I Stopped Simping and the Heroines Lost Their Minds

The armored corpse slowly raised its head.

It was human-sized, lacking the absurd bulk of the crypt guardian, but the threat was immediately obvious. It wore high-quality plate armor that had survived the centuries of damp air surprisingly well.

The faded carving of a sunburst—Saint Orlan’s crest—covered the center of the breastplate. It held a long, blackened spear in both gauntleted hands.

It rose from the stone steps with smooth, efficient movements, the heavy plates barely scraping against each other.

Arthur recognized the boss.

In the game, the Keeper was a straightforward encounter. It maintained distance with the spear, punished players who rushed straight in, and periodically retreated toward the sarcophagus to reset its pattern. Its only major flaw was a brief opening after one specific, heavily committed thrust.

Arthur drew Whisperwind. ”Don’t chase when it backs up.”

Emily locked her gauntlets together. ”Why?”

”Because it wants you to.”

The Keeper stepped off the dais.

Emily closed the distance. The Keeper gave ground smoothly, letting her commit before snapping the blackened spear forward with a sudden, unnatural burst of speed and reach.

Emily was ready for it. She slipped sharply off-line, and the spear tip punched through the empty air where her chest had been a fraction of a second earlier.

Arthur released his arrow.

The physical shaft hit the Keeper’s breastplate, sparked against the tempered steel, and deflected harmlessly into the darkness. The armor was too thick for standard ammunition.

Chloe moved along the perimeter, her staff glowing with a faint, stabilizing light. A short pulse of warm magic washed over Emily, taking some of the fatigue out of her legs.

For the first thirty seconds, the Keeper moved almost exactly as Arthur remembered. Every time it tried to counter Emily, Arthur already had an arrow waiting, forcing the spear aside before it could finish the attack.

The Keeper parried a heavy gauntlet strike and retreated back toward the stone steps of the sarcophagus.

Arthur waited for the familiar reset.

The Keeper grabbed a rusted chain hanging beside the dais and yanked downward.

A massive stone burial screen dropped from the ceiling on the right side of the chamber, slamming into the floor with a deafening crash.

Arthur stared at the stone screen now cutting across the right half of the chamber.

That hadn’t happened in the game. The stone screen now blocked most of Arthur’s view of Emily and the Keeper.

The Keeper didn’t reset its stance. It circled behind the burial screen, using the heavy stone for cover, and started stabbing through the decorative gaps carved into the rock.

Arthur’s memorized attack loop fell apart. He drew a shot, predicted the Keeper’s path based on the game pattern, and released.

The arrow shattered against solid stone. The Keeper had moved the wrong way.

Emily cursed, forced to backpedal rapidly as the blackened spear darted through the gaps. The Keeper stopped thrusting and started sweeping the heavy haft of the weapon, using it to shove Emily backward and ruin her footing.

The spear was a miserable matchup for a brawler.

Emily stepped in to trap the haft, but the Keeper twisted the weapon sharply. The heavy iron butt of the spear whipped around and caught Emily hard in the ribs.

Emily grunted, the impact driving the wind out of her lungs as she stumbled sideways.

Chloe was there a second later. She pressed one glowing hand against Emily’s side, easing the worst of the bruising and restoring enough stamina for her to move cleanly again.

”You’re mobile,” Chloe told her, stepping back out of range.

Emily caught her breath and lunged back into the fight.

Arthur fired two highly compressed Mana Quiver arrows. The raw mana exploded against the Keeper’s helm, staggering it for a second. The plate held. He was bleeding mana for chip damage, and Emily couldn’t keep dodging the spear forever.

Arthur activated Eagle Eye.

The world sharpened. He pushed the focus deeper, engaging the new threshold effect.

He watched the Keeper move through the enhanced vision. A thick leather strap securing the right shoulder guard had rotted away at the edges. The left knee plate scraped slightly against the thigh guard, slowing its movement by a fraction of a second.

And when the corpse extended the spear for a full, two-handed thrust, the breastplate shifted upward. A narrow gap, less than two inches wide, opened beneath the right armpit where the chainmail had deteriorated.

He needed the Keeper to commit to that specific strike. Emily was keeping it busy, buying him the time to watch.

The Keeper stepped away from the stone screen, planting its feet to deliver the long, committed thrust Arthur remembered from the game.

”Next thrust, go left,” Arthur yelled.

”How far?” Emily called back, ducking a sweep.

”Far enough that I can see its armpit.”

Emily shot him a look.

”Just do it,” Arthur said.

The Keeper lunged.

Emily held her ground until the last possible second, then violently threw her weight to the left. The spear grazed her shoulder pad, throwing sparks across the dark room.

The Keeper’s arm extended fully. The breastplate shifted up. The two-inch gap exposed the rotting tissue beneath the right arm.

Arthur released the compressed Mana Quiver arrow.

The blue shaft threaded the tiny opening perfectly. The raw mana detonated inside the shoulder joint, shredding the ancient muscle and snapping the bone.

The Keeper’s right arm dropped, the blackened spear hitting the floor.

It tried to drag the weapon back with its left hand, stepping backward toward the dais.

Chloe moved before it could retreat. She darted forward, driving the iron base of her medical staff down hard onto the center of the spear shaft, pinning the weapon to the floor for one crucial second.

Emily stepped inside the Keeper’s reach.

She drove her knee into the gap beneath the breastplate, folding the Keeper forward and breaking its stance. As the Keeper pitched forward, Emily brought both gauntlets down in a brutal hammer strike against its chest plate, driving it to its knees.

Arthur stepped into the open lane.

He drew a final Mana Quiver arrow, lined up the shot with the seam at the base of the Keeper’s exposed neck, and fired.

The arrow punched through the neck seam and shattered the spine.

The Keeper went limp and collapsed across the steps.

The room went completely still.

Emily dropped onto the bottom step of the sarcophagus, bracing her elbows on her knees as she caught her breath. Chloe walked straight over and checked the bruising along her ribs.

Arthur exhaled, lowering the bow. His left wrist throbbed with a dull, burning ache. The repeated strain of drawing the bow right after the close-range struggle with the guardian had irritated the healing canvas burn.

He walked across the room, retrieving the few physical arrows that had survived the fight.

Chloe finished sealing Emily’s side and turned around. She caught Arthur rubbing his wrist.

”Give me your hand,” Chloe said, walking toward him.

”Emily is bleeding.”

”I already stopped hers. Hand.”

Arthur gave her his left hand. Chloe pushed a cool, soothing pulse of healing magic into the irritated skin, clearing the worst of the inflammation.

He walked up the steps to the ruined Keeper and searched the body.

He checked the belt, the inside of the breastplate, and the small iron lockbox sitting near the base of the sarcophagus.

Inside the box lay a narrow, black metal token. It was shaped like the top half of a broken dagger, cold to the touch, with a single archaic rune carved into the flat surface.

Arthur picked it up.

A blue notification chimed in his vision.

[Veiled Knife Key I Acquired]

[Keys Acquired: 1/3]

A second notification cascaded down beneath it.

[Level Up!]

[Phantom Sniper Lv.36 → Lv.37]

[Attribute Points Acquired: 2]

Arthur dismissed the screen and left the points unspent.

Emily stood up from the steps. She watched Arthur turn the black metal token over in his fingers.

”So.”

Arthur looked at her.

”You came all the way out here for that,” Emily said.

Arthur slipped the token into a secure pouch on his belt. ”Yeah.”

”And you knew it was here.”

”I knew it should be here.”

Emily glanced around the cavernous chamber, her eyes lingering on the dropped stone burial screen that had nearly gotten her skewered. ”Big difference?”

”Apparently.”

Chloe picked up her staff. ”What does it open?”

”A tomb,” Arthur said. ”Eventually.”

Emily crossed her arms. ”Eventually?”

”I need two more.”

Emily looked at the pouch where he had secured the token.

”Where’s the second one?” Emily asked.

Arthur checked the tension on his bowstring. ”Held by a bandit captain.”

Emily smiled.

”Better than road surveying.”