The Forsaken Hero

I drifted through sleep like a leaf on a forest stream, slipping fluidly between visions, dreams, and quiet darkness. For months, my slumber had been troubled by glimpses of horrors and war, my dreams filled with terrible ’what-ifs’ of the past. Sleep had never been easy, and more often than not, I awoke in tears.

There was no such torment now, save for the occasional glimpse of a battle ahead in the coming days. Instead, I wandered through memories of Heartland’s forests and the many adventures I shared with the Glory Chasers: Sorrin and Tana’s wedding, Dyson’s winning smile, and even Rasce’s roundabout support. I spent what felt like days riding through Blue Canyon with Korra, practicing my smile, and reunited with Elise.

Once, I walked with Aurle beneath Westfall’s ancient, twisted boughs, holding hands, talking, and laughing. Her furry fox ears twitched every time she smiled, her face bright, eyes sparkling with joy.

Dreams like that were tinged with sorrow, as even in my subconscious, I knew they would never be. The world was hard and cruel, and some joys were gone forever.

There was no way of knowing just how long it went on, how many memories I walked, or which of the many experiences were real. But regardless of the vision, it was quiet and peaceful, far away from the world of war, pain, and blood that waited for me in the world of the waking.

Gradually, the cycle of dreams came to an end, losing color, shape, and vivacity until I was completely alone in the darkness of my soul space. The stars glimmered all around me, sparkling and bright. A faint voice called to me, growing louder until I could make out the sound of my name.

A warm, inviting presence reached out to me, but I hesitated, shrinking away from it. A few wisps of starlight curled around me like mist, reforming the beginnings of another memory. I caught a glimpse of Aurle before the invading presence intensified, scattering the dream. Her smile faded, leaving me heavy with disappointment. I glared in the direction of the presence, tail flicking in agitation.

”Xiviyah.”

Fate’s voice was clear and distinct now, piercing my soulspace. My irritation at losing another chance to be with Aurle dissipated, and I sighed, stroking my tail until it stilled. It was a cruel thing to call me back to the world of pain and suffering, but...there was no other choice.

As much as I enjoyed spending time with Aurle and the friends in my past, those times were past, and they would never return. If I wished to honor those who’d gotten me this far, I could do so by living the life they gave me. I had to believe the best times were still ahead, not locked in the prison of the past, forever out of reach.

Fate called me again, and this time, I answered. Gentle light invaded the darkness, bathing me in warmth, and I relaxed as it bore me upward, like a bubble rising in honey. My senses returned gradually, and the haze of sleep left my mind.

Silken sheets whispered across my skin as I shifted, eyelids fluttering. A hand held mine, its thumb tracing gentle circles across my palm. Cool, clean air filled my lungs with every breath, and the gentle trickle of water drifted through my ears. A woman’s graceful smile greeted me as my eyes slid open.

”Good morning,” she said.

I lay in a small, tidy room with a single window. White, silky sheets covered the downy mattress, matched by the drapes parted to let Haven’s starlight in. A light crystal shone faintly in the ceiling, but the walls and floor were plain and unadorned. The woman was beautiful, with long, golden hair and a dress woven from the stars themselves. I blinked slowly, staring at her for several seconds before a flicker of recognition passed through me.

”F-fate?” My voice came out odd, strained by disuse and the sandy dryness in my throat.

”I’m here, child,” she said, smoothing a strand of crimson hair from my face. ”Do you remember anything?”

”I...I don’t...” I said, pursing my lips. ”I’ve seen so much...but none of it was real. Aurle was...”

”You fought the empire and inquisitors,” she prompted.

A jolt went through me, and my grip on her hand tightened. Tears welled up in my eyes as memories flooded my mind. First back was the fear and darkness of the abandoned city, then the pain and chaos of the battle for the keep—lastly, the terrifying pressure and helplessness of my soul.

I touched my chest, fingertips cold against my skin. My soul hummed faintly, but the man was calm.

”I...I’m sorry,” I whispered, letting my hand fall limply back to the sheets.

”Whatever for?”

”For...” I turned my head from her, the angle letting a tear spill over and trickle down my cheek. ”I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t walk on my own.”

She was quiet for a moment, then sighed and shook her head. ”Xiviyah...I’m fortunate to have the ability to perceive your thoughts, otherwise...well, let’s just say it gives me some sympathy for that apostle’s plight.”

”Apostle?” My eyes flitted back to her, searching her expression.

She met my gaze evenly. ”It seems you misunderstood something, little one. I was not asking you to stand on your own without ever receiving help, but to learn that you could do hard things and that you didn’t need someone to hold your hand through every minute of the day.”

”So...” My lower lip quivered. ”I...I did good?”

She smiled gently and rubbed my head between my horns. ”You did very good, little one. I’m proud of you.”

Tears streamed down my face as a sob caught in my throat. Fate pulled me into an embrace, softly stroking my hair as I wept into her shoulder.

”I was so scared,” I sobbed.

”Shh, I know,” she murmured, ”But you didn’t give up, even when it was too dark to see the path. You were very brave.”

”I thought I was going to die. That I would fail you, and Elise, and...”

”You didn’t, though, did you?”

I shook my head. ”N-no.”

”Then it’s okay. The path of fate is never straight, but it will always get where it is meant to go. All that matters is you keep the faith and put one foot in front of the other. Everything will end as it is supposed to.”

”Even when it hurts, and it’s so dark?” I whispered.

She nodded. ”Especially then. You remember the starless night, do you not?”

I shivered, my tail curling up.

”Even on a night with no stars, the dawn will come,” she said.

She supported me as I continued to sob, murmuring comforts in my ear before I even had a chance to share the darkness that troubled me. It took me several minutes to regain my composure, and even then she held me close, stroking my hair as the occasional sob shook my frame.

”How long was I sleeping?” I finally asked.

”Almost three weeks.”

”It felt like an eternity,” I mumbled.

”I expected as much. Your connection with fate is unlike anything I’ve seen, and with the changes in your soul, it will only grow more so,” she said softly. ”Abilities get stronger and more pronounced as a soul grows in power, which can often have intense, unforeseen consequences.”

”So I really broke through?” I asked.

”You did.”

”I didn’t realize,” I said, glancing at my soul. It was tranquil, like a waveless pond but deeper than the darkest depths of the sea.

Fate chuckled, pulling away enough to meet my gaze. ”That’s because it’s been so long since it’s happened to you. Your last breakthrough was in Brithlite before the dragon attacked, remember?”

Has it been that long? My soul had been crippled just after then, forcing me to climb the levels starting from third again. It had been a matter of healing, then, not transcending my power. Thus, the realm hadn’t recognized it as breaking through, and forgone the traditional bestowal of mana.

”But it hurt so much,” I said, shuddering as I recalled the extraordinary pressure. ”I remember it was hard before, but never so intense!”

Fate frowned slightly, a flicker of unease in her gaze. ”You were never supposed to get this strong.”

I tensed. ”What does that mean?”

”Not what you’re thinking, little one,” she quickly soothed. ”Rather, as one’s soul gets stronger, so too does their body. Wielding large amounts of mana strains more than the soul, you know.”

”Right. Oftentimes, it feels like there’s a higher cost to my body than soul after casting a high-circle spell,” I explained.

”Then what do you think would happen if your soul suddenly tripled in mana capacity?” she asked.

I opened my mouth, the answer obvious, before freezing. ”You mean...”

”Exactly. Because of the Sun God’s curse, your body is particularly vulnerable to the strain exacted by handling large amounts of mana. I had hoped to be there when it happened, to walk you through the initial stages, but...” she smiled wryly. ”The path of fate is never straight.”

”So...I nearly died?” I asked.

”Perhaps, though at the eighth level, I suspect the worst thing that would happen is that you might sever your connection with your mana. The real trouble will come as you engage in high-level battles in the future. Even though your mana is sufficient to cast multiple eighth-circle spells, casting them will have a terrible toll on your strength.”

I gasped, my heart missing a beat. ”And what if I make it to the ninth level?”

”Let’s worry about that if we get there. For now, there is plenty else that must be done. For instance, aren’t there a few people you’d like to see?”