The Sorcerer's Handbook

Up to this point, the Gospel had refreshed seven distinct leaderboards, namely the Art Ranking, Family Ranking, Schemer Ranking, Happiness Ranking, Heretical Arts Ranking, Assassination Ranking, and the Madmen Ranking, which went live the previous night. Now, the upcoming Culprit Ranking loomed on the horizon.

Ashe had frequently crossed the screen in all seven prior iterations, occasionally securing more screen time than the literal protagonists, yet he had never actually held a rank of his own. His solitary entry existed purely under the shadow of Miss Annan’s creation, as if the evaluation system deemed his only positive attribute to be his association with her.

When the Madmen Ranking dropped the night before, Annan and Ashe were preoccupied with far more pressing matters. Skipping the broadcast proved to be the right choice; it offered no real revelations.

Placement on the Madmen Ranking had nothing to do with personal strength, grand ideals, or sheer willpower. The sole prerequisite was luck, though whether this luck counted as a blessing or a curse remained a massive question mark. Without exception, every individual on that list was destined to survive a gauntlet of endless tribulations, stubbornly enduring until the bitter end.

Severe physical disability was practically a baseline entry requirement, and many had completely lost their memories. A few had even survived multiple incidents tied to the Art Ranking, a detail most people forgot, as those specific masterpieces gained notoriety precisely because only the artwork remained at the wiped-out crime scenes.

By comparison, while everyone on the Family Ranking had transitioned into the undead, they were at least half-alive. The Schemer Ranking boasted its share of casualties, but its total body count fell short of a single city’s population. The subsequent lists paled even further. No matter how devastating the Echoers on the Heretical Arts Ranking claimed to be, their lifetime casualties reached tens or perhaps hundreds of thousands at most.

The background of the Art Ranking, however, involved the systematic erasure of entire metropolitan centers, each housing millions of souls. Such monumental sacrifices were the exact reason those pieces attained their grim, historical weight. The combined fatalities of every single ”evil ranking” failed to surpass the destruction linked to a single entry on the supposedly ”good” Art Ranking. Rather than labeling this as the Gospel’s dark humor, it highlighted a harsher reality. Individual morality was nothing but a fragile ripple against the crushing tides of history.

The Madmen Ranking shared this twisted designation as a ”good” ranking. Every survivor on it ultimately lived, yet they did so only after witnessing apocalyptic disasters that swallowed hundreds of thousands, sometimes tens of millions, of lives. Their labeled ruthlessness reflected both the brutal measures they took to stay alive and the cruelty fate inflicted upon them.

When Gospel Ashe erased their destinies, he spared their lives. He merely shifted their futures, causing them to be swept away alongside their families, lovers, and friends in a sweeping flood of disaster. Judging his actions on the Madmen Ranking remained difficult. Some people preferred a miserable existence over death, while others would rather die happily than struggle through an apocalypse. The only certainty was that as these lists continued to unfold, Gospel Ashe was shedding his human morality. He was transforming into something akin to a detached deity, watching the mortal realm from a distant, lofty perch.

This evolution left everyone curious about his ultimate fate. Ashe had spent his entire existence playing a supporting role in other people’s narratives, with the Gospel never updating a core storyline featuring him as the true protagonist. Now, the system finally seemed ready to push the main plot forward and unveil the underlying truth.

”Wait, if Daddy gets put on the ranking, will that fake Daddy come to kill him too?” Lys asked, suddenly struck by a terrifying possibility.

”The Isa Imperial Family deployed a lookalike to fulfill a scripted future,” Annan said, smiling as she adjusted her earring. ”As long as the Gospel hasn’t explicitly written that future, they won’t act recklessly. Besides, no matter how much nonsense the Gospel manufactures, it avoids blatant logical paradoxes like ’I kill myself.’”

Her gaze shifted as she wrapped her arms around Ashe. ”Regardless, we should still be careful. Just in case it actually happens, Ashe, you’re sleeping in my room tonight. I’ll protect you.”

Lys flared up instantly. ”Why do you get to stay with Daddy instead of me?!”

”Can you actually keep him safe?” Annan countered.

”Then Uncle Pankey—”

”Pankey is a target himself. If he stays with Ashe, he’s just saving the fake Ashe a bit of travel time.”

”Then Aunt Perskin and Uncle Harvey—”

”Iger has to watch over Pankey. As for Harvey...” Annan glanced toward him. ”Lys, do you honestly want Ashe sharing a bed with Harvey?”

Lys’s wide eyes darted between Harvey and Annan. Her small face twisted as she weighed the agonizing alternatives. ”It’s not... completely out of the question...”

”Hey, stop right there,” Ashe interrupted, cutting off the debate. ”Why are you all assuming I’m making this list anyway? The criteria for this ranking require someone to be a mastermind behind massive global shifts, a shadow manipulator of terrifying organizations, or a figurehead with countless zealots. I don’t fit any of those descriptions.”

”Those descriptions fit you perfectly,” everyone chimed in at once, Alice included.

While Ashe grumbled under his breath about workplace bullying and toxic environments, phrases that made absolutely no sense to the others, Iger’s eyebrows shot up. ”Interesting. A familiar face made the cut right out of the gate.”

”Who?”

The group looked down at the prompt, and a collective look of bewilderment spreading across their faces.

[Culprit Ranking No.10: The Red Hat That Caused Chaos]

Synopsis: Cliose Beymore, Captain of the Red Hats’ Azura branch, conspired with Annan Dolan to orchestrate the covert release of Ashe Heath, Iger Perskin, and Archibald Harvey.

Evaluation: Deeply Sinful

Culprit: Cliose Beymore

[Cliose receives the reward Spellbreaking Silver Handcuffs.]

***

At the Red Hats’ Azura branch, chaos reigned.

”Captain, Captain, please don’t cry.”

”Everyone knows it wasn’t your fault. The higher-ups definitely won’t blame you.”

Cliose Beymore lay sprawled across her desk, her shoulders trembling as tears soaked her sleeves. She let out soft, shuddering sobs that sounded like the pitiful cries of a kitten. This time, her tears were not the result of triggering the ”Crying Curse” or activating her tear glands. She was genuinely, utterly heartbroken.

How could she have known those outlanders would create such a catastrophic mess in the Gospel Kingdom?

Strictly speaking, even if the Red Hats did not execute outlanders on the spot, protocol dictated they capture them for imprisonment and re-education. Only after a full year of observation could those individuals be granted official citizenship and released back into society. In reality, that was merely a guideline. The Red Hats were lazy too. Most officers simply killed them to save themselves the trouble.

Furthermore, she had already established a contract with Annan while hunting down the Four Pillars Cult. Those outlanders were technically her spoils of war. Handing them over to Annan was entirely within regulations.

By what right did the Gospel declare her guilty? If she had known it would turn out like this, she should have waited until the Four Pillars Cult finished sacrificing those guys before moving in to make an arrest!

***

[Culprit Ranking No.9: The Incompetent Duchess]

Synopsis: The Good Moonlight Agency launched a midnight assault on the Funeral Agency, only to return empty-handed. Every member of the Funeral Agency escaped unharmed.

Evaluation: Death would be too merciful a punishment.

Criminal: Aina Aldo

[Aina Aldo receives the reward Machina Spirit Ring +3.]

Back in the agency, the Red Cicada Duchess sat completely stunned.

Frankly, when she ordered the attack on the Funeral Agency, justice had been the furthest thing from her mind. At that time, the official wanted order had not even been issued. Her people technically possessed a justification to invade a private residence, but the procedures they used were entirely unlawful. The only reason Cliose Beymore had not investigated the matter further was that she was too busy trying to capture Annan at the time.

Regardless of the excuses, the raid itself had been an evil, illegal act, a blunt display of bullying through overwhelming power. Yet now, the Gospel was judging her guilty and dragging her onto the infamous Culprit Ranking because she had failed to eliminate evil and carry her crimes through to the end.

Over the past few decades, the Duchess had exploited loopholes in the Gospel’s rules to leave countless targets suffering in silence. Those victims knew exactly who had ruined their lives, but they lacked any legitimate way to retaliate against the Good Moonlight Agency. They could not even voice their grievances.

Looking at the prompt, the Duchess finally understood the crushing weight of the injustice those people had felt.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

[Culprit Ranking No.8: The Lustful Family Leader]

Synopsis: The leader of the Senheiser family allowed beauty to cloud her judgment, joining forces with the other Six-Emblem Family Leaders to sabotage a Red Hat capture operation. This interference allowed Ashe Heath, and his companions to successfully slip through the encirclement.

Evaluation: An unforgivable crime.

Criminal: Quinna Senheiser

[Quinna Senheiser receives the reward Shared spirit.]

***

Inside the leader’s office in the Senheiser Building

Nona’s voice was deceptively calm, but the undercurrent of anger was impossible to miss. ”Quinna, did you really let Ashe Heath go for that reason?”

”How could that be possible? You know the Gospel just invents things. Why do you suddenly believe it now?” Quinna replied casually, her attention fixed entirely on examining the reward she had just received. ”Still, historically speaking, it’s quite rare for these future rankings to grant spirits as rewards...”

”Hmm?”

”This seems like a spirit tailor-made for me by the Gospel. It has two functions. The first allows me to share my sorcery class with blood relatives. Nona, you might finally have a chance to break through into the Sacred Realm!”

”Don’t change the subject!” Nona spun Quinna’s chair around, forcing her sister to face her directly. ”You claim the Gospel is making things up. In what way? Are you saying you never developed feelings for Ashe, or that your judgment was never compromised?”

”The spirit’s second function allows blood relatives to share their senses. Let’s test it out...”

”Quinna!” Nona took a deep breath, gripping her sister’s shoulders with sudden intensity. ”Last night, I spoke with Annan.”

”Mmhmm?”

Nona stared intently at her older sister. ”She told me that once the Woven Festival ends, she intends to be with Ashe. You understand what that means, right? Don’t do anything reckless.”

Quinna blinked innocently. ”Did you forget that I also have a contract with Annan?”

”What?”

Quinna shrugged. ”As the price for letting them escape, Annan promised that after the Woven Festival, she would return and officially join the Senheiser family. Of course, I won’t do anything reckless. If she wants to be with Ashe, let her. Either way, she’ll be living under the Senheiser roof.”

”You know that’s not the reckless behavior I’m talking about!”

”Then what do you mean? If you don’t spell it out, how am I supposed to know?” Quinna swayed her chair back and forth, exhibiting the picture of pure innocence.

Nona gritted her teeth, but the flush creeping up her neck betrayed her crumbling front. ”You’re playing dumb on purpose.”

Quinna smiled warmly. ”My dear sister, you’re saying the strangest things. I’m your older sister. As long as you tell me exactly what you want, I will always grant it. Have I ever refused you anything since we were children?”

Nona’s mouth twitched. She took another deep, stabilizing breath. ”What I mean is, if Annan and Ashe really do return to the Senheiser family...”

”Mmhmm.”

”Don’t go sneaking around Ashe whenever Annan isn’t paying attention...” She paused, her voice faltering slightly. ”And obviously, doing anything suspicious out in the open isn’t allowed either!”

”Mmhmm. But why would I even approach Ashe?”

”To... to do... that with him...”

”Do what? Bake cakes?”

The usually cold, unflappable Red Hats’ Vice Captain’s face flushed a brilliant crimson. She glared at her sister, utterly speechless.

Quinna let out a soft sigh. ”Alright, alright. Perhaps this is exactly why the Gospel rewarded me with the Shared spirit. Along with sharing my sorcery class, you desperately need to inherit my sense of shame. With skin that thin and a personality that easily embarrassed, I think you’re the one whose judgment is bound to be compromised by emotions.”

”I don’t want to share anything with you!”

”Fair enough.” Quinna’s playful demeanor instantly vanished, replaced by a rare seriousness. ”Right now, the family needs Sacred Realm-level combat power more than ever. With my sorcery class sharing, do you have the confidence to break through into the Sacred Realm within a year?”

Seeing her sister finally pivot to serious family matters, Nona forced her embarrassment down and nodded earnestly. ”I’ll give it everything I... Ugh!”

Simultaneously, Quinna stiffened in her seat, letting out an adorable, breathless gasp. ”Mm-hn~[1]”

1. What the heck just happened?? ☜