Young Master's PoV: Woke Up As A Villain In A Game One Day

Chapter 365: Spoils Of War And How To Distribute Them!

So, by the end of the game, this was how the distribution of spoils looked like:

Juliana walked away with the Ceremonial Dagger and the Ring of Movement.

The Ring granted her the ability to perform instant short-distance teleportation. Its effective range was tied directly to her rank, which was currently capped at five meters.

The Dagger, however, was the real prize. It possessed a rather nasty enchantment that made its blade sharper the sturdier the opponent’s defense. It was designed to ignore and pierce through any physical barrier, provided the enemy was of the same rank as Juliana or lower.

Poor Michael, on the other hand, received absolutely nothing but trauma.

It was hilarious. At least for me.

Ray also ended up empty-handed.

As for Kang... he finally played against me, and I decided to be kind to the mutt.

So I let him have the Cleaver of Sin. It was a khopesh, as massive and wickedly curved as a guillotine blade.

Its singular enchantment made sure that as long as the blade had tasted even a single drop of the enemy’s blood, the weapon would vibrate and pull the wielder toward their location, regardless of distance or any stealth-based concealment.

And since it would calculate the most efficient path to the victim, it meant Kang could effectively close his eyes and let the blade’s murderous instinct do the steering for him.

It was less of a sword and more of a homing missile with an edge. With it, he could even fight opponents he couldn’t sense.

Then, at last, Lily was successful in securing the Bringer of Lost Winds.

It was a crooked staff made of bone and gold. It gave her the power to summon howling gales and manifest storms — their scale was, again, dependent on her own rank.

She also managed to snag the Ring of Storage.

As its name suggested, it allowed her to store inanimate objects she could touch with it. Clichè, I know.

But the Ring could be used to capture and store physical attacks like arrows shot and spells cast directly at her.

In simple words, Lily could literally swallow an incoming attack and then re-fire it later at a target of her choosing.

Of course, the timing required to pull that off had to be immaculate.

Imagine I lob a fireball at her. If she times the Ring’s contact correctly, the spell simply vanishes into thin air. If she doesn’t, the fireball explodes in her face.

The internal storage capacity, like everything else, was obviously rank-dependent.

But instead of hoarding it for herself, Lily gave it to Vince.

”Wh-Why?” Vince stammered, wide-eyed, his fingers still twitching from the residual static of the little shock therapy session I put him through.

Lily gave a casual shrug. ”You’ve been saying you wanted a storage artifact forever, right? Think of it as a token of gratitude. You managed the backline perfectly during our fights. Honestly, without you, we all would’ve been screwed.”

Vince went silent, staring at the ring for a long moment before accepting it with a stiff nod. It was clear he was wrestling with a torrent of different emotions.

I refrained from making fun of him, which was a monumental feat of self-control on my part.

...I was also partly distracted by Alexia Von Zynx.

The blind girl was currently rolling around on the white sand, throwing a tantrum like a toddler in a grocery store whose mother had refused to buy him anything.

Yeah, basically, she had lost to Lily. The sting of betrayal was already bad enough, but having me zap her on top of it clearly fried her last remaining circuit of dignity.

”This isn’t fair! This is just not fair!” she cried and hammered her fists against the ground. ”I’m a high noble, for fuck’s sake! I saved all your asses! I was even infected with soul-rot! I’m literally blind! I deserve rewards, not these fucking commoners!”

...Wow.

Did she really just play two victim cards at the same time — infection and blindness?

”Careful. Your elitism is leaking and your narcissism is showing,” I chuckled, leaning back on the log I was sitting on. ”Besides, you do have the Ring of Healing.”

”Not that! I want something cool! Something flashy!” Alexia screamed, then sat upright and pointed a slightly off-target finger in my vague direction. ”And you are one to talk! You’re the President of the Narcissism Club! You’re the CEO of Elitism! I’m just trying to survive in a world where my only reward for being a good friend is demonic infection and a permanent headache!”

”Oh, Lady Alexia!” Ray chimed in, wiping away an imaginary tear from his eye as he dropped to one knee in front of her. He then began to lament in a sing-song voice. ”If only I had an extra hand to give you, I’d give it! If only I had an extra life to spare, I’d surrender it! If only I had a single artifact to bestow upon your noble person, I would! Believe me, I would! But alas! I, too, am merely a victim of life’s cruel whims!”

Kang jumped in immediately. ”If you want my khopesh, Young Mistress, you can have it!”

Alexia’s face turned crimson with fury. ”I don’t want your charity or your imaginary lives! I want myown rewards!”

Michael was crying somewhere as well. ”I also want a reward...”

”Oh, do you, you devil’s spawn?! Was taking my hand and my dignity not reward enough for you?!” Ray snapped at him. ”You were out there chopping away at my limbs, Mikey! You’ve already had your fill of loot — it’s called my motor skills!”

”I was possessed!” Michael wailed, burying his face in his hands. ”And I still ended up with one less eye! Do you want to know what possession feels like, Ray? It’s unpaid and unappreciated labor! Zero out of ten, would not recommend!”

I wished I had a packet of popcorn. Because this was beautiful, better than any Academy drama that I had ever instigated.

This was the true spirit of gaming with friends, wasn’t it? All the fighting and yelling and swearing and cursing and the inevitable questioning of why you were friends with these people in the first place.

It was just... perfect.

Eventually, they got tired of shouting over one another and slumped back down around the campfire.

The three who hadn’t received any rewards yet, Alexia and Michael and Ray, were still pouting. So I decided to host one more game for them.

They outright refused to participate in anything involving physical danger or searing pain, which killed most of the hilarity I had planned.

In the end, I settled for something relatively safe and boring.

•••

The new game was simple.

Ever since the day Ray cracked that painfully unfunny joke and somehow made Juliana laugh, she hadn’t laughed so openly.

The objective for the three contestants was to make her laugh. The first one to succeed would win.

Ray, the former champion, was confident.

He had done it once. How hard would it be to do it again?

...Impossibly hard, as it turned out.

He went first. Standing and dusting off his one hand before swaggering over to where Juliana was helping Lily dismantle the crabs. She looked up as he approached.

”Okay, Julia,” Ray started, wagging his eyebrows at her. ”Knock, knock!”

Oh my god. A knock-knock joke?

I already knew it would fail. She hated those.

As expected, Juliana just stared at him. Her face remained as expressive as a roadside pebble. But then, for reasons known only to her, she decided to play along.

”Who’s there?” she asked flatly.

”Interrupting cow.”

”Interrupti—”

”MOOOOOO!” Ray shouted, jazz-handing with his one hand.

”....”

”....”

What followed next was a profound silence. Not even a cricket chirped. Mostly because there weren’t any nearby.

Juliana just sighed wearily and looked at me. ”We’re almost home. Can I please stab him yet?”

Next was Michael.

He stood up, cleared his throat, adjusted his hair, and looked Juliana dead in the eye. ”What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?”

”...What?”

”A... may-BEE!”

A stupid pun?! Really?! Can none of these idiots construct a proper punchline? — I facepalmed.

Juliana’s jaw clenched hard, but she managed a tight smile. ”Wow. So original. I’ve never heard that BEE-fore.”

Michael returned with slumped shoulders.

Finally, it was Alexia’s turn.

She was rolling up her sleeves like she was about to fight off a gladiator.

But in her excitement, she misjudged her reach and accidentally extended one arm too close to the fire. A few stray embers jumped onto her sleeves.

She started yelling. ”Ouch! Ouch! I burnt my hand! My delicate, noble skin will be charred! Quick, I need ice!”

She sprang to her feet and scrambled over to Juliana, who was watching the frantic display with mild interest.

And before the white-haired girl could move, Alexia invaded her personal space and pressed her burnt hand over Juliana’s chest, right above her heart.

Alexia’s face immediately relaxed in blissful relief.

”Ahhhh,” she cooed. ”So cold~!”

...Oh.

Oh!

The joke was that Juliana’s heart was as cold as ice!

Juliana froze. Her back went rigid, and her pale cheeks flushed a shade of pink I didn’t think her biology was capable of producing.

Then, she actually laughed. And I mean really, genuinely laughed. She threw her head back and let out a full-throated peal of amusement.

She looked so breathtakingly beautiful in that moment it felt almost unfair. ”Hahaha! Okay... okay, that was actually good.”

The silence that followed this time was stunned.

Alexia stood unmoving for a few seconds, half-awestruck by her own success. Then, she punched the air and began a ridiculous victory dance.

”EAT THAT, YOU FILTHY COMMONERS!” she screamed at Michael and Ray. ”Remember, neither of you can ever hold a candle to me! Remember that you exist only because I allow it! Remember that the sun rises specifically to remind the world of my existence!”

The two losers, meanwhile, were massaging their foreheads in a display of shame.

”I thought the pun was good!” Michael sniffed. ”It was layered!”

”The world simply isn’t ready for my comedic genius,” Ray muttered, shaking his head. ”Do you think I didn’t think of the ’cold heart’ joke? I did! But I chose a risky, avant-garde approach with the cow! I was pushing the boundaries of the medium! The audience just wasn’t sophisticated enough!”

And that was how Alexia Von Zynx got the Cracker of Doom — a terrifying warhammer capable of generating localized kinetic blasts upon impact.

Naturally, the damage potency was, yet again, dependent on the user’s rank.