Back Then, I Adored You

Lu Bancheng waited for 10 minutes before uneasiness overtook him and he knocked gently on the door. Xu Wennuan made no response, and all he could hear was running water. He waited a moment longer and then raised his hand to knock again when he heard a barely audible soft sobbing on top of the sound of the running water.

There was a dull ache in Lu Bancheng’s heart. His frozen arm hovered in the air. After a while, he lowered his elbow. He stepped sideways, leaned against the wall, and remained there quietly. The crying sounds in the bathroom alternated between loud and soft. His heart remained aching until three in the morning, when Xu Wennuan walked out of the bathroom, pale and expressionless wearing a bathrobe.

“Nuannuan.” When Lu Bancheng heard the door, he immediately stood up and looked at Xu Wennuan. She turned a deaf ear to his words and continued walking ahead slowly.

“Nuannuan,” Lu Bancheng called out again. He reached out and grabbed her elbow. As if his touch was poison, she instinctively shook her hand and aggressively flung his away. He wanted to reach out for her again, but she took two steps backward and widened the distance between them.

“Alright, I won’t touch you. We can talk like this.” Lu Bancheng compromised and then continued. “Nuannuan, I really didn’t mean to do what I did. I lost control of myself. I will take responsibility for my actions.”

Responsibility?

Xu Wennuan, who had not glanced at him since he had raped her, turned her head and swept her cold eyes over him. When she spoke, her voice was icy. “There’s no need for that.”

“Nuannuan, I know that you’re very angry right now, but can you please think about this? I promise that I will be very good to you. Nuannuan, I really do like you. I…”

Before Lu Bancheng could finish his sentence, Xu Wennuan laughed coldly. “You like me?”

“You raped me because you like me? Lu Bancheng, do you know what it means to like someone? Wu Hao is the one who likes me. He never laid a finger on me even though we were together for 10 years. What about you? You’re not qualified to say that you like me! Rape is rape! The only thing that I feel when I see you now is disgust!”

Lu Bancheng had already thought about what he had intended to do when he had been standing next to the bathroom door. He had wanted to wait until she had come out so he could talk to her and tell her his heartfelt feelings. It was okay if she didn’t reciprocate them, just as long as she would allow him to take care of her and stay with him for the rest of their lives, he would be content.

But what does she think about me? I’m a rapist… I’m disgusting… I’m dirty… Oh, she even compared me to Wu Hao.

Yes, I can’t match up to Wu Hao in her heart. No matter how much more brilliant I am compared to Wu Hao, my status has just been reduced to nothing now that I’ve done what I’ve done.

Lu Bancheng lowered his gaze to conceal the wave of helplessness and pain that flashed in his eyes. After a moment, he spoke again. “Nuannuan, whether you believe it or not, my feelings for you are sincere.”

“Is that so? Lu Bancheng, it’s a good thing that you didn’t tell me about them before this. If I had known that you had ulterior motives from the start, I would never have made such a transaction with you! Because I’ll never fall for you! I wouldn’t have liked you in the past, and I’m even more sure about that now that you’re a rapist!”