A Guide to Humanity’s Extinction

”Brother, could you be any worse at this?”

”Sister, I’m just mentally rehearsing how to battle the terrifying Crow Man. Once I join the Superhero Roundtable Council and become a Roundtable Hero, I’m definitely impeaching that old fart.”

”You suck because you suck. Stop making excuses, okay?”

The night had grown deep. Lights shone brightly in the living room, while the cicada chirps outside the window slowly faded.

Ke Mingqing and Xia Zili each gripped a red and blue controller, huddled in front of the television. They were playing It Takes Two on the Switch’s docked mode, the boy’s eyes locked dead ahead on the screen.

His expression looked focused, but his inputs were as sluggish as a dementia patient’s, leaving his sister red in the face with fury. Not even the oscillating fan could blow away her anger.

On the screen, Ke Mingqing’s chubby character did a dodge roll and sluggishly raised his honey gun.

Before he could even fire a single shot, a spear-wielding wasp impaled him. His character collapsed to the ground, dead.

Xia Zili could not hold out long enough for him to respawn, and her character quickly followed suit.

The screen went black, flashing the words ”Game Over.” The siblings’ progress reverted to the last checkpoint, forcing them to start the entire section over. Right at that moment, a prompt suddenly popped up in Ke Mingqing’s vision.[Prompt: Your Theater Puppet No. 02 has died.]

’The old man’s temper is as explosive as ever,’ Ke Mingqing thought cheerfully. ’But this has to be a first for him: having the criminal he just caught executed by someone else right under his nose. I hope he doesn’t burst a blood vessel.’

Ke Mingqing thought cheerfully, absentmindedly mashing the buttons on his controller.

The husband and wife on the screen were once again defeated by the giant spear-wielding wasp. The television went black, reflecting the siblings’ faces. Ke Mingqing looked utterly calm, while Xia Zili’s expression was downright murderous.

Her temper was never particularly good, but she had endured her brother in every way possible. She treated the experience like playing a video game with an idiot, lowering her expectations as far as they could go.

Despite that, Xia Zili eventually slammed the pause button.

The girl lowered her head and took a deep breath, suppressing the overwhelming urge to punch the idiotic fat character on the screen to death. She tossed her controller onto the soft sofa.

She turned to look at Ke Mingqing and let out everything she had been bottling up.

”How long have we been stuck on this level? Do you just love torturing yourself? Can you take this slightly seriously?!”

Ke Mingqing caught the controller bouncing off the sofa. Unbothered, he fired right back.

”It’s because you suck. I can’t carry you at all.”

”Fine, then I quit. You can play by yourself from now on.”

Xia Zili shot him a withering glare, then picked up her phone and started scrolling through Weibo.

In the past, whenever she opened her Weibo feed, it was mostly filled with posts hurling abuse at her. Lately, however, everything she scrolled past was related to Blue Pigeon.

The screen’s glow reflected in Xia Zili’s eyes. Following the news reports about the underground bar incident, even more netizens had grown suspicious of her relationship with Blue Pigeon.

Speculation ran wild online. She did not mind it at all, reading the theories with great relish. Perhaps being cyberbullied had broadened her perspective, or perhaps there was another reason entirely.

Ke Mingqing had no time to deal with her.

Just as his sister had suggested, he was now playing the brutally difficult co-op game all by himself.

The boy held one controller in his left hand and another in his right, his ten fingers moving in a nonstop blur.

Xia Zili periodically glanced up from her phone. The two characters on the screen were cooperating flawlessly, acting as if they each possessed their own soul.

She began to doubt that a single person was actually playing. She turned her head, staring at Ke Mingqing in suspicion.

The boy was completely splitting his attention. His eyes were focused, his inputs flowing like water as he single-handedly forced the co-op game into a solo playthrough.

When he was playing with her, merely controlling one character had looked like it was taking half his lifespan. Xia Zili furrowed her brows, asking softly, ”Why didn’t you play like this when you were playing with me?”

”Because you’re too heavy to carry. Sucking at games is contagious.”

Ke Mingqing spoke as if stating a fundamental truth, his fingers never missing a beat.

Xia Zili stared blankly at him, her face filled with shock. For a moment, she genuinely wondered if she really was the problem.

’Fooled you,’ Ke Mingqing thought. ’I was actually busy having an intense battle with the Crow Man. Video games could never be as fun as reality.’ After a while, he quit the game at a checkpoint, set the controllers down, and turned to look at Xia Zili.

She was completely mesmerized. ”Since when were you this good?”

”Is it a crime?” Ke Mingqing shrugged. ”If you’re jealous, go ahead and try beating a level controlling both characters yourself.”

”Sure. I’ll play like that the day I develop schizophrenia,” Xia Zili muttered.

Ke Mingqing secretly clicked his tongue. ’Better not,’ he thought. ’Please don’t actually split off a witch personality just to play video games. That would be terrifying.’ The night was beautiful, so he dragged Xia Zili outside for a walk.

The two of them stopped along the water’s edge to skip stones. Amid the croaking of frogs, the surface reflected the silhouettes of the boy and girl, bathed in the clear, gentle moonlight spilling over their heads.

”Right, has Little Red Riding Hood sent you any WeChat messages these past few days?” Xia Zili suddenly asked, watching the ripples spread across the water.

Ke Mingqing nodded. ”Yeah, she shared a few videos with me.”

”Videos?”

”I’ll show you.”

Xia Zili raised an eyebrow and leaned over to look at the phone Ke Mingqing handed her.

She was greeted by a few videos An Youlu had forwarded to him, with titles like:

[The magical girl Ember You Never Knew: 100 Pieces of Ember Trivia! Comment for a chance to win one of 100 Ember T-shirts!] [Character Breakdown: How the magical girl Ember Became the Era’s Top Idol as the Pinnacle of Cold-Faced Cute.]

[”Magical girls aren’t idols, and superheroes aren’t cash cows!” Just how special is a magical girl who refuses to cater to the public eye? Let this blogger break down the psychology of the ’magical girl Ember.’]

Xia Zili’s face darkened. She scrolled up through the chat history.

Their chat history was incredibly monotonous. They had never even exchanged a single word of text:

Little Red Riding Hood would send a video, and Ke Mingqing would reply with a thumbs-up emoji. Then Little Red Riding Hood would send another video about Ember, and Ke Mingqing would reply with another thumbs-up emoji, over and over again.

It was like some kind of bizarre tacit understanding, or spies exchanging secret codes.

In this way, the two of them had maintained this highly cryptic line of communication for an entire week, never once breaking contact.

”Tell her she’s dead meat.”

That was Xia Zili’s immediate reaction upon finishing the chat logs.

She scrolled back and forth through the chat, staring at the endless chain of thumbs-up emojis, before whipping her head around to glare at Ke Mingqing.

Ke Mingqing remained completely unbothered. Whistling, he tossed another stone into the river, sending out a wide spray of ripples.

It was getting late. The siblings did not linger outside much longer before heading back home.

Ke Mingqing took a shower, changed into his pajamas, and threw himself onto his bed. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep to the sound of chirping cicadas and the distant rumble of the elevated railway.

It was another quiet night.

Over the following week, Ke Mingqing essentially had nothing to do.

It was the middle of summer vacation, and every day felt remarkably similar.

It was like Haruhi Suzumiya’s Endless Eight, trapped in a looping summer. If he wasn’t clocking in at the Hero Company, he was watching anime in the abandoned building with Bai Ziling.

Occasionally, he would go shopping with his family or ask Jiang Qingzi out for a meal.

Time flew by in a flash. It was now July 21st, and the countdown to the comet event was running out. [Good morning, esteemed player ’Ke Mingqing’. The current time is the morning of July 21st, Saturday.]

[Time remaining for the ’Exterminate Superhumans’ mission: 160 days and 16 hours.]

The bedroom was as stifling as a steamer that morning, the heat pressing down like a hand around his throat.

Ke Mingqing woke up drenched in sweat. The moment he opened his eyes, he knew there must have been a power outage during the night.

He hurriedly rolled out of bed, struggling to reach out and turn on the electric fan. As the blades whirred to life, he lifted the hem of his T-shirt to let the cool air hit his skin, finally breathing a sigh of relief.

A moment later, someone knocked gently on his door.

”Who is it?”

”Me,” Xia Lingxue replied.

Ke Mingqing paused. ”What’s up?”

”Are you free today?” Xia Lingxue asked, her voice as cold as ice. ”If you are, come see a movie with your sister.”

Ke Mingqing peeled himself off his tatami mat and went to open the door, casting a suspicious look at the young woman leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

”What movie?”

’You aren’t taking me to the theater to watch a recording of you torturing other players, are you?’ Ke Mingqing thought.

Xia Lingxue glanced up from her phone and said unhurriedly, ”Kill That Bill. It’s a re-release.”

Ke Mingqing tilted his head, testing the waters. ”What if I say I don’t want to go?”

”You could.” Xia Lingxue tilted her head, her tone dropping a fraction of a degree. ”But you’ll have to explain exactly what you plan to do instead.”

Ke Mingqing offered a crisp salute. ”Ma’am, I intend to sleep. I need sleep.”

Xia Lingxue lifted her gaze and stared unblinking into his eyes. She said, ”You’ll have plenty of time to catch up on sleep when you’re dead.”

A chill ran down Ke Mingqing’s spine. ”Fine, fine, fine, I’ll go.”

”How could you go see a movie without inviting me?” Hearing their voices, Ke Linye opened his door and stepped out of his bedroom, asking with a smile.

Xia Lingxue turned her head slightly and shot Ke Linye a glare.

Clearly, she still harbored a grudge over the family meeting from the other night. She remembered exactly how Ke Linye had fanned the flames at the dinner table just to enjoy the show.

”Come on, don’t hold such a grudge,” Ke Linye said, placing a hand on her shoulder. ”That’s all in the past.”

”It was a week ago,” Xia Lingxue reminded him.

”Right. I suppose that’s not very long,” Ke Linye shrugged.

Ke Mingqing headed into the bathroom to wash up. Squeezing out some toothpaste, he asked through a mouthful of foam, ”What about our little sister and Third Sister? Aren’t you going to invite them?”

Ke Linye let out a yawn, his eyes watering with sleepiness. ”They made plans to go to the mall. They left right after breakfast. You’re going to have to be a good boy and accompany your Second Sister.”

”And you?”

Ke Linye sighed. ”Since your Second Sister refuses to bring me along, I suppose I’ll just go sit at a cafe.”

Ke Mingqing didn’t even turn his head, merely flapping a hand at him in a shooing gesture. Ke Linye reached out and yanked his finger backward, making Ke Mingqing howl in pain. Not long after, Ke Mingqing changed into a fresh T-shirt and headed out with Xia Lingxue.

Xia Lingxue had booked tickets at the Old Jingmai cinema. It was very close, just two streets over.

The scorching sun hung high in the sky, bathing the entire street in blistering light. Passersby frequently turned their heads to stare, but most of those glances came from women, and they were not looking at Ke Mingqing. They were looking at Xia Lingxue.

Ke Mingqing had heard his eldest brother mention that Xia Lingxue received countless confessions from girls at her university, while the men largely kept their distance, deterred by her icy, unapproachable aura.

”I watched the recording of you on the school bus last night,” Xia Lingxue said suddenly. ”I didn’t realize that happened.”

”And?”

”Your brother sent it to me.”

”Oh. Are you going to lecture me about it too?”

”Your reflexes in the moment were quite good,” Xia Lingxue said. ”But a box cutter won’t pierce the hide of a super-human species. The second you tried to stab it, your blade would have snapped.”

Ke Mingqing shrugged it off. ”You never know until you try.”

”I know without trying.” Xia Lingxue remained expressionless. ”But I don’t intend to lecture you. Knowing to fight back is always better than just waiting to die, but—” ”But what?” Ke Mingqing raised an eyebrow.

Xia Lingxue kept her arms crossed and said coolly, ”But you shouldn’t have talked back to Rain Crow. Without him, you’d likely be dead.”

”Here it comes. Rain Crow’s fangirl finally shows her true colors.” Ke Mingqing pinched his nose in exasperation.

Xia Lingxue reached out and firmly clamped her right hand over the top of his head.

”My mistake, sister. I won’t do anything stupid like that again.”

”Good boy.”

Xia Lingxue ruffled his hair, then expressionlessly popped an Alpenliebe lollipop into her mouth.

As they walked, Ke Mingqing suddenly felt a faint vibration hum against his pinky finger.

He paused. Glancing down without changing his expression, he saw the phantom of the Red String of Fate materialize, stretching all the way to a distant street corner.

’Kuroki Hitomi is nearby?’

Ke Mingqing stared at the translucent red thread, mildly startled. He slowly raised his head to check Xia Lingxue’s reaction.

His Second Sister’s face was completely blank. It seemed she could not see the Red String of Fate.

”Oh... I see your girlfriend,” Xia Lingxue suddenly remarked.

Ke Mingqing’s heart skipped a beat, but he feigned ignorance. ”Where?”

”At the corner. She just walked into that alleyway, so I can’t see her anymore.” Xia Lingxue stared off into the distance. ”Do you want to invite her to the movie?”

”Forget it. You two have already clashed before.”

As Ke Mingqing spoke, he rapidly fired off a message to Kuroki Hitomi.

[Ke Mingqing: What are you doing here?]

[Kuroki Hitomi: Running a dungeon. Are you nearby? The Red String of Fate is reacting.]

[Ke Mingqing: Never mind me. Are the other players with you?]

[Kuroki Hitomi: Yes, they’re all here in this alleyway.]

[Ke Mingqing: My Second Sister already spotted you, so don’t make any sudden moves. Have the others leave first, then walk out alone and say hi to her.]

[Kuroki Hitomi: I can’t. The alley is a dead end. They can’t leave.]

Staring at the sentence on the Chat Panel, Ke Mingqing’s heart plummeted.

”Since we already ran into her, aren’t you going to ask what she’s up to?” Xia Lingxue asked calmly.

”I’m pretty sure she’s terrified of you.”

”Fine, then I’ll go apologize to her.”

Without another word, Xia Lingxue set off toward the alley. Ke Mingqing had no choice but to follow.

[Ke Mingqing: My Second Sister has met Li Chunchun before. If she sees him, she might get suspicious.]

[Kuroki Hitomi: So?]

[Ke Mingqing: Do this: have the three of them use their skills to escape the alley, then you walk out alone. Hurry.] [Kuroki Hitomi: If they use their skills to evacuate at this range, someone with your Second Sister’s strength will definitely notice the disturbance.] [Ke Mingqing: Then have the three of them enter the dungeon, and you stay behind.]

[Kuroki Hitomi: The dungeon has a player requirement. It takes exactly four people to open. What do we do?]

Ke Mingqing was completely dumbfounded, staring speechlessly at the Chat Panel.

Seeing that he and Xia Lingxue were getting closer to the alley, his mind began to race.

[Ke Mingqing: Then take them all and enter the dungeon together. Hurry, don’t waste time.]

[Kuroki Hitomi: Wouldn’t that just give your sister solid proof that I’m a player?]

[Ke Mingqing: I’ll handle it. Just do exactly as I said.]

The instant he sent the message, Ke Mingqing lifted his arm to wipe the sweat from his brow, using the motion as an excuse to shut his eyes.

[Skill ’Theater Puppet’ activated. Please select a spawn location within fifty meters.]

At that moment, a bird’s-eye view with a fifty-meter radius appeared in the boy’s mind, giving him an unobstructed look into the narrow alleyway. Kuroki Hitomi, Gu Mengqing, Li Chunchun, and Du Tingbei pressed their palms against a dungeon panel, and their figures instantly vanished from the spot. The alleyway was now completely empty, devoid of any people.

Seeing this, Ke Mingqing quickly manifested a Theater Puppet right in the middle of the alley.

Then, using his Disguiser talent, he altered the Theater Puppet’s appearance into that of a young woman with a tear mole.

She looked exactly like Kuroki Hitomi in every way, save for the fact that the puppet wasn’t wearing any clothes and stood completely naked.

Moving quickly, Ke Mingqing reached into his inventory and pulled out the MVP reward he had obtained from the ’Mirror Supermarket’ dungeon a few days ago—Mirror Clothing. [Item Name: Mirror Clothing]

[Item Grade: E Rank]

[Item Description: This outfit can replicate any piece of clothing you have seen within the last 60 minutes, though it cannot replicate the clothing’s stats or abilities.]

In a flash, the puppet was clothed in a black linen dress, identical to the one Kuroki Hitomi had been wearing moments before. Ke Mingqing controlled the puppet, having her bend down to pick up a plastic bottle from the ground before walking toward a trash can.

Right at that moment, outside the narrow alleyway, Ke Mingqing and Xia Lingxue reached the corner and simultaneously glanced down the path.

They saw a young woman with a tear mole, dressed in black, opening the lid of a trash can. She tossed the plastic bottle inside, then slowly turned her head. At that moment, her eyes met Xia Lingxue’s, and she froze slightly.

”What a coincidence. It’s you again,” Xia Lingxue said.

The girl with the tear mole nodded.

”My brother and I are going to see a movie. Do you want to join us?” Xia Lingxue asked.

The girl with the tear mole walked over. Adjusting her vocal cords to mimic Kuroki Hitomi’s cold, delicate voice, she shook her head and said, ”Sister, I have to go to cram school in a bit. You two go ahead.”

Ke Mingqing blinked, briefly unable to distinguish his own puppet from the real person. ”See, she’s busy,” he shrugged. ”You aren’t going to try and force her like you did last time, are you?”

Xia Lingxue tilted her head. ”Why do I get the feeling you and your girlfriend aren’t close at all? Don’t you guys share your schedules with each other?” ”That’s just how it is when you start dating! How intimate do you want us to be?” Ke Mingqing feigned embarrassment.

Kuroki Hitomi clasped her hands behind her back. Looking up at Ke Mingqing, she said softly, ”Let’s go see a movie together next time... if you want to.”

Ke Mingqing nodded. ”Sure. If you’re paying, I’ll go.”

Xia Lingxue bit down on her lollipop, her gaze suddenly dropping in temperature. She said, ”If you’re out of money, just ask me. Don’t be so spineless.”

Ke Mingqing shuddered. ”Yes, ma’am.” He paused, glancing at the time on his phone. ”Hey, the movie’s about to start. Stop dawdling, let’s get going.”

Xia Lingxue was quiet for a moment. She looked at Kuroki Hitomi, seemed to think it over, and finally said, ”Your name is Kuroki Hitomi, right? Goodbye, then. I’ll be taking this useless little brother of mine away now.”

”Goodbye, sister.”

Kuroki Hitomi nodded and waved at Xia Lingxue. She leaned against a convenience store signpost, quietly watching as Ke Mingqing and Xia Lingxue’s silhouettes vanished down the street.

”That was so fucking terrifying, holy shit.”

Kuroki Hitomi placed a hand over her chest, cursing internally.

Once Xia Lingxue and Ke Mingqing were completely gone, she picked out a route devoid of security cameras and slipped out of 4th Street.

She ducked into a small alleyway and unequipped the Mirror Clothing, returning it to the inventory. The naked body slowly began to shift.

Soon enough, the girl with the tear mole was gone, replaced by a ghastly, bone-white puppet.

”A puppet like this needs to be utilized to its maximum efficiency. Time for some recycling. I think I’ll go harass my eldest brother.”

White Jack grinned at the thought. The top hat suddenly began to spin, lifting him into the sky and flying toward the nearby Solomon cafe. He kicked the cafe’s wooden door open. Ke Linye was sitting inside, head bowed as he sipped his coffee, a magazine in his hands. With his back to the sunlight, White Jack took a step inside.

However, before he could even get close to Ke Linye, his body was abruptly sliced apart by rays of pitch-black moonlight, shattering into fine dust that scattered into the air.

”Is there really a need for such a passionate welcome?”

White Jack murmured softly. Deprived of a body, his head plummeted to the floor with a heavy thud, like an overripe apple. Fortunately, he still had his top hat. The hat began to spin, lifting White Jack’s severed head into the air, where it buzzed around Ke Linye’s head like an annoying fly.

”My dear Mr. Judge, I will gladly keep dying until you finally turn your head to look at me,” White Jack said. ”Is that not a form of devotion?”

”What a pity. I’m afraid you’ll be waiting a lifetime for me to turn around,” Ke Linye replied in a teasing tone, taking a sip of his coffee.

Just then, an elderly, white-haired man wearing an apron walked out of the kitchen.

Thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him, he took off his reading glasses and squinted, taking another look at the floating head.

”What in the world is that?” Zorro asked, looking at the severed head hovering in the air. He met White Jack’s hollow gaze.

”It’s nothing,” Ke Linye said casually. ”Just treat him like one of those mob enemies in a video game that respawns on a timer. He’ll pop up, tell a riddle or two because he has nothing better to do, and then respawn right after you kill him.”

”Oh, Mr. Judge, I actually know a man just like that. They call him the Riddler.”

White Jack’s top hat abruptly stopped spinning. His head plummeted out of the air, smacking heavily against the table.

”Oh, right, Mr. Zorro! I’m quite interested in your little revenge plot,” he said. ”Tell you what. Crazy Thursday is coming up. Spot me fifty bucks, and I’ll help you take revenge on those bastards at the Roundtable.”

Zorro walked over to the sink and dried his hands on a towel. ”We have customers coming in soon. Get rid of him.”

”Say no more.”

Ke Linye smiled faintly.

The moment he spoke, White Jack’s head was sliced apart by streaks of pitch-black moonlight, vanishing into nothingness.

”I’ll be back! Listen closely, I am going to come in here and die once a day until you agree to hear me out!”

White Jack’s voice still echoed through the air. Despite the threatening words, he sounded exactly like a toddler throwing a tantrum and telling his parents: If you don’t buy me candy, I’m going to jump off the roof!

”Did you hear that, Zorro? I just found you a new employee,” Ke Linye remarked carelessly. ”You should be thanking me.”

”Aren’t you a bit too old for this?”

Zorro sat down at the counter. He took a sip of his coffee and began reading the newspaper, acting as if nothing had happened.