Stolen Identity: Mute Heiress

Chapter 202: Therapy

It had been a long day and it was past dinner time, but Callan sat on the soft leather chair in his therapist’s office.

His hands were resting on his knees. He kept moving his fingers, tapping them on his legs, because it felt like if he didn’t move them, he would jump out of his skin.

The room smelled like lavender. There was a tall plant in the corner, and a small water fountain making soft splashing sounds.

The therapist, Dr. Reynold, was sitting across from him. She had warm brown eyes and a notebook on her lap. She didn’t write anything yet. She just watched him quietly.

Because of his busy schedules and because of his reputation, they always had his sessions late in the evening when no one else was around to see him go in or out of her office.

”Callan,” she said gently, ”how are you doing today?”

”I don’t think I’m doing so well,” he said after a moment, letting out a deep sigh.

This was the only place he could really be honest without any worries about bothering anyone with what was going on inside of him. He was paying for her services so it was okay to pour out his worries.

The only other person he opened up to was Jamal, but there was a limit to the things he could tell Jamal no matter how much he trusted him.

Dr. Reynold tilted her head. ”Can you tell me more?”

Callan sighed. He rubbed the back of his neck. ”My nightmares... they’re back again,” he said, pressing his lips together.

She raised a brow, ”Back again?”

She asked since Callan had been having nightmares and taking sleeping pills for the past couple of years and she didn’t remember him ever saying he no longer had nightmares.

”I mean they’re worse than before. It used to be once or twice a week, but for the past two days it’s like whenever I close my eyes to sleep it all comes back. Even when I wake up and go back to sleep it continues,” he explained.

She nodded slowly. ”Do you know why? Did something happen that might have brought them on?”

He shook his head. ”I don’t know.”

She watched him for a moment. ”What has changed since the last time we talked?” she asked softly.

Callan stared at the wall behind her. His heart was beating too fast again. He tried to think of what was different.

”Nothing much,” he said. ”Just... Emily is around.”

Her eyebrows lifted. ”Emily?” she repeated. ”The same Emily you’ve spoken about before?”

He nodded. ”Yeah.”

”Why is she visiting? Did you invite her over?” She asked. ”You didn’t mention it in our last session.”

Callan rubbed his hands over his face. His skin felt hot. ”It was unplanned,” he said. ”She came on short notice. She’s staying for six months.”

”Six months? Is that okay with you?” She asked, and he shrugged but said nothing.

Her pen tapped her notebook. ”So, do you think maybe Emily being here is part of the reason the nightmares came back? You did say you first met her shortly after your foster mother abandoned you at the orphanage home. Perhaps she reminds you a lot of the past?”

Callan’s shoulders tensed. He combed his fingers through his hair, tugging a little like he could pull the thoughts out of his head.

”It’s possible,” he said after a long moment. It was true that he had had to think about the past a lot since she arrived.

Dr. Reynold’s voice was calm and almost soft enough to make him feel safe. ”Can you tell me what’s been happening since Emily arrived? How long has she been here?”

He let out a shaky breath. ”She got here a couple of days ago. We keep having misunderstandings,” he said. ”She’s still hurt by what happened between us.”

She watched him closely. ”Can you be a little more detailed? Did you both argue? What led to it? How did you handle it?”

Callan went on to tell her all that happened between them from the moment he picked her up from the airport.

”....There’s just this tension,” he continued. ”I feel like my chest is going to split open whenever she’s near me. I try to be calm. You know, I even try to be friendly but it feels like every time we talk, I say something wrong.”

Dr Reynold listened quietly. After a moment, she shifted in her seat. ”If you could make a list of the top three important people in your life right now who would they be?”

Callan took a deep breath as he considered it. ”My parents. I count them as one. They’re both very important to me. Then there is Emily, and then Jamal.”

She nodded thoughtfully. ”How is the search for your biological mother going?”

Callan sighed deeply. ”It’s going smoothly I guess,” he said. ”We found out where she last worked before she disappeared, so I get we are getting closer.”

Dr. Reynold nodded. ”I’m glad to hear that. That’s progress,” she said kindly. ”So, I’m thinking, while you wait to find her... maybe it would help to start confronting the past in other ways.”

He frowned. ”What do you mean?” he asked.

She looked at him with gentle eyes. ”Emily. She seems like a very vital part of you. And seeing as she still seems hurt by what happened between you. Perhaps it’s time you opened up to her...”

Even before she finished Callan was shaking his head already, but she didn’t let him stop her.

”You could talk to her. Tell her the truth about everything. Help her understand you better.”

Callan’s heart thudded harder. ”No,” he said flatly.

”Why not?” Dr. Reynold asked.

He lifted his eyes to hers. His throat felt tight. ”You know why,” he said quietly. ”I don’t want her to know those things about me. I don’t want her to see me like that.”

Dr. Reynold leaned forward, her elbows resting lightly on her knees.

”What are you scared of? What do you think she will see if you tell her?” she asked gently.

He swallowed hard. ”She’ll see what I really am. Not just the jerk who hurt her feelings... but... something worse.” He paused. His voice turned hoarse. ”I don’t want that.”

Dr. Reynold shook her head slowly. ”Callan... you are living with guilt and shame over things that were never your fault. No normal, kind person would judge you harshly for what you went through. And from all you’ve said about her in the past, I know that she is normal and kind. Maybe you’d feel lighter if you learn to trust those you care about and open up fully to them.”

His chest squeezed so tight it hurt. ”I can’t,” he said with a shake of his head. His voice broke a little.

Dr. Reynold sighed. ”Tell me, Callan, what do you feel you need right now?”

”Sleeping pills,” he said with a laugh. ”Ones strong enough to knock me out and keep the nightmares away.”

Dr. Reynold looked at him for a long time. ”Callan, how can I help you if you won’t even listen to me?”

”I do listen to you. Isn’t that the reason I’m trying to find the woman who gave birth to me and abandoned me? Besides, you help enough by listening to me. It’s not like I was expecting much from therapy. Having you listen to me without judgment and having you prescribe pills is more than good enough for me,” he assured her.

She looked at him, her eyes sad, ”And just how long do you plan to keep living this way? Do you plan to spend all your life being emotionally detached and taking sleeping pills to keep away night mares simply because you are scared of being vulnerable? We’ve been at this for three years. You’ve got to do better than this, Callan.”

She sighed softly as she reached for her pad and wrote something down. She tore the paper and held it out to him.

”Here,” she said softly. ”This is a prescription. But Callan... you can’t keep running from this forever.”

He gave her a crooked smile as he stood up and took the slip of paper. ”I deserve a little credit, don’t you think? I mean, I’m better now than I was when I first walked into your office, am I not?”

”You can do better,” she said as she watched him walk to the door. ”Take care of yourself, Callan,” she said gently.

He nodded again and stepped out of the office. As he headed for his car he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

He contemplated giving Emily a call to find out if she was home or still at the hospital, and whether she had had dinner.

While he was still thinking about it his phone rang, and he received the call immediately when he saw it was Jamal, hoping that Jamal had news about his biological mother.