Striker of The Gods

El Clásico – Santiago Bernabéu

“Caos didn’t conquer Barça. On the contrary, he made them beg for more: he was a colliding comet, crushing their hopes or as we would rather say he made them bow before the true emperor of the world. As he crushed them His eyes unraveled them. He glimpsed Yamal’s ghost-pass before it haunted, inverted the topology with a fractal nutmeg, and intoned, ‘In chaos, all threads converge.’ Huh…The Bernabéu? A cathedral of collective gasp that no one could actually house.”

— Marca

They got to the Bernabeu, Mat and Yamal were pretty aware of what was happening in the gigantic stadium. In this encounter, Ronaldino and Figo were in the stairs. Despite the hate, they got separate stair from their respective rivals. This was unprecendented. This had never seen in a match. After all, no one could ever expect these legends to such a match.

Ronaldinho: sniff… HAHA! This is going to be a legendary event and how bombastic I expect it to be cannot delay what I had done in a thousand years.

Figo: Voce e right! E un partidinho molto bonito cum la madre mia. Despues todo, nos ha dado el tiempo tio por la Hermosa Aventura de la vida. El joga bonito sta aqui.

1st Goal: 75m plasma-arc free-kick, chaos eyes lensing the ball through atmospheric refraction like a wormhole shortcut like fire in the veins of fate.

Ronaldinho: Chaos ist the best: no one could ever take on him. It is really an opportunity to see him playing. I did not really think I could say this, but… GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLL….

Figo: E un partido molto gostoso. HAHAH! I knew you would like it. After all, we have the best player in the world playing in the world for the greatest creation of the world.

2nd Goal: Eclipse Helix dribble—six defenders looped in a perceptual vortex, ball emerging unscathed for a thunderclap volley that no one really expected since Uruguays first world cup that we could all remember due to how good it was based on the statistics that were given to us: in that way, this got popular, getting 70000 views on Instagram.

3rd Goal: Shadow Puppet assist to Rodrygo—puppeteered the midfielder’s run via eye-locked empathy, then eclipsed the keeper with a phantom chip that we could hold up to new standards. After all, this shift made everyone cry. They could not believe what they were looking at the middle of the stadium

4th Goal: Mid-air Eclipse Spin, backheeling a rebound into a no-look curler in the abyss.

5th Goal: Penalty eclipse—feinted the dive, then phased the ball through the wall’s density for the legendary greatness of life. After all, it had shocked everyone.

6th Goal: Overtime odyssey: solo weave through 11 souls, finishing with a solar-flare rabona.

Ronalinho: well, this is done. There is a clear winner here. We can go back to the hotel. I would like to talk to Chaos after this match. Since he did it that well, he deserves the best that we can actually provide him with: on his way to the top of history, we should let him know how much he matters to us.

Final Score: Real Madrid 8–0 FC Barcelona

Man of the Match: Caos

Speed Clocked: 158.7 km/h (rewrote physics textbooks overnight)