I Became a Witch in a World Full of Urban Legends

Morning at the Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau.

In a pristine white room, the scent of disinfectant mingled with blood, while heavy metal music reverberated through the air.

An Qing stood before a silver dissection table, a lady’s cigarette dangling from her lips, a slight smile playing on her face. She might have seemed like a lady reminiscing about a lover, if not for the chainsaw in her hand and the skull-split corpse before her.

The door to the dissection room swung open, and someone stepped in, standing behind her.

“So, what have you found?” Bai Kai asked.

An Qing set down the bloodied chainsaw, turned to Bai Kai, and smirked. “It’s a Guan Gu modified with Spirit Pattern abilities, likely related to the Five Plagues God. However, many people in Miao-populated areas possess such skills, making it hard to pinpoint the source.”

“The sample size is too small. If we had more, I might be able to track down the culprit.”

As she spoke, she picked up a cup filled with crimson liquid from the dissection table and took a sip, her lips stained a vivid red.

“But you know, attacks like these have happened before. It’s likely a transient crime with a low chance of recurrence.”

“Let’s hope so,” Bai Kai replied calmly.He glanced at the dismembered corpse on the dissection table, then at An Qing’s drink, his expression showing slight discomfort.

Drinking strawberry-flavored juice in a dissection room? A thought that carried no small irony, coming from a man who’d once eaten instant noodles at a murder scene.

At Hua City University of Technology, in the Liberal Arts Building.

With finals approaching, professors had already covered the semester’s material, leaving the last few classes for self-study.

In such circumstances, many students chose to skip class, leaving the once-full classrooms half-empty.

Yang Yi and his small group were among those who “evaporated.”

Lu Yibei, however, chose to stay and study diligently, seizing the rare opportunity to review in peace.

Despite the bizarre events of the past few months, he still aspired to earn his degree, open a bar back home, and write self-help books for profit.

Two hours of class flew by.

As the bell rang, Lu Yibei stretched, stood up, and sent a message to Du Sixian on his phone.

Lu Yibei: “Comrade, how’s the mission going?”

Within a minute, he received a reply.

Du Sixian: “Don’t worry! I’ve found the people you mentioned and will complete the task!”

Lu Yibei noted the confidence in Du Sixian’s message, furrowing his brow slightly.

So confident? He thought, putting away his phone and heading to the library for more study time.

However.

After settling in the library and reviewing for about twenty minutes, Du Sixian sent another update.

Du Sixian: “Success! Although I haven’t asked them about the haunting game yet, they’ve invited me to their pre-finals party tonight! I heard there’s a dare game.”

Lu Yibei, “…”

A party before exams is one thing, but why play a dare game?

Don’t they know curiosity killed the cat?

Sigh, today’s college students will do anything to avoid exams!

Lu Yibei thought, picking up his phone to reply to Du Sixian.

Lu Yibei: “That fast? [Question mark face] How did you do it?”

Du Sixian: “It was simple! I found them posing with a sports car at the campus entrance, struck up a conversation, and that was it.”

Lu Yibei: “That simple? What did you say?”

Du Sixian: “I said, ‘Excuse me, could you move? I need to park my car.’”

Lu Yibei’s eyebrow twitched as he read Du Sixian’s reply, his hands instinctively clenching, almost crushing his phone.

Ah, the ugly face of wealth?

With people like this…

Is there any choice but to befriend them? Lu Yibei wondered.

After leaving the university, Lu Yibei headed to the Hua City Folk Culture Administration Bureau, retreating to his office to juggle paperwork and exam preparation.

Around 3 p.m., he left his desk to stretch and made his way to the special task force’s training room.

Bai Kai, having learned that Lu Yibei was investigating He Liang’s death, obtained the relevant files and consulted with the special task force members. Determining the risk to be low, he decided to let Lu Yibei handle the investigation independently.

In Bai Kai’s view, as a newcomer to The Midnight Watchers Society temporarily filling the role of main operator, Lu Yibei had a long road ahead. Perhaps one day, he would fill the vacant seat in Hua City’s society. Practicing on easy targets was a good start.

To successfully complete the investigation, building rapport with the special task force members was essential.

How hard could it be to get along with these macho guys?

After all, who’s not a tough guy…

Standing at the training room door, Lu Yibei mused, but as he pushed it open, he froze.

Inside, the room was filled with the tangible sound waves of bass-heavy music, stirring a blood-pumping rhythm.

And then he saw them-muscle-bound hulks, their bodies glistening with sweat.

“What the hell… is this?”

Lu Yibei was dumbfounded. The special task force’s training room was nothing like the training ground Jiang Li had shown him before.

Under the yellowish lights, burly men in shorts and vests were engrossed in their workouts.

Bench presses, rope slams, weighted squats, boxing, wrestling, mixed martial arts…

This place was a paradise for real men, complete with Smith machines, octagonal cages, and countless barbells of all sizes.

Even the barbells started at a minimum weight of 20KG.

The men roared and sweated to the beat, their muscles and sweat forming a torrent that surrounded the small, helpless Lu Yibei, taunting him with silent jeers-“You call yourself a tough guy?”

Lu Yibei, “…” Sorry, I don’t.

“Ahhh-!”

A scream echoed from afar, and Lu Yibei turned to see two shiny, muscular men grappling in the octagonal cage, their limbs entwined. His heart skipped a beat.

Oh my, I shouldn’t have listened to Shui-Ge and come to this place.

Just because he likes it doesn’t mean I do!

Better leave while I can.

Like a rabbit in a bear’s den, Lu Yibei wanted to flee, but a familiar voice stopped him.

“Operator Lu? Where are you headed?”

Lu Yibei turned to see the sturdy man he had met at the textile factory yesterday. Just as he was about to explain that he had entered the wrong place, the man spoke first.

“Oh, I remember now. Operator Bai mentioned you wanted to be friends and would visit sometime.” The man smiled warmly. “By the way, I’m Qi Dong. Nice to meet you!”

He extended his hand to Lu Yibei.

“…”

Lu Yibei quickly shook Qi Dong’s hand, like a dragonfly skimming the water, and withdrew it just as fast.

Seeing Lu Yibei’s silence, Qi Dong pondered for a moment, then grinned and picked up a barbell loaded with fifty kilograms, offering it to Lu Yibei with enthusiasm.

“Since you’re here, why not join me for twenty sets of deadlifts? Let me tell you, deadlifts are the best!”

Lu Yibei, “???”

To hell with “the best”!

Who welcomes guests with deadlifts? And with a 100KG barbell…

If you want me dead, just say so!

Lu Yibei thought, but before he could protest, Qi Dong handed him the barbell and picked up a 200KG one, starting his deadlifts.

“Come on, Operator Lu, follow my lead… Three, two, one, go!”

“Again, protect your back! Three, two, one, go!”

Lu Yibei frowned, looking at the barbell that strained his arms, then at Qi Dong’s calloused, fan-like hands…

With hands like those, he could crush a haunting with a slap!

If it were me, I’d be on the ground for ages.

Nervously, Lu Yibei tried to mimic Qi Dong’s movements, successfully completing a deadlift.

“…”

Hmm? Not as hard as I thought?

Is it because my body is enhanced by Spirit Patterns?

Lu Yibei raised an eyebrow, feeling a bit smug.

Looks like I can barely qualify as a tough guy!

And so…

He spent the entire afternoon training with Qi Dong in the special task force’s training room.

As dusk fell, he quietly slipped out of the training room, took a cab off Mudan Street, found a secluded spot, and halted the haunting transformation process.

Whether it was his imagination or not, after such intense exercise, he felt slightly more agile when he stopped the haunting transformation, as if his psychic energy had revitalized his body.

Could this be what the Great Serpent God’s knowledge referred to as strengthening the body to fix flaws?

Did Shui-Ge send me to the special task force’s training room for this reason? Lu Yibei wondered.

At 8 p.m.

After grabbing a fitness meal at the special task force’s cafeteria, Lu Yibei returned to his office and received a text from Du Sixian.

Ignoring the details of Du Sixian’s extravagant afternoon with Yang Yi and others, he quickly extracted the key information from the message.

Golden Sands Hotel… Presidential Suite… Haunting game starts at 10:30…

Lu Yibei silently repeated the key details, checked the time, and dialed the special task force’s number.

“Hello? Brother Qi? Yes, it’s Lu Yibei. There’s an operation later, could you bring the guys along?”

“Yes, it’s the haunting related to He Liang’s death! Equipment?”

The special task force members were straightforward, hot-blooded men. By demonstrating enough strength, Lu Yibei had earned their respect and boosted his rapport.

So, after a workout, Lu Yibei had bonded with Qi Dong over three bottles of experimental “healing red potion” and five spicy strips, triggering the hidden storyline-[The Friendship of Macho Qi Dong♂], while politely declining an invitation to wrestling practice with the excuse, “I have something to do, next time for sure!”

Though he unlocked the hidden storyline, this bizarre strategy was best left untouched!

“…”

Hearing the special task force member ask if he needed equipment, Lu Yibei paused for two seconds before replying, “I’d appreciate it!”

After all, if it’s on The Midnight Watchers Society’s dime, why not?

Besides, in a situation where he couldn’t fully use his psychic energy, Lu Yibei was eager to experience the thrill of taking down a haunting with an automatic rifle.

On the other side.

Not long after nightfall, near Hua City’s University Town, inside a shopping mall that had just closed for the day.

As the security guard locked the doors and left, and the last light flicked off, the mall was plunged into darkness and silence. Shadows stretched across the winding corridors, and the tightly shut shop doors seemed to conceal lurking phantoms.

Time passed. Minutes felt like hours.

“Click-click-!”

A faint sound broke the stillness, like something stiffly moving its joints. Accompanying the sound, the door of a men’s clothing store creaked open, and several pale figures darted out.

They were humanoid mannequins-faceless, unclothed, and eerily lifelike.

With unnatural movements, they sprinted through the mall, eventually gathering at the courtyard’s central fountain. Just then, a low growl echoed from the shadows.

“Stop right there! You are surrounded. Let me formally inform you: this territory has been claimed by us through the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts. You have two choices-join us or become tonight’s dinner!”

“Growl, growl, growl-!”

The mannequins emitted guttural noises from their hollow chests, scanning their surroundings nervously. Soon, they noticed countless pairs of crimson eyes emerging from the darkness.

Footsteps followed, and a group of small, grotesque hauntings stepped forward. Floating white dresses, oversized eyeballs, sharp dentures, and bloated hairballs-they were none other than the hauntings from Lu Yibei’s home.

Trailing behind them were scores of weaker hauntings, ranging from Non-graded to D-level. Hair-covered cockroach rats, cats with dog heads, hands lurking under beds, coin-stealing sprites-a chaotic swarm numbering over a hundred.

Faced with such overwhelming numbers and sensing the sheer volume of psychic energy fluctuations, the mannequin hauntings hesitated for a few seconds before kneeling before the four leading hauntings, bowing their heads in submission.

Seeing this, Lu Yibei’s four hauntings quickly assembled into a humanoid shape and nodded approvingly at the mannequins. “Excellent. Welcome to the family of the ‘Messenger of Love and Peace, Model of Morality and Conscience, The Witch Warriors of Handsome Men and Beautiful Women!’”

“Now, I declare that after Jingyi Apartment Complex, Normal University Affiliated Elementary School Cafeteria, and the University of Technology Residential Market, our territory has expanded to include the Jia Mall! This is a monumental victory!”

“Tomorrow, same time, everyone gather at the third manhole cover next to the snack shop at Normal University Affiliated Elementary School. Together, we shall advance toward the underground parking lot!”

“Ohhhh-!”

“￥%@&￥-!”

Amid a cacophony of bizarre, unintelligible haunting cheers, the gathered hauntings scattered throughout the mall, vanishing without a trace.

Meanwhile, on the top floor of the mall, a pair of eyes watched the scene unfold below.

Gu Qianqian observed quietly as Lu Yibei’s hauntings claimed the mall through the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts. Her lips pursed, and her brows furrowed into a tight knot.

“Systems, is this what you call the Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts? Why does it feel… not as dangerous as you described?”

Systems, “…”

How would I know that the calamity’s minions would be so utterly lacking in flair?

A Night Parade of this pitiful scale? In all my lifetimes, I’ve never seen anything so small.

A parade that doesn’t even cover a hundred meters? What’s the point? A slightly stronger haunting could just release their psychic energy and cover the whole area!

Systems grumbled internally, clearing its throat before responding, “Gu Qianqian, this ultra-miniature Night Parade of a Hundred Ghosts is an exception. Normally, it’s not like this.”

“If I had to compare, this would be like elementary school kids having a brawl, whereas a typical Night Parade is at least on the scale of modern warfare with tens of thousands involved.”

“…” Gu Qianqian pondered for a moment before saying, “So, you’re saying Lu Yibei is just the leader of elementary school kids? Then why did you say I couldn’t beat him?”

“I’m amazing at beating up elementary school kids!”

Gu Qianqian exclaimed, throwing a couple of air punches with gusto.

Systems scoffed in disdain, “Tch! Getting tricked by third graders into fighting fifth graders-how can you even bring that up? I’m embarrassed for you!”

“I didn’t want to go, but he offered too much,” Gu Qianqian muttered weakly.

“Just twenty yuan1!” Systems snapped, then calmed itself before continuing, “Forget it, Gu Qianqian. I don’t have time to dredge up old grievances. Stick to the plan!”

As long as these creatures grow stronger and the Night Parade’s range expands, the calamity will inevitably be dragged into the fray! Systems thought.

“Hmm…” Gu Qianqian mulled it over before replying, “Alright!”

With that, she donned the Face-Changing spell formation solidified mask, leaped from her hiding spot, and gracefully landed in front of the departing hauntings.

“Do you crave power?” Gu Qianqian asked in a low, dramatic voice.

“…”

After a brief silence, the hauntings responded in unison, “No!”

What followed was a chaotic chorus of individual replies:

“I crave freedom!”

“I crave Hermione Granger!”

“I crave Shrek!”

…

Gu Qianqian, “???”

“Wait, this isn’t what you told me would happen!”

Systems, “…” How would I know that even the calamity’s hauntings would be as ridiculous as her?

Footnote:

Yuan(元): Yuan (yuán) is the basic unit of currency in China. The symbol for yuan is ¥, 1 yuan ≈ 0.15 USD.