira didn’t finish Koji off by reducing his LP to zero.

Because, before the next turn arrived—

Sato Koji, in a fit of rage, tried to physically attack his opponent during the duel, but was quickly restrained by the surrounding students and disqualified, losing the match by default.

PS: Bro, got ouplayed.