MARVEL: BUYING GODHOOD

For the first few minutes after leaving Sara’s house, Gwen didn’t say anything.

She was sitting beside me and looking outside while I drove.

I thought she was just tired after everything we’d done today, so I didn’t ask.

I was already thinking about tomorrow and what I should show Sara and Emily when Gwen suddenly asked, “So is this your answer?” I looked at her for a second before looking back at the road.

“Answer to what?” Gwen turned toward me.

“Are you saying you see me the same as them? That I’m not that different?”

I didn’t understand what she meant.

“What?” She looked at me like I should already know, and after a few seconds I started thinking about everything we’d done today.

Shopping, choosing clothes for all three of them, letting them choose suits for me, massaging their feet, and then the opera.

Oh.

She meant the way I was treating Sara and Emily.

For a moment, I thought maybe this could be good.

If Gwen saw that I wouldn’t treat every girl differently just because she was close to me, maybe she would become a little less obsessed with me.

But I decided against it.

“No. I treated them like that because they’re your friends. Nothing more.”

Gwen stayed quiet for a second before asking, “Then you really needed to choose their clothes too?” Oh boy.

She was extremely pissed.

She just hadn’t shown it in front of Sara and Emily.

Before I could answer, she continued, “You could’ve chosen mine and been done with it.

But no, you had to choose for all three of us, and then you let all three of us choose clothes for you too.” I said, “They wanted to choose,” but she clearly wasn’t interested in that answer.

“And the massage?” Gwen asked.

Her voice was still low, but I could hear it vibrating slightly as she tried to control herself.

“I don’t remember you ever offering to massage me before.

Sara says her feet hurt and you were immediately ready.” I reminded her, “I massaged you too.” Gwen looked at me.

“After I came back and saw Sara’s feet on your lap.” I opened my mouth but didn’t say anything.

Yeah, that wasn’t helping me.

Gwen continued before I could think of another answer.

“And was wearing Emily’s suit really needed?

Was the opera needed?

Sara says she wants an opera and suddenly you close an opera house, arrange dinner and have people perform just for us.” She looked at me again before saying, “It was like you were giving them the best date you could when we haven’t even gone on one.”

Oh.

So that was the bigger problem.

I was about to say something when Gwen continued, “I know you don’t want to date.

I know you said we’re young and you’re busy.

Fine.

But then you shouldn’t do things like this with other girls before you’ve even done them with me.” I said, “Gwen, today wasn’t a date.” She immediately answered, “I know it wasn’t.

That’s not what I’m saying.”

She looked down at her hands for a moment before continuing, “They’re my friends. I wanted you to like them. I wanted them to like you too. I’m not saying you can’t do things with them.” Her voice started shaking more now.

“But shouldn’t I have been first? At least that should’ve been my right. The first girl you take somewhere like that. The first girl who chooses your clothes. The first one you do all these things with.”

A tear came down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

Okay.

Now I had done it.

I found a place near the side of the road and stopped the car.

Gwen turned away when another tear came, but I’d already seen it.

I removed my seat belt and moved toward her.

“Come here.” She didn’t move, so I put my arm around her waist and pulled her toward me.

Gwen made a small surprised sound when I pulled her over the space between us, and she ended up sitting sideways on my lap.

Her navy gown moved around her legs, and she quickly put one arm around my shoulder so she wouldn’t lose balance.

I wrapped both arms around her and pulled her closer.

She stopped resisting almost immediately and put her whole weight against me.

For a few seconds she just stayed there with her face near my neck.

I could smell her shampoo this close, and I could feel her breathing against me while she slowly calmed down.

When she finally lifted her head, though, she didn’t move away.

Her face was only a few inches from mine.

Her eyes were still a little watery, and with her sitting on my lap in the gown I’d chosen for her, she looked completely different from a few minutes ago.

Gwen came a little closer, enough that for a second I thought she was actually going to kiss me.

My heart skipped a beat.

Damn.

She noticed me staring and looked at my lips for a moment before looking back into my eyes.

She still didn’t kiss me.

Instead, she rested her forehead against mine and stayed there.

I finally said, “You’re not the same as them.” Gwen asked quietly, “Then why did you treat me like I was?” I kept one arm around her waist and answered, “I wasn’t thinking about it that way.

They were with us, they’re your friends, and I treated them well.

That’s it.” I paused before adding, “But you’re right.

I should’ve done some of those things with you first.”

Gwen looked at me.

“So what are you going to do?” I thought about it for a second before answering, “You choose the date.” She blinked.

“What?” I repeated, “You choose.

Wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do.

I’ll take you.” Then I added, “Only you.”

She immediately became calmer.

“Only me?” I nodded.

“Only you.” Gwen stayed close for a few seconds before quietly saying, “Okay.” Her tears had already started stop, and she rested her head against my shoulder again.

Good.

Problem solved.

At least I thought so.

Then Gwen said, “And you’ll consider my proposal.” I looked down at her.

“Which?” She lifted her head and gave me a look.

“You know which one.” Unfortunately, I did.

She meant her proposal about us.

The one I’d been avoiding because I didn’t want to start a relationship yet.

I narrowed my eyes.

“You’re taking advantage of this now.” Gwen didn’t deny it.

She was still sitting on my lap with her arms around me when she asked, “Will you consider it?” I stared at her for a few seconds before finally saying, “Okay.

I’ll consider it properly.” Gwen immediately asked, “Promise?” I nodded.

“Yeah.”

That seemed to satisfy her completely.

She smiled a little and rested against me again.

I stayed quiet for a moment before something occurred to me.

Her tears had stopped really fast.

She had gotten a date, made sure it would only be the two of us, and also got me to agree to properly consider her proposal.

I looked down at her.

I think I may have been duped.

I thought about pointing it out, but then decided against it.

I manipulated her whenever I thought I needed to, and she normally just ignored it.

If she wanted to do the same thing to me sometimes, I couldn’t really complain.

Actually, thinking about it that way made this worse.

I manipulated her.

She apparently didn’t mind manipulating me either.

And both of us seemed perfectly fine with it.

I looked down at Gwen again.

She was still sitting on my lap in the gown I’d chosen for her, completely comfortable now and showing no sign that she wanted to move.

If we ever actually got into a relationship, we were going to be so toxic for each other and probably everyone around us.

And I didn’t think either of us would care.