Let Me Game in Peace

Although Leng Zongzheng had a residence on campus, the place Zhou Wen was heading to wasn’t on campus, but in an inconspicuous yard in the old district of Luoyang City.

The yard was very ordinary. As it was very humid nearby, moss grew at the base of the walls. There were also many plants that looked like creepers on the walls.

Underneath all this, a building was constructed of red bricks that were often seen in the past. Although it was very clean, it couldn’t hide the ravages left by time. Some of the bricks on the walls were already showing signs of erosion.

“Chancellor Leng, it’s Zhou Wen. Are you home?” Zhou Wen knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Leng Zongzheng’s voice sounded from the building. When Zhou Wen pushed the door open and entered, Leng Zongzheng had brought out a pot of cactus.

“Chancellor Leng, is this your home?” Zhou Wen sized up the room and saw that the various decorations were very outdated, but they weren’t considered ancient. They gave off a mediocre and dilapidated feeling.

This was very different from the feeling Leng Zongzheng gave Zhou Wen. Be it his looks or actions, Leng Zongzheng had the demeanor of a nobleman. Furthermore, his Life Soul was something that looked very grand like the Demonic Organ Throne, so it made one feel that Leng Zongzheng was a person who placed great importance on the quality of life and details. He shouldn’t be living in such a mediocre home.

Zhou Wen didn’t see anything special in the yard. No matter how he searched, they were just daily necessities. There were even many items easily obtainable from street stalls.

“I lived here when I was young. This is my grandfather’s old residence.” Leng Zongzheng placed the cactus by the side and patted the dust off his hands. He continued, “In the past, I hated this place. I always felt that I had to stand out and live in a beautiful big house. I had to live like a decent human. However, I didn’t know when it started, but I suddenly felt that living here was more comfortable, so I moved back.”

“This is about returning to the basics, right?” Zhou Wen said.

Leng Zongzheng glanced at Zhou Wen and curled his lips. “What do you mean by returning to the basics? To put it bluntly, I’ve had too much braised meat and want to eat some vegetables to get rid of the cloying taste. I haven’t reached that stage yet. I haven’t tried many good things and I’m not sick of them.”

With that said, Leng Zongzheng sat down on a wooden stool in the yard. As he basked in the sun, he continued, “I’ve also considered why I wanted to move back. In terms of comfort, this place definitely can’t compare to any place I’ve lived in. In terms of convenience, it’s not convenient here either. If you want to say that it has a nice environment and that it’s quiet enough, this place is far inferior to the villa I bought in the past. To say that I have good neighbors and how conducive it is to stay here, it’s not the case either. No one stays here anymore. The old neighbors have long vanished. Even if they are still here, I don’t have a good impression of them. I never really liked them.”

“Then why do you like living here?” Zhou Wen asked curiously.

“I’ve thought about this question for a long time. Later, I confirmed that the reason I like living here is that I’m afraid,” Leng Zongzheng said.

“Afraid?” Zhou Wen was even more puzzled.

In terms of safety, this place was far inferior to the college. There were no defensive measures. It was just a dilapidated old city district. Any Terror-grade could reduce this place to ruins with one swoop.

“Yes, afraid,” Leng Zongzheng said. “People are afraid of death to varying degrees. Some people put the fear of death first, while others put the fear of death behind some other things. Therefore, when they encounter certain things, they appear to be unafraid of death. However, no one is unafraid of death. It’s just that he has encountered something that terrifies him more than death, making death pale in comparison.”

As Leng Zongzheng spoke, he took out a lighter and cigarette box and flicked out a cigarette with great familiarity. He held it in his mouth and lit it up. Then, he took a drag and closed his eyes as though he was enjoying it.

Zhou Wen looked at Leng Zongzheng in a daze. This was very different from the impression Leng Zongzheng usually gave him. If he didn’t know that this was Leng Zongzheng, he would have imagined him to be a decadent middle-aged man who liked to gamble and drink.

After a while, Leng Zongzheng closed his eyes. Basking in the sun, he continued, “Later on, I thought carefully. My fear of death should be ranked third. There are two things that rank before death. If I were to encounter those two things, I would rather choose death.”

“Are you here because you are afraid of those two things happening?” Zhou Wen asked.

To his surprise, Leng Zongzheng shook his head and said, “No, those two things have already happened.”

Zhou Wen looked at Leng Zongzheng in a daze, unsure what he was getting at.

Leng Zongzheng continued, “In the past, I was very afraid that I would become someone like my parents, but now, I’m fundamentally no different from them. In the past, I was very afraid that Grandpa would leave me. That way, I would be alone in this world, but that day still came. I live here because I’m afraid of loneliness, but in fact, I’ve always been alone.”

Zhou Wen didn’t know what to say. He had occasionally had some thoughts about what Leng Zongzheng had said, but he didn’t think them through as clearly as Leng Zongzheng.

However, looking at Leng Zongzheng, Zhou Wen felt that Chancellor Leng wasn’t as difficult to get along with as he had imagined.

Leng Zongzheng took another drag of his cigarette and pressed the remaining half of it on the cement flower bed beside him. He extinguished the cigarette butt and reached out to flick it into the trash can.

“Living here gives me an inexplicable sense of security. I feel that this is my tiny world. As long as I hide here, I don’t have to worry about anything, nor do I have to worry about anything. As long as I sleep, it’s as though anything bad will disappear.”

With that said, Leng Zongzheng laughed self-deprecatingly. “But in fact, nothing is resolved. I’m just fooling myself.”

“You can’t say that. Humans need a place for their hearts to seek refuge. A place that allows their minds to recover and be nurtured. Perhaps this place doesn’t provide you with any substantial help in resolving problems, but it can calm your mind and allow you to face those problems with a calm mind. That is very important,” Zhou Wen said solemnly.

“You’re right,” Leng Zongzheng said as he suddenly extended his palm and pressed it on the wall beside him. The entire yard and house instantly shattered, turning into fragments that rose up.

“W-what are you doing…” Standing in the ruins, the rubble around him kept rising. Zhou Wen looked at Leng Zongzheng in a daze, unsure why he was doing this.

Amidst the shattered and rising fragments, Leng Zongzheng turned around and left. As he walked, he said, “Just as you said, everyone has a place they seek refuge with. It’s a place of terror that’s closer to the heart than death. If you encounter an enemy that doesn’t rank the terror of Death first one day, you should think about how to find that place that belongs to him. Killing someone is about slaying the heart. Sometimes, the slaying of the heart is even more terrifying than death. You are overall good, but you are too kind. Sometimes, kindness is a sin.”

Killing someone… is the slaying of the heart… Zhou Wen stood in the ruins and looked at Leng Zongzheng’s departing figure as emotions stirred in his heart.