Time Holders: The World of Balance

”A-Aldrus?! Aiden?! Where are you?! Cedric?! Anyone?!”

*SMACK*

***

I had been trudging along with my classmates for days. I’ve grown to enjoy their company all this time. I knew I could count on them since the very moment our lives took a turn. I knew they wouldn’t leave me, or ignore me, or make fun of me, or leave me behind. Aiden is shy and kindhearted, Cedric is annoying and sometimes even rude, but he is a good, reliable person.

... And then there’s Aldrus.

He’s the kindest of them, but also the most self-loathing. Maybe he doesn’t see it himself, and maybe he does not suspect I see it in him either. But I know it’s true. That boy is an enigma.

It’s been three months since I met him—that morning in my room. Our room. I remember feeling somewhat scared, or rather, uneasy. Since the moment he opened that door, everything about him felt memorable in a weird, impossible way. He wore the eyes of a blind man, but he saw better than anyone else. He smelled like leather, sadness, and the kind of perfume an adult man leaves in an empty elevator, just for you, before heading back home.

I remember every word he said to me, from the first to the last. On the exterior, he acts and looks like a normal boy, a little awkward, fairly smart, and with the vague remnants of childhood’s innocence. But I saw through that.

I wasn’t scared because my roommate turned out to be a boy; I trusted the Academy. I was scared because the sight of him awoke something in me. It felt...feels like a memory. Like I should know him, or had known him for a lifetime. It feels like I owe something to him, and he owes me. It feels terrible, because there’s a sense of missing in my heart, but even though I have him right before me, I don’t know whom it is I miss.

The best way I can describe it is... he just feels like family, and that terrifies me. My own family doesn’t feel as such to me, and that’s why it terrifies me. I had thought of ignoring him, or maybe even cutting ties. Ties that hadn’t even formed. Yet I couldn’t do it, and instead I donned the mask of a nice girl and talked to him first. I just couldn’t help it; I wanted to know more.

Who are you? Why do I want to tear the world apart to get away from you, while at the same time push through the ocean and the Guardians just to get close to you?

While the answer hasn’t come yet, the mask I had worn that first December morning quickly fell and shattered in a million pieces. I realized I really wanted to be your friend. I felt bad seeing you help me as I tried to look for secrets through you. I’ve convinced myself the world doesn’t want me to know the truth yet, and I’ve grown to care for you truly. I’m sure I’ll have my answer one day, but until then, I hope you let me be your friend. I hope you don’t mind me fighting by your side. I hope you don’t push me away.

***

It’s cold.

Am I alive?

It took me a while to realize I was unconscious. Slowly, I opened my eyes. Everything was buzzing in my ears, everything blurring in my sight. I fought to achieve the crisp mind of the unharmed, but a close gurgle kept me pinned into the mud.

Uhhhghgg!

The moment I craned my neck to check my body, I was forced to suppress an urge to vomit. My head spun, and the world tilted from left to right like a scale. Then the cold had its second round and permeated into my skin all at once, adding shivers to my dizziness.

The seconds passed, and I gradually came to my senses and managed to bring myself into a sitting position. I gave a quick look at my torso, arms, and legs and was relieved to see no sign of wounds. Aside from an obvious concussion, that is.

Before long I looked around and remembered I’d been separated from my friends. It’s not like there was anything to look at save for fog, but my palms had grown accustomed to tugging at Aiden’s clothes. The mere fact that I’d passed out and lay hurt, thrown to the ground, was enough confirmation that I was alone.

I had the feeling I had dreamt of something close to home, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Regardless, ever since I woke up, a nasty feeling had been creeping upon me, and knowing that the sources were my own insecurities only helped to feed it, growing into fear and guilt.

”They didn’t abandon me, did they?” and the sort were the things I tried to bury somewhere in my soul. Maybe I hoped souls had a dark side where I could toss those thoughts away.

”Have I been a bother?” ”I must’ve been dead weight.” ”Cedric grew tired of me; I should’ve been nicer to him.” ”What if Aiden didn’t like me from the start?”

No... No, that’s not it. It can’t be. They aren’t like that! I know they’re not!

Something was wrong. I couldn’t control my thoughts at all.

I yanked at my hair as if trying to rip a lock off—and as if that pitiful action were some sort of magic spell, I managed a semblance of clarity.

In that split second, I stood up and drew my sword from its sheath. I clove the blade into the dirt and glanced over the hilt in search of whatever had been taking hold of my mind.

”W-Who’s there?!” I called through trembling teeth.

At first only the mist answered, but I tightened my grip and tried again.

”Come out!” I said. And this time, a faint shadow flickered within the cloud.

I immediately mustered the strength I did not have, picked my sword up, and pointed the tip directly at the stranger.

”Okay,” it said.

What?!

I opened my eyes to their fullest extent. I knew that voice.

”It’s okay,” it said again, in such an off-putting tone I thought perhaps I was still dreaming, but the pain on the back of my head told me otherwise.

I parted my lips and spoke, ”Y-You—”

”Alice,” it cut me off.

I knew it. I knew it! I knew that voice!

”Aldrus! I’m here!” I called, a comforting warmth growing in my chest. But that flame wouldn’t last too long.

As I jogged toward the shadow, soon I came to realize something that made my blood run cold.

That was not Aldrus.