Pursuit of the Truth

On that day, when the sun set and the last remaining rays of sunlight shone on the ground, snow flowed down from the sky. Snowflakes fell and covered the land. They hid the world from Su Ming’s eyes, but could not cover the royal capital.

Neither could they hide the figure in a straw cape and hat standing at the gate. That person held a wooden staff in his hand while standing outside the city quietly, as if he had been waiting for thousands of years.

Su Ming stared at that person from a distance, and he felt as if he had returned to three thousand years ago, to the time he saw Tian Xie Zi upon waking up for the first time.

In the blink of an eye, three thousand years had gone by. Su Ming’s level of cultivation was much different from back then, and an even greater ancient air could be found about him. The memories of when he had traveled with Tian Xie Zi were no longer clear… but had become rather muddled.

Just like how snow and wind could make a person’s vision unclear and prevent them from seeing far into the distance, time could do the same. But there were certain times when being unable to see things ahead was a form of blessing. If someone saw too far ahead, they might think that their happiness was too far away, or they might not be able to see it at all.

Su Ming walked through the snow and wind with the snowflakes falling on him. When he arrived outside the city gate, he walked to the man in the straw hat and cape.

“You’re here.” The man slowly lifted his head to reveal the face Su Ming was familiar with under the straw hat. It belonged to Tian Xie Zi.

There was tender affection on his face, like how a senior of the older generation would look at someone of the younger generation. It was a show of loving care and support that came from the soul. Even if Su Ming had grown so much that his power could allow him to reach the skies, to him, the youth was still a child which he wanted to protect even if he no longer needed his protection.

“Master,” Su Ming said in a hoarse voice.

He looked at Tian Xie Zi, then wrapped his fist in his palm and bowed deeply. His Master had accompanied him since he joined the ninth summit in the land of Berserkers, and then, he kept him company in Ancient Zang too.

“Three thousand years ago, I told you that I will wait for you here and give you your final lesson. Have you thought… of what you want to know yet?” Tian Xie Zi said slowly, and a profound look appeared in his eyes, as if there was an indescribable wisdom in them.

Su Ming fell silent. Three thousand years ago, he wanted his final lesson to be about understanding the world they were in, whether it was the world in Xuan Zang’s body, or the manifestation of Xuan Zang’s memories while he was Possessing Xuan Zang.

But that question had gradually changed as Su Ming walked the earth. It turned into a desire to know how he could leave…

Yet as time passed, Su Ming’s question changed again, and it became a desire to know whether there was truly no connection between the familiar faces he saw… and the people in his memories.

Those questions had appeared one by one in Su Ming’s heart during the three thousand years, and a new one rose in his mind when he was in Hao Hao’s world. It turned into… a desire to know what his Dao was.

He did not know what his Dao was, so he wanted to obtain the answer from Tian Xie Zi. But when Tian Xie Zi spoke and Su Ming truly thought about his question, he suddenly realized that it was not the question he wanted answered, because he did not know what his final question was.

He could only be silent.

While standing outside the city gate in a straw cape, Tian Xie Zi stared at Su Ming in the snow and wind. There was a hint of anguish on his face, as if Su Ming’s expression right then caused him to feel slightly sad. He asked softly, “You don’t remember?”

Su Ming stayed quiet. He stared at the snow and wind, and after a long while, he sighed softly.

“I… am indeed unable to remember it. Perhaps I have too many questions, but if we’re talking about the final question… I can’t find it anymore. I’ve lost it in the passage of time. I want to find it, but space stands between us. I can’t touch it, and I can’t see it clearly either,” Su Ming mumbled.

Tian Xie Zi was silent for a while before he said slowly, “Since you can’t find it, then you don’t have to look for it. Not having your final question is also a blessing.”

Su Ming lifted his head and looked at the snow in the sky. He stared at the city gate behind Tian Xie Zi, and after a long while, he spoke softly. “Master, please help me choose one.”

“You’re determined?” Tian Xie Zi looked at Su Ming, and his expression became even more profound.

“That is a way that is bound to be filled with trials and desolation. Since I am already walking on that road, why should I not be determined to finish it?” Su Ming said softly.

Tian Xie fell silent. The Master and disciple remained silent for a long while in the snow and wind. They stood there until the sun set and snow completely covered the land. When a thick layer of it gathered on the ground and their hair was filled with white as if they had turned grey, the ancient air about them grew stronger, and the feeling of time became even heavier.

“Stop. Don’t continue down that road. Stop here. When you turn your head around, you will see all the faces that exist in your memories. They will appear behind you, waiting for you.

“Turn back and live, become carefree. Don’t bother about what is real or fake. Don’t insist on walking down this path. Sometimes… the happiness of not choosing might be true happiness.”

After a long while, Tian Xie Zi’s voice echoed in the air and traveled into Su Ming’s ears. He slowly turned his head around as if to return to the normal world… to look behind him.

When he turned his head around, he saw Bai Ling in the snow. She was dressed in a mink fur coat, and with her wild beauty, she watched him with a smile.

Beside her was Yu Xuan. She was smiling beautifully, just like usual. Her resolute gaze could melt Su Ming’s heart, and as he stared at her, he felt as if he could hear her calling him big brother, just like she did in his memories.

There was also Cang Lan. The elegant and gentle woman seemed to have waited for Su Ming for countless years. Even if she did not know how much longer she would have to wait, she would still continue waiting, and as she waited, she gradually became the only one in Su Ming’s heart.

Xu Hui was the same as usual…

The elder had a smile on his old face, and there was also a kindness in his expression, as if he was waiting for Su Ming to make his choice. Once he chose to turn his head back, he would speak…

Eldest senior brother, second senior brother, Hu Zi… all their faces were there. All of their images were reflected in Su Ming’s eyes when he turned his head back… but the bald crane was not there.

“If you continue walking down your path, they might still not be resurrected, but if you don’t continue, if you turn your head and walk back, and put down all your burdens… they will be with you.

“Su Ming, you are my disciple. I don’t want… you to be so tired. This is the best choice for you,” Tian Xie Zi said hoarsely.

When he saw Su Ming’s back when he turned his head around, Tian Xie Zi’s heart ached for him, and it was reflected on his face. It was just as he said, Su Ming’s path was filled with hardships, trials, and desolation. He did not want Su Ming to continue down that path… where no matter how many cycles of life and death everyone experienced, there would always be one person missing.

“If you kowtowed even once during those three thousand years, you would have bidden farewell to your past. You can now turn your head around and walk back. Why do you insist on continuing? Why do you still want to seek the truth? Look at Di Tian and Lei Chen… Don’t make it so that in the end, no matter how many cycles of life and death the world goes through… you will always be missing.”

Tian Xie Zi sighed softly. His sigh held anguish as well as pity born out of his love for Su Ming, which was causing his heart to ache for him.

He saw Su Ming’s entire life, and it was filled with hardships and desolation, just like how it should be when someone pursued the truth.

Su Ming was silent. When he turned his head around, everything was filled with warmth. The faces in his memories caused an urge to rise in him. He wanted to nod, to stop walking down his path. He wanted to stay there and become carefree, to stop bothering about what was real or fake, but seek his happiness in, even though he knew it was just an illusion.

“There are plenty of people here, and many of them are familiar to me, but the bald crane isn’t here… The familiar faces here bear the same look as they did in my memories. They live in my memories… but are they still themselves?

“They will no longer have any thoughts regarding the future, because all of their thoughts will be provided based on my memories. In this state… they have no soul,” Su Ming mumbled.

Tears slowly fell from his eyes. The faces before him caused his heart to hurt. He gradually turned his head around, and the instant he completely turned away, the snow in the wind became black. The world behind him turned dark. Even the city and the world before his eyes fell black in an instant.

The descent of night seemed to signify Su Ming’s decision, which had become a darkness not even night could dye black.

Just like his path. When he turned his head back and looked at the world, he did not choose to become a carefree Immortal.

The path under his feet… perhaps it would be accurate to not call it a path. It was not Su Ming’s Dao either. It was an attitude that destined him to be cold and resolute. He would live for himself, for the truth… and also for others.

For that path, for the faces in his memories to possess souls again, for the cycles of life and death to have the bald crane, for all those faces to not just smile but have the spark of life in them, to be able to control lives, fate, and death… Su Ming chose to turn his head back and look at the world, to not become a carefree person… but to turn around and continue down his path!

Even if it meant that no matter how many cycles of life and death there would be in the future, there would always be one person missing. However, on that path filled with hardships and desolation, he would continue pursuing the truth.

Pursuing something was itself a manner of living. It was bound to be filled with hardships and desolation. Seeking the truth, even if it meant becoming the devil, was also an attitude. He was bound to be cold and resolute as he treaded down that path. Pursuing the truth meant that he would find his life in darkness and that he was bound to become the devil due to his attitude on that path.

In the darkness, Su Ming stared at Tian Xie Zi, and in silence, he wrapped his fist in his palm and bowed deeply to Tian Xie Zi. When he straightened his back, he did not speak. He walked past Tian Xie Zi and moved resolutely to the city.

Tian Xie Zi looked at Su Ming’s back, then muttered softly, “Whoever comes into your life is determined by destiny, but you are the one who decides who will stay in your life. Since you can’t forget them, then don’t forget them. If everything has become empty, then all the things from the past are worth having…

“Su Ming, my disciple… Is this your choice? To not turn around and return to the world, all for the sake of the faces you remember, all your memories, and what constitutes as the truth… all so that you can master fate, lives, and death.”