Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 803: A Grip on the Handle

”Why is there so little?”

That was the first thing Kyle heard when he showed up with the finished product to find Bones.

”Minister Bones, there are so many people in the Ministry of Magic. I can’t be expected to make all their ID badges.”

”I already asked Cedric to help you, didn’t I?” Bones looked up from the mountain of paperwork in front of her, pushing her glasses up her nose. ”If that’s not enough, I can assign you another assistant. How about one of the Weasley kids? I remember they’re also part of your little group… er, partnership.”

”You have a good memory, but that’s not part of our agreement.” Kyle shook his head and said firmly, ”My job is only to handle the communication items used by the Aurors—or more precisely, the magical signal in the ID tags.”

”As for the rest... strictly speaking, that falls under the Ministry’s responsibility. It’s not something I should do, nor something I can do. I’m not officially part of the Ministry anymore. If something goes wrong with the badges later, fixing it will be a hassle. You can’t just keep calling me back over and over.”

In truth, what Kyle had produced in a little over three hours was just a semi-finished prototype. If the Ministry truly intended to use it as a functional ID badge, it would need a full set of enchantments to verify identity, including name-based magic.

The task wasn’t difficult, just extremely tedious—and it required being very familiar with everyone in the Ministry.

Kyle had no idea how many people worked there, but it was definitely in the hundreds, if not more. He had no desire to saddle himself with that kind of workload.

Ron had been complaining nonstop at home lately about how exhausting work was. Just listening to him was tiring enough… no need to experience it firsthand.

”In that case... alright. I’ll find someone else to handle it.”

Bones thought it over and seemed to find the reasoning sound. Given Kyle’s insistence, she didn’t push any further.

”So, this cooperation of ours...”

”Consider it tentatively settled,” Bones said with a smile. She set her paperwork aside, pulled out a case, and popped the latch open.

Inside was a pile of glittering Galleons.

”This is what you came for, isn’t it?” Bones pushed the case toward Kyle. ”Eighteen hundred Galleons. All yours.”

Kyle appreciated Bones’s no-nonsense attitude—especially when it came to payments.

Another hefty income. Time to spruce up Norbert’s lair a bit… Kyle grinned as he packed the case away.

”Aren’t you going to count it?”

”No need.” Kyle waved his hand. ”I trust Minister Bones wouldn’t mess up something as trivial as this.”

That’s what he said, but truthfully, he just didn’t want to bother counting.

Besides, the task didn’t need his personal attention.

Out of Bones’s sight, a small, furry creature had already begun to squirm its way through the tiny gap beside the latch and into the case.

The crack was so narrow that even a piece of paper wouldn’t have fit—but the Niffler made it through with ease. It flattened itself like a flounder, lying belly-down on the Galleons, while its stubby little arms flew into action, scooping the coins into its pouch.

Moments later, the once-heavy case was nearly empty, with only a very flat-looking Niffler left inside.

After stashing away all the Galleons, its body puffed up with a soft pop, swelling back into its usual round shape. It lounged contentedly in the corner, patting its belly with satisfaction.

Suddenly, a beam of light shone from above, followed by a large hand reaching in and lifting the Niffler out.

”You’re quick, aren’t you?”

By now, Kyle had left the Minister’s office and was standing alone in the lift.

He held the Niffler up in front of his face, watching its little legs flail about. ”So, how many were there?”

The Niffler squeaked twice.

”Right on the money.” Kyle nodded, then casually tossed the Niffler into the air. As it fell, he opened his suitcase.

The little creature dropped straight in.

With a snap, Kyle shut the case and gave the latch a quick double turn.

Anti-Niffler measures. These little things could squeeze through any crack, no matter how narrow. Even the airtight vaults in Muggle banks weren’t safe from them.

To stop a Niffler, you had to use specific spells.

Gringotts’ vaults and Newt’s suitcase both had similar enchantments.

Gringotts used it for security; Newt used it for peace of mind.

Having to catch a Niffler ten times a day? Even for someone as spry as a young Newt, that would’ve been unbearable—never mind now that he was over a hundred.

Kyle didn’t head straight back to the main hall. Instead, he made a stop at the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.

”The Kelpie info you asked for is on the third shelf to the left.”

”Dean’s report is on the desk.”

”Cedric? Cedric hasn’t been with the Committee for the past two days.”

”How should I know where he is? Can’t you ask him yourself?”

”Don’t touch that—that’s not where the reports go...”

When Kyle arrived, the place was bustling. People were rushing in and out, all busy with their tasks.

Ron was among them. It was clear he was gradually getting used to the work—and doing a decent job at it, too.

Kyle stood in the doorway for five full minutes without anyone noticing him.

Until Fred and George returned from outside.

”Kyle! You’ve got some nerve showing your face here!” The two of them marched over with mock menace, raising their arms as if to throw them around Kyle’s shoulders from both sides.

It was their signature move—once they got an arm around Kyle’s shoulders, there was no escaping.

”Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not here to see you.”

Kyle smoothly took two steps back, then spun around to dodge their arms.

”And Cedric? Is he still around?”

”He left about three hours ago,” Fred answered, raising his arm again while replying to Kyle’s question. ”Mr. Diggory said he was feeling really dizzy and couldn’t concentrate anymore.”

”Then never mind,” Kyle said, casually taking a step to the left and walking into the office.

With the doorway between them, it was much harder for Fred and George to box him in.

”So what exactly have you two been working on these past couple of days?”

”Same old stuff,” Kyle replied. ”Bones wants it kept confidential. You’ll find out tomorrow.”

”Can’t you just tell us now? Why wait until tomorrow?” George looked a bit put out. ”There’s no one here but us.”

”No one? Really?” Kyle glanced into the office—there were at least three people rummaging through files, and two others waiting for Ron to hand them some documents.

”Just keep your voice down, will you?” Fred said dismissively. ”As long as you spill, we’ll let you off the hook. Sound fair?”

”Don’t forget, we still have that cup.”

That was a plain, undisguised threat.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, unfazed. ”If you like it that much, keep it. It’s not doing me any good anyway.”

”So you’re really not going to say anything?”

”No need to,” Kyle shook his head. ”At least not here at the Ministry. I do have a reputation to maintain.”

”Heh...” Fred sneered, but didn’t press the issue any further.

”So you came here looking for Cedric?”

”Then you might as well head back.”

”I was just asking in passing.” Kyle pointed toward Ron, buried in a mountain of documents. ”I actually came to pick up Ron. Mrs. Weasley asked me this morning to bring him home. And to help him wrap up his work.”

”What do you mean?”

”You don’t get it?” Kyle shrugged. ”It means Ron doesn’t need to show up at the Ministry anymore starting tomorrow. His work will naturally be handed off to someone else.”

Whether by coincidence or triggered by some key phrase, just as Kyle finished speaking, Ron suddenly looked up from his busywork.

”Oh—Kyle! What did you just say?” He instinctively tossed whatever he was holding to the side and stumbled over.

”You said—I don’t have to come to work tomorrow?”

Kyle had never seen Ron’s eyes light up like that before—like he’d just laid eyes on a Bowtruckle’s favorite tree.

”That’s right,” Kyle nodded. ”I already spoke with my dad at lunch. All you need to do now is hand off your tasks to the person taking over... There should be someone helping you out today, right? That’s the one. You need to give them everything you’ve been working on, both finished and ongoing.”

”Yeah, they’re right over there,” Ron said, pointing behind him.

”Perfect,” Kyle said. ”Once you’ve handed things off, head over to the Auror Office and have your registry removed.”

”Got it!” Ron called, already dashing off. ”Wait here—I’ll go finish the handover now!”

”No rush. We still have to wait for Hermione—she hasn’t come back yet,” Kyle reminded him.

But Ron was too caught up in the joy of not having to come back to work to hear a word.

Kyle shook his head and turned around—only to find himself face to face with two very disgruntled expressions.

”You just said Ron doesn’t have to come in tomorrow?”

”Is that for real?”

”Of course,” Kyle said. ”Hogwarts starts in three days. He still has homework to finish.”

”What about us?”

The twins stepped forward in unison.

Kyle instinctively backed up a step, lowering his voice. ”What do you mean, you?”

”Don’t play dumb,” Fred narrowed his eyes.

”Ron and Hermione are both done here. What about us? When do we get to leave the Ministry?”

”Anytime—it’s after hours.”

”I said stop playing dumb!” George cracked his knuckles loudly. ”We mean, like, the kind where we don’t have to show up tomorrow or the day after, either.”

”You should’ve said that earlier,” Kyle said, turning his head slightly. ”Are you starting school in September?”

”Obviously not. We graduated two years ago.”

”Exactly,” Kyle said, patting him on the shoulder. ”So since you already know you’re not going back to school, why ask such a childish question?”

”You’re not students anymore, so of course you have to keep working.”

”You—!” Fred and George’s eyes practically turned red. In that moment, they really wanted to punch Kyle—never mind that even together they weren’t a match for him. They just wanted to land a hit.

It wasn’t about winning. It was about getting it out of their system.

But just then, the elevator doors slid open again.

Mr. Weasley stepped out. Even from a distance, he immediately spotted the three of them standing by the door.

“Oh, Kyle, I didn’t expect you to be here already.”

“And Fred, George—what are you two doing blocking the doorway? Move aside, don’t stand in the way.”

“Yes, Dad.”

The two could only swallow their frustration for now and reluctantly stepped to the side.

Kyle took the chance to hop outside, sticking close to Mr. Weasley as he passed, raising an eyebrow at the twins on his way out.

“I can’t take it anymore…” Fred gasped. “I have to punch him!”

“And then go home and get punched by Mum.”

“I don’t care. I don’t believe Mum would actually hit me.”

“So… can we beat Kyle?” George asked.

“We can!” Fred said confidently, then added, “As long as we don’t use wands. It’s not like he’s going to cast Fiendfyre on us.”

“Good point,” George said, rubbing his chin. “Then once Dad’s not paying attention, we’ll jump him together.”

“Alright, that’s the plan.”

Just as they finished plotting, they looked up to see Kyle holding out a hand.

That wasn’t the surprising part.

The surprising part was the bag in his hand—stuffed full of gold Galleons. A rough estimate said there had to be over a hundred.

They blinked, stunned into silence.

“What are you standing there for? Take it,” Kyle said.

“Huh?” Fred and George were a little lost.

“It’s like this—the messenger coin you two didn’t have time to make? I finished it, and it earned a bit of profit,” Kyle explained.

“If you made it, why are we getting paid?” Fred asked.

“Cedric’s call,” Kyle said. “He’s been helping me out the past few days. I was going to give him a cut, but he turned it down.”

“He said you two were covering his actual job these days, and told me to pass this along to you.”

“Huh?”

“If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back,” Kyle said, making a move to withdraw the bag.

“We want it!”

“Of course we want it!”

The two snatched the bag from Kyle in a flash, opened it, and counted carefully.

Two hundred Galleons in total—way more than they had expected.

“Oh wow, this is a bit much.”

“Yeah, we were just doing our regular work. This is too generous.”

Even as they said that, the two quickly stuffed the Galleons into their pockets.

“By the way,” Kyle said slowly, “I could’ve sworn I just heard you plotting to pin me down and give me a beating?”

“Wha—what are you saying? You must’ve misheard.”

“We’re best mates! We’d never do something that low.”

“Yeah, yeah, definitely a misunderstanding.”

...

Whatever battle plan they had vanished instantly. The two of them rushed over to Kyle, massaging his shoulders and arms with exaggerated care, trying to butter him up as much as possible.

But Kyle didn’t get to enjoy their sudden attentiveness for long—Mr. Weasley soon emerged from the office with a very excited Ron.

“Hermione’s already back. She should be just outside the Auror Office by now. I’ll take you over.”

“Alright,” Kyle nodded and turned to follow him.

Fred and George accompanied him all the way to the elevator, still fawning over him.

“How did you do it?” As soon as the elevator doors closed, Ron couldn’t help but ask, “How did they go from that to treating you like royalty?”

“Oh, nothing,” Kyle said with a grin. “Just a tiny, insignificant little trick.”

Like he said—when it came to the Weasley twins, he had them wrapped around his finger.

...

The lift stopped at the second floor, and the group stepped out.

Just as Mr. Weasley had said, Hermione was already waiting outside the Auror Office.

After nearly a month working at the Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee, she looked noticeably thinner.

But unlike Ron, there wasn’t a trace of fatigue in her eyes—nor any sign of relief that it was finally over.

On the contrary, she looked like she hadn’t had enough.

“Do I really have to stop today? I’m so close to finishing my improvement plan.”

As soon as she saw them, she hurried over. “School doesn’t start until September—we’ve still got three days! Why end it so early?”

No doubt about it—she really didn’t want to stop.

Ron looked at her like she was from another planet.

“There’s no rush, Hermione,” Mr. Weasley said gently. “You can finish writing it at home if you want. Besides, school’s about to start. You should take some time to get ready.”

“But I’ve already gone through all the seventh-year material,” Hermione said without thinking. “And I finished the homework on the second day of break. I really don’t have anything left to prepare.”

Mr. Weasley instinctively glanced at Ron, then gave a small shake of his head and looked away.

“Well then, take the next few days to relax a little. Don’t think only about work. Don’t forget—you’re still a student.”