Back Then, I Adored You

…

Xu Wennuan had the most peaceful sleep she’d had over the past year. If her urge to visit the toilet hadn’t forced her to wake up, she would have wanted to sleep for a much longer time. Her first waking thought was to open her eyes and sit upright; however, before she could move, she felt her hand being enveloped in a larger one. Her heart jerked, and the following second brought the realization that it belonged to Lu Bancheng.

I had a nightmare last night, and I even cried. He was the one who coaxed me to sleep… Did he stay by my side to guard me the entire night?

Before Xu Wennuan could fully comprehend this possibility, Lu Bancheng’s low and gentle voice drifted to her. “Nuannuan, the truth is, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for more than a year now…”

A year ago! Isn’t that when we were divorced?

Xu Wennuan shut her eyes, feigned sleep, and did not react.

A few seconds later, Lu Bancheng spoke again. “I’m sorry.”

Xu Wennuan’s breath halted.

“I’m really sorry, Nuannuan. I didn’t mean to do what I did that night. I know that you don’t believe me, but I really didn’t mean it. I truly love you… But when you called out Wu Hao’s name repeatedly, I was fiercely jealous, and I was unforgivably compulsive…”

Xu Wennuan’s throat constricted, and she found herself unable to swallow when she tried. After bringing up the past, Lu Bancheng lapsed into silence. The room was quiet for a long time before he finally said, “I know that you’re afraid of me—and that you hate me—which is why I won’t let myself become a hindrance to you.”

“Nuannuan, I really hope that you will continue living a good life…” At this, Lu Bancheng slowly raised his other hand and placed it on Xu Wennuan’s head. He gently caressed her twice, and it was obvious how much he cherished her.

Xu Wennuan felt like all the blood flowing through her body had suddenly stopped. She didn’t know how long exactly he had caressed her hair, and just when she was about to fall asleep as a result of his relaxing her, she heard him mutter to himself, “Do you realize, Nuannuan, that the only time I dare to treat you like this is when you’re asleep?”

An indescribable sense of sadness engulfed Xu Wennuan and a wave of pain struck her heart. Lu Bancheng continued. “Even though it’s just for a short period, it really feels very nice…”

As his words settled, Xu Wennuan felt Lu Bancheng’s head nearing hers. Her entire body tensed up, and her other hand beneath the blanket tightly gripped the bed sheets. She didn’t know what was happening to her, but when she felt his breath fan across her face, she started to feel nervous. Her heartbeat suddenly accelerated.

Just when she was starting to feel like she could not endure this burden anymore, his lips landed on her brow. Xu Wennuan was as stiff as a rock and completely stopped moving. She felt the entire world going quiet, and all she could feel was his breath.

After some time, he shifted his lips away from her forehead. Following that, she felt like she was in a dream when she heard him say, “Nuannuan, if it’s possible, I wish to be a terminator and terminate the past with you, but I also want to be an initiator and let you learn to love all over again.”