Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 168: The space travel of a domestic air conditioner

Translator: Stardu5t Editor: Kurisu

Cultivator Sunflower looked for a hotel and used a computer there to view the information inside the USB flash drive. He was going to see just what ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’ had been doing for the past one year.

He started from the front and scrutinized it word by word in fear of leaving out important and useful clues.

However, after looking through half a year worth of information—darn it, it was just an extremely ordinary everyday campus life of a university student: studying, attending classes, meeting new friends, getting good grades, and occasionally playing games. What he liked the most was going to the rental bookstore every day to ”freeload” books.

This was a sports-loving single youth who excelled in both morals and studies.

However, practically nothing valuable could be found!

Did the Intelligence Department trick me? Cultivator Sunflower thought that someone was playing jokes on him. Luckily, he held his horses and continued to read on all the way to the information on the past month and caught something suspicious.

According to the investigations of the Intelligence Department of Limitless Demon Sect, a month ago, there was a small group of cultivators from the nearby town that investigated the past of ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’. However, afterwards… the leader of this group known as ‘Altar Master’ died mysteriously, and this case mysteriously ended as well.

According to the report from Limitless Demon Sect, the corpse of Altar Master was ultimately found on a subway. His body got cut into several pieces by someone with exquisite sword skills. The killer seemed like a western monk, a First Stage cultivator with decent skills, who was currently incarcerated.

That was all he could find in the Limitless Demon Sect’s online database. After all, that small group acted discreetly, and it had already happened more than a month ago—it would be hard to retrieve any useful clues.

After that, ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’, Su Clan’s Seven, and a junior of the Su Clan assembled together and participated in the Moon Saber Sect incident. Opposing Young Master Hai’s evil scheme, they successfully removed a ‘Blood God Crystal’ from his clutches.

Those were the only two events when ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’ showed a side of him that separated him from an average kid.

Cultivator Sunflower pinched his chin, and started to get lost in deep thoughts.

According to the information report, the remaining members of that group are First Stage cultivators with two, three apertures open—their cultivation techniques are pretty weak. Perhaps I could make use of them—all I have to do is give them better techniques and materials. Who knows, maybe they might end up becoming my underlings?

However, even if that group could be used in action, how should he deal with the senior next to ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’?

Ah, wait a minute...was he forgetting something?

F*ck!!!

Young Mistress Candy!!!

Previously, he’d entrusted a task to Young Mistress Candy—to go to ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’ house to steal the Blood God Crystal.

But the thing was, as of now, that ‘Stressed by a Mountain of Books’ had this intimidating senior cultivator by his side, and yet he had forgotten to remind Young Mistress Candy about it. If she secretly tried to enter his house to steal the Blood God Crystal, she was definitely going to be strung up and beaten by that senior. Who knows, she might even be locked up in a basement, subjected to all kinds of torture.

Cultivator Sunflower quickly grabbed his phone and dialed Young Mistress Candy’s phone number as fast as he could. Little Candy, ah, Little Candy, I hope you ain’t that quick to act! Pick up the phone, quick, pick up the phone!

”Sorry, the number you are dialing is currently unavailable.”

The automatic message from the phone allowed him to understand how brutal reality was.

No, dont. Don’t tell me she had already started the operation?

The hand in which Cultivator Sunflower was holding the phone stiffened. Should I look for Little Candy and bring her back?

However, whenever he thought about the intimidating senior who contributed to the ‘falling on the ground’ incident, it inevitably became a trauma for Cultivator Sunflower.

If I cross paths with that senior, he won’t even have to attack me—it’d be enough for him to just throw himself on the ground as soon as I get close to him!

What should I do?

Not save her when she is in mortal danger?

Cultivator Sunflower’s face was filled with despair and helplessness; he was at a loss.

At this time, he did not actually realize that there was a monster pekingese behind him that calmly used his claws to desactivate the video function on the single-lens reflex camera. He used magic to conceal his physical form, and openly tailed Cultivator Sunflower while videoing him. He waited till he was about done, then carefreely took his leave.

After completing the mission, I will get a new model of laptop. Having my own laptop means never having to worry about fighting to use the computer with Song Shuhang or Senior White ever again. I can now play video games with wife whenever I want to!

Oh yeah!

To celebrate a little, what should I do?

I should probably go back to scold that stupid Yellow Mountain. He actually did not come over to get me.

I’m gonna spit saliva all over his face. How could that suppressed Daoist Priest Cloudy Mist be more important than me, who ran away from home?

What should I do after that?

Hmm, I should go back and think about how to look for some music, wife can’t possibly spend the whole day accompanying me. After all, ordinary people need some sleep.

And since Yellow Mountain, that big idiot, did not come and pick me up, if I don’t look for some nice songs, I would be bored to death…

***

At this moment, in Medicine Master’s multi-storied building.

Venerable White’s face was filled with content as he placed a laptop, with its screen displaying the structure of the air conditioner, next to him.

Thereafter, he disassembled the interior and exterior of the air conditioner and spread the components all over the floor.

”The mind of human beings’ is getting more and more meaningful; cultivators don’t need things like air conditioners, but to ordinary mankind, in the sweltering heat of summer, this is a must-have. It is really interesting, this era is truly a wonderful era, there are too many things that are worthy of being disassembled!

Ok, before little friend Song Shuhang wakes up, I should probably assemble the air conditioner back together,” said Venerable White as he started to piece the the air conditioner—not forgetting the adjacent part of ventilation system—together. This time, he followed the lesson learned from the previous episode—from the moment he started disassembling, he memorized every step clearly.

Soon after, the air conditioner had been completely reassembled.

”This time, I did not leave out a single part. Indeed, if I am serious about doing something, there would not be any problem!” Venerable White’s face was full of confidence as he brought the air conditioner to the second floor to reassemble it as a whole with the vent, and plug it in.

After switching it on with the remote, Senior White’s face beamed with confidence!

Approximately 5 to 6 seconds later.

”Boom, boom…” came the familiar sound of circuits frying. Shortly after, there was a gust of black smoke.

The air conditioner overheated and was fried as well.

Venerable White’s body stiffened, and he hurriedly unplugged it from the power source.

”Why did it become like that, I clearly followed every step and there was no problem! Why did it overheat!?”

Senior White was extremely frustrated.

At the same time, he secretly glanced at Song Shuhang’s room—little friend Song Shuhang was still sound asleep.

”I don’t have a choice, I just have to use magic to replace the air conditioner’s function!” Senior White rubbed his hands and disassembled it anew, preparing to engrave a spirit gathering formation, and then another automatic temperature-adjusting formation.

However… as he was about to engrave the formation, he suddenly thought of something.

”Ah, wait a minute—I don’t think I have learned the ‘automatic temperature-adjusting’ formation!” Senior White stared blankly.

That was because after cultivators opened the Heart Aperture, they would already possess an automatic body temperature-adjusting ability. There was no need for any ‘automatic temperature-adjusting’ formation!

”What should I do?” Senior White stared at the air conditioner with a guilty expression.

After much deliberation, he secretly took down the air conditioner once again and placed it into a box, moving it to the courtyard downstairs.

Thereafter, he found a branch in the courtyard at random and pared it into the shape of a sword. He then engraved a bunch of complicated formations on it.

At last, spiritual qi poured into the wooden sword.

After those steps had been completed, the original plain wooden sword transformed into a floating rainbow-colored wooden sword!

Senior White mumbled, ”Haha, it’s been a long time since I created something, I’m a bit out of practice.”

Disposable flying sword 004 edition!

As the name implied, this was a one-time use flying sword, uniquely created by Senior White.

Following after, Senior White placed the packaged air conditioner onto the wooden flying sword.

He executed a sword art, and displayed the sword controlling technique, ”Do your thing!”

‘Disposable flying sword 004 edition’ rose, along with the air conditioner, and soared into the sky, higher and higher.

It soared, and soared. Upon reaching a certain height, it transformed into chunks of ice. However, the flying sword’s speed was not affected, and it continued at a speed which wouldn’t make it burst into flames because of friction, freely crossing through the atmospheric layer.

Just like that, it flew into space, starting its endless voyage…

As long as the spiritual energy within the ‘disposable flying sword 004 edition’ did not get completely consumed before that, and as long as it did not collide with any stars, a black hole, meteorites, or any similar dangers in the vacuum, this air conditioner would become the earth’s first domestic air conditioner to enjoy space travel.

Hmm, in fact, before the air conditioner, a luxurious carriage used by the emperor, three mechanic dragons, two mechanic elephants, a monster snake that once committed an offense against Senior White, a precise seismograph… etc. shared this experience as well. All of them once sat on ‘disposable flying sword 001’, ‘disposable flying sword 002’, and ‘disposable flying sword 003’ under Senior White’s help, and embarked on their tragic space travel.

With regards to sending those items into space, Senior White had already showed his long-time experience. He could maintain control over the flying sword’s speed, allowing it to cross through the atmospheric layer without exploding in flames. The sword and its burden also would not lose power and end up falling from the sky back onto earth.

Via a sword art, freely starting its space voyage.

Upon completing everything, Senior White wiped his sweat.

Then, he returned to the second floor, and in the original location where the air conditioner had been placed, he engraved… an illusory art formation.

Soon after, a lifelike AC unit appeared in its original position.

After that, Senior White drew another illusory art formation outside. Lifelike ventilation system parts then appeared in their original position as well.

”Haha, done.

After that, in a few days’ time, I will go to the chat group’s fellow daoist friends to change some money and secretly buy an air conditioner in its place. For now, just gotta make do with this,” Senior White let out a hollow laugh, hoping that fellow daoist Song Shuhang wouldn’t sense anything odd... would he?

Should be able to get away with this, my illusory art is after all of a pretty high standard.

Hee hee hee~

After engraving the formation, Senior White felt kind of guilty. He held his own laptop and went back to the room Song Shuhang prepared for him on the third floor.

However, after returning to the third floor, he saw the color TV in his room.

He couldn’t control it any longer, his fingers started wriggling.

Three minutes later, Senior White gritted his teeth, and resolutely said, ”It’s ok, disassembling one or disassembling two is the same! At most, by then I will buy a brand new set back!”

Thereafter, with a face filled with happiness, he started disassembling the color TV…

***

Meanwhile, Song Shuhang was already sleeping soundly.

Because he had used too much of his mental energy, he slept exceptionally well.

A small black dot suddenly appeared on the top of the head of the fast asleep Song Shuhang.

This black dot quickly condensed and transformed into a black spiritual mass, giving off a strong aura of resentment...