Lord Shadow

Chapter 1687: Tangled

Sitting in complete Stillness and as he sits there, he begins to see things. Thing he never see before.

Insisting on seeking his Grand Path, forcing it, is like looking at a reflection of a flower on the surface of water.

When you grabbed it, you are grabbing the air.

Just be calm and let natura take its course.

Time is also fate.

Time is also destiny.

He had to defy it, but he also have to learn when to use it. When everything is satisfied, then the enlightenment will come.

And Azief clearly has satisfied some of its requirement

”Itʼs everywhere” he mutters to himself

He look at the area around him but his mind is thinking about many things. Things of the past.

Years and years ago. The Fall. The first death he saw. The zombies. He even remember his pet Badger.

He never took another pet since then. He knows that there is some that have Beast master ability and taming pet.

The most famous one is of course Boris.

But he never took a pet since then.

He did not think that he could protect his pet at the same time trying to survive.

This has something to do with what happened before the Fall

”Is that also a shackle?” he thought to himself. He never examine this part of him. But, there must be something hidden in his heart

Because since the death of that pet of his, even though he is now the world feared Death Monarch, he still did not take a pet.

”What stopped me?” he ask himself and he must answer it. This kind of state that he is in, does not allow lies.

You could lie to the world, you could give any reason to the world, you could war a thousand mask to show to the world but you must not lie to yourself

Because lying to yourself is the act of killing yourself. And killing yourself is the act of not knowing yourself.

If you did not even know what you want, what you desire, what makes you fear, what makes you ”you” then how could you ever reach the point where you could know your own path?

Know yourself.

And so, you would know your destiny.

And knowing yourself, you would know where to tread, where to walk, where to run and where is the path that you wanted to reach.

”Why?” he ask again and this time he answers

”Because I donʼt want to be responsible. I donʼt want to be in pain. I donʼt want to be blamed. I donʼt want to shoulder such heavy burden. The more attached I am, the more I blame myself” Azief thought all of this and he felt like something heavy is lifted out of his heart. He is honest to himself.

And the moment he decided to become honest to himself, old memories come rushing into his mind.

He remember there is a family of cat that usually roams around his house.

He likes cat.

He likes animals.

But he never bough any cat food.

Nor did he the cats any food.

Because the food in the house is not his to take. His family situation is quite weird. And it is not exactly amiable.

He and his mother did not talk for a long time.

And he is ostracized by his own family.

If there is only one person in the family that he could talk to, it is his father.

But there is also a bit of resentment there.

He has no money and the food is enough only for him. That....is the excuse he make for himself.

The truth was that he feared that once he gave food to these cats, he would get attached to it. And if he could not provide for these cats, he would feel very guilty.

So, he prefer not to start at all.

And that is probably the same kind of mentality when he no longer took any pet after Badger.

It is something that he is ashamed of. He wanted to be kind. He wanted to be good. But he himself knows that he is not that kind. Nor is he that good.

There is this choice that he has to make every day. Always floundering between wanting to be generous and being sailfish.

His mentality is that if he could not bring it to an end, it is better not to start at all. And it is also like that with other things in his life.

If he could see the end, and if the end is not good, then it is better not to start at all.

Of course, after the Fall, Azie learns and grows from this kind of mentality. Before, he thought that if he could not do it until the end he better not start. But later, he thought to himself that, one act of kindness is better even if you could not bring it to the end.

At least... you try. And that is what matters. You tried. Nothing could be achieved by doing

nothing.

Do something. And hopefully there would be changes. And if not......at least you try. And maybe that is the only thing you could do in life.

Try. Do something. Fight for something. Stand for something. Find something. And if what you find is wrong, then seek again. Seek and seek until you find the right answer.

And at that time, you could believe that you have lived a life worth living

And then, the image of Badger appears in his mind again

”I feel sorry for you. And I fear that if I find another pet, I would feel sorry for them again. I fear....that I would get attached. And attachment....is a scary thing” he mutters to himself Most animals that he could control now are mostly demonic animals and they are more like contracted beings than a pet so Azief is not that worried that those animals would die. But that is not the only thing he tries to remember. He remembers his meeting with Sofia.

With Loki. With Sina.

With all the people he had met before.

Na Eun. Harrison.

And the memories that come rushing into his mind is like a dream.

It felt like a handed of years had passed.

He remembers the years when he was at that other world, becoming something like a

superhero.

Harrison, Catherine

He remembers how he get a fragment of the All Source

He remembers the battle.

He remembers the six sabers. He remembers Azul. He remembers Meihul, the woman Azul

loved.

Of course, most of the memories of the six sabers that he had experienced is slowly fading away. Sometimes, he would even mix up the memory or make up new things that did not happen during the journey.

He remembers Xi Feng. He remembers that world and his other disciple that he had left in

that world of five elements. A world sealed in a palm

And he remembers what happens to the world when he returns back.

He remembers the Weronaic Occupation, he remembers that Werfeonian warrior,

Purunghasa.

He remembers the spear that cut off his life and nearly killed him. He remembers Katarina sacrifice, enchasing him in a mountain of ice.

More and more memories seems to be rushing back to him. Some of these memories are memories that he wanted to forget. Some of these memories are memories that he wanted to

keep.

Some he wanted to discard. But all of it seems to be revealing itself to him.

Like he had opened a Pandora box and nothing could be stored inside it any longer. And then

The look at himself again.

Look at the threads, the connection, the bonds that seems to transcend space and time. He could feel the tug of destiny and fate that reverberates in each thread and each connection

Karma. Cause and effect.

The threads are so tangled that cause and effect is hard to distinguish and who owes whom is

even harder to differentiate.

”Itʼs everywhere” he mutters again

And as he sat there, looking at the droplets of rain, reminiscing old memories, he could not

help but think of all these people that he met.

Some are strongly in his mind and in his heart, some are on the corner of his memories and on

the corner of his heart but all of these encounters in the past right now is dug up by his

memories.

But each one is connected to his fate and destiny.

Whether it is bad or good, it shapes him, and move him forward to his own path.

The people he meet shapes him just as he meeting them shapes their fate and destiny

Some people who met him is enriched by the encounter.

Some are fortunate. Some are poorer because they met him and some become unfortunate.

Some live because of him and some dies because of him

And just as him meeting this people affect their destiny and fate, these people meeting him

also affect his destiny and fate.

He thought of his meeting with Azul. That is a huge cause and effect. Meeting the Creator. The

Orvans.

The Etherna. More and more cause and effect. More and more Karma.

Tangled, connected. messy.

All of this is cause and effect.

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