A Billion Stars Can’t Amount to You

”She had an ectopic pregnancy. When they found out what it was, she was already two months pregnant. The doctor said it was probably her first pregnancy and she didn’t really have any experience. Her period was late, yet she didn’t go to get it checked. She waited until her abdomen hurt and started bleeding before someone took her to the hospital.”

”Ectopic pregnancies are really dangerous, so when she was taken to the hospital and showed signs of bleeding, the situation was dire. The doctor arranged for an emergency operation.”

”During the operation, she bled excessively. I took a trip to the Health Care Center for Women and Children where she had her operation and spoke with the doctor to get an understanding of what happened. She said that at the time, Ji Yi almost lost her life on the operating table. Her heart really stopped beating, but the doctor practically called all the resident doctors over. They resuscitated her for two whole minutes before they pulled her back from death’s door…”

Ectopic pregnancy, bleeding, emergency operation, excessive bleeding, heart stopped beating, at death’s door… He Jichen’s heart was tugged harshly as each and every one of those cruel words flashed across his mind.

They were young back then. At Sucheng Yizhong, her one phrase ”Give them a condom each” and the silhouette of her back caught He Jichen’s attention.

At the time, he was young and reckless, fearless of any consequences, and grossly overestimated himself because of his ignorance about the world. He took advantage of the fact that nobody dared to mess with him at Sucheng Yizhong to order Fatty to search through all the classrooms, looking for her.

From the very moment he bumped into her at his house, he quietly and unknowingly started to change for her.

He studied hard just to help her highlight the key points in her textbook.

He stopped staying out late and came home on time, just to see her.

He protected her no matter what. He protected her so much that his underlings didn’t dare disturb her in fear that if they spoke out of turn to her and upset her, they’d be dragged out to the grove behind the school for a violent beating.

He figured that he did so much for her. He came from a good background and he was surrounded by people who served him well. When did he ever have to work to win anyone’s favor? So, when he found out that the person in Ji Yi’s heart wasn’t him, he was jealous, envious, and assumed that she didn’t know a good thing when she saw it…

He really considered wiping her clean from his world and finding someone better, but he couldn’t do it. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to see her, so he sneakily came to visit her once a month in Beijing.

At the time, he thought he treated her really well… so well in fact that even he was touched. So after they met again, he couldn’t take it when she tried to distance herself, run away from him, or wanted to have nothing to do with him. Whenever he couldn’t handle how she treated him, he thought up ways to hurt her the same way she hurt him.

He didn’t realize until after he took Han Zhifan’s call just now how much of a b*stard, just how repulsive he was.

Did he love her? He truly loved her. For all his life, he gave her his good side, his bad side, his aggrieved side, his crazy side… everything.

But his so-called love hurt her the deepest.

He always thought that Qian Ge setting her up for a car accident which put her in a three-year coma was the vilest, most inexcusable thing to do.

But he realized in that very moment: how was he any different from Qian Ge? Didn’t he also almost make her lose her life?

At that thought, He Jichen raised his hand up to his face and harshly slapped himself twice on the face.

Although he realized he loved her, he equally loved preserving his pride and dignity.

Yeah, he loved her, but he didn’t know how to love, nor had he ever learned how to love.