A Foodie Transmigrated into the Palace

Chapter 403: Chapter 403: Missing a Woman

Xia Tingfeng had learned first thing that morning about his sister giving birth to the Crown Prince and her promotion to Consort Xian Pin. He was overjoyed.

However, both the third-day bathing ceremony and the full-moon feast were Harem affairs. Logically, as an external court official, he couldn’t participate. Consequently, his little nephew was already a month old, yet Xia Tingfeng hadn’t even seen him. He felt anxious yet somewhat expectant. But... this is just how things are. If I can’t see him, then I can’t see him!

The only thing he could do now was send a gift. What gift should I send?

From ancient times to the present, nothing has perplexed stoic, practical men more than selecting gifts, especially gifts for women and children. Indeed, a month had passed, and he still hadn’t made up his mind.

That day, after finishing his duties, he returned to Zheng Mansion. There, in the pavilion, he saw Tiger drinking and admiring the snow with Yang Chenyi. Ever since the hunting trip, the two had become as close as brothers who share a single pair of trousers, frequenting the same places every day.

It had snowed just the previous night, and today, the two of them had gathered. In the courtyard pavilion, they had set up two braziers of charcoal and prepared a few dishes. Then, they began to drink, taking turns with sips. As they drank, they boasted wildly, the atmosphere growing boisterous.

Rat and Monster thoroughly despised Tiger for such behavior.

”Monster,” Rat complained, ”those two are drinking and didn’t even invite us!”

Monster shot them a disdainful glance and said contemptuously, ”I wouldn’t go anyway! They’re both martial artists—rough, dirty, and smelly. We’re not like them. We can’t outdrink them or outfight them, so why would I join that racket? Going would just mean getting thrashed, so it was better not to go.”

Rat pondered for a moment. ”That’s true. Their alcohol tolerance is something we can’t even compete with!”

”Ah, forget it!” Rat exclaimed. ”Let’s go out instead! Such beautiful scenery! It absolutely must be accompanied by a pot of fine wine, a couple of pretty girls, and ideally... someone singing a little tune!” As Rat spoke, an increasingly lascivious look spread across his face.

Monster considered it. ”Big Brother will be back soon. Why don’t we... invite Big Brother?”

Rat did a quick calculation, his expression turning troubled. He leaned close to Monster’s ear and whispered, ”Monster, we brothers haven’t indulged in ages. Are you sure we should call Big Brother?”

Whenever Xia Tingfeng went to such places, he never indulged. He’d just have a small drink, listen to some tunes, observe the Beautiful Delicate Ladies, and that would be all. This made them too embarrassed to indulge themselves. But to go to that kind of place and not indulge—wasn’t that like trying to scratch an itch through a boot? The wicked desires stoked so high in their hearts couldn’t be satisfied, and it was agonizing!

Hearing Rat’s words, Monster also grew perplexed. ”That’s right! Our Big Brother is a man too, young and vigorous. He doesn’t have a Beautiful Delicate Lady by his side, and when he sees pretty women, he just looks and then leaves! Can our Big Brother... really endure it?”

For a man, if that ’thing’ down there was well taken care of, he’d fear neither blood nor sweat. But if it wasn’t taken care of, then forget blood and sweat—not even offering gold would help! When lust clouded the mind, it was simply uncontrollable!

Rat feigned deep thought for a moment, then said mysteriously, ”Actually, perhaps our Big Brother is still a complete novice in that department, utterly clueless!”

Monster thought about it and agreed.

Then, both of them started to worry, surprisingly for the exact same reasons. They worried about Big Brother’s lifelong happiness and the problem of how he, with no experience, would successfully conquer his future sister-in-law.

The more they thought, the more they felt something was amiss. Why does it feel like... someone’s behind us?

And then... the two of them turned their heads in unison.

”Big Brother!”

Their eyes widened in horror, and they stood dumbfounded, the hairs on the backs of their necks bristling.

We’re doomed, doomed! What on earth were we just discussing?! Did Big Brother hear? How much did he hear? Will he drag us out, chop us up, and feed us to the dogs?

The more Rat thought about it, the guiltier he felt. In the end, he was the first to break the silence. ”Big Brother...”

Monster also tried to keep his voice calm, calling out ”Big Brother” in a gentle and refined tone.

Xia Tingfeng was quite pleased. ”What are you two doing standing here? Why not join them for a drink?”

Rat and Monster exchanged a look.

He didn’t hear?

Seems like it. He didn’t hear a thing, otherwise he wouldn’t have that expression!

Mm, good, good. So our lives are safe, right?

Mhm!

Having confirmed with their eyes, the two of them relaxed. Color quickly returned to their previously ashen faces.

Xia Tingfeng asked again, ”Why didn’t you go drink with them?”

Rat gave a dry laugh. ”Initially, whenever Young Master Yang visited, we really would join them. But later, since those two could drink so much, they always ended up drinking us until we were completely scattered! Gradually, we stopped going. Our alcohol tolerance isn’t as good as theirs. If we go, we just get thrashed!”

Monster nodded in agreement. ”When those two drink, they can drink all of us under the table!”

”So...” The two grinned sheepishly.

Xia Tingfeng wasn’t really concerned about such matters, so he didn’t press further. He strode into the house to change.

At that, Rat glared at Monster. ”Great! I suggested we go indulge earlier, but you refused. Now, even if we wanted to, it’s too late!” Going with Big Brother meant it would be strictly ’vegetarian’.

Monster pouted. ”How was I supposed to know... Big Brother would be back so soon...”

Rat glared again. ”Alright, alright, let’s go. We’ll ask Big Brother!”

’Vegetarian’ is better than nothing, right? Monster said no more, and the two went off together.

In his room, Xia Tingfeng had already changed into his everyday attire. His mind was preoccupied, leaving him in no mood for anything else; he was completely lost in thought. He stood by the window, pondering.

What gifts should I get for my sister and little nephew? My sister has been promoted, so she needs a gift. My little nephew is having his full-moon celebration, so he needs a gift too. Two gifts... How do I choose?!

Rat and Monster, those two shameless fellows, came in grinning, their eyes glinting with a strange excitement.

Rat asked cheekily, ”B-Big Brother, you’re not on duty tomorrow, are you?”

Xia Tingfeng, his mind elsewhere, nodded absently. It’s precisely because I’m not on duty that I need to hurry and decide on the gifts, so I’ll have time to go out and buy them! he thought.

Monster’s face lit up with excitement. ”Big Brother... why don’t... we go for a drink too?”

At these words, Xia Tingfeng finally snapped out of his reverie. His gaze sharpened as he looked at the two cheeky men, their eyes practically sparkling with excitement. He instantly understood. These two scoundrels, they must be itching for some female company! But... any other time might have been fine, but right now, how could I possibly have the time to go carousing with them?

Immediately, Xia Tingfeng’s face darkened, and he cursed, ”Scram! If you want to go, go by yourselves! I don’t have the time!!”

Rat and Monster, however, seemed to have developed an immunity to the word ’scram’.

Rat’s eyes darted about, and he stepped forward with a sly grin. ”Hey, Big Brother, isn’t it just about giving a gift to... that newly promoted Consort Xian Pin in the Harem? That’s not so difficult! I actually have an idea!”

Xia Tingfeng’s interest was piqued. ”What idea?” he asked.