Beware Of Chicken

The world slowed to a crawl. The look of mounting horror on her brother’s face filled her eyes.

It was like when, during a party at the provincial capital, a man had addressed the head clerk’s mistress as his wife. This was that movement all over again. The stunned silence. The dawning realization… then the explosion that was sure to come. The woman’s strident voice… as well as the husband of the mistress’s howl of outrage.

Later, what Grandmother had referred to as “a shit show”, eventually led to an assassination—

And her brother had just done the same thing.

But with cultivators.

It was an insult beyond insults, worse if perhaps it revealed something Master Jin had wanted to keep quiet. They may have possibly brought damages to their Honoured Customer. Grandmother would have both of their heads.

If they even survived the next few moments.

Chyou woodenly turned her head back to the woman who was very much not a maid. Chyou had been so distracted by the Spirit Beasts she hadn’t noticed the perfect poise and presence of Hong Meiling. She was certainly no heavenly beauty, yet the aura that surrounded her was hard and commanding.

Hong Meiling felt like her grandmother.

Her eyes were hard gemstones, sharpened to razor edges, and gleaming in the light of the house as she stared at Bo’s horrified face. Chyou quietly cursed her brother, and every single one of her male ancestors for producing him, even as she got ready to kowtow and beg for her life. Her stomach churned unpleasantly as the woman examined them both, eyes shifting from one to the other, seemingly trying to decide whether to destroy them or not.

And then she giggled.

It was a light titter, surprisingly adorable coming from her. The oppressive aura that emanated from Hong Meiling faded, then there was just a woman.

“I’m sorry, but both of your faces—!” the woman got out before starting to laugh in earnest. That was followed up by a chuckle from the man who looked a bit like a monkey, who then also started to laugh.

Even the beautiful woman… who looked frighteningly similar to the images of the Demon Slaying Orchid, Cai Xiulan, and considering her luck probably was, as she had been seen in the company of Master Jin, snorted and shook her head.

Her brother started breathing again as he shot up from his seat and bowed so quickly he slammed his head against the table.

“Please, forgive this Guan Bo for his stupidity! He meant no insult, yet his blind eyes have caused shame upon himself and his family name!”

That just got the woman and the man to laugh harder.

“People were giving Xiulan a hard time, so I stopped correcting them when they asked if she was my wife,” Master Jin interjected, confirming Chyou’s suspicions as to the identity of the ‘mistress’. “Really, it’s not Bo’s fault.”

Master Jin’s face was twisted into a compassionate wince as he clapped Bo on the shoulder.

Her brother raised his head, staring up as Master Jin defended him. He looked like he was about to cry, and Chyou let out the breath she had been holding, her heart still pumping in her chest.

“It is fine, Guan Bo. I forgive you. I had heard some of the rumors in Verdant Hill about Jin’s ‘beautiful wife’ anyway.” The lady of the house waved off the insult, and Bo bowed his head again.

The woman still had some measure of mirth in her eyes as she sat beside her husband.

“Senior Sister isn’t the type to be upset over honest mistakes,” Cai Xiulan said, and the part of Chyou that was still her grandmother’s child filed that bit of information away. Her brother was still breathing hard even as the Lady smiled at him. Master Jin, in his magnanimous kindness, poured Bo a cup of tea, to calm his frayed nerves.

They settled in once more, and Chyou’s heart finally started to slow from its frenzied beating.

Really, two scares in one day? She would say it was bad for her heart, but she actually felt quite… invigorated? No, she felt good. Satisfied.

“Okay. Introductions. This is my wife, Hong Meiling,” Master Jin said as Lady Hong gave them a short bow. Chyou felt her mind restart as the name clicked into place. Hong? Like the village they had just passed through and the Elder who had them as guests under his roof?

“This is my good friend, Gou Ren, who was instrumental in growing this year’s crop.”

The monkey-ish looking man nodded politely. His eyes didn’t linger on her for even a moment, and she immediately discarded several strategies that worked with other young men. She decided on a course quickly, smiling professionally at the young man and giving him a bow of deference. If he had aided in growing the rice, he was a necessary contact.

“Next is Pi Pa, who does most of the ledgers and aids us with finances,” Master Jin continued, introducing the pig as casually as one would any functionary. It took her a second to parse the name, as Master Jin slurred his speech strangely when he said it..

‘Young Sir. Young Miss. A pleasure,’ the pig greeted with the diction of a proper court lady, her bow elegant and refined despite her unusual form.

“Ri Zu is Meiling’s apprentice…” he said, gesturing at the little rat near Lady Hong, “and this is Wa Shi,” Master Jin declared, tapping a jar beside the table that Chyou hadn’t noticed. A carp popped his head out of the water and nodded in their direction. “He’s here to go over all the calculations.”

Master Jin’s speech was formal as he introduced his household to them. He sounded more like a merchant than a cultivator, matter of fact and business-like. She could almost say brief, as he didn’t give their full job titles and descriptions, but his manner indicated he was certainly close with all of them.

“And last is Cai Xiulan,” Master Jin siad. He looked like he was about to say something else, a slight smile on his face, before he just shook his head and returned his gaze to them both. “I thought we could discuss things here first, then have some dinner. That is, if you’re okay to start, Bo?”

Her brother took a calming breath and rolled his shoulders, his years as a merchant reasserting itself. Bo looked up with a nervous smile.

“I’m fine, Master Jin. Do not worry yourself on my account,” he said, “And I once again apologize for any discord my assumptions have caused, Lady Hong.”

Her brother then cleared his throat as he finished getting out the scrolls and, after hesitating for a moment, handed one of the first set over to the pig. “This is a preliminary assessment of all sales and profits,” he stated, as he stood up, preparing to begin.

Master Jin nodded as the pig daintily opened the first scroll.

“First, on the maple syrup…”

Wa Shi pretended he was going through the numbers as the Boss’ guests talked. He had finished going through them all a while ago, but there was no sense in letting people know he could work faster… that way just led to Pi Pa trying to hand him more work.

The best thing to do was to slack off most of the time, then if somebody really needed it one could “beat expectations” by being “faster than normal”.

Truly, Wa Shi was the most brilliant dragon to ever exist.

He glanced back at the two merchant people. They were strange folk… But they were in the business of transporting food. Thus, they were interesting, slightly.

It was mildly impressive how much work went into transporting the Boss’ rice. It would end up ten times the price at the end, but adding the costs of transport that had been outlined plus a healthy profit for the Trading House, the deal still looked pretty good.

Wa Shi absently memorized the math formations they used, tinkering with the numbers they gave. These merchants were skilled at mathematics, and Wa Shi acknowledged them. There wasn’t really anything he could see off hand to improve with raw number crunching, as the boss called it, so he turned to look back at his scroll as they went into a more in depth explanation for Bro Gou. He was sitting in so that he would have some experience with these matters… The Boss didn’t want any of his underlings getting taken advantage of, so Bro Gou had to learn.

He watched as they brought out another page with warehouses, and continued on with their plan to expand into Green Stone Forest, Howling Fang Mountain, and Yellow Rock Plateau, which finally concluded their presentation.

The Boss nodded his head and glanced at Pi Pa, who had just finished her work. Wa Shi took a look over her shoulder and nodded his approval. Her speed left much to be desired, but she had gotten everything on the “cost analysis” paper right. It was just a lot of simple operations, but when one wasn’t as magnificent as Wa Shi there could be errors, so he peeked to make sure.

‘Everything appears to be in order, Master,’ Pi Pa decreed.

Which was his cue to gaze at the much larger set of numbers like he was still trying to study them.

‘All their numbers are right, boss,’ he said after a moment.

The Boss looked at The Missus for her approval. She nodded.

“Then everything appears to be in order. 1,500 bags of Gold Grade rice for sixty silver a bag.” The Boss confirmed, placing his seal at the bottom of the page, and finalizing the deal that would allow others to taste the best food this world had to offer.

Which was disappointing really, Wa Shi would not get to eat as much of it… but others had to taste things too, if only to bask in the superiority of Fa Ram’s ingredients.

“Thank you for your continued association with our Azure Jade Trading Company, Master Jin.”

Both of the Boss’ new underlings bowed to him, and Wa Shi considered going out. His job was done, after all, and there were rocks to bask on!

And Chun Ke thought he found a new kind of nut. It was cause for celebration!

“Now… onto the topic of your suggested venture south, my sister will explain,” the one called Bo said, gesturing to the cold-looking red-haired woman. She reminded him a bit of Pi Pa. No nonsense… and boring.

Until Bo mentioned the expedition. She seemed to swell, sitting up straighter. Her eyes took on a gleam, and she came alive as if she had been jolted by one of Wa Shi’s bolts.

“After more research… we do believe that your expedition to the south is possible, Master Jin,” she began, and the Boss leaned forward, curious. Wa Shi looked around to see if anybody else knew what she was talking about, but everybody else seemed just as confused.

“There is a route to the south, albeit one rarely traveled, but I managed to obtain several sea-charts and the diary of a captain and crew who survived the attempt. It’s considered dangerous, but so far, from preliminary investigation, it seems to be extremely promising.”

“Really? It’s looking that feasible? How much time are you thinking to prepare?”

“…two years, perhaps a year and half, if we focus fully on such an endeavour.”

The boss looked stunned at that.

“And just what is that expedition for?” the Missus asked, looking curiously at the young woman.

“There are several spices Master Jin wishes to obtain…” Guan Chyou stated, and that caught his attention completely.

‘…You’re going on an expedition to dangerous lands for food?’ he demanded.

Chyou looked at Wa Shi with an offended air. Seemingly outraged that he would dare ask.

“Yes. For food! Cacao pods, that Master Jin said can create a wondrous sweet dish! Vanilla, a flavour that he described as sublime! A hundred spices, and a hundred more luxuries await! Of course, for food!” the woman demanded of him. “To go to the south and find these great treasures… Is that not worth the danger? Do you know how much people will pay for these treasures? What we could do?!”

Guan Chyou’s eyes were full of fire. He could see it in her eyes. She wanted to taste these wonderful things, and was willing to brave any amount of danger to get them.

In that… she had Wa Shi’s utmost respect. He bowed his head before her impassioned declaration.

There were still more treasures upon this earth. He was not yet strong enough to taste the moon… and if the Boss wanted these things bad enough to send this expedition that this Guan Chyou waxed poetic about; then they must be truly delicious indeed.

And the more people with access to these things… the more dishes they would create, wouldn’t they? Had not Wa Shi crafted delicacies, like pond reed ice cream, after witnessing the Boss create his own? Had he not mixed the leftovers into glorious Everything Soup? Others surely could not match his genius… But they too should have the chance to craft wonders.

“Magnificent! I, Wa Shi, approve of it! Tell me more about these southlands, Guan Chyou!” he demanded.

The woman ruffled around in her pack for a moment, before drawing out a beaten up looking sheaf of papers.

“Captain Dulou Dalu says, here, upon first landing—” she began.

Guan Chyou hit the bed face first. She was completely and utterly exhausted… but at least she had kept it together and made a good impression.

She had somehow ended up reading half of an explorer’s journal to a bunch of cultivators… as they sat and listened raptly, after calling in more animals… And the Young Mistress of the Misty Lake Sect as well.

And then Cai Xiulan had cooked dinner for them.

It was strange. It was surreal. It was something…. wonderful.

After dinner they presented their gifts, which had been well-received. Bags of seed for Master Jin and several items for… his wife, Hong Meiling. Luckily, they had decided to forego the dresses and instead bring various useful items for an expectant mother… Cloth, a comb, and the most expensive piece, a silvered mirror.

Finally, they were escorted to a guest house of sorts for the night by Chun Ke. It was a one room little shack that still managed to feel homey. Despite its humble nature she looked out through the small window out into the farm and felt… at peace.

Chyou sighed, exhausted from the day.

“Well… that went pretty well, if I do say so myself,” Bo declared brightly, looking at her from his bedroll. Always able to spring back from his mistakes, her brother.

He sounded entirely too chipper.

“The heavens favour children and fools.”

Her brother just grinned. “The luck of the heavens is worth being a fool sometimes, no?”

Chyou grumbled into her pillow, but in her heart she could feel the thrill of it all. Adventure, the South, it would surely happen.

“They were more interesting than I thought they would be,” Meiling mused from her place on the couch, with her legs across my lap, as she stared at her reflection in the fine mirror we had gotten. “They recovered well, even if they did look like they were about to lose it when we sent them off. Are you sure they’ll be fine? The new guest house isn’t finished.”

“It’s finished and furnished enough,” I said with a shrug. The little guest house was another addition because we were running out of beds. A lot more people were sleeping in my house than I had originally planned for, and even my old house was full up. At this rate, I’d have to build an entire boarding house… but for now, I had kicked out something for visitors to rest in.

I, on the other hand, grinned at the bags of seed on the table. Corn, peas and beans from Green Stone Forest. I could already able to taste corn on the cob—as well as hopefully popcorn. I wondered if we could do a recording crystal movie night? Make something up, act it out, then have a little contest? Yun Ren would definitely be game.

“I think I quite like them,” my wife decided, as she put down the mirror and sat up. “They were nice… and good entertainment. I should see if I can get a copy of that journal…” She leaned into me as she thought, her eyes going round the room, before landing on Xiulan.

She grinned.

“They also had another interesting story…” Meiling started smirking at Xiulan as she crawled along the couch towards her. “Something about a wife…? Maybe there was some truth to their words? You two have been going out at night together to the forest—” Meiling gasped dramatically and raised a hand to her forehead. “Oh no! You truly are going behind my back for a secret tryst!”

Xiulan’s head slowly turned to Meiling as the smaller woman leaned across her lap, poking her in the side.

“How dare you, Cai Xiulan! After all I’ve done for you~”

Xiulan stared at me. I nodded in solidarity.

Xiulan grabbed the floppy, half-finished witch’s hat that was on the table, and shoved it over Meiling’s face, as I pinned her legs, poking a finger into her side.

“You are a dirty old man, sister,” Xiulan said calmly, as Meiling’s muffled giggles came out from the hat.