A Guide to Humanity’s Extinction

”I asked you a question. Why have you both gone mute?”

Ke Mingqing harrumphed twice, his tone laced with sarcasm. He was one step away from planting his hands on his hips and hoisting a sign over his head that read ”Rain Crow is My Dad.” Preferably in some ultra-bold font with two little hearts tacked on at the end.

A single remark wasn’t enough to vent his frustration. Ke Mingqing raised his eyes toward the silent Xia Lingxue and Ke Linye. Looking as stern as Judge Bao holding court, he asked, ”Two days ago at the family meeting, you were both so aggressive, demanding I produce evidence. Now that the proof is irrefutable, does anyone still doubt that the old man is Rain Crow?”

After a long while, seeing that no one in the hallway spoke, Ke Mingqing casually added, ”It’s fine. I turned off the microphone and camera for the video call. You can speak freely; there’s no need to be so restrained. The Roundtable can’t hear what you’re saying.”

He paused, shaking his head with a sigh. ”Even if they did hear, they’d just marvel at how Rain Crow has way too many illegitimate children and ask if he awakened some ’Many Children, Many Blessings System’ to finish off Clock Maker.”

Ke Linye still said nothing.

He raised his eyebrows slightly, resting the back of his head against the wall. With his head tilted slightly and his clear eyes lowered, he silently watched the video call on the screen.

Throughout this bizarre call, the eldest brother’s brows hadn’t relaxed once.

The people sitting in the meeting room didn’t look like cheap cosplayers. Judging from the scenery outside the window, this was the genuine Empire State Building, and the people sitting around the conference table were genuine Roundtable Heroes.

Ke Linye could tell as much just by looking at the No. 2 Roundtable Hero, Iris.The outfits of the other Roundtable Heroes could be imitated to some extent, but not Iris’s. That layer of lingering, wondrous rainbow light enveloping her body made her the most dazzling presence on the screen.

”It doesn’t look fake. I’ve seen Iris once before. No AI software or real-life cosplay costume could replicate that kind of visual spectacle.”

Ke Linye muttered softly. He lifted his gaze slightly from the screen and glanced at the WeChat avatar of the person on the other end of the call—an abandoned iron tower perched with crows, set against a blood-red sky at dusk.

Without a doubt, this was the WeChat avatar of their old man, Ke Mingwei.

Normally, they used this WeChat account to communicate with Ke Mingwei about everything, from major decisions like choosing a university after the college entrance exams, to minor things like the pros and cons of an internship, or even daily reports like what they ate for breakfast and what time they’d be home.

As a result, this avatar had left an indelible impression on their minds. It had reached the point where just seeing the profile picture would conjure up their old man’s gloomy, depressed face.

Yet at this moment, this familiar avatar felt completely different to them. The massive sense of dissonance made Ke Linye shrug his shoulders, press a hand to his forehead, and close his eyes.

Thoughts drifted endlessly through his mind, like waves crashing against a beach, leaving only wet sand behind when the tide receded.

Our old man is Rain Crow?

The superhero who saved us when we were kids, the one who has maintained order in Leijing day in and day out for twenty years... is actually our old man? No wonder he plays missing person every day and doesn’t come home for a day or two at a time, earning him the nickname ”The Spirited-Away Cop” from his colleagues.

After all these years, hasn’t he ever thought about coming clean with us?

Last time, he even took us to the Hero Corridor at the Super Hero Company to look at his own official file collection. Damn it, so my narcissism was inherited from him—

So, a few years ago when Rain Crow came to the school and saved me and my sister from those thugs, the reason he didn’t say a word and just left after giving us a single glance... was it because he felt guilty toward us?

Damn it. What is this about my oldest sister being a Control Bureau agent, my youngest sister a magical girl, and both my little brother and my old man being superheroes? Is there a single normal person left in this family?

Looking at it this way, the chances of Mom being Nezha are even higher now, aren’t they?

If I find a chance to make a surprise visit home some other day, won’t I catch Mom doing yoga in midair while stepping on the Wind and Fire Wheels? That could genuinely rank among the top hundred most bizarre scenes in China. Could this family give me any more surprises?

Ke Linye maintained almost draconian control over his personal conduct. He generally never swore at home so as not to be a bad influence on his younger siblings.

But at this moment, imagining Xia Wenna doing midair yoga on the Wind and Fire Wheels and using the Huntian Ling to grab a carton of eggs from the kitchen fridge, he couldn’t help but blurt out, ”What the fuck—why?”

”Oh?” Ke Mingqing raised an eyebrow and mentally took a little note. ”Great. Big sis made a rule that if anyone swears in the house, they have to run errands for everyone else for a month. Don’t worry, bro, I’ve already tallied it to your account.”

Ke Linye ignored him, remaining deep in thought. After a long silence, he finally released his right hand from his forehead, turned his head, and stared deeply at Xia Lingxue.

After a moment, he finally opened his mouth and asked her, ”Sis, what do you make of this?”

Xia Lingxue’s face was as expressionless as usual, but the light in her eyes wavered slightly.

During her preliminary investigations over the past few days, she had already discovered all sorts of inconsistencies about Ke Mingwei.

Yet, even though she had mentally prepared herself to face the impending truth, when the irrefutable evidence actually stabbed into her eyes like an iron pitchfork, her heart was inevitably seized by a massive sense of shock and absurdity. It felt as though a massive flood had crashed into her face, nearly pounding her internal organs into mush.

She might have looked expressionless, but in reality, her worldview and core values were on the verge of shattering completely.

Her younger sister was a magical girl, and her younger brother was a superhero. Honestly, these were all within her realm of acceptance. Since she already had a mutant criminal for a brother, she had effectively been vaccinated against the reality that ”my siblings belong to the super-human species” in advance and had built up some immunity.

But jumping a generation entirely was obviously taking things too far.

That decadent old man at home who rarely smiled or joked, who always leaned against the window smoking in solitude, and who constantly talked about retiring, had suddenly transformed into the superhero she had looked up to for years. The entire vibe was completely different.

This had already crossed into horror movie territory.

”Give me the phone,” Xia Lingxue finally said, having recovered her wits a moment later.

”Are you sure?” Ke Linye asked. ”I hope you don’t do anything impulsive, like exposing the old man’s real identity and name in front of the other Roundtable Heroes.”

”Didn’t I tell you? I already turned off the camera and audio on our end,” Ke Mingqing said with a shrug.

”Give it.”

Xia Lingxue spoke as if she hadn’t heard a word the two brothers said. Her tone was noticeably colder than before.

”Here.”

Ke Linye hesitated for a moment before handing the phone over to Xia Lingxue.

He then lowered his head and let out a sigh of relief. It was as if a ten-ton boulder pressing down on his back had suddenly been shifted onto someone else’s shoulders, and even his breathing became much easier.

Ke Mingqing leaned against the doorframe, head tilted, whistling on the sidelines as he gloated over their misfortune.

He curled his lips into a smile, quietly observing their reactions. You can’t handle this already? You two are too weak, he thought. You should know that ever since I arrived in this world, I’ve been enduring this kind of pressure every single day.

Besides, you two are an S Rank and an A++ Rank. Your mental stats should be a few levels higher than mine, so why are you both so frail when it comes to handling stress?

After taking the phone, Xia Lingxue immediately minimized the call interface, revealing the chat window between Ke Mingqing and Ke Mingwei.

Face dark and devoid of expression, she looked at their chat history.

[Ke Mingqing: Old man, are you in a meeting in New York? I remember you mentioning you had a meeting this morning, and morning in America is nighttime for us.]

[Ke Mingwei: Yes, the meeting is about to start. I’m already in the conference room.]

[Ke Mingqing: I’m going to video call you. Have a crow hold the phone in its beak to act as my camera, so I can see what a Roundtable meeting actually looks like.]

Xia Lingxue fell silent. Ke Linye, who was watching from the side, also fell silent.

They couldn’t imagine Blue Pigeon talking to Rain Crow like this, yet they could perfectly accept Ke Mingqing talking to Ke Mingwei this way. When an equals sign was suddenly drawn between these two sets of identities, a massive sense of incongruity rushed over them.

Ke Linye tightened his grip on the book in his hand. When people felt awkward, they tended to look for random things to do. He flipped open a page, took out the maple leaf bookmark, and clamped it between his lips, only to silently spit it back out a moment later.

Xia Lingxue lowered her head slightly, crossing her arms and gently scratching her fair neck with the fingertips of her right hand. She took a deep breath, her falling bangs obscuring her eyes.

”Oh no, you guys aren’t going to un-stan Rain Crow, are you?” Ke Mingqing looked at them suspiciously. ”Please don’t. If you do, I’ll be his only fan left in this house!”

He counted on his fingers. ”But if my guess is right and our third sister is actually White Jack, then there’s one more Rain Crow fan in the house. It’s fine, we still have a safety net.”

”Shut up. Will it kill you to be quiet for a minute?”

Xia Lingxue said coldly.

”Yes, sir. But I still have one important question I haven’t asked yet.” Ke Mingqing raised his hand in a military salute.

After a while, Xia Lingxue and Ke Linye slowly raised their heads. Still somewhat distracted, as if they had lost their souls, they said absentmindedly, ”Spit it out.”

”I’m thinking about whether we should tell Mom that ’the old man is Rain Crow’.” Ke Mingqing leaned in close, lowering his voice and rolling his eyes shiftily. ”What do you guys think?”

”Why?”

The two leaning against the wall asked in unison.

Ke Mingqing said smoothly, ”Mom was scrolling through Xiaohongshu before and saw a post titled, ’If Your Husband Frequently Doesn’t Come Home at Night, You Need to Be Careful.’ She even asked me if the old man was having an affair.”

”And then?” Ke Linye asked casually.

”And then, now we have the answer!”

Ke Linye understood. ”Oh, you’re saying that the reason the old man doesn’t come home every night is because he’s busy catching criminals, and we misjudged him?”

”No!” Ke Mingqing shook his head, his expression turning serious. ”I mean, don’t you guys think the old man is hooking up with Officer Girl?”

He paused. ”I’m a feminist. I support Mom taking the ’strong female lead’ script, splitting from the old man right now, and carving out her own career. It would be best if she directly guided the alien overlords to invade and colonize Earth, making the old man kneel on the ground like an incompetent husband, watching the Blue Planet get violated.”

As soon as he said that, he froze, suddenly realizing he had just spouted something horrendous. He discreetly covered his mouth and raised his head, trembling with fear and treading on thin ice.

Fortunately, neither Ke Linye nor Xia Lingxue reacted. It was hard for normal people to ever imagine that their mother was an alien.

At this moment, they were still intently listening to the contents of the Roundtable meeting.

By this time, Zeus had just finished introducing the basic details about ”players.” When he mentioned ”exterminating the super-human species within half a year,” it elicited roaring laughter from the room.

However, just as the meeting was getting to the main event and Zeus was about to announce the ”handling measures for these one hundred players,” the crow holding the phone suddenly set it down on the table and used its beak to sever the video call.

”What the fuck—why?”

This time, it was Ke Mingqing’s turn to uncontrollably burst into profanity.

”Cut. Wonderful. Your older sister made a rule that if anyone swears in the house, they have to run errands for everyone else for a month. Little bro, I’ve already tallied it to your account.”

Ke Linye said plainly, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

”Bro, how can you be so childish? It’s just a swear word, is that really necessary?”

Ke Mingqing couldn’t believe the call had been cut off right when they reached the part he wanted to hear most. He snatched the phone back from Xia Lingxue and repeatedly redialed the video call.

However, Ke Mingwei didn’t answer.

A moment later, to Ke Mingqing’s utter despair, their old father sent a WeChat message.

[Ke Mingwei: The higher-ups demanded that no one besides the twelve Roundtable Heroes is allowed to know the Roundtable’s strategy regarding the players. I have to turn off the video for now, so I don’t get into trouble.]

[Ke Mingqing: But I want to hear it too.]

[Ke Mingwei: I’ll tell you when I come home in a couple of days. Don’t be so impatient. The most important thing about being a superhero is keeping a steady mindset.]

Steady my ass! This is about my life and safety, old man! How the hell am I supposed to know what kind of things those perverts at the Roundtable are going to pull out to torture us players? Especially that perverted doctor—

Ke Mingqing cursed internally, unable to stop himself from throwing his head back and letting out a long sigh.

A short while later, when he finally gave up pestering him and looked up from his phone screen, Ke Linye and Xia Lingxue had already walked away.

He hurriedly reached out to stop them. ”Hey, hey, hey! Bro, sis, don’t go! I still want to hear your thoughts! I’ve even prepared to write a short essay titled ’My Father is Rain Crow’ in my diary for you!”

”Mhm. I really need some time alone right now,” Ke Linye said listlessly.

”Don’t be noisy. Don’t be annoying. Don’t cause trouble,” Xia Lingxue said coldly.

Having said their piece, the two returned to their respective bedrooms and slammed their doors shut, leaving Ke Mingqing standing alone in the hallway, silently watching them go.

”Boring. Those two are way too repressed.”

A moment later, Ke Mingqing yawned and looked up at the yellowed clock on the wall. It was already nearly ten o’clock at night.

So he washed up and immediately went to bed.

The night passed in silence.

Early the next morning, Ke Mingqing opened his eyes on the sleeping mat in his bedroom.

[Good morning, you detestable Red Name Player who is virtually indistinguishable from human scum—Jin Chengwu.]

[The current time is 07:00 AM on Thursday, September 13th. The time limit for the ”Exterminate Superhumans” mission has 106 days, 17 hours, and 0 minutes remaining.]

With his left hand behind his head and his right hand resting on his stomach, he quietly stared at the daily system notification floating above him. Flirting with the system every day had become an indispensable part of his life.

He wasn’t sure if it was because the witch Little Grey had paid another visit to his room last night and conveniently given him a new hairstyle, but his hair was as messy as if it had just survived World War II.

Autumn was approaching. The sunlight streaming in through the window still carried a hint of summer’s brightness, but the chirping of cicadas could gradually no longer be heard.

The young man sat up with a yawn. With his head bowed and tears in his eyes from yawning, he spaced out for a while. The thin little blanket covered his crossed legs, bunching up in layers of folds.

Exactly two whole days had passed since the older version of Bai Ziling from the future had departed. It was now the morning of the fourth day.

Just then, the phone buried under his pillow suddenly rang, so he picked it up and took a look.

[The Little Match Girl Little Red Riding Hood: You there, you there, Big Brother Blue Pigeon?]

[Ke Mingqing: You’re being way too arrogant, calling me ’brother’ so directly. If my sister and I weren’t in the middle of a cold war right now, she’d definitely curse you out.]

[The Little Match Girl Little Red Riding Hood: Irrelevant. For a little girl who grew up eating garbage, this is just a trivial matter. Worst comes to worst, I’ll just slide to my knees and kowtow to apologize to Senior.]

[Ke Mingqing: Could you not be so practiced at that?]

[The Little Match Girl Little Red Riding Hood: This is how I’ve always treated my friends in the past.]

[Ke Mingqing: Well, that makes me worry about the quality of your friendships. So, what do you need me for?]

[The Little Match Girl Little Red Riding Hood: Kiyono Sakura wants to see you. Same place, that abandoned elementary school. She said she’s bringing two friends along, but as for who they are, I’m not sure.]

[Ke Mingqing: Is she gonna go all ’die-a die-a’ on me?]

[The Little Match Girl Little Red Riding Hood: What are you talking about? Is that even Chinese grammar anymore?]

Ke Mingqing put down his phone, pressed a hand to his forehead, and drew in a sharp breath. He muttered softly, ”Crap. Don’t tell me Kiyono Sakura found out I’m harboring a witch, and now she wants to drag me back to the Great Japanese Empire to interrogate me under torture...”