Lucky Rabbit

At breakfast, Augustus announced that classes would take place as usual, which made some of the children groan, since the day was beautiful. Instead of going outside, they would spend the morning cooped up in their homeroom classes, a disappointment that their chancellor instantly picked up on.

“Perhaps your teachers can plan outdoor classes over the course of the coming week,” he said, and the students perked up again, though the teachers didn’t look quite as enthusiastic. Still, the homeroom teachers all nodded, and the children seemed satisfied, so the day continued without a revolt, minor or otherwise.

Mr. Rowe was one of the teachers who didn’t seem to mind the idea of an outdoor class period, and as soon as everyone was seated, they found out why. With a grin, their teacher motioned for them to stand, then pointed toward the hall. “We were promised sunshine and exercise today,” he told them, “and that’s what we’ll have. I’m not going to count on the weather cooperating some other day. Up, up, and don’t forget your bags, we won’t be back!”

Everyone started out as enthusiastic as he was, but apparently Mr. Rowe had some sadistic tendencies that had only been hinted at by his use of exercise to nail a lesson in place. Outside, he wasn’t limited to jumping jacks, sit-ups, and push-ups, so the children ran in circles, played leapfrog, and generally exhausted themselves. He didn’t allow the girls to use their skirts as an excuse not to participate, either, and Pandy soon found herself casting random Minor Heals at children as they passed, restoring one health point here, and two there. It was a much better way to grind her skill than hurting herself, and she had no doubt that the children were better for it.

The first-years were much quieter than usual at lunch, but by the time they’d eaten and rested for an hour, they had miraculously recovered, in the way that young children did. One small boy did fall asleep in his soup, but it was a cold gazpacho, so no harm was done.

To everyone’s surprise – especially Pandy’s, since she was theoretically the substitute teacher – Sir Harriet was absent, and a sextet of fifth-years ran Combat Training class instead. They were surprisingly skilled and focused, and three of the six were girls, wearing loose pants, with their hair up. A few of the larger first-year boys gave the girls some trouble, but after being smacked with the flat of their wooden swords a few times, that foolishness stopped, and everyone had a good class. Pandy did get to use Minor Heal several more times, however, since the older students didn’t have Sir Harriet’s sixth-sense for when something was about to go wrong.

In Horseback Riding, Thaniel was finally assigned his own mount, something which made him almost giddy until he realized that the animal was the smallest pony, not a horse at all. He had gradually overcome the fear of horses he’d acquired after nearly being thrown, and finding himself atop a steed that was barely taller than he was was a bit of a letdown. Still, some of the other students were quite jealous, including Abbington, who looked very unhappy perched atop the gentle but large gray mare he’d been assigned. By the end of class, Thaniel had recovered his usual equanimity, and offered his pony, Buttercup, a slice of a lovely yellow apple ‘because it matched her coat’.

In Governance and Leadership, Mrs. Lovett split the class in half and assigned new ‘positions’. Everyone was a member of the government this time, with one of Thaniel’s former mayors now running the military, while the other found himself in charge of the finance department. Thaniel himself became Minister of the Arts, and promptly announced that the author of  Wayward Pirate Pete was now the official court writer. Silas, the whistle-blowing guard, seemed happy to find himself with the very uninspiring title of Minister of Transportation.

On the other side of the classroom, a second country formed, and to Pandy’s great relief, both former King Micah, as well as most of his cronies, were in this group. Micah got to be Minister of Public Health, which made Pandy worry for the people in his country, but Mrs. Lovett was queen of both ‘countries’, so hopefully he couldn’t cause too many problems. Micah seemed much quieter after his short reign, however, so perhaps Pandy was worrying too much.

The teacher told each group to select a name for their new country – Boogerland was not allowed – and the children used the last ten minutes of class to do so. To Pandy’s amusement, most of the students wanted names that skirted perilously close to the forbidden booger-adjacent one, leaving only a few who preferred names like Rosevanne, Amorelia, or the entirely uninspired West Etherin.

Pandy’s attention wandered as they argued, only to be pulled back when Thaniel stood up and announced the name his country had chosen: Bunlandia. He was very proud, and while Mrs. Lovett definitely looked like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or send him back to the drawing board, in the end she accepted it. Thankfully, Pandy had to leave him briefly in order to get ready for Small Group, so she was able to hold her own laughter until she was back in their room, scrambling beneath the bed for the gifts she’d gotten for the children.

The next trick was getting those gifts out of the boys’ wing without being seen, since she had to remain in human form in order to carry all the packages. Fortunately, everyone else was busy doing other things in other places, so she was free and clear until she entered the foyer and found Mr. Musgrave and Mr. Benjamin standing there.

Pandy hadn’t seen the round little music teacher since the day she and Thaniel arrived, and she was simply grateful that he didn’t seem to be one of Ms. Wellington’s many detractors, since he just gave her a bland little smile. Mr. Musgrave, on the other hand, stiffened and took a step back as if Pandy smelled bad, which she was almost certain she didn’t.

“What were you doing in the student wing?” the rodent-like hall supervisor snapped, eyeing Pandy suspiciously. Her steps hitched, and Pandy very nearly dropped the packages on the ground as she tried to figure out what to do with them. Did she try to hide them in her skirts? Did she pretend they belonged to Ellie or Geraldine, and she’d gone to fetch them so the girl wouldn’t be late for class? Should she just turn into a rabbit and make a break for it?

Then Mr. Benjamin sneezed. This was not a polite, hidden-behind-a-hand sort of sneeze. This was a nose-twitching, red-faced, watery-eyed, runny-nosed, explosive sort of a sneeze. The kind of sneeze that sends the sneezer stumbling backwards while everyone around them retreats as if suddenly finding themselves in a radioactive fallout zone.

The first sneeze was followed by another, and another, each one sending the poor music teacher into greater paroxysms. Mr. Musgrave stared, horrified, then scurried off, circling around Pandy so he could enter the door through which she had just exited. Mr. Benjamin, on the other hand, simply continued to eject everything in his head and chest out through his mouth, spittle flying and tears trailing down his cheeks as he attempted to catch his breath.

When it seemed like he might finally have gotten himself under control, Pandy took a step toward him, saying, “Do you-?” But that was as far as she got, because the sneezing began again, making the florid and rotund music teacher resemble a ripe tomato even more than he usually did.

Mistress Rose seemed to appear from nowhere, though she had to have come from one of the doors opening onto the foyer. She took one look at the teacher, still convulsing in the worst sneezing fit Pandy had ever been witness to, and said, “You haven’t been taking your allergy potion, have you, Benji?” She dipped her fingers into her skirts, coming up with a small bottle which she held out to Mr. Benjamin, who had self-ejected back to the far side of the room before once again managing to catch his breath between sneezes.

“Makes m’head feel fuddy, Rose,” the man said, sounding just like Pandy imagined Thaniel would if he had to take medicine. There was a definite whine hidden in the words. “I’ll be fide in-”

“You will take your potion,” Mistress Rose said firmly, opening the bottle and placing it to his lips. She didn’t go quite so far as pinching his nose, but since it seemed to be fully blocked at the moment anyway, that probably would have been adding insult to injury unnecessarily. “And if it ‘makes your head feel funny’, you will come and tell me that so we can adjust the dose or the ingredients. Do you understand?”

Mr. Benjamin gave a great, exaggerated swallow, then gagged, his face turning green beneath the red. “That’s not my-”

“No, this is a stronger version that will work right away, rather than the daily maintenance dose you should be taking,” the doctor said with something akin to satisfaction. “And if you don’t want to be forced to drink it again, you should listen when I tell you to take your medicine.” She leaned in, watching closely as the blotchy red color faded from the music teacher’s face, leaving him ruddy but natural-looking. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket with unseemly haste, and turned away so he could blow very wetly into it.

“Now, what set this off?” Mistress Rose asked, looking around. Her brows lifted when she saw Pandy, but she just nodded a thin-lipped greeting before turning her gaze toward the floor, lingering particularly in shadowy spaces beneath tables and stairs.

Mr. Benjamin now held a distinctly soggy-looking handkerchief, clearly unwilling to place it back in his jacket pocket, but having nowhere better to hide it. Finally, with a grimace, he shoved it into his pants pocket and said, “I don’ know. I was talkid to Jenson, and Ms. Welligton arrived. Then I jud started sneezig.”

Mistress Rose hummed thoughtfully before looking at Pandy and saying, “You’re Thaniel’s Small Group teacher, aren’t you?”

Not sure where she was going with this, Pandy blinked, then nodded. “And I really should be-”

“Have you been around his rabbit today?” the healer persisted.

Pandy repeated the process of blinking and nodding. She hadn’t exactly been around Bunny, but it probably counted if-

“That’s it, then.” Mistress Rose nodded in apparent satisfaction. Looking back and forth between Pandy and Mr. Benjamin. “I’m afraid you two will simply have to avoid each other for at least a week. Benji, you should be fine after that, so long as you take your medicine.”

The music teacher gave Pandy an apologetic smile that didn’t actually hold much regret. The real Ms. Wellington apparently hadn’t had a chance to annoy him personally, but there was no doubt he’d heard enough to know there was no great loss in having an excuse to stay out of her company. “Well, I should go…grade papers.” He edged away, and Pandy gave him a little wave, though she wasn’t sure music teachers actually had papers to grade.

Once he was gone, Mistress Rose turned back to Pandy, resting her fists on her hips. “I believe everyone was told to stay away from Mr. Benjamin if they’ve been around rabbits,” she said. “Did you think that didn’t apply to you?”

Pandy opened her mouth, then bit her lip. Honestly, Ms. Wellington probably believed exactly that, and Pandy was supposed to be Ms. Wellington. Not that she was doing a good job of it, but she should probably keep up the act in front of other teachers and staff, since they were the most likely people to carry gossip or accept money for information about what happened inside the school. Especially if that information hurt no one except a teacher they didn’t like.

Lifting her chin, Pandy said, “If he can’t be bothered to take his medicine, I don’t see how it’s my responsibility to watch out for him. Good day.” Then she sailed past, heading for the dining hall and the exit out to the commons. She glanced back only briefly, seeing that Mistress Rose actually seemed to have been struck dumb for once, and reminded herself never to drink anything the doctor gave her. She didn’t think the woman would attempt to poison her, but she absolutely would make sure any potions provided to Pandy tasted absolutely vile.