Beware Of Chicken

Funnily enough, it all started on a whim, not that long ago. Or perhaps it was fate? A strange man, who looked a bit like a swindler, with his sharp, fox-like eyes, and a rather bruitish, monkey-looking fellow, holding up a sign. Normally Liu Bowu would have walked passed, but what he saw had intrigued him. The large portraits, so lifelike. The extra background options.

Bowu smiled.

His sister already had a portrait of Bowu in her personal quarters, visible right whenever somebody walked in. Their father’s eyes tightened every time he went to check on Xianghua’s training, or so he was told.

So he decided to get a larger, more lifelike portrait. A bit of a joke gift for Xianghua, and his own petty rebellion.

It had been a bit of a shock to learn that the Image Master’s helper was the same man his sister had met… and by all accounts, found attractive.

The man looked like a monkey! But his sister had always had a bit of a strange taste, and from what he could tell, this Gou Ren wasn’t too bad a guy.

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Another chance meeting as he climbed the stars of the Earthy Arena at the Dueling Peaks.

Two men who didn’t wince at his leg, or treat him like a complete invalid. Gou Ren let him make his own way, under his own power— he just let Bowu set the pace.

It had been the closest thing to friendship he had had in a long time, sitting there commenting on the cultivator battles.

And then… His sister. Rou Tigu versus Liu Xianghua. It had been called the best match of the tournament, the unparalleled bout. Where two members of the Initiate’s Realm had fought like those in the Profound; disciples showing as much power as the Elders of the Azure Hills.

It would be spoken of for generations, they said.

Things changed quickly. His father, exiled. Bowu, reinstated into the sect.

Both small things, compared to the rat who claimed that his leg could be healed.

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“Yeah, Bowu is going to come with us. My wife will take a look at his leg.” Master Jin said simply to the Elder of the Misty Lake Sect, Bingwen. He was not asking the man, he was informing him.

Bowu couldn’t help but be a bit jealous of Master Jin. How he could just say, and it would be so.

Elder Bingwen spared a glance to Bowu, something in the man’s eyes. But he capitulated immediately. “Of course, Master Jin. Take good care of our Young Master. He is very important to us.”

Bowu nearly snorted. He wasn’t stupid. He knew all they wanted was his Steam Furnace. If Xianghua could fight like she was in Profound Realm with his artifact, what could the Elders do?

A force multiplier beyond compare for their sect. Even though she had lost to Tigu, that was seen as a powerful showing, when many thought Tigu was Master Jin’s daughter.

The man who came in and told everybody what was happening.

The man who, on first seeing Bowu’ drawings of the Steam Furnace, claimed that Bowu was a genius.

Validation.

“Come and visit any time you’d like, Xianghua,” Master Jin continued. “You’re welcome whenever.”

His sister’s face was a polite mask, but Bowu could feel how smug she was underneath it.

“Of course, Master Jin!”

Master Jin nodded, and left Bowu to pack.

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They at first traveled light; a small cart for Bowu, while the rest of them ran. Bowu had been mortified when the powerful Master had taken up the cart like he was just a beast of burden— but Gou Ren had just shrugged.

“That’s just how Jin does things,” the man who had captured his sister’s heart, and Bowu’s friend, said.

Master Jin hadn’t even mentioned it, hadn’t even spoken much of himself, but nevertheless,. Bowu learned a lot on the road about what kind of man Master Jin was. Not just through the words of those who spoke of him, but through his actions.

Master Jin was everything his father would have said was unbecoming. Easy to laugh. Uncaring of decorum. Kind.

Worthless for a cultivator, who must appear to others as the mist: formless and unable to be grasped, until it was time to reveal one’s intent.

It bought Bowu no small amount of dark amusement that Master Jin eclipsed the bastard utterly.

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The journey away from the Dueling Peaks was over far faster than Bowu had expected it to be. He kept thinking it was some strange dream that he would wake up from.

But it did end, at the end of a road.

At first, Bowu imagined some manner of hidden realm when they arrived at Master Jin’s home. But instead, it was simply a farm.

A farm with a dragon, who could turn into a fish, and who begged Bowu for his table scraps.

The first few days were spent in a mostly bewildered haze.

He was out of place. It was a familiar feeling really.

But what wasn’t familiar were so many people trying to make him feel welcome.

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Nobody expected anything of him. He was a guest. Lady Meiling (who smirked whenever he called her that), checked his leg daily and gently walked him through what she thought was wrong with it. Ri Zu was always in attendance, helping her Master.

Miss Cai took the time to make sure he was comfortable.

Big Bro Gou Ren and Tigu gave him a tour of the property.

He saw strange things. Strange things like Miss Cai, the Flower of the Verdant Blade Sect, working the kitchen like a maid. Chun Ke the boar finding him nuts and berries to eat, little gifts that tasted delicious.

Miss Pi Pa arriving in the mornings with a batch of folded clothes for him.

Talking with a snake about glass composition.

Big Bro Gou Ren and Master Jin renovating a house, just for him.

Treated as an honoured guest and healing patient, none on the farm expected him to do anything.

But Bowu himself was getting a bit restless.

Then one day, a week after they had arrived, Master Jin called him to the forge. The massive drop hammer was always a sight. Bowu had seen one before, in Grass Sea City. The giant thing was always just so amazing looking—but the Misty Lake’s rivers flowed too slowly for any of them to work there.

Master Jin was sitting down and staring at a piece of paper. His eyes were focused and intent.

He stared at it for a moment until finally, he sighed.

“Man, I have no clue what I’m doing,” he said, shaking his head as he noticed Bowu. “I was trying to make something to show you what you could do with steam, but I’m pretty bad at this.” The man admitted it easily and held out the page.

“A wheel?” Bowu asked, curious. The drawing looked a bit like the drop hammer, no, exactly like the drop hammer, but there was a strange tank on one end—

Bowu’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, the base mechanism for that—” he pointed at the drop hammer. “But no need for a good river. Just water.”

Using steam to turn the wheel, instead of water? That… was useless for a cultivator.

But not for a mortal. Not for Bowu.

“You said you liked tinkering, right? I’ve got lots of half-baked ideas, but I need somebody who will help me make them. Yao Che is good, but he has his own things to look after. What do you think? Could you give me a hand?”

For the first time in his life, somebody beside his sister asked for his help. Not because he could make Master Jin more powerful, because he couldn’t, but because he considered it interesting.

There was only one answer Bowu could give.

Master Jin grinned… and gave him a helmet, painted yellow.

“Well! First is the safety lecture!” he said cheerily. “Always wear your helmet when operating heavy machinery—gotta protect your melon!”

It was a strange lecture—but Bowu listened diligently, because Master Jin said he would revoke Bowu’s drop hammer privileges if he didn’t.

So he wore his yellow hat and filled his ears with wax.

The sparks the drop hammer made were beautiful as it slammed down.

He utterly mangled the first piece of metal.

The village blacksmith, Yao Che, was utterly flabbergasted that the only thing Bowu knew how to make were pipes and tiny screws.

But… the older man was very much eager to teach him.

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Liu Bowu woke up next to a pig with a slight headache. A reedy sounding rooster let out a call, and Bowu frowned. It sounded wrong. Not powerful enough. Almost insultingly quiet.

He took in a breath and smelled the slight scent of berries and flowers.

Pi Pa, today. Chun Ke smelled more like warm earth.

He knew two pigs apart by smell, because he slept with them so often. His mother’s face was the one that invaded his thoughts this time, looking vaguely disapproving.

Vaguely disapproving, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

Bowu smiled, in a good mood, and took stock of himself.

He wasn’t in the delightfully soft bed Master Jin and Big Bro had made for him. Instead, he was a bit sore from where he was laying on wood. A familiar feeling. He’d fallen asleep often enough on his desk while tinkering with the Steam Furnace that he knew the feeling all too well.

Instead, he was fairly certain he was on the floor.

He concentrated, trying to remember the night. Bi De, Tigu and Miss Cai—Xiulan, she had told him to call her Xiulan— had come back from whatever they were doing, and Master Jin had offered them a drink.

Bowu flushed as he remembered the sound Xiulan had made when the mead hit her tongue. It was good, but really? He had heard purer sounds coming out of a brothel, the one time he and his sister had passed by one in the city.

He shook his head slightly to clear the thought.

Then, after that, Big Bro Yun Ren had come back, looking extremely amused about something, and then he had a cup, which meant everybody else had a cup…

And Bowu had snuck one as well. One couldn’t hurt, and it did taste good, but everything went hazy after that. He did remember getting carried out to a beehive, so that everybody could praise it and the bees within.

And then Xiulan sang a truly spectacularly vulgar song about a donkey as Lady Meiling, the only sober person in the room, egged her on. Pi Pa had been dancing to it, standing on her hind legs and pirouetting surprisingly gracefully… if occasionally stumbling.

Bowu had fallen asleep after that.

He finally opened his eyes, wincing a bit at the light, and looking around.

The first person he saw was Lady Meiling, who had a massive grin on her face and a recording crystal floating beside her that was chiming softly.

Bowu’s eyes drifted to what she was grinning about.

Xiulan was laying on her back, drooling and snoring as she used Yun Ren as a pillow. Her shirt was completely open and her face was covered in doodles, as was Yun Ren’s.

The fearsome Blade of Grass had Tigu in a headlock, shoved into a… well, a compromising position as she muttered and cuddled her. Tigu looked mildly annoyed as she was already awake, but beyond a few minute wriggles, seemed resigned to her fate.

“She’s very grabby when she’s drunk,” Tigu muttered petulantly.

Meiling just smirked, because Cai Xiulan had caught another person.

Master Jin had his head in her lap… technically, for Xiulan’s legs were also positioned in a devastating chokehold around the Master’s neck. Master Jin simply continued to snore though, so… Bowu guessed it was fine?

He had several pieces of male anatomy drawn on his face, and Bowu guessed Lady Meiling was the culprit, judging by the brush in her hand.

She glanced over at Bowu and grinned.

“Awww, you woke up! You were next!” She said cheerfully, and Bowu sighed with relief. Not like getting the ink off was hard, but he had no desire to have his face recorded like that.

He winced and held his head as he tried to get up.

“Go and drink some water, okay?” Lady Meiling told him kindly. “I’ll make something for the headache if it stays with you.

Bowu nodded, staggering to his feet. He glanced out the window and saw a rust-red mass sticking out of the river like a strange rock formation. Bowu hobbled over to the kitchen. He grabbed a cup and paused as he noticed a pair of feet sticking out of an “oven tray” as Master Jin had named them.

The regal Bi De was on his back, with his feet sticking straight up in the air, shoved together with Miss Ri Zu and Yin the rabbit supporting him by the sides.

Yin was wearing his vest and Ri Zu wore his necklace. All of them were covered in half-eaten vegetables.

“So that’s why he sounded quiet today.” Bowu muttered, before going into the river room.

Wa Shi, in his fish form, greeted him, resting against the stone edge of the floor, with one muscular arm sticking out of his side. He had a cold sausage in his mouth and was holding a cup of fruit juice in his hand. The snake beside him simply drank his cup of water.

“...morning,” Bowu said.

The fish smirked, another arm forming with a pop to salute in greeting. A stream of water rose from the river and poured into Bowu’s glass.

His thirst quenched, he managed to get back into the main room and sat down at the table. Lady Meiling had gotten everybody else in order, though most were still asleep. Master Jin had woken up and was staring amused at his wife’s handiwork.

There was just one who was missing.

“Where’s Big Bro?” Bowu asked, looking around.

Lady Meiling pointed up.

Bowu stared blankly at the man tied to a ceiling beam.

“...I’m going back to sleep,” Bowu decided.