Back Then, I Adored You

Of course, he had seen her enter his house and later leave in the wee hours.

In all honesty, he had been glad that she’d left silently without a word.

If she hadn’t, he could not imagine how he would have addressed the awkward situation the next morning when they bumped into each other.

He could never look upon that night as a serious encounter, because he was too deeply in love with little troublemaker. It was how he’d expressed it to his military friends at the club: He would never allow himself to meet another girl and, even if he did, he would only let her down.

He had been through so much with little troublemaker. When he had almost drowned, everyone except her had given up on him. During his toughest times, only little troublemaker had offered him comfort.

Even if Qin Zhi’ai unwittingly occupied a spot in his heart, he would never forget or part with little troublemaker.

Since that night she left, Qin Zhi’ai had never approached him, as if the incident had never happened.

Gu Yusheng felt despicable for having allowed his drunkenness and her nonchalance to excuse himself for denying their intimacy, just to avoid a responsibility that he was incapable of shouldering.

He was also disappointed that Qin Zhi’ai had never broached the topic with him, making him feel ashamed and disappointed in himself.

He had let little troublemaker down and also had hurt Qin Zhi’ai.

Until now, he had not understood how he could fall for Qin Zhi’ai when he was still so deeply in love with little troublemaker, but now he was committed to understanding, as the current situation was untenable.

He could not forget, nor could he bear to part with, little troublemaker and, if this situation continued, he would only hurt Qin Zhi’ai more than he already had.

He needed to swiftly end the unintended feelings he had for her. If their relationship was destined to be fruitless, the least he could do was minimize their entanglement.

That was why he had used her to agitate Liang Doukou at the Gu Company’s annual party.

It would be best if she is little troublemaker. If she isn’t, though, then once she earns a place in his heart, it would be painful to get her out, and it would inevitably leave a scar, but it would still be a necessary move.

If she isn’t little troublemaker, he planned to transfer her to another location where they would never have the chance to interact again in the future.

Gu Yusheng gradually closed his eyes, which were starting to ache from staring into the darkness for so long, but this is how he could clearly see his own heart.

He earnestly hoped that Qin Zhi’ai was little troublemaker, because that would be the best outcome.

If she wasn’t, he would have to break her heart.

……

When Qin Zhi’ai returned with the roasted chestnuts, Gu Yusheng had already fallen asleep.

After quietly placing them on the nightstand, she stood beside his bed and gently pulled the sheets over his shoulders.

She stared at him for some time before turning to glance at the intravenous drip.

There wasn’t much fluid left inside the bag, so she dared not to leave, for fear that his blood would reflux once the bag was empty.

She stood there for more than five minutes before walking out of the room to call for the nurse to remove the needle.

After it was removed, she pressed a cotton ball against Gu Yusheng’s back until the bleeding stopped, and then took a seat on the sofa.

Being alone without anything to do, she retrieved a novel from her bag and started to read it silently.