The Forsaken Hero

I went still, my tail freezing mid-twitch. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. My breath vanished, forced from my lungs like I’d been punched.

”Aurle,” he repeated softly, gazing out at the shimmering lake, his eyes sad. His ears drooped, and he sighed, lifting his hand from my thigh and clasping it in his lap, leaving chills where his fingers had been.

His eyes turned to me, a light, gentle gray. I’d seen those eyes before. And his tail...it had brushed against mine and lingered, pressing against me. Soft and warm. Such a beautiful, silky red color, tipped with white. This wasn’t the first time I’d felt it.

The shape of his face, the way his ears twitched when he was happy, even his very scent...everything. How could I not have seen it before? Maybe I had, and simply been unable to believe it.

”You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said, his brow creasing worriedly. Just like hers always had.

”Her name was Aurle? I whispered, my voice barely audible. I knew it was; I’d heard him before. But even if I hadn’t, I knew the answer.

His ears pricked alertly as he studied my face. His hand rose, cupping my cheek, brushing a tear from the corner of my eye. I should have pulled away, should have felt alarmed by such an intimate gesture, but...I closed my eyes, another tear joining the first.

”Xiviyah,” he said quietly. Intensely. ”Does that name mean something to you?”

I nodded, unable to speak past the lump forming in my throat. He hesitated a heartbeat, then pulled me toward him, hugging me. I let him cradle me against his chest. His arms trembled. He wasn’t crying, but his voice was unsteady as he asked.

”How? Where? Is she still...?”

My hand shook as I lifted it, pointing forward. At the lake. His brow furrowed, and then he gasped, his ears going stiff.

”You mean...?”

I nodded again, gripping his shirt with both hands.

”You found her? Here?” His hands ran through my hair, shaking as they pushed me back just far enough that he could look at me. I tried, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. The pain was sharp, too hot, too raw.

My lower lip trembled as I whispered, ”S-she saved me. S-she...she protected me...and because of me, she...”

I broke off in a sob, burying my face against his shirt. My tears wet the fabric, my sniffles deafening in the silence.

”He wasn’t a kind noble, was he,” he whispered, horror dawning in his voice.

I shook my head. My tail coiled against him, but I didn’t even notice. ”He...he wanted me. To break me, to have me. I...I said no, and he...he hurt her instead. Because of me.”

”Xiviyah...”

I gripped his shirt, knuckles white. His hands tightened on me painfully, digging into my flesh. I looked into his eyes, her eyes, pleading. Hate me, shout at me. Hurt me. Anything.

His eyes searched mine, filled with anguish. I watched them darken as every spark of hope he’d managed to save over the years was extinguished all at once.

”I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I choked, sobbing into his chest. ”I’m sorry!”

”She’s...dead? Aurle?” The question slipped out ragged, so soft I almost didn’t hear.

My sob caught, and I forced myself to nod.

A shudder passed through him, and I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to watch the storm on his face. The torment I had brought him.

He stood suddenly, all but dropping me to the ground. I winced as the rocks scraped across my knees, tearing and bruising. He stood motionless, his hands clenched at his sides, the first glimmerings of a tear in the shadows of his eyes.

”Rylam?” I rose, uncaring for the blood trickling down my legs. My hands ached to reach for him, but my tail curled as I hesitated.

”How did it happen?” he asked, his voice eerily calm.

I flinched, my hand gripping my skirt. ”I-I don’t know how. He took her as he always did, but this time, he...” I took a shaky breath. She didn’t come back.

That wasn’t true. I had held her lifeless body in my arms. Her blood had crusted my dress, and I had wet her face with my tears. But she was gone. I couldn’t bring myself to tell more, to explain that he’d torn her ear from her head, and scarred her flesh. That he had her naked and bleeding, torn inside and out, dying as he took his pleasure from her. That was a burden I alone had to carry.

Rylam turned abruptly, his hand resting on his sword. A shrill screech rang out as he drew it, staring at the blade. The polished steel reflected his face at him. The silence stretched, punctuated by the splash of waves and my ragged breaths. My fingers trembled, clutching my arms. I looked back at my Guard, wishing they hadn’t given us quite so much privacy.

”I swore that I would see her again,” Rylam whispered, his voice hollow. ”That I would take her from her chains, no matter what it took.”

I stared at him in mute horror. The blade shimmered, as did the tears on his cheeks.

”But...that can’t happen, can it? If only...if only I’d known. And what was it all for? All of our suffering, our pain. Why?”

The hilt rattled in his hand. It slipped from his grasp, clattering on the rocks, half-submerged in the shallows of the shore. He dropped to his knees, tears running down his face.

”Why fight, why struggle? If one as pure as her couldn’t reach the light, what hope do any of us have? I couldn’t even be there. She must have been so scared.”

”Rylam...” I stared at my hands trembling in my lap, blurry with tears. ”She didn’t fight so she could have light. She fought so I could. She shed a hundred tears so that I might learn to smile.”

”Your smile? For my sister? How is that fair? How could you accept that?”

His bitterness stung like a slap across my face. My throat tightened. My fingers curled, clenching into fists.

”I didn’t ask her to. I didn’t want her to. But she didn’t listen. And she...she never blamed me. Even in the end, I felt...she wouldn’t have chosen any differently. She lived in the dark so I could stumble into the light.”

”And then you turned back anyway. You could have found peace, yet you chose war. You march with demons, you slaughter cities. You wage war on the very world she loved.”

”You’re right, I returned to the darkness. Because that’s where she was, when she found me. Aurle was the one star that shone for me when all others had gone. She alone led me to the dawn.”

”Then why? Why did you return? She set you free...”

”She’s gone, but I refuse to let her light die with me. I sniffled, shaking my head. ”She gave me her hope, her future. I can’t keep that gift for myself. I won’t hide with her light when there are so many more who wander, alone and afraid. When they look up into the night, wondering if the stars have forsaken them, this time, I’ll be the one that has stayed.”

One star in the night sky. One small, flickering light in a sea of darkness.

”Why did she do it?” he whispered, his hands balling into fists. He looked up, his ears quivering. ”She could have been happy. She could have been free.”

”I don’t think she could have,” I admitted, folding my arms tightly, my tail moving restlessly. ”Aurle could never have been happy abandoning those who remained.”

”Those who remain?” He shook his head, letting out a forlorn sigh. ”What better way to describe us, you and I. But if that’s true, then there’s no sense regretting her choice. Mourn, yes, but I could never dishonor what she fought for. If you want to use her gift to shine in the dark, as she did, then I’ll stand with you. I think we’ve hidden here long enough, don’t you?”

”No one needs a star that only shines during the day.”

I held out my hand, and he took it, offering me a faint smile. My thought was to drag him to his feet, but he stood on his own, which was fine. I wasn’t strong enough to pull him up anyway. He held my hand for a few moments, gazing into my eyes, before he nodded sharply.

He drew a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me, then picked his sword out of the water, flicking it once. Water droplets shimmered through the air, sparkling in the sun. He slipped it back in its sheath. I dabbed my eyes, holding it in both hands. When I tried to give it back to him, he held up his hand.

”Keep it. I’ve no more tears to shed. And I think you need that more than I do.”

I looked down at the handkerchief, actually seeing it for the first time. It was plain linen, white with a simple pattern sewn across it. In the corner, a little red ”A” had been embroidered. I gasped, covering my mouth.

”It is,” he said, answering my silent question. ”I returned home after I was free, to see if she’d come back. That was the only thing that had survived the war, the fires. A gift from our mother. I’ve held it long enough. I think she’d want you to have it.”

I clasped the handkerchief to my chest, blinking away a fresh wave of tears. ”Thank you, Rylam. Thank you. I...I always wanted something, but...there was nothing.”

”You’ve carried her spirit long enough. I don’t know what it would mean to you, but as her brother, I say thank you. Don’t let her death weigh on you any longer. If she never blamed you, I won’t either. The fault rests on my shoulders, and I’ll gladly carry that burden. Now,” he said, giving me a crooked smile. It was warmer than before, with weight that held real feeling. ”We’d better get back to the keep.”

I nodded, turning with him to leave. We had a valley to defend.