Immortal Paladin

”How about we spend the night together?”

The words had already left my mouth before I realized just how badly they could be misconstrued.

”The night is still young.”

Okay? That was just as bad. No—actually, I made it worse.

Jia Yun flinched. I swore I saw it. Just the smallest movement, the slightest recoil, but it was there.

Crap.

I guessed I was still yet to fully integrate into this world. How the hell were you supposed to say Do you want to hang out? in xianxia without it sounding suggestive? There had to be a way, right? I mean, people had to make friends here somehow.

Jia Yun, to her credit, managed to school her expression, but there was a certain stiffness to it now, like she had swallowed something bitter.

”If Senior Da wishes to be accompanied by this disciple for a night, then this disciple will willingly come with you.”

I opened my mouth to clarify, but then—

”However,” she continued, her voice calm yet carrying an unmistakable edge, ”be forewarned that Jia Yun cherishes her purity.”

…

Purity?

Wait. Was this a religious thing? Maybe she was vegetarian or had some strict diet restrictions? Was she forbidden from eating certain street foods?

I could work with that.

”That’s fine with me,” I said, nodding as if I totally understood what was going on. ”Feel free to say no if something displeases you.”

Jia Yun and I walked side by side through the dimly lit corridors of the Isolation Path Sect’s quarters. The air was thick with silence, the kind that settled when two people weren’t sure whether they should be talking.

The Isolation Path disciples’ quarters were nestled in the quieter parts of the City Governor’s estate—an area where the air felt colder, the shadows stretched longer, and the presence of its occupants was more like an ominous whisper than an actual presence. It wasn’t eerie, exactly, but it had that undeniable feeling of something watching from the corners.

Just as we arrived, we crossed paths with a familiar figure.

Fan Shi.

Jia Yun and Fan Shi locked gazes, their expressions sharp and unreadable.

For a moment, I thought I saw sparks flicker between them. Not the good kind, either—the kind that happened before a battlefield exploded.

I cleared my throat. “Ah, Fan Shi, I was looking for you.”

Fan Shi cupped her hands and gave a slight bow. “Thank you for your instructions, Senior Da. How may I help you?”

Instructions? Oh. She probably meant our brief exchange back in the arena when she was fighting Jia Yun.

I glanced at Jia Yun, who visibly flinched at the word instructions. Her lips pressed together into a thin line.

Crap. Was she misunderstanding something?

I decided to push ahead before she could overthink it. “Let’s go out.”

…

Fan Shi blinked. Jia Yun narrowed her eyes.

Okay. Now I sounded like I was asking her out.

I quickly clarified, “The two of you started off on the wrong foot. One of you nearly died, and the other was about to be absolutely and one-sidedly beaten up to death.”

Fan Shi frowned slightly. Jia Yun’s head tilted—like a curious raccoon.

I continued, “This martial tournament exists to hone your skills and showcase your strength to the world. Whatever grudge you’ve built up over the fight, it’s not worth keeping. Anyways, I want the two of you to make amends.”

Fan Shi looked at me like I had just spoken in an ancient, forgotten tongue.

Jia Yun folded her arms, considering my words.

I could already tell this was going to be a challenge.

Okay, maybe I had ulterior motives for inviting them to hang out.

Gu Jie was busy cultivating with Lei Fen’s help, and I had grown into the habit of enjoying the festival—seeing the stalls, sampling the food, and just taking in the atmosphere. I had invited Chang Fan to join me, but he insisted he had duties to attend to.

Disappointed, I had originally planned to go out alone and have fun at my own pace. I had too few friends, but then I remembered—I could just make some.

That’s when I thought of Jia Yun. She still owed me a conversation, and, more importantly, she basically owed me her life after I healed her. She wouldn’t refuse.

And then there was Fan Shi.

There were a lot of reasons I wanted to talk to her. How could she use psychic magic? Why was she so hostile to me when we first met? Did she have a personal grudge against people like me, or was I just unlucky?

It was just a bonus that I had the perfect chance in my lap to mediate between these two.

If I succeeded, I’d have some goodwill with both of them—a good icebreaker for the future. If I failed, well, at least I tried.

For all the tragedies in the world, I figured most of them were likely caused by a lack of trying. Not that I had proof. Personal experience would suffice, I guess.

I clapped my hands together. “Follow me, kids. I’m going to show you a good time.”

Jia Yun and Fan Shi exchanged glances before silently following as I led them through the City Governor’s estate and out towards the festival.

The guards at the gates looked confused as two beauties trailed behind me.

Couldn’t blame them.

These two were neck and neck this morning. From what I remembered, their fight had been the most intense and brutal of the tournament so far.

Fan Shi had almost been mauled by a she-fox who was a whole realm higher than her. And then Jia Yun had her soul ripped out and was humiliated by a brute-like haymaker.

And now here we were.

Nothing suspicious about that at all.

If I was going to take a side, I would, of course, take Fan Shi’s side.

And yes, I was aware I was being biased.

I guessed it was because the Isolation Path Sect was taking care of Gu Jie. Maybe that shouldn’t have been a factor, but it was.

Painful as it was to admit, objectively speaking, the fault lay with us adults back in the VIP box when we started betting things we shouldn’t have.

Sure, it was Long Xieren who suggested it, but he had framed it as a friendly wager—something casual, without any stakes. I was the one who escalated it after seeing what Fan Shi could do.

Because of the bets and the stakes in place, the Cloud Mist Sect decided to go all in. They used their trump card—whatever that technique was.

In summary, I am guilty.

Fan Shi’s voice cut through my thoughts.

“Senior Da, I believe I was owed a treasure after you won the bet… against the Elders and the City Governor.”

There was a barb in her tone.

It wasn’t directed at me.

Jia Yun looked like she didn’t care, her expression perfectly neutral, but I noticed her hand trembling beneath her sleeve.

I sighed. “I gave it to Elder Lei Fen. He said it was too good for you and that he would compensate you with something of equivalent value. If you’re not satisfied with that, I could talk to him.”

Fan Shi’s lips pressed into a thin line before she nodded. “It is fine, Senior. I am satisfied with this arrangement.”

We finally arrived at the footpath where the night market stalls were starting to appear. The scent of sizzling skewers, steamed buns, and fried dough filled the air, mixing with the laughter of festival-goers.

Maybe this would be fun after all.

We were gathering attention.

And yes, I was pretty sure it was because we were pretty—myself included.

My charisma stat probably allowed me to look good even while touching grass or something.

However, the real reason we were drawing so many looks wasn’t just my overwhelming charm. It was because Fan Shi and Jia Yun had fought in the tournament earlier today. Their battle had been one of the most intense and brutal ones so far. And now, they were walking side by side with me, which must have looked downright bizarre.

“I didn’t foresee this,” I sighed. I guessed you couldn’t always be the smart guy.

“At least they’re giving us a wide berth,” I muttered, watching as festival-goers hurriedly stepped aside to let us pass. Nobody wanted to get caught in the crossfire if these two suddenly started fighting again.

Jia Yun and Fan Shi remained quiet. Not in the comfortable kind of way, but in the I don’t want to be here but I have no choice kind of way.

Just say no if you don’t want to come. Was that so hard?

They weren’t even making side comments to each other, which I found more concerning.

I started thinking. How should I make these two fellows amend in a way they would leave without any lingering grievances?

I recalled Fan Shi being beaten into a corner by a fox-shaped Jia Yun. And then there was Jia Yun, completely and utterly humiliated when Fan Shi hit her with Soul Rend.

I vaguely remembered the flavor text of Soul Rend describing it as a staple for soul-suckers and mind flayers. And those two monsters were notorious sadists.

I could imagine Soul Rend being a torturous experience.

So yeah.

The grudge between these two must be very deep.

I walked.

They followed.

I turned into an alley.

They still followed.

What was up with these gals? Did they have no self-awareness? I had even prepared an excuse in my mind in case they questioned me.

I stopped and turned to them with a stern expression.

“I said I’d show you guys a good time, right?”

They nodded, still wary of each other.

I smiled and reached into my Item Box, producing a small vial labeled Chibi Perfume.

“Stay still,” I said as I sprayed them.

That sounded wrong in so many ways.

I sprayed myself too for good measure.

Fan Shi took a sniff. “It smells good.”

Yep, it did. I was surprised too.

Then Jia Yun, in the most serious tone imaginable, said, “Is it a sex-enhancing drug?”

I froze.

Did I hear that right?

I turned to Fan Shi, hoping for some sort of reaction. Judging by her utterly confused expression, I probably heard it right.

“No,” I deadpanned. “It will make me small.”

Jia Yun nodded as if coming to a grand realization. “Does small feel better?”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. Was it possible this ice-cold beauty was actually an airhead?

“No,” I sighed. “I don’t get what you mean… It will turn us small, so don’t panic, okay?”

A soft pop filled the air, followed by a shimmer of starry sparks.

Fan Shi was the first to shrink, her form turning childlike while her clothes magically adjusted to fit her smaller body—just as advertised by the gimmicky perfume in LLO.

Jia Yun blinked. “Small… Huh?”

There was a long pause as she stared at Fan Shi, then at me, then back at Fan Shi.

“Jia Yun understands,” she said solemnly. “Jia Yun shall not panic then, Senior.”

Good. A normal response—

“But you prefer us small?”

Okay.

Okay.

That sounded wrong on so many levels.

Before I could say anything, my own transformation hit me. With another pop, I shrank down, my body now that of a child, still dressed appropriately.

I sighed. “Let’s spend the night as kids and have fun, so no need to hold back. Also—” I shot them a sharp look. “No getting into fights.”

Jia Yun finally shrank as well, looking absolutely bewildered as she examined her little hands. Then she looked at Fan Shi. Then at me. Then back at her little hands.

I could practically hear the gears in her tiny head struggling to turn.

“So, it wasn’t that kind of spend the night together?” murmured chibi Jia Yun, her tiny arms crossed as she looked up at me in contemplation.

I sighed.

Realizing what she had been thinking this entire time made me want to sit down and rethink my life choices.

Fan Shi tilted her head, confused. “What? What kind of night together?”

Not helping, Fan Shi.

I waved my hand. “Forget it. Just—forget it.”

Jia Yun gave a slow nod as if I had just confirmed some deep, unspoken truth for her. “Jia Yun sees… Senior prefers playing with children first before—”

I clapped my hands together. “Nope. Stopping you right there.”

Fan Shi looked between us, still confused, but thankfully decided not to pursue the topic further.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. “Alright, listen up. The whole point of this is to experience the festival without everyone staring at us like we’re walking disasters. No tournament politics, no sect rivalries, no grudges. Just kids having fun, understood?”

Jia Yun nodded solemnly. “Jia Yun understands.”

Fan Shi hesitated before sighing and nodding. “Understood, Senior Da.”

“Good,” I said, turning to lead the way. “Now, let’s go mess around before I regret everything.”