The Forsaken Hero

It wasn’t long before we were back on the ground level, entering a wing of the manor I hadn’t seen yet. The polished floor shone, reflecting the light from the wall-mounted crystal lamps. Lighter wood panels lined the walls of the west wing, each one inscribed with decorative golden runes. My memory of them was still fuzzy, but these were simple enough, alternating between a rising sun and a symbol for joy or song, fitting for the name of the house.

”This wing was recently renovated,” Anrinth said, noticing my curiosity. ”The manor was built some fifteen hundred years ago. When Lord Sunsinger decided to renovate, they added a touch of color and depth.”

”It’s beautiful,” I said, reaching out to touch one of the runes.

A jolt of electricity shot up my arm. I jerked back my hand, hiding it behind my back as the servant let out a low chuckle.

”They’re enchanted with a substantial amount of mana, intended to survive another thousand years, but still,” he added, rubbing his chin. ”I’ve never seen one react like that. Perhaps it resonates with your aura.”

As he started walking again, I glanced at the golden glow trailing in my wake. I’d caught a lot of curious looks since the skyship, but this was the first time anyone had actually mentioned the glow. My memory told me it was prone to entangling anyone who got too close in visions, but the stars had been quiet as of late, reacting only when my mood swung drastically.

”Here we are, my lady,” Anrinth said, stopping before a set of double doors.

A man and woman servant were positioned outside, saluting and curtsying. Anrinth returned the gesture.

”If there’s nothing else, I’ll leave you here. When you wish to return, please use your key to call me.”

”Oh, wait,” I said, catching his sleeve as he turned to leave.

Anrinth glanced at my hand, frowning. I let go quickly, my face hot, hiding my hand behind my back again.

”S-sorry,” I mumbled, looking at the floor. ”I... I left my guards in my room. I don’t think they knew I wasn’t coming right back.”

His face softened. ”I see. I’ll inform them of your whereabouts. But be at ease. No one in the city would dare infiltrate our house. We stand among the Vassals of the Whitemarshs, and our own guard is stronger than even a greater house.”

His words were less than convincing, but I took a deep breath, nodding to the servants. They opened a door and I stepped through.

Inside was a dining room much like the ones I had served in as a maid, back in Lord Byron’s halls. A long, curved table was in the middle, shaped like a semicircle. Korra was alone, standing and about to step toward a door on the other side. She glanced over her shoulder at the creak of the door, her eyes widening in surprise.

”Xiviyah?” Korra asked, turning with a speed that set her long tunic fluttering. ”What are you doing here? I thought you were going to bed.”

”I...wanted to talk for a little,” I said, twirling a strand of hair around my finger.

”Oh, cool!” She plopped down in a chair, motioning to the one next to her. ”I told you we could talk anytime. It’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to properly sit down and do that. Since before Brithlite, I think.”

I gingerly sat down, carefully smoothing my tail over the side. Several used dishes were on the table.

”Did the others already leave? Anrynth said Elise and R’lissea were here, too,” I said.

”Nah, they took off a few minutes ago.” She crossed her legs, leaning back against the delicately carved backrest of her chair.

”Oh.”

”I know that look,” she said, leaning forward. ”What’s going on?”

I avoided her eyes, my hands gripping the hem of my skirt. As she studied me, my tail started to swish, rubbing against the chair leg.

”This is about Gayron, isn’t it?” she said, frowning.

I jumped, my tail going stiff before twitching harder. My face reddened, and Korra chuckled.

”No, I didn’t read your mind. I’ve just been around you long enough to know when something’s bothering you. And since you weren’t nervous until you saw it was just me, well... it wasn’t hard to guess. So where is he?”

My mouth opened and closed, but I had no answer.

”I... I don’t know. He and Luke, um, got in a fight...”

She groaned. ”Of course they did. They were bickering before we even joined forces, remember?”

”This was different. They almost fought... for real,” I said.

”About you, huh?”

I flinched again. ”D-don’t do that!”

”Oh, come on, what else could they be fighting over? And let me guess, Gayron stormed off, and you left before he got back.”

I nodded glumly. ”Something like that. Are you sure you can’t read minds?”

”Maybe I can, and it’s just one of the things you forgot about. Is that what you were thinking?” she laughed for real, shaking her head. ”Xiviyah, you’re too easy to read. Not that I dislike that, though. I’m just glad you’re finally in a place to talk about what’s worrying you. I suppose we have R’lissea to thank for that. And you, too. It must have been hard, being alone with the demons all this time.”

A lump lodged in my throat, and I blinked quickly. I wasn’t going to cry. But all the conviction in the world wouldn’t have been enough when Korra reached out, taking my hands in hers. A single tear overflowed, running down my cheek. I let the folds of my dress go, sniffling as she laced her fingers through mine.

”Don’t worry about Gayron,” she said gently. ”I’m not mad or anything, though it would have been nice if you two had come back together. He’s his own person, responsible for making his own choices. There’s no way I could blame you.”

”Really?” I asked, looking up at her hopefully.

”Really. Why ever did you think so?”

I looked down again. ”Well... you two were so close, and I thought you would be, um...”

”Be what?” Her voice was gentle but firm.

”Disappointed.” I squeezed my eyes shut, more tears following the first. ”That it was me who came back. I’m sorry.”

Korra half-pulled me from my chair and into an embrace. I gasped as her grip tightened, driving the breath from my lungs.

”Don’t ever think something like that again. I can be happy you’re here while disappointed he’s not,” she whispered fiercely, her breath warm in my ear.

I nodded, frantically patting her back. She held me close for a moment longer before loosening her grip. My chest heaved as I caught my breath, my head sagging against her shoulder.

”Too tight,” I croaked

”Sorry,” she said, ”But I’m not letting go until you understand.”

”But I don’t understand. How can you be happy and sad at the same time? Every time something happens, I just...” I broke into a sob, burying my face in her tunic.

She lifted me from the chair, rocking me gently in her arms, stroking my hair as she murmured in my ear.

”Shhh, it’s alright. Let it all out, everything you’ve been holding in.”

It was like the floodgates had opened, one tear following the next. As my shoulders shook with sobs, my tail curled around her leg. She patted my back, her warmth and gentle strength surrounding me.

”I’m sorry,” I sniffled as I started to get a hold of myself. ”I thought I was stronger. But when things like this happen, I get so alone... so cold... Has anything really changed?”

”This isn’t about Gayron, is it,” she murmured.

I shivered as she caressed my hair, her fingers brushing the underside of my horn.

”I think you have changed,” she continued, ”Before we were separated, you fought because you had to. Fighting the Circle, freeing Elise, and even killing Alverin. That’s why you overcame all the pain and hardship we faced fighting through Brithlite.”

”I felt stronger back then,” I admitted. ”When we were together, when the world was simple. Fight, or die.”

”And that’s exactly why you’re stronger now. Could you imagine choosing to leave Heartland now? When there’s no Circle to defeat, or enslaved Sari and Elise to save?”

I shook my head.

”That’s how I know you’re stronger. Because every step forward you take is one you could have taken back to Heartland. Every battle we’ve fought since reuniting is one you haven’t had to fight, yet you’ve chosen to anyway. In a way, you’ve left Heartland all over again, this time because you chose to, not because you had to. If that hasn’t shown you’ve changed, I don’t know what would.”

I snuggled against her chest, sniffling softly.

”You weren’t like this before you got hurt,” she said after a moment. ”Was waking up without your memories really so scary?”

”Yeah.” My voice was a bare whisper. ”Everyone was so... strong, and I was so weak. I didn’t have my magic, or Haven, or even Fable. No one there would ever hurt me, and yet... I couldn’t know that, no matter how many times they reassured me.”

”But you don’t feel that anymore. So what is bothering you, then?”

I shook my head, hesitating for a long time. Something inside me urged me to close my mouth, to keep the thoughts swirling inside my head from escaping. It was dangerous to share what you truly thought, to bare your heart and feelings to anyone. True fear was too easy to manipulate, too dangerous to have known.

And yet...I took a breath, meeting her gaze. I’d promised R’lissea that when something was bothering me, I would talk about it. And I trusted Korra just as much as her.

”Korra, um, will you listen to me? For real?”