The Sorcerer's Handbook

Chapter 399: Don’t Touch Me!

Two days passed, and Ashe had yet to find any leverage against the Belldets.

It wasn’t that the Belldet sisters had particularly clean records. Rather, Ashe’s schedule had been utterly packed with high-paying jobs explicitly requesting him. His hourly rate reached an astonishing thirty Bel Points. Working ten hours a day meant earning three hundred Bel Points, and maintaining this pace for just a few days would yield enough for him to pay off his ”freedom fee” and climb out of the pit. Between the grueling labor and his busy schedule, he simply didn’t have the time to investigate.

Look at this. A textbook example of selling my soul to the grind, Ashe thought bitterly as he furiously scrubbed a statue, all while happily watching his savings grow.

At dinner time, Ashe noticed that Iger was eating with Harvey, with no sign of the red-haired angel Anphel. Over the past two days, Iger had consistently dined with Anphel at intimate two-seat tables. Unless Ashe was willing to drag over a high chair and squeeze in right beside them, there was simply no way to crash their private dates.

Seizing this rare opportunity, Ashe immediately grabbed his tray and slid onto the bench beside the fraudster. ”Hey, Iger, to think you’d be down to eating with Harvey now. You’ve really fallen off tonight.”

The dark-skinned necromancer shot him a glance. ”Ashe, you came at the right time. We were just talking about you.”

”Talking about me?”

Harvey said, ”It’s about our futures. I’ll become the chief medical examiner of Montphera, while Iger will become the mayor’s secretary. As for you, you’ll become an unemployed single father living off welfare and draining your daughter’s blood. We’ll all have a bright future.”

”I don’t really mind living off welfare, but I’m not a Blood Saint. Why would I drain Lys’ blood?”

”Don’t you think Lys has the potential to be a child star?”

Ashe mused. ”Hmm... Lys does have some talent for acting. Given the Gospel’s educational philosophy of nurturing natural talent, getting her into the entertainment industry might not be a bad idea. But I’m definitely not going to exploit my daughter. I’ll invest all the money she earns into opening businesses, and when she grows up, I’ll hand her a whole pile of assets!”

”Oh?” Iger nodded slowly. ”So you do plan to drain Lys dry. Even the Blood Saints aren’t that ruthless.”

”I said it’s investment and wealth management!”

”Someone who can bankrupt an evil cult’s business plan really isn’t qualified to talk about investment strategy,” Iger countered. ”Saying that you have zero financial sense is already scamming your shareholders.”

”But why are you talking about making a living in Montphera anyway?” Ashe asked, shifting the subject. ”Shouldn’t the two of you be staying behind while Lys and I leave?”

Iger questioned, ”And how exactly are you two planning to leave? Have you gathered enough Bel Points for your freedom?”

”We haven’t, but don’t we still have you?” Ashe said, casually draping an arm around Iger’s shoulder. ”I don’t expect anything extravagant. Once you marry Belldet and take over a major conglomerate, you can just waive our contracts. That should be easy, right?”

Iger glanced at the arm on his shoulder and casually brushed it off before speaking in a slow, measured tone. ”First of all, once I become a Belldet, you two will go from ’useful, mockable companions’ to ’sheep ready to be sheared.’ And even if we assume I suddenly develop a desire to do charity, a contract is a contract. Unless one side breaches it, it cannot be dissolved.”

”What?!” Ashe exclaimed. ”I thought you’d definitely help us! Damn it, I even stopped holding back my urges and bought Evelyn’s products today! What am I supposed to do if Annan and the others ask about my savings?!”

Harvey chimed in, ”Serves you right. I managed to resist even when Evelyn pulled out a perfectly crafted human skeleton.”

Iger added, ”You should just ask Lys for advice on this kind of problem. The two of you are on roughly the same intellectual level. She should be able to give you proper guidance.”

”Wait, Iger, you’ll definitely look out for your brothers once you rise to the top, right?” Ashe said quickly, doubling down. ”We’re sworn prison comrades!”

”We literally tried to kill each other the second we broke out.”

”Who cares! We’re still lifelong, outstanding comrades!”

”What is there to brag about in running away from Gerard twice?”

”How about mutually appreciative friends then?!”

Iger gestured toward the necromancer. ”By mutually appreciative, do you mean you and him?”

Ashe sat upright and quickly got the conversation back on track. ”In any case! Iger, brother, you can’t go forgetting about me!”

”Why shouldn’t I?”

”Because we still owe each other a favor!”

Harvey looked up in surprise. ”Oh? Ashe, you actually still have a card like that up your sleeve?”

Ashe puffed up his chest proudly. ”That’s right! Back in Shattered Lake, to get Iger to join my glorious escape plan, we signed a contract where I used my wish to force him to help me strategize. So... please let me owe you another wish!”

”So it was you who owed Iger a wish...” Harvey muttered, staring at him.

”I’m done eating. You two enjoy,” Iger said flatly, standing up with his tray.

”Iger, wait—”

Smack!

Iger slapped away Ashe’s outstretched hand and looked down at him coldly. ”Don’t touch me.”

***

The Funeral Agency squad had gathered once again in Ashe’s bedroom.

”And that’s basically how it went,” Harvey said. ”I told Alice about it, and even she felt embarrassed for Ashe.”

”How dare Auntie Perskin treat Daddy like that!” Lys said indignantly, puffing up her cheeks. ”Don’t cry, Daddy. We’re ignoring Auntie Perskin from now on!”

”Stay still,” Ashe said, pressing Lys back down in front of the dressing table as he carefully wiped the water from her hair.

Pankey murmured, ”Is Mr. Perskin really that impatient? He hasn’t even officially joined the Belldet yet. Is he already this eager to cut ties with Mr. Harvey and the rest of us?”

Annan shrugged. ”Give someone a little status, and they immediately forget where they came from. Or you could just say he’s smart. You two are pure liabilities, and keeping you around brings him zero benefit. Instead of pouring more into a sunk cost, he figured he might as well cut his losses and short your relationship early.”

Annan turned to Ashe. ”Do you regret not ruining their date the night before? Looks like your kindness has backfired on you.”

Ashe didn’t look particularly upset. He said slowly, ”I just feel like something is off about Iger...”

Annan rested her chin on her hand, a slight smirk playing on her lips. ”What’s so strange about it? Perskin is finally going straight and going ashore. Of course he doesn’t need old colleagues who are still drowning at sea. Everything in this world betrays you eventually. Even spirits might quietly slip away. What do you expect from a fraudster?”

”Is it just my imagination?” Ashe asked suddenly. ”You don’t seem particularly bothered by Iger’s betrayal.”

Annan replied, ”Who says I don’t care? I care immensely. I’m actually considering whether I should set a honey trap.”

Everyone froze. ”You? A honey trap?”

Ashe quickly shook his head. ”No, no, absolutely not!”

”Why not?” Annan blinked, the corners of her lips curling as she locked eyes with him in the mirror.

”Because you’d definitely lose.”

”Why would I lose? I’m easily in the top ten of the Azura Beauty Rankings. Am I not prettier than that pipsqueak’s sister?”

”Yes. Physically, you are on par with Anphel,” Ashe said, spreading his hands. ”But the problem is... you have a rotten soul.”

As Annan lunged at him to start another scuffle, the necromancer spoke up slowly, ”The fraudster is acting strange.”

”Why?” Pankey asked.

Harvey explained. ”A fraudster doesn’t usually burn bridges on his own initiative. It doesn’t fit his operational habits. It’s like how I would never refuse to harvest an enemy’s corpse, no matter how much I dislike him.”

Lys guessed. ”Could it be that Aunt Perskin feels he no longer needs to tolerate you two, so he’s finally showing his true colors? Didn’t he always say that talking to Mr. Harvey was like sleeping in a coffin?”

Lys ignored the delusional necromancer and looked seriously at Ashe’s reflection in the mirror. ”Daddy, do you think Aunt Perskin really abandoned us?”

”Whether I think so or not doesn’t matter,” Ashe said, clicking on the hairdryer and continuing to dry her hair. ”When it rains, it rains. When a mother wants to remarry, she remarries. Everyone ends up getting married anyway, and yet I’m still single...”

”So... what do you actually think?” After a brief hesitation, Lys ultimately chose to tell Ashe what White Queen had told her. ”The way I see it, I don’t think Aunt Perskin would ever abandon us.”

Within the entire Funeral Agency, no one understood Iger better than White Queen. She had once negotiated with him face-to-face.

”And why do you think that?” Annan asked with a lazy smile. ”Is it because he braids your hair nicely?”

Lys ignored the mocking remark and kept her eyes locked on Ashe in the mirror. ”He values you all more than you think.”

Ashe lowered his gaze. ”I don’t actually care whether Iger abandons us or not.”

Under everyone’s stunned gazes, he continued softly, ”I’ve seen three versions of Iger. The first is the smooth-talking fraudster. When you see him like that, it means he wants something from you. The second is the one who puts you down and keeps you under his thumb. That version means he’s trying to use you.

”And the third...” Ashe paused. ”Is the one I just saw. The one keeping us at arm’s length, pushing us as far away as he can.”

”What does that mean?” Lys asked.

”I don’t know. All I see is him trying to do everything by himself. It’s like he’s forcing himself into a corner.”

A heavy, suffocating silence fell over the bedroom.

This time around, Annan was the one to break it. ”So you still trust him after all this? You’re just going to throw away your trust like that?”

”No,” Ashe said, shaking his head. ”Trust should only be given to those who have earned it.”

***

After everyone else went to sleep, Lys still refused to detach herself from Ashe. Ever since they arrived in Montphera, she had become increasingly clingy. Ashe figured it was understandable. She was in an unfamiliar place and had to work every day, so it was only natural for her to want a bit of pampering. Besides, he would be entering the Virtual World soon anyway, so he decided to let her be.

”Can you not put your feet on my stomach tonight?”

”Then you have to hug me to sleep!” Lys declared brightly, raising her hand in excitement.

Ashe found the terms acceptable. Given Lys’s notorious sleeping habits, she would probably roll away on her own within an hour anyway, so there was little danger of his arm falling numb. He pulled her into his embrace, letting her rest against his arm, then opened his Sorcerer’s Handbook and began his dive into the Virtual World.

The moment he immersed himself, he opened his eyes, only to find himself holding the Witch in his arms.

Dia opened her eyes at the exact same moment and realized she was sitting right on the Watcher’s lap. Looking up, she met the blurred, foggy haze where his face should be and gasped. ”Ah!”

Both of them cried out and scrambled apart, instantly turning to look behind them. Sure enough, the Swordswoman was sitting in the back seat of the sports car, and she had witnessed the entire thing.

Dia explained hurriedly. ”Swordswoman, that was just an accident during login! It really had nothing to do with me! If anything, it’s the Watcher’s fault—”

”Are we in the Star Hall region tonight?”

The Swordswoman seemed completely unfazed by what she had just seen and said calmly, ”Stop wasting time. Hurry up, find the optimal route on the map, and start gathering resources. We’re on a tight schedule tonight.”

Ashe and Dia blinked, then quickly nodded. Dia carefully slid into the seat beside the Swordswoman, but the Swordswoman paid her no mind, keeping her eyes fixed on the Ascending Golden Rain outside the window.

Before long, Ashe drove them to a Gem Mine. It was guarded by an overlord-level creature, the Violent Slashing Dragon, and a pack of Dog-Headed Dragons. While this mob was dangerous enough to wipe out most sorcerers, the trio cleared the area effortlessly without even using their spirits.

After a flawless victory, they began harvesting materials to feed their spirits. Ashe found a Sharp Gem, the ideal food for Sword Class spirits, and walked over to the Swordswoman. ”Swordswoman, here—”

Smack!

Sonya’s reflexes were faster. The moment Ashe reached toward her shoulder, she slapped his hand away. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at him with chilling composure. ”Don’t touch me.”