Dead on Mars

Chapter 80 - Sol Hundred and One, Wretched God
“First, we need to break the seeds out of hibernation. The typical pretreatment is to soak them in water,” Mai Dong instructed. “Therefore, Tang Yue, you need to get enough water to soak all ten tomato seeds.”

Tang Yue used a beaker and retrieved 200 milliliters of water. Then, he placed it above a burner tripod, placed an electric heater beneath it, and turned on the power.

Tang Yue and Tomcat sat by the side of the table and watched the heating element turn red.

“It feels as if I’m doing chemistry experiments back in university again.” Tang Yue held a thermometer as he held his chin above the table. His eyes stared at the water in the beaker. “That was the worst class of my life… I toppled an alcohol burner during a chemistry lab, and burnt the hair of a female classmate sitting at my bench.”

“And then?” Tomcat also leaned its chin above the table, its ears drooping down.

“Then I strictly followed the laboratory’s safety protocol,” Tang Yue answered. “I rushed out of the lab, picked up a pail of sand, and poured it over that lady’s head.”

Tomcat imagined the situation.

“… I now understand why it’s the worst class of yours.

“What happened later?” Tomcat asked. “What method did you use to soothe matters? Didn’t you apologize to her? Get her telephone number, QQ or WeChat number, treat her to a meal and movie, then use the chance to deepen the relationship between the two of you. Then, you could bury the hatchet, and might even get married.”

“I obviously tried to soothe things over.” Tang Yue held his cheek with one hand as he used a glass rod to gently mix the water in a beaker. “I was worried that there were still some flames I hadn’t snuffed out, so I immediately took off the white lab coat I was wearing and began whipping her…”

Over the comms, Mai Dong softly burst out in laughter.

“Later, what happened was spread across campus,” Tang Yue said sadly. “People all knew of a lunatic named Tang Yue, who bullied a girl in chemistry. Not only did he pour alcohol over her hair, but he even beat her. Worst of all, I failed that class… Lady, if you wish to laugh, go ahead. I heard you.”

Mai Dong laughed out loud and was unable to stop. She nearly suffocated from a lack of air.

“Hahaha, Tang Yue, that’s so funny. Hahaha. Seriously, it’s so funny…”

Mai Dong hugged a tablet computer as she floated in the Crystal module, tumbling around.

Tang Yue blushed red. “Lady, you can laugh, but don’t keep laughing… Spare a thought for my feelings.”

“I didn’t believe you back when you said that you were a lone wolf that didn’t need a partner.” Tomcat looked up, its eyes filled with admiration. “I now believe you. You aren’t just a lone wolf, you are basically a wizard.”

Tang Yue placed the thermometer into the beaker as he observed the red fluid slowly rise.

“Tang Yue, do you have a girlfriend?” Mai Dong asked.

“Does a girlfriend I fooled by using a lollipop in kindergarten count?” Tang Yue asked.

“No.”

After a few seconds of silence, Tang Yue asked, “Does it need to be someone of the opposite sex?”

“Girlfriend. It obviously needs to be female.”

“Then… must it be of the same species?”

…

“The temperature needs to be about 50°C, then add potassium permanganate to the water. The concentration should be at 0.3%.

Tang Yue and Tomcat had to rummage for potassium permanganate, as there weren’t many chemicals left behind in Kunlun Station. Finally, Tomcat went to the Mars Wanderer’s experiment module and found a bottle of solid analytical reagent. Tang Yue carefully poured the potassium permanganate into the beaker as the dark purple powder quickly dissolved into the water like a plume of smoke.

“The goal of adding potassium permanganate is to kill germs and prevent any common diseases that tomatoes suffer from. Tomatoes might get leaf mold or early blight. Even though the chances of it happening on Mars is very low, we have to be safe and use a sterilization process,” Mai Dong said. “Next, you can soak the seeds in water for twenty minutes.”

Tang Yue switched off the heater and poured the ten prepared tomato seeds into the beaker.

With Tomcat, he used a glass rod to press down the seeds that floated to the surface as they gently stirred.

“Do you know what this is?” Tang Yue pointed at the tomato seeds in the beaker.

“What?”

“It’s hope,” Tang Yue said. “Think about Creation, Jehovah said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. Aren’t what we are doing the same as what God was doing? We brought tomatoes to Mars. This might be the epoch of a grand civilization. When Mars is covered with tomatoes, a brand new species would be born—the Tomato species. As the saying goes—waiting in the mountain, this brightly colored tomato, she stays in the thickets until it’s time to spread her smile.

“Plants can also evolve into a civilization, right?” Tang Yue said. “We are proliferating life itself. This is akin to Genesis. The end of one civilization leads to the nascent birth of another.”

“Proliferating life on Mars?” Tomcat curled its lips, took off its earpiece, and pointed at the airlock behind it. “Let’s see if the soil will produce a tiny Tang Yue in a few days. If you have such powerful reproductive ability, it’s true that you can create a species. If every sperm of yours matures, you alone will be able to proliferate life that can fill ten Mars.”

Tang Yue thought about standing on Mars Wanderer with his ass bare.

Could it be that this was how God created the world back then?

That would be too wretched.

“It’s impossible for just the two of us to change the Martian environment. Even if Earth were around, this task would be an extremely expensive century-long endeavor.” Tomcat shook its head. “Just this Martian atmosphere makes it impossible for any plants or animals to live. Even if humans want to live in it, they need to build completely sealed underground or semi-underground bases. This is even under the premise that technology in creating artificial ecospheres have been acquired.”

“What’s exactly needed to change the Martian environment?”

Tomcat thought for a moment and said, “First, you need to burn coal, burn plenty of coal.”

“Burn coal?”

“Burn fossil fuel to create carbon dioxide,” Tomcat explained. “Artificial production of mass amounts of carbon dioxide is needed. This amount is unimaginable to you. Humans would need to have factories everywhere across Mars, to harvest the methane resources. They would have to generate carbon dioxide daily. After all, you wish to transform a planet’s climate. Enough carbon dioxide would result in the greenhouse effect, raising the surface temperatures of Mars. Once the temperature is above –80°C, other work could begin.”

Tang Yue really couldn’t imagine such a scene. The entire surface of Mars had to be covered with scorching-red gas furnaces, making Mars a huge minefield. The work involved far exceeded the amount any species or country could undertake. It would be a pioneering undertaking for the entire human civilization.

“Putting aside whether it’s a pioneering undertaking,” Tomcat shook its head, “it’s clear about the outcomes of doing so. Mars would be filled with black miasma. But socialism with Chinese characteristics has told us that polluting than making corrections is the wrong thing to do!”