Scarecrow

There were two ships still on Halcro.

I don’t know how none of us thought of it sooner. I think we were all too tired. I think when you’ve held the shell of a moon up for nine hours you come home and you don’t think about the moon for a while.

Ama Sollen thought of it.

She came back to the map room on the fifteenth day. With the girl from Vantle on her hip again, asleep this time. And stood at the end of the long table and said one thing, in Halcro, and Dot gave it to us.

”Your dragon brought one down. Your boy with the silver held the other.” She looked at Okafor. ”They were loaded. They were sealed. They were going outward.”

Okafor put her chalk down.

”So the rooms in the bows,” said Ama Sollen, ”aren’t empty.”

Nobody said anything for a long time.

”It’s a trap,” said Crane. In the end.

He didn’t say it the way he usually says it. He usually says it like a man reading a gauge. This time he said it like a man who wanted very badly to be told he was wrong.

”Everything the houses leave behind is a trap,” said Crane. ”That’s what they’re for.”

No, said the Overseer.

From the doorway. With the dog against its legs.

Everyone looked at it.

The middle has not heard Halcro since the night it burned, it said. Not once. Not beside any word. Its pale eyes went to the map. To the small square door at the edge. When the houses spoil a thing, they do not go back to it. It is written on the line for lost. And the houses do not read that line.

”They left two keys,” said Crane.

They do not count keys, said the Overseer. They count ships. A pause. Two ships did not go outward. Those are on the line. What was in the bows of them is not on any line at all.

Crane looked at the Overseer for a long time.

Then he put his hand on his spanner. And didn’t say anything else.

Okafor said it.

”Small,” she said. ”Not everyone. Not this time.” She looked down the table. ”Lucas, for the thread. Roan, for the arch. Hesk. Crane, for whatever’s on the doors. Ama Sollen, because she built the rooms.” She looked at Dinraal, at the far end, with Isolde beside him. ”You held the second one. Your silver’s still in it?”

Dinraal said something. Dot gave it to her.

”He says yes. He says he left a little. He says he didn’t know why at the time.”

”Then you,” said Okafor.

She looked at the rest of the table.

”And Halloway,” she said. ”In case.”

Nobody asked in case of what.

”And me,” said Ingrid.

She was at the end of the table. Where she sits. Beside Konrad.

”If it sings,” said Ingrid, ”you’ll want someone who can hush it.”

Okafor looked at her. Then at Risa, at the other end, with Kesh.

Risa didn’t say anything this time. She just looked at her mother. And then nodded. Once.

”And me,” said Mother.

Nobody argued with that either.

I’ll write what Halcro was like. When we went back.

Dark.

The little white sun in the middle of the hollow had gone out. I don’t know when. Sometime after the last of us came through the arch, the night it burned. It hung in the middle of the empty air still, but grey now, like a cinder. And the hollow was dark all the way round. The yard, the slips, the cranes. The city in the walls, burned out, black, with the washing lines still strung between the balconies a mile up, and nothing on them.

Cold.

And very quiet.

I came back together on the floor of the hollow where the arch had been. And stood there for a long time. In the dark. Listening.

Nothing. No Hands. No pods. No note. No houses.

Nothing at all.

Just the shell of the moon, round me in every direction. Old. Very old. Still holding, the way I’d asked it to. As if nobody had told it it could stop.

I put my hand on the floor and told it.

You can stop now. Thank you.

It didn’t stop. It said it would rather not. It said it had been hollow for a long time and full of people for a long time and holding them up was the first thing anyone had ever asked it to do.

So I let it hold.

And found Avalon. The long way.

Roan came through first. With his hands out.

Then Hesk. Then the rest. Ama Sollen came through in her apron, with nobody on her hip this time, because she’d left the girl from Vantle with Maura. She stopped in the arch and looked round at the dark hollow and the burned city in the walls where she’d lived for fifty years.

She didn’t say anything.

Then she walked out across the floor toward the first ship.

It was where Tiamat had put it down. By where the arch had been. Very gently, on the floor of the hollow, as if it were full of eggs.

It was empty now. Two thousand children had walked out of it down its ramp the night we came, into Maura’s arms. Its ramp was still down. Its engines were dark, still, from Ingrid’s hush. It lay on the floor of the hollow like something washed up on a beach.

Ama Sollen walked up the ramp without stopping. Into the dark of it. Forward. Past the crew decks. Past the long empty holds where the children had been. Right up into the bow.

And stopped at a wall.

Black metal. Very thick. With no door in it. No seam. No handle. Nothing at all to show there was anything on the other side.

She put her burned hand flat on it.

”Here,” she said.

Crane looked at the wall for a long time.

Then he got down on his knees in front of it, the way he gets down in front of everything the houses build, and put his ear against the black metal.

And didn’t move.

”Crane,” said Okafor. Through the silver. From Avalon. Very quietly.

”There’s something in there,” said Crane. Without taking his ear away. ”Something alive.”

I heard it then.

Through the black metal. Through Crane’s ear against it. Through the silver. Very faint.

Singing.

Not the note. Not the grey one. I’d know the note anywhere; I’ve heard it from ten thousand pieces of queen.

This was one voice.

High. Thin. Very small. Holding one sound, without stopping, without breathing. Not a song. Not a word. Just one sound, held, the way you’d hold a door open with your back if your arms were full.

The way you’d hold a door.

Ingrid put her hand out.

Flat. Palm down. Over the black wall.

And then she stopped. And took it back.

”No,” said Ingrid. Very quietly. ”Not that one. That one isn’t hers. That one’s—”

She didn’t finish.

Mother put her hand on Ingrid’s arm.

”Crane,” I said.

”There’s a seal,” said Crane. Still on his knees. ”Not a lock. A seal. Like Thale. Like the towers. If it’s opened wrong, whatever’s in there with the singing goes up.” He took his ear away from the metal. And looked at it. ”I’ve seen this seal before.”

”Where?”

”On my collar,” said Crane.

He opened it.

It took him an hour. On his knees. In the dark. In the bow of a Hand on the floor of a dead moon. With his spanner and a light Halloway held for him and Ama Sollen telling him, very quietly, in Halcro, through Dot, which plate she’d welded where, and in what order, fifty years ago, on the slips, without ever knowing what for.

I held the ship still round him. Dinraal’s silver held it with me. Ingrid stood behind him with her hand in her pocket, not hushing anything, just there.

And at the end of the hour, very carefully, Crane put the end of the spanner into a place in the black metal that didn’t look like anything, and turned it a quarter turn.

And the wall opened.

There was a room behind it.

Small. The size of a cupboard. Lined in black metal on every side, very thick, so thick that I understood, standing in front of it, why Wren had never heard what was in it. Why nobody had. Nothing gets through that much of the houses’ black.

In the middle of the floor of the room, a box.

Black. Long. Narrow. The size of a child’s coffin. With a lid. And round it, coming out of it, running to every wall of the little room, wire. Very fine. Like the wire in the cores of the towers on Morvane.

And from inside the box, the one high voice. Holding.

Crane didn’t touch the box.

He looked at the wire. All of it. For a long time. Following it, with his eyes, from the box to the walls of the room and through the walls, aft, into the ship. Into the engines, I found out later. Into the drives. Into the bones of the ship.

”It’s not a seal on the box,” he said. Very quietly. ”It’s a seal on the ship. The box is the—” He stopped.

”The key,” said Ama Sollen.

”Yes,” said Crane.

He cut the wire. A strand at a time. From the walls. With Ama Sollen telling him which and Ingrid’s hand on his shoulder and the high thin voice in the box going on, and on, holding.

When the last strand was cut, the voice didn’t stop.

It went on holding. A door, with nothing on either side of it. Because nobody had told it it could stop either.

I knelt down.

On the floor of the little black room. Beside the box. And put my hand on the lid.

She was seven.

I think seven. Halloway says somewhere between six and eight; she says it’s hard to tell, with children who’ve been kept like that. She was lying on her back in the box with her eyes open. Very still. Very grey. With silver round her eyes, very bright, the way it is in all of the children who were born whole.

And round her neck, a collar.

The same as Crane’s. Black. Close. With a small dark stone set in the front of it, and in the stone, a piece of queen, singing the note into her. Very quietly. Under the high voice. Into her throat.

So that she would stay grey. So that she would stay still. So that she would do the one thing she’d been put in the box to do, which was hold one sound, the way you hold a door, without stopping, for as long as the ship needed to go where the houses wanted it to go.

And her mouth was open.

And the sound was coming out of it.

It had been coming out of it, I think, for a very long time.

Nobody said anything.

Then Ama Sollen made a sound.

I’m not going to write what it was. It’s hers. But I’ll say that she put both her burned hands over her mouth, and her knees went, and Mother caught her, and held her, in the doorway of the little black room in the bow of the ship she’d built.

I put my hand on the collar.

And turned it to sand.

The way I turned Crane’s. The day he came to the table and picked up the pen. Very gently. All at once. Every atom of the houses’ black, letting go of every other atom, so that it fell away from her throat in a fine grey dust onto the floor of the box.

And the piece of queen in the stone fell into my hand.

And stopped singing.

The girl in the box stopped too.

The high thin voice. The one she’d been holding. It stopped. All at once. In the middle.

And she breathed in.

I don’t think she’d breathed in for a long time. Not properly. Not the way you breathe when you’re not holding a door. It went into her very slowly, and very deep, and her small chest went up under the grey shift they’d put her in. And stayed up. As if she didn’t know how to let it go.

And then she did.

And her eyes moved.

They moved to me.

Then to Ingrid. Behind me. With her hand out, not hushing, just out. Then to Mother, holding Ama Sollen in the doorway. Then to Crane. To the pale line round his neck where his collar was.

She looked at Crane’s neck for a long time.

Then her hand came up. Very slowly. Like something that had forgotten how. And touched her own throat. Where the collar had been.

And found nothing there.

She said something.

In a language none of us knew. Very small. Very hoarse, after however long of holding one sound. Two words.

Dot gave it to us. Through the silver. From Avalon. And Dot’s voice went, the way I’ve only heard it go twice.

”She says,” said Dot. ”Which way?”

I don’t know how to write the next part.

I’ve tried. I’ve been trying all night.

Which way?

That’s what they asked her. Every time. Every ship. However many ships there were. Somebody opened the box and leaned over her and said which way, and then told her, and she held the door.

And the ship went.

That’s the first thing she said when she woke up. In a little black room in the bow of a ship on the floor of a dead moon, with the collar gone and a stranger’s hand on the lid of her box.

Which way?

Ingrid knelt down.

Beside me. On the floor of the little room. With her knees cracking, the way old knees crack. And put her thin hand out, flat, palm down, over the girl in the box.

Not hushing.

Just there. The way she held it over the thirty-eight pieces in the tray on the long ward. To feel her breathing.

”Nowhere,” said Ingrid.

In our language. Then in Hyrrani, because Kyria taught her some. Then in the little she has of Halcro, from Ama Sollen. Then she looked at Dot’s silver, wherever it was, and said, ”Dot. Tell her in hers.”

And Dot told her.

”Nowhere,” said Ingrid. Very quietly. ”You don’t have to go anywhere. Nobody’s going to ask you again.”

The girl looked at her for a long time.

Then she said something else. Dot gave it to us.

”She says: then what do I do?”

”You come home,” said Mother.

From the doorway. Still holding Ama Sollen. Mother didn’t let go of her. She just looked past her into the little black room, at the girl in the box, the way she looks at everything.

”You come home,” said Mother. ”And you have something to eat. And you go to sleep. And when you wake up, somebody will be there.” She paused. ”That’s all. That’s all you have to do.”

The girl looked at Mother.

”Is it far?” she said. Through Dot.

”Not very,” said Mother. ”My son knows the way.”

I lifted her out of the box.

She weighed nothing. Less than Kesh, I thought, though that can’t be right. She didn’t hold on. She didn’t know how. She lay in my arms with her hand on her throat where the collar had been and her eyes on Ingrid.

Halloway was there. With her bag. She looked at the girl for a long time without touching her. Then she touched her, very lightly, on the wrist. And closed her eyes.

”Her heart’s very slow,” said Halloway. ”It’s been slow a long time. It’s used to it.” She opened her eyes. ”She’ll be all right. If we go slowly too.”

Then we went to the second ship.

I didn’t want to. I want to say that. I wanted to take the girl home through the arch, then, that minute, and put her in a bed on the long ward by the window where the light comes in, and not think about the second ship until morning.

But there was a second ship.

And Dinraal’s silver was still in it. A little. The way he’d left it, the night it burned, without knowing why.

And through his silver, very faint, through the black of the bow, there was another voice.

Holding.

He was younger.

Five, Halloway thinks. Maybe less. In a box exactly like hers, in a room exactly like hers, in the bow of a ship that Ama Sollen had also built, with a collar exactly like Crane’s.

Crane opened the wall in forty minutes. He said afterward the second one was easier because he’d done the first. He said it like it was the worst thing he’d ever said.

I turned the collar to sand.

And the boy stopped holding.

And breathed in.

And his eyes moved, very slowly, to Dinraal. Who was standing at the back of the little room, very still, in his silver, with his hand on the black wall where his silver had gone into the ship.

The boy looked at the silver on Dinraal’s hand.

And said something. Very hoarse. Dot gave it to us.

”He says: you were in the walls. He says: you held the ship. He says: when you were in the walls, it was warm.”

Dinraal didn’t say anything.

He knelt down. Beside the box. And put his silver hand on the edge of it.

And the boy, very slowly, like something that had forgotten how, reached up and put his small grey hand on Dinraal’s.

”He felt it,” said Isolde. That night. On the porch. Through Dot. ”Through the black. Through the room. Dinraal’s silver, in the ship. All this time.” She was holding her husband’s hand. ”He says it was the only warm thing he’d felt since they put him in.”

Dinraal didn’t say anything. He hasn’t said much since.

But Isolde says he went down to the long ward at midnight and sat by the boy’s bed until dawn, with his silver hand on the blanket. And the First Weapon lay across the foot of the bed, very small, a corgi again, with his crown off.

We came home at dusk.

Through the arch. Roan holding it. Hesk at the keystone. Me with the girl in my arms. Dinraal with the boy in his. Ingrid and Mother on either side of Ama Sollen, walking her. Crane at the back with his spanner in one hand and two small black stones in the other, with two pieces of queen in them, very quiet now.

And the arch on Halcro came down behind us.

And the shell of the moon, a long way off, went on holding nothing. Because I’d told it it could stop and it said it would rather not.

Wren heard them the moment they came through.

Two hearts. Very slow. On the red glass.

She told me afterward that she’d been listening for them all day. Since we went. Through the arch, into the dark of Halcro, into the bows of the ships. And hadn’t been able to hear anything. Not through that much black.

And then we came through. And there they were.

”Two,” said Wren. Very quietly. From the long ward. With Rafe on her chest. ”I’ve got them.”

She hasn’t let go since.

Halloway put them in the beds by the window.

The girl in one. The boy in the next. Very close, because Halloway says children who’ve been kept alone sleep better near someone, even if they don’t know it yet. With the light coming in. With the trays humming beside them, and Bell humming loudest, and the thirty-eight pieces of the eldest at the end of the ward singing very quietly in her own young voice.

The girl lay very still and looked at the ceiling.

The boy lay very still and looked at Dinraal.

Neither of them closed their eyes.

Ingrid sat with the girl.

All night. In the chair by the bed. In her coat. With Konrad on the step outside the ward, because Halloway said one visitor and Konrad said he’d wait.

I went in very late. The girl was still awake. Still looking at the ceiling. With her hand at her throat.

And Ingrid was talking to her.

Very low. In our language, which the girl didn’t have yet. Dot wasn’t giving it to her. Ingrid had asked Dot not to.

I stood in the doorway and listened.

”I was in a room too,” Ingrid was saying. ”A long time. Longer than you’ve been alive. With a band on my neck. Not like yours. Not a song. Just a band. So I’d stay quiet.” She paused. ”Nobody asked me which way. They didn’t want me to go anywhere. They just wanted me to stay.”

The girl didn’t move.

”And then one day I heard the door go,” said Ingrid. ”At the end of the corridor. And footsteps. And it was my children. Grown. Standing in the doorway with lightning all over them.” Her voice didn’t change. ”And my daughter knelt down on the floor and took it off with her hands. And I didn’t know what to do. I’d been in that room so long I didn’t know how to go out of it.”

The girl’s eyes moved. From the ceiling. To Ingrid.

”You don’t have to know,” said Ingrid. ”Not tonight. Not for a long time. You just lie there. And breathe. And when you want to know something, you ask me, and I’ll tell you, and if I don’t know, I’ll find somebody who does.” She put her hand out. Flat. Over the blanket. Not touching. ”That’s all. That’s all you have to do.”

The girl looked at Ingrid’s hand for a long time.

Then, very slowly, the way the boy reached for Dinraal, she put her own grey hand up under it.

And Ingrid closed hers round it.

And the girl closed her eyes.

She slept for two days.

Crane gave the stones to Tally the next morning.

The two small black stones from the two collars. With the two pieces of queen in them. He held them out on his palm, at the door of the long ward, and didn’t come in.

Tally looked at them for a long time.

”They sang into the children,” said Crane. ”Into their throats. For years.” He didn’t look at the beds by the window. ”I don’t know if you want them in the tray. With the others. I wouldn’t blame you.”

Tally took them.

She didn’t say anything. She took them out of the black stones, very carefully, the way she takes every piece out of every housing, asking the stone to let go. Two small grey pieces of queen. Very quiet.

And she put them in the tray. With the others. Beside Bell.

”They didn’t choose it either,” said Tally. ”Nobody in that box chose anything.”

Crane stood at the door for a long time.

Then he went away. And Halloway says he came back that night, very late, and stood at the door again, and looked at the beds by the window, and didn’t come in. And did that every night for a week.

On the eighth night the girl was awake. And looked at him. At the pale line on his neck.

And lifted her hand. And touched her own throat.

And Crane came in.

Ama Sollen came on the third day.

With the girl from Vantle on her hip. She stopped at the door of the long ward the way Crane did. In her apron. With her burned arms.

”I built the rooms,” she said. To Halloway. In Halcro. ”Fifty years. I put the plates in. I didn’t know.” She looked at the beds by the window. ”I don’t think I should go in.”

Halloway looked at her for a long time over her spectacles.

”Nobody on this ward,” said Halloway, ”has ever been asked whether they should come in.” She stood aside. ”Mind the trays.”

So Ama Sollen went in.

She didn’t go to the girl. Ingrid was there. She went to the boy, who was lying very still with his eyes open, looking at Dinraal’s silver hand on the blanket.

She sat down on the other side of the bed. And put the girl from Vantle down on the end of it.

The girl from Vantle looked at the boy. The boy looked at the girl from Vantle.

”Mother,” said the girl from Vantle. To the boy. Pointing at Ama Sollen. Her only word.

The boy didn’t say anything.

But his eyes moved. From Dinraal’s hand. To Ama Sollen’s burned one, on the blanket beside it.

And stayed there.

I’m not going to write what the girl told us when she woke.

Not all of it. Not yet. She didn’t tell it all at once. She told it to Ingrid, a little at a time, over a long time, on the long ward and later on the porch, and Ingrid told Okafor, and Okafor wrote some of it on the slate in the map room and some of it she wouldn’t write anywhere.

But I’ll write three things. Because they matter for what comes next.

The first is that she doesn’t remember a name.

They didn’t use one. Ever. They called her key, when they called her anything, the crews, the men who opened the box and leaned over her and asked which way. She doesn’t remember her mother. She doesn’t remember her world. She remembers the inside of a box, and the note in her throat, and a voice asking which way, and the door.

Mother said, when Ingrid told her that: ”Not in this house.”

So for now, on the long ward, she’s just her. Ingrid says she’ll choose one when she’s ready. Ingrid says she’s in no hurry and neither is anyone else.

The second thing is about the door.

She doesn’t make doors. Not the way the houses wanted. Not the way the four small ones on Avalon do, the ones the houses asked for in the terms, the ones who cut new ones where there were none. She can’t make a new one.

She can only hold one open.

One door. To one place. The place she’s been. Over and over. Every ship. Every time anyone asked which way.

The far yard.

”She’s been there,” said Okafor. At the long table. Very quietly. With Ingrid beside her. ”She’s been there hundreds of times. She knows the way.” She put her hand flat on the slate. ”And she’s seven.”

Nobody said anything.

”So we are not going to use her,” said Okafor. ”Not to hold a door. Not to point. Not once. Not even to save the one thousand nine hundred and sixty.” She looked down the long table. At me. At Crane. At the Overseer in the doorway. ”Not ours. Not theirs. Not one child, ever, as a key. Write that down.”

Konrad wrote it down.

And the third thing.

Ingrid told us that one on the porch. On the eleventh night. After Kesh was asleep. With Risa and Konrad and Mother and me.

”She asked about the others,” said Ingrid.

”What others?” said Risa.

Ingrid didn’t answer at once.

”The other keys,” she said. ”She says the empty ships brought her back from the far yard every time. In her box. And when they brought her back, they took her off the ship, at the far end, and carried her down a long cold place, and put her in a room.” She looked at her hands. ”A big room. With a lot of boxes in it. All singing. All holding.”

Nobody moved.

”She says she could hear them,” said Ingrid. ”Through the black. Not words. Just the sound. All of them. Holding doors. A whole room of them.” Her voice was very low. ”She says she used to listen to them, in between. When nobody was asking which way. She says it was the only thing she had.”

She stopped.

”She asked if they’re still singing,” said Ingrid. ”I told her I didn’t know.”

Nobody said anything for a long time.

Then Risa, with her face in Kesh’s hair, very quietly:

”How many boxes?”

Ingrid looked at her daughter.

”She can’t count,” said Ingrid. ”Nobody ever taught her.”

I went down to the long ward after that.

Late. The way I do. The girl was asleep. The boy was asleep, with Dinraal in the chair beside him and the First Weapon across his feet. Wren was asleep in the end bed with Rafe, for once.

And in the tray at the end of the ward, the thirty-eight pieces of the eldest were singing. Very quietly. In her own young voice.

I sat down in the chair by the girl’s bed. Ingrid’s chair. Ingrid had gone up to the house at last, because Konrad had come in off the step at midnight and said, love, you’ve been sitting for eleven days.

And I looked at her. Asleep. With her hand at her throat. With the silver round her eyes, very bright, even shut.

And I thought about the terms.

Give us the one we call world-breaker.

Give us the four small ones who make doors.

The houses asked for them. The day Abena was nine days old. Into the voice. In front of everyone. For every child on every world, forever.

And we said no.

I’d always known what they wanted me for. Okafor said it at the long table, after the Hungry: a weapon. Something to point. The most effective weapon anyone could ever hope to have.

I’d never let myself think, properly, all the way down, what they wanted the four for.

I thought about it then. In Ingrid’s chair. On the long ward. With the girl asleep in front of me and her hand at her throat where the collar had been.

Not well enough, the old report said. The one the Overseer told us about. The doors they opened only went where the dome went. The houses had keys. Children in boxes, holding one door each, to the one place they’d been. That was all a key could do.

And they wanted ones who could make new ones.

To put in a box.

I sat there until dawn.

In the morning, at the dawn count, I went to Konrad’s stool.

I don’t, usually. I stand at the back. But I went up to the stool on the red glass, and Konrad looked down at me with the sheets in his hand and Ingrid beside him with the lamp out because it was light.

”Write something for me,” I said.

He took out his pen.

”On the back,” I said. ”Under Yet.”

He turned the first sheet over. To the very bottom. Under the forty-one names, and Outward. 1,960, and the one word he’d written on the porch.

”What?” said Konrad.

”And the room,” I said.

He looked at me for a long time.

Then he wrote it.

And the room.

Days 4590–4602. The Key.

Ama Sollen: two ships still on Halcro, loaded and sealed. The Overseer: the houses don’t count keys. Small this time. The moon still holding. A black wall in the bow; one high voice, holding. Crane: I’ve seen this seal before, on my collar. A box the size of a child’s coffin and a girl of seven, grey, with the note in her throat. I turned it to sand. Which way? Nowhere, said Ingrid. Then what do I do? You come home, said Mother. The boy in the second ship had felt Dinraal’s silver; the only warm thing. Okafor: not one child, ever, as a key. She can’t make doors, only hold one, to the far yard. A big room with a lot of boxes, all singing. She can’t count. And the room.