D.E.M.O.N.S: Getting Summoned Weekly isn't so Bad

Chapter 486: B-b-breakdown

”With that said” Nira kicked out at the dirt slightly and turned her body slightly to the side, ”I suppose I can answer more in full, and not to you as just someone whoʼs Kamikoʼs friend. Obviously, my desire to not mention the monitoring, the fear that it could end up like Meridithna and the other things I mentioned were all still true.

”There is one angle we havenʼt really gone over. See, the other thing… is Iʼm not sure what it would do to Aslena. You watched her flee did you not? Itʼs all hit her at once, all the bad things sheʼs done to Kamiko mostly, have basically slapped her in the face. Sheʼs… coping for now. The question is, could she have done this when she was younger?”

Kat opened her mouth to comment but Nira waved lightly in her direction and kept speaking, ”I believe kids are adaptable, and Iʼm not saying she wouldnʼt have been able to handle it at all… but I think it would have changed her in a major way. By the time I decided that it truly was a problem in need of… I hate to use the word fixing when it comes to my children… perhaps mending would be better?

”Anyway, once it was a problem that I admitted to myself was something that needed to be changed, sheʼd already given up a number of things. While she did bully Kamiko, that was one of the few childish things she ever indulged in. Aslena didnʼt watch cartoons, she didnʼt have friends or run around outside. She didnʼt play with toys all that much, it she would always dedicate herself to her craft.

”Now, you might say we should have let her do other things, well, we didnʼt force her to do anything at all. Leave her in a room with toys and sewing equipment and sheʼd go for the sewing equipment,” Nira threw her arms up into the air ”heck, leave her with just toys and sheʼd probably find a way to turn them into sewing equipment.

”And the bad things she did were rarely directly malicious, or even close to that. Most of them were… inconvenient certainly, and perhaps slightly traumatising at worst, but none of them were TO cause issues for Kamiko if that makes sense. Itʼs like… ah, take your demonic energy. It creates flames like all demons. You could argue that creating ice is an unintended side effect, or if you donʼt think that, at the very least, the fact it also chills the area around the ice as it melts IS a side effect. Itʼs sort of like that.

”Most of the time, Aslena needed someone to try an outfit on for her, or be a model for one reason or another. Kamiko didnʼt enjoy it and we tried to teach Aslena that fact, but she never really seemed to let it sink in. Sheʼd given up a lot to pursue clothing design, why wouldnʼt Kamiko be willing to do the same to a lesser extent…”

Nira let out a long huff of air, Kat noticing that it was only now she actually drew in breath. ”The final thing is… while I do monitor them pretty much constantly, thatʼs all it is, only pretty much. I canʼt scry them all the time, Iʼm not quite so skilled that I can split my mind like that. Sure, I could easily process a few thousand thoughts in a second, but they are all sequential. I never picked up the skill that lets you REALLY multitask.

”The scanning is more like… a background process. Itʼs always running, and there is alerts, but I have to check it regularly to make sure I donʼt miss things. This means that… well… even Iʼm not sure the extent of things Aslena has or hasnʼt done. Oh, donʼt get me wrong, I probably know about 90% of the things sheʼs done to cause Kamiko pain, but I didnʼt watch most of them, just know they happened, and itʼs the other ten percent I worry about you know?

”What if Iʼm overreacting? What if Iʼm misinterpreting the diagnosis? I can only guess based on the bodies responses that I get back. Like, when Kamiko is upset, her heartbeat might rise. It also rises when sheʼs happy. Sure, there are a lot of extra details but Iʼm decent enough to guess almost all the time. Still, thatʼs a risk and Iʼm not sure if itʼs fair of me to take it. There have been plenty of times where I was too busy to double check with a quick scry.

”Maybe I was in a medical procedure that couldnʼt be stopped, maybe I was locked in combat with a dragon. Whatever it was, it meant I couldnʼt check,” Niraʼs tears had returned ”and you know? I worry that I actually have no idea whatʼs going on in my kids lives. Isnʼt that crazy? Iʼve monitored them closely for their entire lives. I probably know them better then they know themselves…

”But do I? can I really know them like that? Clearly I didnʼt know enough about Meridithna to stop her from leaving. Iʼm forever worried that Iʼll mess up something important because I thought I knew something I really didnʼt and that terrifies me. I donʼt have a diagnostics ability for my family relationships Kat. I can see ATOMS when I concentrate Kat. But I still canʼt see into someone elseʼs mind. You can, but only somewhat. I doubt that little glimpse would be enough for me…” Nira finished off with a sigh. Hands clutching onto her gardening clothes, breath coming in slightly ragged.

*Well… um… holly shit ok then. Thatʼs… well thatʼs a little more than I was expecting to hear if Iʼm being honest with myself here and I donʼt really know how to process that. I vastly underestimated how complicated this is. I honestly feel like kind of a bitch for pressing Nira so hard for an answer.

I mean, some people might argue she needs this. Heck, I might argue she needs this. Still… I really didnʼt want her to… break down like that. Oh sure, she still looks like sheʼs holding up alright and is only a bit frazzled, but a demon at least a few centuries oldʼs ʼbit frazzledʼ is probably a normal humans ʼthe world is over and everyoneʼs dying tomorrowʼ levels of panic.

I mean… what the hell do you even say to that? I canʼt even begin to comprehend the position sheʼs in at this point. Itʼs just… itʼs so far outside of what Iʼd think a human could understand. I mean, Iʼm not human anymore but… I donʼt really KNOW what a demon thinks like. I donʼt know how much my thought process still needs to change.

Just living for as long as Nira has must change a person. Humans, when they get older, start to become more set in there ways for the most part but… is it the same for demons? Do they have something built into them genetically to help stop that? I mean they must right? Humans already have an issue with stagnating at points and demon society would surely be the same if they had that issue.

Maybe Iʼm just not seeing it though? Nira is, for many intents and purposes, a scientist and has been for a long time. Perhaps sheʼs more able to come to grips with new knowledge? Itʼs really hard to know. Are human scientist like that? Itʼs more a gut feeling then a real world knowledge thing… so perhaps Iʼm wrong?

I canʼt even compare her to any other demons. Iʼve never seen anyone else even close to her age freak out like this and I donʼt even really know her age, and… even then, Iʼm not sure Iʼve really seen a freak out like this before. She… she told me because she thinks I can understand and… I was happy to hear that until… until I realised I CANNOT understand. Itʼs not even close. I have no idea.*

”Iʼm sorry” said Kat

*I donʼt know what else to say. Itʼs all I can say. I came on to hard here.*

”Itʼs ok dear. I didnʼt mean to unload all that on you…” said Nira slowly

Kat shook her head and said, ”No Iʼm not saying because of that… or well… I sort of am. Itʼs because… well… as much as you where willing to open up to me because Iʼm someone who understands… I donʼt think I do? I mean… I donʼt really deserve that kind of faith. Youʼve… youʼve spent so long thinking about this clearly and… I didnʼt really mean to make it all so painful…”

”Itʼs fine Kat” said Nira smiling as she walked up and brought the younger demon into a hug. Kat stiffened for an instant before relaxing in Niraʼs grip. ”I didnʼt expect you to understand everything, however, I know you do understand ENOUGH. Thatʼs why I shared. As much as I love my husband, he doesnʼt understand, he CANʼT. He is so weak to his family that this sort of thing would fly over his head. Oh sure heʼd listen to me, and hear me out, and maybe give suggestions… but he canʼt understand even what you can Kat, so I really do thank you for this”