The Forsaken Hero

I remembered only snapshots of the following few days. Arriving in the camp of the Last Light Company, nearly falling off of Fable, being surrounded by worried faces, and the scolding of a very irritated Elinore. Through it all, the horrible ache of my soul and the scorching heat of the sunpurge.

It was almost a week later that I regained full coherence, sitting up in bed with a sharp breath. Sweat soaked my thin nightdress and my breath was short and erratic. I groped blindly around me, searching for warm, silken fur but found only blankets. Light ones, at that, given the sensitive nature of the sunpurge.

Just as my chest was starting to tighten with panic, Fable’s scent washed over me and a tongue dragged across my cheek. My gasp was part surprise part relief, and I threw myself forward, wrapping my arms around my wolf’s neck and burying my face in his fur. He must have climbed onto the bed because the entire frame creaked in protest, but I didn’t care, holding him tight until I finally stopped trembling.

”Nightmares?”

Elinore’s soft voice startled me from the reunion, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave Fable’s embrace and only nodded.

”Elise...” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. ”I-It was just a bad dream?”

The life mage must have and stood and approached, because her hand appeared on my head, gently stroking my hair. ”I’m...afraid not. We don’t know exactly what’s going on Brithlite, but after hearing what happened...” Elinore’s voice trailed off.

She was quiet for a few moments, and I shivered as her hand fell still, resting just between my horns. ”There’s more, my lady. It’s Sari, the foxkin you tried to save.”

”N-no,” I whispered, shaking my head, nearly dislodging her comforting touch. ”It’s can’t be!”

Immediately, the fear I’d only started to lose returned. From the moment I fell unconscious after meeting with the demons, I’d been tormented by fragments of visions and nightmares, blending together until they became an incoherent tide of pain and darkness. I watched Sari die a thousand times, bleeding out or poisoned and going limp in my arms. Sometimes, her face changed to that of Aurle, and I was reliving the horrors of Byron’s hell all over again.

Worse than Sari was Elise. I was forced to watch her beat, tortured, and raped over and over again, all the while as she wore her warm smile, telling her tormentors how special they were to her, and how much she loved them.

But what else could I have done? There was no other way to have even a chance of saving Sari, and yet...I’d given up the heart crest. Everything that resulted from that choice, all of the suffering and anguish, would be my fault. If even a fraction of what I had seen happen in Brithlite were reality, and not just a twisted dream, I wanted to sink into the darkness to a place I could never return from. I’d imagined what someone like Alverin would do with the heart crest, but it was nothing compared to the horrors of reality. Forcing Sari to stab herself would only be the beginning.

”Shhh, it’s alright,” Elinore murmured. ”You did the best you could.”

Tears streamed down my face and soaked into Fable’s fur, matting it against my cheeks. Elinore’s hand began moving again, gently rubbing the back of my head as I shook with gentle sobs. The tears slowed after a few minutes, leaving me feeling cold and empty inside.

”W-where’s Sari?” I asked between sniffles.

Elinore hesitated for a long time. Too long.

”She’s...alive.”

Alive. From the healer’s somber tone, I knew there was more, but that single word eased the pain. With a stuttering breath, I finally raised my head from Fable’s coat and opened my eyes, blinking away tears in the morning light. It looked like I was in a canvas tent, probably one of the armies, yet I didn’t care for my surroundings right now.

”What happened?” I asked.

She shook her head. ”That elemental of yours brought Sari right to me, like it knew who I was. After I realized it wasn’t a threat, I did everything I could to save the foxkin, but...it wasn’t enough. I managed to stabilize her, and even got her to wake up, but it’s all I can do to keep her alive. The poison saturated every vein in her body, all but destroying her. I don’t know what it’s done to her, not fully, but I doubt she’ll ever be the same. Certainly nothing like other children her age, unable to run, play, and maybe even laugh. There’s more damage to her than just her body. Actually, whatever that bastard king did to her might even be worse than the stab wound.”

”It’s enough,” I said, ”Thank you for saving her. I wasn’t strong enough to do it, and could only lay this burden at your feet. Please, don’t blame yourself, tell her it was my fault.

Elinore gasped. ”I could never do that!”

”It’s true,” I murmured, another tear sliding down my face.

”It’s not.”

I flinched at her flat rebuttal, Aurle’s words slicing through my thoughts. Until the very end, she had insisted it was the Circle that had hurt us. But after all I had done, could I hide behind that excuse and pretend my hands were free of blood?

Fable’s soft growl reverberated through his chest into mine, a deep resonant hum that penetrated me to the core. His eyes were fixed on me, and I could see myself reflected across the deep, shining gold. The stars that drifted through his irises had an erratic beat to them, mirroring the discontentment I could feel through our bond.

”You’re right,” I whispered, smoothing his hair back over his forehead. ”No, she was right. This is the circle’s fault, and I will make them pay.”

With a short exhale, I let the doubt and guilt go. My legs were weak and shaky, but with Fable’s help, I managed to push myself to my feet and face Elinore. She was frowning, but there was a hint of relief behind her stern expression.

”I’m glad you feel that way,” she said, ”but I’m afraid there’s more bad news.”

My heart fluttered at the weight in her voice, my hand unconsciously curling to my side. The sunpurge didn’t seem to have spread any further, but the week of rest had done little for the constant pain. From the moment I regained consciousness, a hot tingle danced continually across my side like tiny hot knives.

She nodded, confirming my guess. ”I thought I told you not to stress yourself. Not only did I find you covered in cuts and scrapes, not to mention that dreadful bruise around your neck, but I heard you cast a ninth-circle spell.”

My eyes widened in surprise, and I shook my head with a little more force than was necessary. ”I-it was just a sixth-circle spell! It just...um, used enough mana for a ninth,” I added in a small voice.

”And what was all that about ’channeling the shard?’” she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I wilted, biting my lip and rubbing my horn, refusing to meet her prying eyes. ”I had to save everyone.”

She let out a sharp breath. ”Fine, I admit your actions might have been necessary in the context you took them, but you seem obsessed with driving yourself into the ground. You can’t keep straining your soul like this, it gets weaker every single time, and so does your body. If you push yourself that far again, there might not be a next time. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

”Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry,” I replied meekly. I knew better than her just how dangerously close I’d come to destroying my own soul. It was asking too much already to restrain the mana of the shard, but then I’d been forced to reveal my ability to Luke to survive and escape the city. I was just grateful the cost had fallen on my shoulder this time, instead of my friends.

”Good. For the time being, I’m banning you from casting anything more than a third-circle spell. And if I hear anything about using an array, I’ll personally bury you myself. I know you’re aware of the limits of your soul, and you could probably get away with more, but your body is another concern. Now that the sunpurge has proved its capable of spreading, we can’t take any more chances. The more it consumes your flesh, the weaker you become, until, eventually, you’re unable to stave off its advance entirely and it kills you.”

I pinched the hem of my night dress and pulled it taut, letting the soft glow of the sunpurge seep through the thin fabric. ”But why does spread in the first place? It’s not magical, or my ability would negate it. And from what I can tell, it’s not a part of my soul, right?”

She pursed her lips together, a thoughtful look overtaking her worry. ”I...think we’re on to something, but it’s just a theory for now. I studied all of the information you gave me about your experience dealing with corruption and found a few close connections with sunpurge. It’s nothing conclusive, and I’ve come up against a wall, but I sent my findings to my master. With any luck, they’ll be able to find something I can’t and give us a more permanent solution.”

I felt my eyes go wide. ”Corruption? You think they’re the same thing?”

”Not same, but similar. Corruption targets the soul first, and then the body. My theory is that sunpurge is the opposite force, and works from the body to the soul. Regardless, there seems to be a connection between them. But until we find it, this is going to have to do.” With that, Elinore reached into her pouch and withdrew a small jar.

Without waiting for her to ask, I tugged the hem of my nightdress up to my chest and exposed my side to her. The cool, morning air caressed my bare skin, creeping over the tingling sunpurge and sending sporadic shivers through my flesh.

”Very good. Now hold still, this stings a bit,” Elinore instructed.

She dipped her finger in the jar and began applying the salve to my side first, and then my shoulder. The result was immediate, and my eyes grew wet with relief as a cool, soothing sensation washed over the scars.

Once she was done, I let my dress fall back and thanked her with a proper curtsey. That drew a smile from the stern woman, and she clapped her hands. Sarra, her apprentice, ducked inside the tent.

”Get this foolish girl changed,” Elinore instructed her. ”Then see her to the mess hall.” She stooped over and began gathering her things, then paused and glanced at her apprentice. ”And don’t you dare let her out of your sight, especially with that Korra character around.”

”Yes, master,” Sarra said, bowing her head respectfully. ”I’ll see it done.”