Louis Collins: A Post-American Odyssey

After dinner, they gathered in Angelique’s room. The eight of them sat on the bed, the floor, and the armchairs.

“So,” Gladice said. “Who’s sharing with Louis tonight? Let’s decide.” She winked. “Or we could make it a party.”

“Let’s not,” Willa said. “I’m still tired from the tub. And from the day.”

“I’m tired too,” Donya said. “I need a good night’s sleep.”

“We need to be sharp tomorrow for the road trip,” Savannah said. “It’s a long drive. And we don’t know what we gonna find in Idaho.”

“Okay,” Gladice said. “No party. But I still want to share with Louis. I haven’t had him all to myself since we got back.”

“I want him too,” Angelique said. “But I think we should let someone else have him tonight.”

“How about we draw lots?” Willa suggested. “It’s the fairest way.”

“The boring way,” Gladice said. “Let’s play a game. Something fun.”

“Chess,” Cherish said.

“Only you would suggest chess, Cherry,” Gladice said, laughing. “What about strip poker?”

“I don’t know how to play,” Cherish said, her cheeks flushing.

“We can teach you,” Gladice said. “It’s easy and fun.”

“I don’t know,” Donya said. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

“It’s just a game, Donya,” Gladice said. “And we are all family here.”

“I know,” Donya said. “But I’m not feeling very playful right now. I’m still thinking about the Mormons. And the sex trafficking. It makes me sad and angry.”

“I get it,” Gladice said. “But we can’t let them control our emotions. We have to have fun. To live our lives. To be happy.”

“She’s right, Donya,” Angelique said. “We need to take care of each other and ourselves. Let’s play a game. Something simple. And not too competitive.”

“Let’s play Never Have I Ever,” Willa said. “With whatever we want.”

“That’s a good idea,” Savannah said. “And I got some questions for y’all.”

“But I don’t know how to play that,” Cherish said.

“It’s easy, Cherry,” Savannah said. “You just say something you’ve never done. And anyone who has done it takes a sip. Simple. And fun.”

“Okay,” Cherish said. “But how do you win?”

“You don’t,” Savannah said. “You just learn things about each other. And you get drunk.”

“I don’t want to get drunk,” Cherish said. “Papa got drunk once. He was not himself. Mama told him to sleep in the barn that night.”

“You don’t have to get drunk, Cherry,” Angelique said. “We can have sparkling wine. It’s light. And it’s the story that matters.”

Cherish nodded. “Okay. I’ll try.”

“So who gets to share Louis after that?” Maeve asked.

“I’ll decide then,” Louis said. “Based on who I want the most after the game.”

Gladice laughed. “I like the stakes.”

Savannah went to the bar in the corner of the room and came back with eight cans of sparkling wine. She handed them out.

“Alright, let’s begin. I’ll start,” Savannah said. “Never have I ever stolen something from a friend.”

Louis and Willa took a sip.

“What did you steal?” Maeve asked, looking at Willa.

“A key fob of my roommate’s car,” Willa said. “She bought a Mercedes in her first year at MIT. I wanted to try its self-driving features. And I was too proud to ask her.”

“Did you get caught?” Cherish asked.

“No. I returned it before she noticed,” Willa said. “But I felt bad about it. For a while.”

“What about you, Louis?” Maeve asked. “What did you steal?”

“Some bras and panties from my dates in high school,” Louis said. “As souvenirs. I kept them in a shoebox.”

Gladice laughed. “You’re a kinky bastard, Louis.”

“I was a teenager,” Louis said. “I was horny.”

“Nothing changes,” Angelique said, smiling.

“True,” Louis said. “Your turn, Willa.”

Willa looked at them. “Never have I ever… attended a protest.”

Donya took a sip. “I went to a lot of protests in college. Against the war in the Middle East. For climate change. For racial justice.”

“What was it like?” Cherish asked.

“It was empowering,” Donya said. “To be with people who cared about the same things I did. To raise our voices and demand change. Even if we didn’t always get it.” She looked around. “So no one else here has been to a protest?”

“Sweetheart. I’m the daughter of the mayor of New Orleans,” Gladice said. “Protesting was for the riff-raff and people who didn’t have access to real power.” She winked at Louis and Angelique.

Savannah shrugged. “Where I grew up, protesting would get you killed. Or worse.”

“Same here,” Maeve said.

“I almost went to a protest once,” Willa said. “Against the privacy laws in the EU. But I was sick that day. So I stayed home.”

“You were sick, or you were scared?” Gladice asked.

“Both,” Willa said. “I didn’t want to get arrested. And I didn’t want to be in a crowd. I don’t like crowds.”

“Fair enough,” Gladice said. “My turn. Never have I ever put a cucumber in my pussy.”

Cherish’s eyes widened, and she turned bright red. Savannah took a sip.

“Savannah!” Donya said, laughing.

“What?” Savannah rolled her eyes. “A girl gets curious sometimes. Don’t y’all judge me.”

“I’m not judging,” Gladice said. “I’m impressed. Did it feel good?”

“It was interesting,” Savannah said. “Cool. And smoother than I expected.”

“If I had a cucumber, I’d eat it. Not fuck it,” Maeve said.

“Different strokes for different folks, Mae-Mae,” Gladice said. “I, for one, prefer my cocks to be warm. And attached to a hot man.”

She looked at Angelique, who smiled. “Your turn, Angel.”

Angelique looked at them. “Never have I ever faked an orgasm.”

Gladice took a sip. “Only once. With a boring French journalist. He was so bad I couldn’t even get wet. But I needed him to write a good story about me. So I moaned a little and pretended. It worked.”

“Did you feel bad about it?” Donya asked.

“No,” Gladice said. “I felt bored. And relieved when it was over.”

Cherish stared at Gladice, her cheeks still red. “How do you… do that? Pretend? Doesn’t it feel wrong?”

“Not if it serves a purpose,” Gladice said. “And not if it’s just for fun. Sometimes sex is just scratching an itch. It doesn’t have to be a spiritual experience.”

“But it should be meaningful,” Cherish said. “With someone you love.”

“Not always,” Gladice said. “Sometimes it’s just animalistic and hot. And that’s okay too.”

“I… I don’t think I could do that,” Cherish said. “Pretend.”

“You don’t have to, Cherry,” Angelique said. “You should only do what feels right for you.”

Cherish nodded. “I will. Can I have a turn?”

“Sure,” Savannah said.

Cherish looked around. “Never have I ever… fed onions to pigs.”

Maeve took a sip. “I was assigned to the pigsty once when I was in the People’s Army. I fed everything we had to them. Potatoes, carrots, cabbage. And onions. They ate everything. After that they had digestive problems. My supervisor was pissed. I wasn’t allowed to have dinner that night.”

“That’s sad,” Cherish said.

“It was the People’s Army,” Maeve said. “It was always sad.”

“Not anymore,” Louis said. “You’re with us now.”

“Damn right,” Maeve said.

“Your turn, Maeve,” Savannah said.

Maeve looked at them. “Never have I ever had hamburgers.”

Cherish took a sip. “We had pork, chicken, and beef sometimes. But it was always cooked at home. We never ate fast food. Papa said it was a sin. To waste money on something you can make yourself.”

“He’s not wrong about that,” Willa said. “But he’s wrong about the burgers. Burgers are great.”

“Especially with bacon,” Gladice said. “And cheese.”

“I heard the toll regime had burgers for their patrols,” Maeve said. “Never had them.”

“We can have burgers for tomorrow’s breakfast before we leave then.” Louis looked at Angelique. “I think your kitchen can handle it.”

“Of course,” Angelique said. “The chef will be delighted. He was working in a fast food restaurant when he started his career in Navarre.”

“A chef with a culinary background in fast food.” Gladice laughed. “I like that.”

“Back in the 1980s, when he was a teenager, Navarre had its first fast food chain called ‘Le Burger Royal.’ It was a big thing,” she said.

“What happened to it?” Willa asked.

“I don’t know,” Angelique said. “Probably acquired by a French or Spanish chain after the revolution.”

“Maybe we can bring it back,” Louis said. “When we retake Navarre.”

“We can call it ‘Le Burger Collins.’” Gladice laughed. “With a big portrait of you on the wall. And a quote. ‘I never met a burger I didn’t like.’”

“I’m not that funny.” Louis laughed.

“You are,” Angelique said. “But I’m not sure you want to be the face of a fast food chain.”

“Why not?” Louis asked. “It’s better than being the face of a missile strike.”

“That’s true,” Willa said. “But still. Your turn, Donya.”

Donya looked at them. “Never have I ever prayed for someone to die.”

Savannah took a sip. “Prayed? No. Hoped? Yes. Many times. Especially for the Dixies. I hope they rot in hell.”

“Me too,” Maeve said. “Especially the toll dogs. But I never prayed. I just shot them.”

“That’s not a prayer, Maeve,” Donya said.

“I know,” Maeve said. “It’s a solution.”

Cherish took a sip. “I prayed for God to punish a preacher in town once. Papa said he had found out about one of our church gatherings. Everyone there was killed by the militia. I prayed for him to go to hell. I think he did. A few weeks later, he was found dead in the woods. They said it was a bear.”

“I’m sorry, Cherry,” Angelique said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “That’s a terrible thing to go through.”

“I’m fine now,” Cherish said, her voice low. “I have you.”

“We have you too,” Angelique said.

The room was quiet for a moment. Louis looked at Cherish. Her face was pale. Her hands were trembling.

“I will not let anyone hurt you again, Cherry,” Louis said, taking her hands and holding them. “I promise. I will protect you. And your parents. I will find them. And I will bring them to you. No matter what it takes.”

“Thank you, Louis,” Cherish said, looking at him. Her eyes were filled with tears. “I know you will. Because you’re a man of your word.”

“I am,” Louis said.

“Please stay with me tonight,” she whispered. “Just you and me.”

“Of course,” Louis said, kissing her forehead. “Of course, I will.”

He looked at the others. “I hope that’s okay with everyone.”

“It is,” Angelique said. “She needs you. And I understand.”

“I do too,” Gladice said. “Even if I want you tonight. But I can wait.”

“Me too,” Willa said.

“You owe me one, Louis,” Savannah said. “And I will collect.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Louis said, smiling.

Maeve rolled her eyes. “You’re all so dramatic.” She looked at Cherish. “But he’s right. You should be with him. You need it.”

Cherish nodded. “Thank you.”

“Alright then,” Savannah said, standing up. “Since the party is over, I’m going to bed. I hope it’s a comfortable one.”

“It will be,” Angelique said. “The maids have prepared your rooms. And they have put nameplates on the doors. So you know which one is yours.”

“Nameplates? That’s very thoughtful of them,” Willa said.

“We aim to please,” Angelique said. “Goodnight, everyone.”

Louis stood up. “How about a kiss before we go? For everyone.”

They gathered around him. He kissed Angelique, then Gladice, then Willa, then Donya, then Savannah, then Maeve. He looked at Cherish.

“Let’s go to our room,” he said.

She nodded. He took her hand and led her out of Angelique’s room. They walked down the hall and stopped in front of a door with a silver nameplate: ’Cherish Nowak.’ Louis opened the door.