When a Blade of Grass Wants to Become Immortal

Chapter 213: Chapter 209: Interstellar Deserted Star Farm Woman 20

The livestream camera followed Ji Xiaosong as she walked to the vegetable garden, and a surging wave of green, dotted with multicolored fruits, filled the screen.

”Holy crap, is this a botanical garden? Is that an eggplant tree growing next to a lemon tree?!”

”Top right! The grapevines are wrapped around a bayberry tree and they’re both bearing fruit!”

”We need a panoramic view! Host, pan the camera, ahhh!!!”

”Is that purple tomato bigger than a fist for real?”

Ji Xiaosong silently switched to a panoramic view so everyone could see clearly from any angle.

She stood on her tiptoes to pick a cucumber. Finding a tender one, she plucked it and immediately started eating.

”She’s eating it! She’s eating it! She’s eating it without testing it first?”

”Heavens! Isn’t that a bit too reckless?”

”If I lived in a yard like this, I wouldn’t care if it was poisonous or not. Just looking at all this makes me feel so peaceful and content.”

After finishing the cucumber, Ji Xiaosong took out a scanner for everyone to see.

”See? My scanner shows that the cucumbers here are completely free of toxins. I know this is unprecedented in the interstellar era, but that’s okay. It’s happening now.”

She held up two more cucumbers. ”Alright, I’m heading back to the kitchen to make smashed cucumber salad. This is a common household dish from Ancient Blue Star. It’s super simple to make, so come and learn with me.”

For a moment, the bullet chat was surprisingly unified:

”I’d love to learn, but I don’t have any cucumbers.”

”Exactly. Nowadays, you have to be paranoid about everything you eat, worried you’ll just keel over and die. Host, are you selling the stuff from your garden? If you are, I’m willing to buy.”

”To the person above, can you even afford it?”

”For real. Even plants and animals with low toxicity levels sell for astronomical prices on the Main Star. How could ordinary people like us ever afford this stuff?”

Ji Xiaosong saw this comment and said with a smile, ”I see a lot of you want to buy the fruits and vegetables from my garden. Don’t worry, I’ll be listing some of them tomorrow. The prices won’t be too high; they’ll be affordable for the average person. But there’s one condition: my products will have a purchase limit. Each person can only buy a certain amount for themselves. I won’t sell anything beyond that.”

When everyone heard that Ji Xiaosong would be selling these items, the bullet comments instantly flooded the entire screen.

”I want the cucumbers in your hand!”

”Cucumber assassin, back off! Leave two for me to pass down as family heirlooms!!”

”Interstellar citizens rejoice! We can finally stop surviving on nutrient solution!!”

”SHOCKING! Streamer openly selling immortal dew on her live broadcast!!!”

”Is this for real? If it is, I’ll sell my dad’s hovercar to get some.”

”Everyone, type ’crying’ in the chat! Ancient Blue Star cuisine...”

”Layoff warning for all scanners! I recommend the host establish an Interstellar Food Safety Administration.”

”Is it too late to change my name to the host’s and inherit the garden?”

”Just tried smashing air to pretend it was smashed cucumber. My roommate asked why my crying smells so delicious.”

”Reporting in! I’ve discovered the secret to getting rich! Anyone want to team up and raid her garden?”

”Host, have you considered doing an immersive eating stream? I could soak in that ASMR for three days and three nights.”

”Broadcasting from a garbage planet. Can I trade a junked mech for a single cucumber tendril?”

”My mom asked why I’m on my knees licking the screen. That crunching sound is making my soul leave my body.”

”Recommend activating the Starship’s shields when the purchase link goes live. I’m afraid we’ll crash the stream.”

”Tears, they’re shooting out. So the ’fruit and vegetable freedom’ mentioned in ancient texts wasn’t a myth.”

”As someone allergic to toxins, I’m applying to be the gardener! I have my own photosynthesis skill!”

”Does anyone get me, folks? The way she snaps that cucumber looks like she’s unsheathing a holy sword.”

”All units, attention! We’ve got a tomato spirit at three o’clock!”

”Just checked the star calendar. Turns out I was born 500 years too early, WAHHHH.”

”The biggest scam of the century: the host claims this is just an ’ordinary’ vegetable garden.”

”I’ve set ten alarms. I’m sleeping in my Star Network shopping cart tonight!”

”My single-for-twenty-years hand speed is ready for battle. Don’t even try to compete with me!”

”I suggest buying insurance for the cucumbers before listing them. This is an interstellar cultural heritage item.”

”I suddenly understand why the Ancient Blue Star People wrote *Peach Blossom Spring*.”

The bullet comments on the screen continued to scroll by endlessly, but Ji Xiaosong wasn’t looking anymore.

She walked into the kitchen. Not long after she finished preparing the smashed cucumber, the braised pork was finally ready to eat.

Before, it was just cooked through. Now, it was fragrant enough to fill the mouth, and so tender it melted on the tongue.

She placed a plate of braised pork and a plate of smashed cucumber on the table, then dished up a bowl of white rice. SLURP...

The camera zoomed in on a celadon plate: amber-colored pieces of braised pork trembled, oozing a caramelized glaze, while the smashed cucumber, like shards of jade, was still glistening with Ice Crystals.

Ji Xiaosong picked up a piece of meat with her chopsticks and rotated it 360 degrees for the camera.

”Everyone, this was simmered for a long time using the ancient method of caramelizing sugar...”

Before she could finish, a drop of savory juice fell onto the rice.

[Bullet Chat]

”Does that meat have a soft-focus filter on it?!”

”I’m reporting her! The host is passing off liquid gold as meat juice!!”

”My phantom limb is reacting! My electronic tongue is twitching!!”

”Just poured my nutrient solution down the toilet. From this day forward, my stomach only recognizes Boss Ji!”

”Close-up on the rice, please! Why the hell is it shimmering with a pearlescent glow?!”

Ji Xiaosong then scooped up the juice-soaked grains of rice and continued, ”The lychees that the Imperial Concubine Yang Guifei ate, as recorded in ancient texts, probably had this same level of translucence.”

Suddenly, she popped the whole spoonful into her mouth and her eyes narrowed in pleasure.

[Bullet Chat]

”That squint! She’s launching a delicious-ness beam attack!!”

”ASMR nuke! Three thousand fireworks just exploded inside my skull!”

”I was getting a nutrient solution IV at the hospital, and my heart rate suddenly shot to 120. They’re rushing me to the ER.”

”Somebody call the Ancient Culture Preservation Department, quick! This is a living, intangible cultural heritage eating broadcast!”

”Has anyone noticed the host’s chopsticks are made of zitan wood with mother-of-pearl inlays?”

The livestream camera did a close-up on the frosty, crystalline texture of the snapped cucumber. Ji Xiaosong suddenly lifted the plate closer to the microphone.

[Bullet Chat]

”That crunch! It’s the sound of the galaxy shattering into ice!!”

”The cucumber assassin is murdering my eardrums!”

”A blessing for us sound-lovers! I’ve already set it as my Starship’s morning alarm.”

”Just jammed my scanner into the screen. It’s showing my happiness levels are off the charts.”

”Quick question: if my optical computer gets water damage from me licking the screen, does that count as a workplace injury?”

Ji Xiaosong then dipped a piece of cucumber into the meat juice and said, ”The Ancient Blue Star People called this a carb bomb.”

She took a bite, which made a crisp, cracking sound like shattering puff pastry.

[Bullet Chat]

”This food tasting has turned into a total frenzy!”

”My stomach is screaming! Requesting access to the sensory sharing system!”

”As a newly-awakened Plant-type Spiritual Power Superpower User, I can confirm the cucumber is screaming for help.”

”The host’s cheeks puff out like a hamster’s!”

”Who’s setting off tear gas in here? This scene reminds me of my grandma’s apron.”

Ji Xiaosong held up her half-empty White Jade Bowl and chuckled. ”Actually, the best part is the crispy rice crust from the firewood-cooked rice.”

As she broke apart the golden-brown crust, a puff of golden steam rose from it.

[Bullet Chat]

”Is that steam a phoenix nirvana special effect?!”

”The cracks in the rice crust look like a star chart!”

”I’m on the Main Star chewing on synthetic bread, and I’ve already cried through three filter papers.”

”Please enable holographic sensory sharing! I’d trade ten years of my ex’s life for one bite!”

Suddenly, a DING-DONG sound echoed, and the smart butler projected a holographic announcement: The first batch of fruits and vegetables will be available for preorder in three minutes.

Ji Xiaosong licked her fingertips and smiled. ”Alright everyone, click the lucky bag in the bottom-right corner now. I’m giving away fresh cucumbers to ten lucky winners~”

[Bullet Chat]

”The way I’m frantically tapping my screen, I look just like one of those Ancient Blue Star gacha addicts.”

”The boss is so generous!”

(The screen was flooded with rainbow-colored, flashing text.)

”If I don’t win, I’m taking my mech to go camp out in front of her garden.”

”I propose we list this garden as an interstellar wonder. I’ll pay double for the admission ticket.”

”Attention everyone! A rainbow just appeared behind the host! It’s the immortal energy from the food!”

At that moment, a rainbow-colored light was indeed refracting through the mist at the edge of the screen.