Lord Shadow

Chapter 360: The truth he did not want to hear (2)

‘You don’t think I create poison pills and sometimes get backlash when my pills didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to be? That is a motherlode of energy impurities’

She sighed.

In her journey to become the world renowned Genius Alchemist how many cauldrons that she had broken and how many times she was poisoned by her own medicines and pills.

‘All of that accidents and incidents all contributed in the impurity of my energy. And because of that I have my own way of dealing with it. Of purifying it. And I would surely not like to be subjected under your pure energy’

Azief chuckles.

‘What so funny?’ Sina ask

‘At least now I know your weakness’ Sina hearing this instead of being flustered laugh with him. Azief was a little puzzled.

‘Why are you laughing?’ Azief ask. Sina answers

‘Do you even need to know that weakness of mine? With your prowess even if you don’t know my weakness, could I resist? My power and influence come from my ability of concocting magical and wondrous pills. But have you ever cared about that? I could count in one hand the times you ask me for a pill’

Azief laughed. And Sina laughed.

Then there is silence.

They look at each other. And then there is silence between them. Outside, the night own hoots are replied by another night owl.

The breezy wind of Pandemonium blows gently into the infirmary, ruffling Azief hairs and Sina robe.

They look at each other eyes and there is a question in Sina eyes and a guarded expression from Azief eyes.

Azief is a wearing bitter smile. Sina on the other hand, her eyes are full of determination.

Because now, Sina look at Azief seriously and Azief knows the time for joking is at an end. Sina look toward Sofia and Katarina and Azief got a premonition what Sina is about to ask him.

And then as cautiously as possible she asks

‘So….hmm…what are you going to do, Azief?’ Azief sighed. Truth be told, even he doesn’t know what to do.

He knows what Sina is talking about. He tried to avoid this question entirely but it seems Sina is determined to know his answer.

Because the question is not as simple as she thought and the answer is also not that simple.

‘About what?’ he said

Sina gestured with her finger at the woman behind her floating seat. Azief eyes glance over and he saw Katarina and Sofia. He sighed but Sina did not relent

‘Who is it going to be?’ she asks.

‘Katarina or Sofia?’

‘This…I..’ Azief like always stuttered when it arrived at this question. Sina shakes her head and let out an exasperated sigh

‘You don’t think this has been going long enough?’ Sina ask. Azief then try to give another excuse

‘I just don’t-‘ Sina cut his words and said

‘You are the most determined person I know. You did not even fear the Heavens and the world, but why such question make you feel such dread? It always puzzled me’

Sina lean back on her chair and looking at Azief like he is pitiful and she said

‘I sometimes just don’t understand that part of you. Is love…that terrifying?’ Azief was speechless. The night owl keeps making sound in the dark of night.

The wind blows breezily and the moonlight is obscured by the slowly moving clouds.

He thinks to himself. Why? Why did he still not make a choice? He thinks of this question because Sina ask him this question.

Then coming deep from his heart, he knows the truth. He has always known why he could never seem to pick one over the other.

He just never said it out loud. Looking at Sina determined face, he tell her why

‘I am always afraid’ he said in resignation

Sina let out a breath and ask

‘Death Monarch…. afraid? Afraid of what exactly?’

‘I am afraid of making the wrong choice. That’s what I’m afraid of’ he said

Sina look back from her seat as she took a glance at the woman behind her and sighed. She truly felt that both of these girls are good girls.

It is why she sighed.

‘Is there any wrong choice…whoever you choose?’ she throws this question to Azief. Azief let out a helpless sigh

‘There isn’t’ And with a bitter smile he explained.

‘And probably that is the problem. I would always wonder. It would be easier if one of them have some flaws…but they didn’t’

Sina thought in her heart. Love truly makes one blind. Both of them have flaws. Everyone have flaws. But in his eyes, this two woman probably have no flaws to speak of.

Love….it is truly crazy

‘I know that wishing for them to have some flaws sound petty and selfish’ Azief added and Sina chuckles.

‘Petty and selfish. You have always been like that. It’s nothing new. I think both of them know what they signed up for’ Azief could only show a bitter smile. Then he asks Sina

‘If I ask you to choose between those two who would you choose?’

Sina unhesitatingly answer

‘Sofia’ It did not take her even a second to ponder. Azief was shocked with this fast answer. Because he could never make such a decision because how hard it is for him

‘Why?’ he asks. Sina shakes her head and said

‘She’s my friend, you idiot. Of course I am going to choose her’

Then she looks at Azief and said

‘But, in the end, I am not the one that she loves and I am not the one she wanted to spend her life with. In the end, what I choose never matters. Don’t you have the answer already written in your heart, Azief? So why ask me?’

Azief was speechless. It is almost like he couldn’t hide anything from Sina.

Sina then look at Azief with her eyes mocking him and she said

‘The powerful almighty fearsome Death Monarch…crumbles in front of love. It is ironic really. I guess heroes really do like beauties. And beauties always end heroes’

Azief got up from his seat. He did not want to hear what Sina had to say anymore. It was like he is being pierced where it hurts.

He didn’t like that Sina is mocking him.

Since his rise as Death Monarch, he was never disrespected this much but he was also never being subjected to this much face slapping and mockery as it did now.

Sina is not like any other person that would fear the wrath of Death Monarch. Because she knew that Azief would never hurt her.

Only family knows each other this much. Sofia could never say it. Because she is no longer just Azief family.

She is someone who loves him. And love treated everyone the same. It makes Azief blind to her flaws, and as such it also made Sofia blind to Azief flaws.

Everyone in love in one way or another is always blind sometimes.

In this world, there is only a few people in the world that could talk this casually and rudely to Death Monarch and Sina is one of them

Sina laughs not caring about Azief tantrum and then she shouted a bit, her voice tone rises up

‘Let’s lay it out on the open, Azief. This is the truth you wanted to bury. It is the truth you don’t want to face. Are you going to run again? Because you don’t like what you hear? Or are you still hesitating?’ she asks.

This question attacked at the crux of the problem

‘There is no right answer’ Azief said as he turns and only his back could be seen.

But he did not yet go out. He wanted to storm out the room but Sina question make him rooted at the spot

Sina scoffed at Azief answer.

‘So, because there is no right answer, you didn’t want to answer it? Even though the question is right there? I call bullshit’ Sina said to Azief, sparing none of his feelings.

Azief remains silent. And that silence is very telling. Sina knows this silence. She always knew if Azief don’t want to say something no one could force him

But…that only works when he is with people that he doesn’t know. Sina knows better.

Sina sighed and said with an emotion that seems to mirror her own experience

‘In love, rarely there is a right answer. At least, that is what I learned’ Azief did not respond. He remains silent and Sina remains silent. Azief closes his eyes and then said

‘At least……Love shouldn’t have hurt’

Sina hearing Azief answer smiles bitterly and replied

‘But it always does. Love seems to always hurt. I guess that is how you knew it is real. It hurts because you care’

Azief hearing this seems to opens his eyes. But he remains silent. Sina sighed. Then she said

‘Or could it be that you did not want to make a decision and maintain this status of uncertainty until one of them gives up on you. Because that would be so much easier doesn’t it? Because then it would not be your fault. You would feel a little bit better if it happens like that right? Because you’re not going to be the bad guy right?’

Azief felt something hot rising up in his heart hearing Sina saying things like that

‘Are you testing them? To know who love you more? That is cowardly’ Sina said and the sarcasm in her tone is unmistakable. There is even disdain in it. Azief hearing this from Sina get ticked off.

‘I am not! I.AM.NOT.TESTING. THEM.!’

Azief shouted as he turns back to look at Sina and there is anger in his eyes. Sina was not scared. If it anyone else, they would have prostrated in front of Death Monarch.

Only people like Sina who is like family to him could look Death Monarch in the eye when he is angry and not being intimidated.

Sina only shakes her head and then she pointed her finger at Azief and ask him with pointed glare

‘Then why? Why are you still at the same place you are three years ago?’ Azief look at Sina, his chest heaved up and down and he closes his eyes as he tries to calm his raging heart.

Calming down he then said as calmly as he can to Sina

‘You……just don’t understand.’ Sina snorted in disdain.

‘You bet I don’t. Seriously, I honestly don’t understand. I couldn’t speak for Katarina and I don’t want to speak for her. It might be biased but I don’t know her. But I know Sofia. I knew she grieved you more than anyone when she thought you were dead. But you didn’t know that did you?’

Azief somehow was shocked to hear this. Like Sina said, he did not know about this. Because when he was in the Mountain of Ice, she never once visits.

Sina continue

‘Many people believe you were dead when you are entombed in that mountain of ice. Even I would have believed it if not because I trusted Loki words. Most of your people also believe in it and some of them even join other factions because of it.’

Sina voice become hoarse and her eyes have some tear son it as she said

‘But that idiot girl, she didn’t want to believe any of it. She refuses to grieve for you’ And Sina shook her head as she declares.

‘She was a fool then. She is a fool now. When it is about you, she becomes a fool. I knew what she was feeling. At least I think I understand it pretty well compared to others’

Then she added

‘She was never one hundred percent certain that you were alive. Probably in her mind she thinks you were dead. But I know that her heart couldn’t accept it…if your death was the truth. So, she refuses to mourn, refuses to grieve and instead she resorted to loving a ghost. A ghost of you. Every memory you have with her is like a curse. Because you weren’t there beside her anymore and as such every happy moment, every memory of joy turns into an excruciating pain of longing’

Sina becomes even more emotional as she could remember the Sofia back then

But like a story that needed to be told, Sina continued her story. Because she knows she needs to tell this story. Because Sofia would never tell him this.

Both of them have too much pride.

***

She is far from over. Anyway, hope you like the chapter and leave some comments