Data-Driven Daoist

Day 200 | Year 99,903, 15/11 (Heavenly Regression Calendar) | Afternoon--Night

They stepped off the main stairs and into the forest, settling under the cover of a large tree.

Yu Han let Niu’er take her time. There was no rush. They had the whole day.

Wen Liujie, that twat. Yu Han liked the senior brother. But this was an old world with old morals. He was a product of his time. No use blaming him. Even Yu Han, had he not regained his memories, might have thought differently.

But he had regained his memories.

Wouldn’t he be agreeing with Wen Liujie’s sagely words if he was okay with having a colourful past, but got green-eyed if Huang Niuniu wasn’t a virgin?

“Niu’er,” Yu Han said. He clasped his fingers around hers; a tremor vibrated through her grip. He kept his voice low, using the steady, grounded tone Johan had used back on Earth when things got heavy. But he kept it gentle, like when Yu Han would talk to his niece. “Your past is your past. I... care... a lot, more than you know, about you. What I want is to be part of your present. And maybe your future.”

He squeezed her hands, grounding her in the here and now. “I suppose I should be clear. I don’t believe people can be ruined. This Brother Chu Fei, if you ever want to talk about him, I’ll listen, and I won’t judge. And if you never want to mention him again, that’s also fine. It doesn’t change what I see when I look at you, no matter what kind of relationship you had with him.”

“Really?” Tears rolled down her face.

“Really.” Yu Han would not share his life as Johan. If Niu’er was terrified of judgement regarding her own past, then Yu Han was paranoid. He was not proud of who he had been. There were practical considerations as well. Once the secret of his transmigration was out there, that was it. This world had mind control. Fang Zhao and Mistress Miao’s Ancestral Fang Ring had that psychic manipulation trap. If a malicious party used similar tactics against Niu’er in the future and learnt about him, Yu Han would be screwed. What if they thought he was an evil spirit? “There are things that I dare not share with you too. Will you judge me for it?”

Huang Niuniu shook her head like a kid promising she wouldn’t be naughty again.

“Why are you so worried, by the way?” Yu Han asked. “Remember the Mad Bloodhounds? That old guy said you were a virgin with your primordial yin intact—”

“Stop! Shut up. Quiet. Shush. Hush! Don’t speak, you smelly, rude, cute, fat, adorable, kid!”

“What I’m saying is—Hey!” Yu Han’s voice dropped. “Did you just call me fat?”

“Lalalalala, I can’t hear you! I’m three years older than you. Listen to your mother, she knows bes-—wait! No. Can I be your stepmother?”

“My father is a taken man.”

“Can I be your step-older-sister?”

What the hell? That’s sexy.

By now Huang Niuniu had cheered up, but there was still a lingering look of guilt. Her words were fragile, her demeanour chaotic.

It took more time for her to calm down. She wiped her eyes and redid her makeup. She also put away the box and the scroll in her storage ring.

They walked out of the forest and descended the stairs. Halfway down, a senior brother stood holding a large stone book.

He recited a mantra and pointed at a tree. It dissolved into motes of light that streamed into the book. He chanted again, and the tree returned.

“Light specks, the bark flakes. In the earth the daoist knows, the wooden grove with absence shakes.” The senior nodded. “Remarkable, if I do say so myself.”

It was someone they knew. Yong Lefan, the poetic and sarcastic inner sect disciple who had guided them during their sect orientation.

“It’s that guy,” Huang Niuniu said. “Him.”

“You forgot his name?” Yu Han asked.

“Of course I didn’t.” She shook her head. “He’s a senior brother!”

“You need to pay more attention.” Yu Han pulled her soft cheek. “Otherwise you shouldn’t get mad when people don’t pay you attention.”

“You’re ruining the makeup!” Huang Niuniu whined.

Yong Lefan’s gaze swept over them. At first, he paid them no heed, but as they neared, he furrowed his brows.

“You are...” Yong Lefan said. “Right! You’re my junior martial disciples!”

He doesn’t remember us either. Yu Han cast a quick glance at Huang Niuniu, who smirked.

“This one is Yu Han.” Yu Han clasped his fists. “And my companion is Huang Niuniu. We’re both rookies, external recruits. You guided us during the orientation.”

“Of course I did,” Yong Lefan said. “I got paid for it. To lead you to greatness is my duty as a senior, for the knowledge I have is nothing, for naught of those my prior. This Yong Lefan is just repaying what had been paid forward.”

“That’s so cool,” Huang Niuniu said. “I’m sure you’ve more than paid enough for whatever it is that you did for us.”

If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it’s taken without the author’s consent. Report it.

“Indeed, dare I say I land you in my debt,” Yong Lefan said. “But I am not so crude as to pursue my juniors for mere material wealth.”

“Senior Yong is gracious. This Huang Niuniu shan’t ever forget.”

“So tell me, my juniors,” Yong Lefan said, “of everything that has transpired since the orientation. Don’t leave any details out, such as who else was in the same group as you.”

These two... could be in a Broadway musical. Yu Han rolled his eyes. And Niu’er, you don’t need to butter up everyone you meet!

He obliged, concisely recounting everything from Gong Muhua to the Night Alchemists’ Yard to the Mad Bloodhounds and their current situation with the courtyard token. He left many details out, of course, like Fang Zhao’s secrets, Fei Rui, and Huang Niuniu’s bloodline.

“You have suffered,” Yong Lefan empathised. “That is the sect. Nobles throw their weight around, and it’s the commoners that suffer. I would draft a poem on the spot to mock them, but are they worthy?”

“Absolutely not, Senior Yong,” Huang Niuniu agreed. “Nobles are parasites leeching off the hard work of us normal people.”

“Could you even be more right?” Yong Lefan flicked his bangs. Most of his hair was bound in a topknot, but the guy looked slightly dishevelled. Did he come back from a scuffle or something? Why was he practising his arts in the open like this?

“I seem to recall Junior Huang is from a noble house too.” Yong Lefan raised an eyebrow.

“I disagree.” Huang Niuniu raised her hands. “My mother was bought with money and I was sold for change. I’m my own woman now.”

Yong Lefan crossed his arms and nodded. “Do you know where you went wrong?”

“C-Choosing my parents?” The question caught the girl off guard.

The blunt honesty caught Yong Lefan off guard, but he quickly recovered. “Not only have you ignored my warnings to pick a residence by the waste tanks, you even work in them.” He shook his head. “Your huts were burnt, but there were no eyewitnesses. Do you know why? It’s because most eyes cannot bear to witness cesspools.”

“Sure...”

“Furthermore, what is this?” He pointed at Yu Han. “Brother Yu, I had warned you of women trouble. Rumours of the Mad Bloodhounds have reached my ears too. If you hadn’t been so impatient to pick your dao companion, would you have gotten caught up?”

“I-Is it that obvious?” Huang Niuniu’s cheeks flushed.

“From eight miles away,” Yong Lefan said with disapproval. “Makeup may disguise your marks, but the tears cannot be hidden. Having marital trouble already, are you not?”

Huang Niuniu pursed her lips.

“It doesn’t matters,” Yong Lefan said. “The sect is in for major changes. Have you heard the most recent declarations?”

“That spirit beasts will become proper disciples?” Yu Han answered.

“I was just returning from an invitation round,” Yong Lefan said. He adjusted the strap suspending the Stone Book of Sealing from his shoulder. “Some spirit beasts are more agreeable than others, you see. It is nothing that an inner court disciple of the Heavenly Friendship Palace like I could not handle.”

“Senior Yong is awesome as always,” Huang Niuniu said.

Okay stop please. You’re laying it a bit too thick there.

“Hmm hmm, Junior Huang has discerning eyes.” Yong Lefan swam in the praise. “Tell you what? This Gong Muhua character. I’ll have a word with him if I come across his barbaric figure. Such sellouts to the noble cause will not have a good time. Although the sect master had to compromise by merging his Healing Mist Palace with the medical hall, did he not force the clan-controlled Unending Drizzle Palace to shift their banners? They are now our latest hall, the transportation hall. It’s none other than the Dawn Mist Cranes and us Heavenly Friendship Palace, controlled by those of commoner descent, that officiate the changes. No longer shall we bow our heads. The common-born shall rise against the parasitic behemoths!”

“The common-born shall rise against the parasitic behemoths!” Huang Niuniu said. “Aren’t halls, like, totally clan folks? Would the transportation hall be different?”

Yong Lefan coughed. “That unfortunately might not come to pass. The worms burrow deep. But who knows what may happen? The members of the past Healing Mist Palace are now part of the medical hall, and they are mostly commoners. Why, I would say nearly half of the hall’s practitioners are currently of commoner origin! That’s brings down the number clanskin we need to deal with by half. Though not all clanskin are the same, I must admit. Some are more like us, clawing in the dirt to one day find a chance to rise. Like you, Junior Huang.”

“And like Dong Tianlan,” Huang Niuniu said. “Do you remember her? And also Song Yinuo, and Shi Miao, and---”

“Yes, yes. Nobles breed like jackals in heat, none can argue the meat they bear---in fact, that might not be my place to comment,” Yong Lefan corrected himself halfway. “Junior Yu, Junior Huang, we shall meet again. It is always a pleasure knowing those I have guided have found a place for themselves, no matter how unlikely a place that is. Do concentrate on cultivation, rather than recreation. Dare I say, think least of procreation? It might also be the best of ideas to leave the night soil collectors? Perhaps one day you might join our Heavenly Friendship Palace. Or perhaps the Drifting Door or Clear Sky Palaces?”

“Oh, oh. I have one more question,” Huang Niuniu asked.

“You have twenty-five breaths. One, two---”

“Song Yinuo said that noble-descended inner court disciples prefer to live in the sanctum, while those of commoner descent prefer the city. Senior Yong, where do you live?”

“Or the proper question is,” Yong Lefan raised his chin. “Am I a noble?”

“Are you a noble?” Huang Niuniu asked.

“I am the son of a bookseller and once the attendant to a trash noble bastard stuck in the outer sect with his addiction to procreation and wasted refined talent. I have accorded two mighty companions, each of whom can slay him before he can breathe,” Yong Lefan said. His voice was laced with a conviction that came from the soul. “Junior Huang, the answer is in your question. Prefer. It is no law. Why should I bow my head to the parasitic behemoths? I am an inner court disciple like any other and I will not exile myself in the name of unspoken rules.”

He wished them good luck in their courtyard endeavours. And fortune for the tournaments.

What an interesting fellow.

There was that Geng Ziyao. He talked to them as if it was an offence to breathe the same air. Then there was Yong Lefan. He might as well have been the reincarnation of Lenin or Marx.

Tan Ruoxuan was a noble and also of the inner court, but she was more focused on herself, her job, and her partner. She had convictions of righteousness but did not seem to care how the world saw her.

Yong Lefan and Geng Ziyao did.

It was already late afternoon by the time they got back to the yard. They didn’t have duties today but covered for Fang Zhao’s absence. Along with Li Yao, they cleared five cesspools of their ghoulish residents.

“Two weeks,” Huang Niuniu grumbled from under the helmet. Her voice was too chipper for it to be a complaint though. “If that noble boy isn’t here, we make our courtyard with Fei Rui. That’s my first suggestion as the first and best vice-leader---”

Li Yao tripped her and she fell into the waste tank.

There was a fight, but Li Yao won.

“I found where Xu Jinshui and his gang live.” Li Yao handed Huang Niuniu the information as an apology. “Wang Daming’s case went viral. Everyone in the marketplace and the taverns is talking about it. Old Sun approached me for more information. Li Tieniu said he’ll look into the arsonist too. Tubs, you’re famous.”

“In a good way?” Yu Han asked.

“Mixed, I’d say. Some are calling you a sellout. Said the only reason Wang Daming’s gang got sent to the penal colony’s because you’re more chummy with the nobles than he was. Some’re pointing fingers at Red-Eyes, claiming he used his clan’s influence to bully commoners. There’s enough that called out their bullshit though. We gotta do what we gotta do to rise---”

“Rise against the parasitic behemoths!” Huang Niuniu exclaimed.

“---to the top... forget it.” Li Yao lost motivation to continue.

Fei Rui said that night. He had dug a large hole in the courtyard’s front yard.

Tonight was the night Fei Rui would tackle his tribulation.